Rose’s 16th Birthday Party
July 14, 2011
“Ree! I need help with my hair!”
“Fred, get out of my face, you useless toad –”
“ – get the cake out, Ronald!”
“ – what do you mean, my hair looks better up? I spent hours curling it like this!”
“ – someone needs to let me out of this closet! I’m stuck! Help! Help!”
“ – blibbering humdingers are in a large quantity around your head, Albus, dear, maybe you should –”
“Droverly! I am going to kill you!”
The general chaos in the Weasley household was contagious. All you had to do was step into the home and you’d be immediately swept up in the tangle of chores, favors and decorating that was swirling around in the air.
I was sitting in Rose’s room, trying my best to calm her down after her hair-induced meltdown. She looked gorgeous, of course, but since one of her hairs – I’m not even kidding, ONE – was sticking straight up in the air, she was wailing about her mother’s rubbish hair genes and how her life was now over.
I don’t think it helped when I pointed out that compared to the starving children in Africa, the women getting raped in Saudi Arabia, and global warming, her problems were nothing.
Okay, I’m sort of tactless. Sue me.
Of course, that’s when Hugo had to step in and make it even worse. I swear that kid lives for making people’s lives miserable. He thinks it is some sort of enjoyable sport.
Hugo is one severely messed-up little bugger.
“Hiya, Rosie!” He said cheerfully, sauntering into her room. Only I caught the slight smirk he was wearing, and I was immediately wary.
“What did you do?” I asked, narrowing my eyes at him.
“Nothing!” He cried in an indignant manner, raising his hands up in surrender. “Why must you always think that I’m up to something? In fact, I did Rosie a favor.”
Rose turned away from the mirror to look at her brother. “What did you do?” She sounded slightly frightened.
Hugo’s grin widened. “I booked some entertainment for your party. You’ll love it.”
“…Paramore?” Rose asked hopefully. I couldn’t help but snort at how stupidly naïve she sounded.
He snorted. “No. Better.”
“Taylor Swift? Drake?” She continued, still in that stupidly naïve little voice.
“Even better.” Hugo was beaming now. “Chunky the Clown!”
We stared at him for a beat.
“Chunky…the…Clown?” Rose repeated numbly. Hugo nodded vigorously.
“He’s the best clown in the business.” He recited importantly.
Rose let out a pitiful moaning sound and slumped onto her bed, which I took as my cue to take over.
“So, let me get this straight: you booked a clown to Rose’s sixteenth birthday party.” I confirmed.
“Yes, I did.”
“Yes, Ariadne, a clown.”
“Hugo –” I began patiently, running a hand through my hair. “When, exactly, did you decide that it would be appropriate to hire a clown for your sister’s sixteenth birthday party?”
“Well…everyone loves clowns.” He pointed out in a reasonable voice.
“Hugo.” I said again. “Rose is afraid of clowns.”
There was a short silence.
“That’s preposterous. No one can be afraid of clowns.” Hugo said dismissively.
“Well, she is. As a matter of fact, so am I.”
“Well, you’re both insane.”
I stared at him again.
“Hugo. I don’t know what possessed you to hire a bloody clown for someone sixteenth birthday party, and frankly, I don’t care. Just get rid of it.” I said flatly.
“Aw, come on –”
“Hugo. Bilius. Weasley. Get. Bloody. Rid. Of. It.” I said through gritted teeth, ready to snap and explode at any second.
“But I already hired him! He has our address and everything!” He said earnestly.
And then Rose exploded. I’m not even kidding – outright exploded.
“YOU GAVE THE CLOWN OUR ADDRESS?!” She shrieked. I yelped in surprise and immediately backed up a couple of spaces, slapping my hands over my ears so that my eardrums wouldn’t get blown out. “WHAT WERE YOU THINKING, HUGO!? I can’t believe you gave it our address! What if it comes over here and kills me?! Oh my god, of course that would happen to me! Didn’t you know that clowns are psychopaths who creep on teenaged girls and then kill them?! OH MY GOD, MY OWN BROTHER WANTS TO KILL ME! What have I ever done to you?! I’m your own flesh and blood, Hugo! Your own flesh and blood! How could you do this to me? Why do you hate me so much? The world hates me. My life is over!”
Did any of you follow that? No? Good. Me neither.
Why is she my best friend, again?
“Jesus, Rosie, it’s just a clown. I don’t know how I’m going to get rid of it –”
“I DON’T CARE! GET RID OF IT! TELL IT YOU GAVE THE WRONG ADDRESS! SEND IT TO FREAKING CHINA! I. WANT. IT. GONE!” Rose screeched. “DO YOU UNDERSTAND ME, HUGO?! GONE! AS IN, DISSPEARED! IF A BLOODY CLOWN APPEARS AT MY PARTY, YOU BETTER COUNT ON GETTING COMPLETELY KILLED!”
Wait – I’m confused. Is there a different between just normal ‘killed’ and ‘completely killed’? Can someone be sort of killed?
The world may never know.
“Okay, fine, gosh –”
“GO AWAY!” She finished, pointing at the door. “LEAVE, HUGO! GET OUT OF MY SIGHT BEFORE I STRANGLE YOU!”
“No need to be so bloody feisty, Rose. Are you having your period or what?” Hugo muttered mutinously as he shuffled out of the door. Rose let out a frustrated scream, and, upon seeing herself in the mirror, promptly burst into tears and declared that she was just going to bloody shave her head and join a covenant so she wouldn’t have to deal with this family ever again.
Two more hairs were sticking up with the first one.
These were the first words that I registered once I had regained consciousness due to my Burly/lack of oxygen – induced fainting spell.
It made me wish I could just faint again.
I gurgled incoherently (great job, Ariadne) as I slowly sat up, clutching at my pounding head.
“Wha’ ‘appaned?” I asked groggily, peering up at the boys grouped around me through my blurry vision.
“You fainted.” Burly provided unnecessarily. He looked extremely upset. “I’m really sorry.”
Al reached out and hit him again, and suddenly, it all made sense. I wasn’t the idiot here – Burly was! Al was getting mad at Burly for making me faint! Oh my god! He cares! He cares about me!
Holy Merlin, I might just faint again.
“S’alright.” I mumbled at him, waving my hand towards him slightly. I struggled to see, holding back my jubilant cries of extreme happiness. The world tilted around me again in a whirlwind of color, and I quickly lay down in the grass before I puked all over the Quidditch team.
Or, actually, I could care less about puking on the Quidditch team. I think I’d care more if I were to puke all over the love of my life. I mean, of course I would do something like that. Better safe than sorry, Aunt Astoria says. I’m usually sorry, so I figured I should try and be safe for once.
Wow, I don’t make any sense.
“Hey, you alright?” Someone poked my forehead, and I groaned.
“Oh, yes, I’m just happy dandy!” I spat sarcastically. “Peachy, in fact!”
“Happy dandy? Who says happy dandy?” Burly snorted.
“You shouldn’t be talking, Burly, you use the word ‘woo’ in normal conversation.” I reminded him. Burly harrumphed and muttered ‘whatever’ in a very girly manner.
See, this sort of strengthens my earlier theory of his poofiness. I swear there’s something up with that kid.
…it might just be brain damage, though.
“Well, she seems alright enough to argue with Scottie,” Hugo said in an amused voice. “By the way, what did you call him, again?”
“She calls me ‘The Burly One’!” Burly cut across in a deeply scandalized voice before I could even open my mouth to explain. “I mean, how rude is that?! It’s so degrading!”
“Get over yourself, Burly.” I mumbled to him. I let out a sharp gasp as the world tilted again and a jagged arrow of pain shot through my head. Merlin, Burly, what have you done to me?
“Dude, she looks like she’s going to be sick.” Blue sounded disgusted.
Wow, Blue, your concern is staggering. Really, don’t worry yourself too much about me.
“Alright. Hospital Wing Time.” Al said in a businesslike voice. I let out a sound of protest, but it quickly turned into another quick inhalation as black spots appeared in my vision again.
I swear. I am going to kill. Burly.
“Who wants to carry her there?” He continued. The babbling group of boys suddenly fell silent.
Hey! HEY! Why doesn’t anyone want to carry me?! I’m not fat or anything! This is so awful. These guys are so bloody selfish! I hope karma’s a bitch to them.
“I hate you all.” I moaned plaintively.
“Aw, come on guys, take one for the team!” Al said encouragingly.
I cannot believe this. Am I really that repulsive, that no one wants to carry me?! I mean, I probably weigh less than the average five-foot-seven girl! I’m only a hundred and ten bloody pounds! It’s not that heavy!
I think I want to cry.
Letting out a deep sigh/groan, I heaved myself to my feet and started walking unsteadily back to the school.
“Forget it, I’ll just go myself.” I said, rubbing the heel of my hand into the side of my head. I took a couple of staggering steps towards the door, sure that I wasn’t going to make it, but then someone came up behind me and lifted me effortlessly up into the air.
Al? I thought hopefully, ready to flutter my eyelashes and go into complete ‘damsel-in-distress-oh-swoon’ mode.
“I was just kidding, Air-ree-add-nee!” Burly said cheerfully, slinging me more comfortably across his arms. “Of course I’ll accompany you to the hospital wing!”
I gave him the stink eye all the way there, but, judging by the way he was smiling self-approvingly instead of looking abashed over the fact that he wasn’t Al (it’s all your fault! Why can’t you be Al?), he was under the impression that he had just done me a great personal service instead of completely ruining my day.
I really hate these people.
“How do you get yourself into these situations?” Rose asked deploringly as she sat next to me in the hospital wing.
I sighed and shifted uncomfortably, trying to adjust the hospital gown so that I didn’t look like a hooker. It rode further up my thighs. Forget it.
“I have shit for luck.” I reminded her. God, I hate my luck. My life sucks so much.
So, instead of just letting me off after a quick potion and a nice pat on the head (a sticker? Perhaps a sticker? I do like stickers), Madame Pomfrey insisted that I stay here overnight so that I couldn’t ‘over-exert myself’ into fainting again.
Apparently, my numerous concussions and various other head injuries have made me even more prone to fainting spells than the average witch/wizard.
Have I ever mentioned that I absolutely despise the hospital wing? Well, I do. I’ve been traumatized so many times in here that I don’t even think I can count it all.
You know, this would be much less painful if I actually had visitors. So far, the only people that had bothered to make sure if I was still alive were Burly – who dropped me off – and Rose, who, instead of pampering me with love and chocolate, had given me an hour-long lecture on personal safety.
I really need to find a new best friend.
Rose pursed her lips at me – I told her she looked like McGonagall and she immediately stopped – and went back to reading her book, occasionally letting out a disapproving sniff.
“What?” I finally asked, after her incessant sniffing got to be too much.
“Nothing.” She said in a voice that implied something. I decided not to push her.
“Okay, I’ll tell you, no need to beg.” She acquiesced, putting her book aside. I rolled my eyes. “So, guess who I like now? Nick Royce!” She squealed before I could even open my mouth and ask who.
I gazed blankly at her. “…er, who’s that?”
At least she doesn’t like Scorpius.
“Hello? He’s on your Quidditch team, Ree.” Rose said.
I mentally shifted through the names in my head.
Wait. There are no names in my head. Because I don’t know their names.
Well, this might complicate things a little.
Using the process of elimination (I know, I’m so smart), I finally came across the right face. “Blondie?” I asked incredulously.
“Nick Whatever-his-face-is.” I said. Duh, Rose. “I call him Blondie. He’s the beater, right?”
“Yeah!” Rose gushed, her eyes lighting up. “He’s so hot –”
“Wait, when did you talk to him?” I asked her.
Rose giggled. “He asked me to tutor him in potions. You never know – we might brew up a steaming pot o’ love.” She waggled her eyes at me, and I groaned and wacked her with my pillow.
“God, Rose, you’re so embarrassing!”
She laughed as I swung my pillow at her again, dodging with ease and sticking her tongue out at me.
“Well, well, well. Look who decided to drop the books and have some fun.” A mocking voice floated in from the foot of my bed, and I put the pillow back behind my head, already rolling my eyes at Scorpius and his pathetic-ness.
Rose didn’t seem to agree with my theory of his pathetic nature, as she was currently glaring at him rather than rolling her eyes and dismissing his comment.
“Well, well, well.” She imitated in a scalding voice. “Look who decided to show up and actually act like a real cousin.”
Hey, yeah! He didn’t even bother to check on me before this! Arse.
“I didn’t know she was in here.” Scorpius said nonchalantly. “Otherwise I would have came earlier and saved her from your lecture on personal safety. How long was it this time, Ree?”
“She didn’t lecture me, Scorpius.” I lied automatically, coming to the immediate rescue of my best friend. I mean, sure, she acts like a mother sometimes, but that’s nothing that Scorpius needs to worry about.
“Ree, she always does. It’s just another one of the services that she offers.” He sneered at her, and she leered right back, rolling her eyes and flipping her hair back over her shoulder.
“Whoa, am I sensing some sexual tension here?” Said a joking voice as another group of visitors joined my bed.
“What are you doing here?” I squawked. Did the team have to come now?
Well, I was complaining about my extreme lack of friends before this. Now I have some of the most popular people in the school grouped around my bed (Rose may not know it, but she’s actually got a secret fan club of younger girls who try to be just like her and some guys who like to discuss tactics to finally win her over. Trust me, I know. I was dragged – literally – to a meeting once. It was traumatizing. They wanted to know Rose’s bra size so that they could enlarge their boobs to the same size. And then they started a steamy debate over whose breast size was better – mine or hers. I remember that I literally ran away from the room).
“Well, excuse us for coming to visit our favorite Seeker.” Burly put his hands up.
“I’m your only Seeker, you prat.” I pointed out drily.
“Details.” He waved it off. “So, how’re you feeling?”
“I’m fine!” I yelled exasperatedly in the direction of Madame Pompfrey’s office. There was a distinct yell of ‘no, you’re not!’ thrown back at me, and I stuck my tongue out at the closed door.
“Hey, Rosie.” Al said – my eyes widened. Holy crap, he’s here?! – and walked over to throw an arm over her shoulder, friendly and protective at the same time. He gazed steadily at Scorpius, who narrowed his eyes slightly and came closer to me, as if he had to prove that he was more overprotective of his precious cousin than Al was (so HA!).
With simultaneous exasperated huffs, me and Rose both pushed our pratty cousins away from us and shared a look of annoyance.
Now I remember why I’m best friends with her! She’s bloody awesome, that’s why.
“Whoa, and a little rivalry thing going on here – this room is just brimming with tension, isn’t it?” Burly declared cheerfully and with relish, conjuring up a chair and putting his feet on my bed. “Well, go on,” He gestured at them with a lazy flick of his hand. “Continue with your tensions. Entertain me.”
I kicked his feet off, not trying to be gentle in the least bit. “Burly, do us all a favor and shut up, alright?”
“No can do, love. The Dragon cannot be silenced!” He declared in an extremely dorky voice. There was a beat of silence while we gazed at him in incredulous fear.
“Dude. ‘The Dragon’? Really?” Blondie asked.
Ah. I can see where Rose gets her infatuation. Along with being rather fit, he seems to be the ‘cutting and cunning’ type of person.
Damn. He completely ruins my stereotypical ‘dumb Quidditch bloke’ theory.
“Whatever, Blondie.” Burly said in a lofty voice, stretching out languidly. My mouth dropped open and I flung my pillow at Burly’s face.
“Excuse me! Don’t use my nicknames!” I cried, affronted.
“But they’re so catchy!”
“You’re in love with a blondie, you prat, you can’t just go around calling other people –” Blondie cut across, insulted.
“That doesn’t mean that you can just steal my names –”
“Hold on, he’s in love with a blondie? You love Dom?!”
“Oh, god, she’s way out of your league –”
“Oi, she’s perfectly in my league, thank you very much –”
“Yeah, right, you just scared her off by being really stupid and creepy –”
“I was not creepy! I was sexy!”
“Are you bloody kidding –”
We immediately stopped babbling over each other and looked around in utter shock at The Dreamy One, who, at the moment, looked anything but calm and dreamy. In fact, he looked a bit frightening, to be honest. His blue eyes were electrifyingly bright as they glared around at us.
“Will you shut up! All of you – you’re acting like infants, for God’s sake!” He snapped.
Well. Someone’s a little grumpy.
“Jesus.” I said in a scandalized tone. “We were just conversing, no need to –”
“Chase, shut your gob.” Dreamy snapped at me. My mouth dropped open in complete outrage – oh, no he bloody didn’t.
“Excuse me?” I asked in a frighteningly chilling tone. “I think I just heard you telling me to shut my gob – I’m sure that isn’t what you meant to say, was it?”
Dreamy suddenly looked extremely frightened. “Erm – no, not at all.”
“Good.” I smiled sweetly at him. I continued to smile serenely as they exchanged wary glances with each other. Rose and Scorpius merely looked amused, not at all surprised by my ‘scary side’, as Scorp liked to put it.
“Merlin,” Blue said, sounding impressed. “You know, Chase, you might actually just survive on this team.”
“Yeah, other than your blatant lack of any physical strength –” Blondie said.
“What he means to say is, you can really keep us in check, which is good since we’re honestly just a bunch of rowdy blokes –” Hugo cut across.
“Actually, I’m pretty sure ‘he’ meant to say that she was severely lacking in the area of physical capacities –” Blondie glared at Hugo.
“But that’s not the point, here, is it, Nicky?” Dreamy inserted. “What we really just want to say is –”
“We think you’ll do fine on the team.” Al cut off loudly, smiling. “Welcome to the Team, Chase.”
“No – Welcome to the Chase, Ariadne.” Burly said, winking at me. I couldn’t help but grin back – I do love my double entendres.
You don’t know what he means? Thinks about it. It’ll come to you.
I never thought I’d see the day when I had to beg to go to detention.
“Oi, hand me that hammer, will you?”
Sighing in boredom, I lifted up the hammer and held it out to Burly, who flashed me a smile of thanks (I grimaced back) and proceeded to bang it into the wall, the muscles in his arms and torso rippling slightly from the movement. I rolled my eyes again – he was only trying to get Dom to catch a glimpse of his (and I quote) ‘sexy body’.
I was currently sitting in a chair in front of the tapestry, not allowed to get up and do anything else because of my ‘fainting spell’. It had been so boring in the hospital wing after everyone left – actually, it was boring even when everyone was still there. Me, Dreamy, Burly and Blue sat there and made small talk while Al, Hugo and Scorpius glowered at Blondie and Rose’s flirting.
I’m honest – they literally sat there with their arms crossed, the three of them, side by side, and glared at Rose and Blondie. I couldn’t believe my eyes at first – Al and Scorpius were actually cooperating on something! They sort of even looked like friends at one point, when Scorpius muttered ‘I’ll beat his arse’ under his breath and Al nodded his agreement in Scorpius’ vague direction.
I’m still recovering from the shock.
“Hey, Ree, mind if I have a word?”
I jumped in surprise and looked around to see that Dom was standing there warily, sending nervous glances up at Burly now and then. Luckily, she had approached and spoken so quietly that he was still unaware of her added presence, and he continued to sing loudly to the song blaring on the portable music player he had brought along, occasionally reaching up to wipe some sweat from his forehead and flick it at Blue.
He’s really very mature. And charming. Clearly.
“Sure,” I said, getting up and following her to the other side of the room.
“Er…” She began, glancing at the working boys again. “Listen – I have a favor to ask you.”
“Shoot.” I said cheerfully, glad to have some stretching space after sitting in the same uncomfortable chair for hours.
“You know your cousin? Scorpius?” She asked, her voice still sounding nervous.
“Oh, no, Dom, I have no idea who this ‘Scorpius’ bloke is. I mean, it’s not as if I live with him or anything.”
She shot me a look that clearly said ‘sod off’, and I grinned at her.
“Yeah, what about him?” I asked.
“Well…I sort of like him.”
Dom must have read my expression (which I’m sure looked a lot like a deer caught in the headlights of a car), because she backtracked quickly, using her talent to babble endlessly in order to relieve a situation.
The funny thing is, it never works. In fact, the situation gets even more tense.
“I mean, not too much, you know. He’s just sort of attractive, like, his hair and his eyes and his body. And his personality is pretty nice, too. Plus, he’s smart, which I really like in a guy –” (Burly’s smart, I thought vaguely) “ – and I just sort of fancy him a little. I mean, if you know he doesn’t feel the same way about me then you can just forget that I said –”
“Dom, shut up.”
“Okay.” She said quickly.
“Alright,” I started, taking a deep breath. “You like Scorpius. Okay. Okay.”
Merlin, I sound like I’m giving her a pep talk.
“Look.” I bit my lip, wondering how to put the next part nicely… “He likes Rose.”
What? Why are you giving me that look? I’m tactless, remember?
She blinked. “Oh,” She said in a small voice.
I shook my head quickly. “No, no! Not a lot, I mean, at the moment he’s still convinced himself that he hates her, but you should have seen him when Rose was flirting with Blon – Nick, he looked like he wanted to punch his face out –”
“No – I get it.” Dom said, looking at me with frighteningly bright eyes. “I mean, of course he likes Rose…I should have realized it before…they’re always fighting…sexual tension, you know…”
“Erm.” I bit my lip again. “Right.”
“Alright, then, I guess I’ll just…”
“I know someone else who really likes you, Dom.” I blurted out before I could stop myself.
She turned around. “Sorry?”
“Er…I know another bloke who really likes you.”
She cocked her head thoughtfully. “Really?” There was a small smile at the edges of her mouth. I couldn’t help but grin at the rush of hopefulness her expression brought for me.
I looked towards Burly quickly. He was carefully hanging up the tapestry, and I could hear him muttering about angle measures from all the way across the room.
I snorted. Nerd.
“Yeah.” I grinned. “You might know him – you’ve known him for a while now.”
Her eyes brightened. “Really?”
“Yeah!” I said, now excited. “He’s on our Quidditch Team…fabulous Quidditch player, you know.” I, of course, didn’t know this for sure, since I really can’t tell, but I was guessing Burly was a great Quidditch player. He was, after all, on the team.
…though that doesn’t say much – I’m on the team.
“Oh, my god!” She said excitedly. “I mean, I sort of like Scorpius, but I’ve always liked Lysander…all along! This is perfect, Ree – thanks so much!”
Wait – what?
I gazed after her in horror as she pranced away happily.
Shit. I am such a screw-up. Burly is going to kill me.
hey, hey, heyyy XD
chapter seven, eh? what'd you think?
favorite quotes? favorite scenes? favorite characters? least
favorite characters? lemme know in a lovely review!!
school will be out in a week, which means that all of your reviews will be answered soon :D
this also means that i wont be getting a whole lot of sleep for one night.
but tis all good!
thanks for reading my insanical story :D