“Um... you wanna come in?” she asked, with a shrug.
“As long as you don’t mind?” he replied.
“I guess not,” she shrugged again.
He stepped inside looking around, surveying the peeling wallpaper. His eyes took in every inch of clutter and mess, her feeble attempts to clean, to try and keep on living. After a full turn in which he assessed the situation he looked back to her, she stood there, head down, arms folded across her chest. She knew she was a state, knew that her apartment was a sate, that she hadn’t tried hard enough. She knew he pitied her and that was the worst of it.
“Mary,” he whispered, his shoulder dropping as he stepped towards her.
She flinched backwards but hit only wall, however he noticed her reaction and stopped.
“Mary please, let me help, I want to help,” he pleaded.
“I don’t need help,” she replied, her voice hoarse from lack of use.
“Yes you do, look at this place, look at you, please,” he asked again.
“I’m fine,” she snapped, her anger restoring some sense of normality in her.
There was a flicker of something in his eyes for a moment but had vanished before she was sure of what she’d seen.
“Mary,” he began, exasperated, “when was the last time you had a real meal?”
“This evening,” she replied, tersely.
“What did you have?” he asked.
“Who are you, my mother?” she almost shouted.
“No but I’m someone who cares about you Mary, enough to care that you’re living in squalor and not feeding yourself, you’re wasting away and I can’t let you do that,” his voice rising also, though it was imploring, rather than angry.
“You lost all right to care about me when you left me for that-,” she choked on her words, tears springing to her eyes as she turned away. She wouldn’t let him see the effect he still had on her.
“Mary,” he whispered in her ear, he’d moved silently closer, too close. She felt her breath catch and she hated herself for it, she wished in that moment that her wand wasn’t lying on the pile of junk that was strewn across the coffee table, she wanted it in her hand, she wanted it to fight, to hurt him, to make him feel some little part of what she felt.
“Just leave me alone,” she replied, meaning it to come out strong and defiant but it fell flat on its face and was weak and feeble, almost weary.
“I won’t, you need to talk about this Mary, bottling it up, it’s not healthy. At least if you won’t leave, at least talk,” he said, quietly, though he seemed to have enough brains not to try to touch her.
“Talk to who?” she asked, with a sigh.
“We’ll find someone, there must be someone, I mean anyone from school would be happy to I know it, and then there’s...,” but he trailed off.
“There’s what?” she asked, her hands resting on a filthy kitchen counter.
“There’s... always me... Mary,” he said, ever so softly as he reached out and gently touched her shoulder.
His touch was too much however. She spun around, throwing all her might behind her fist. It connected with his jaw bone and there was a sickening crack as he spun across the room and landed, sprawled in a heap on her kitchen floor. She glared down at him, all traces of tears vanished from her eyes.
“Don’t you ever, touch me again,” she hissed, her voice soft with suppressed anger. She turned away from him and grabbed her coat, she didn’t care if he was left alone here, there was nothing of value here for her.
“Mary wait please, talk to me, I can help, I’ll listen,” he shouted in a last ditch attempt.
“You wanna talk, I’ll talk. I lost a child, I was pregnant but I lost the child. My baby is dead, you happy now because you never cared for her did you. She meant nothing to you, but it doesn’t matter anymore, all evidence of your mistake of sleeping with me is erased, there’s nothing but your word against mine and who are people going to believe. You can go back to your girlfriend and pretend this never happened. I hope to hell your happy now,” she threw at him, “you don’t have to bother locking up, just see yourself out. I’ll see you around Sirius.”
She snatched her wand from the clutter, gave him one last, disgusted glare, then left, slamming the door behind her.