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Chapter 21 : Of Running and Moments.
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Score! I got my full license. I can now drive after nine AND with more than one person in the car. Who's a happy camper? Oh yes, it's me! :)
All of the people that have been making me so miserable lately have been cut out of my life. Yay for being completely tired of their shit? :) I've felt a ton better, and it only seems to be improving. School will be over on the 9th, and then I'm flying to see my family on the 12th until the 27th.
But after I get home, Ladylike will be getting in the REAL swing of things. Maybe I might even have it finished by the time my junior year starts. (: But what would I do without this story!? I have no idea. I think I'd go crazy.
Amazing chapter image by Midnight_Witch on TDA. :) If any of you ever request a banner or a chapter image and she picks it up, you're very lucky. :) Her images are amazing!
Hello, Lorcan. :)
All proper young ladies are polite, even to those who have hurt them in the past.
“You’re with him now?”
Lorcan’s eyes are frozen on the way Holden is positioned next to me, his arm still locked around my waist and his body pointed in a way that sort of looks as if he’s trying to shield me from something. For someone who has previously believed me to be completely infatuated with them, this must come as somewhat of a shock. However, he didn’t look hurt or angry. Just frozen.
I find myself frozen, too. Parting my lips to reply to Lorcan, I realize I don’t have a response. All this time, I’ve been wanting Lorcan to discover us. Now that he has, I’m not so sure I’m pleased with what is sure to happen. I don’t want to hurt Lorcan, nor do I want to hurt Holden. But right now, seeing the empty look on Lorcan’s face, I’m aware that I’ll be hurting one of them, no matter what I do.
“Well?” Lorcan prompts us both finally. He’s standing a few meters away, his hair disheveled and his hands jammed into his pockets. I glance down at his socks, merely out of habit; one is purple, and the other is black, printed with little hippogriffs prancing around. Oh, thank Merlin. Essentially, Lorcan is all right. Although the hippogriff sock is a little fruity. “Are you with him?”
I look at Holden for my answer, expecting him to give me one. He returns my questioning eyes by loosening his hold on my waist. He’s leaving the answer up to me- exactly what I didn’t want him to do, although it’s what he should do. I sigh. It’s too late to give up on this now. I’m too deep in to give up on Holden and run back to a boy who’s given up on me.
“Yes,” I tell Lorcan. “Yes, I am.”
Lorcan presses his lips together in a thin line. He stares at me, and I can’t read his expression. I expect him to turn abruptly and stomp away from me. After a few moments, I realize he isn’t planning on going anywhere anytime soon. Lorcan seems to almost shrink before Holden and I, dejectedly looking at the both of us as if he’s truly broken now.
“Are you doing this just to get back at me?” he asks bitterly after a few silent minutes.
I should’ve known Lorcan is too smart to believe for one second that I don’t have some hidden motive for dating Holden Wood. He knows the dedication I have to people I care about, and he knows that, unlike him, I wouldn’t give up on how much I cared about him just because he was giving up on me. Lorcan is too intuitive and knows me far too well to think that I randomly decided to go out to Hogsmeade with Holden Wood around the same time that he decided to flirt with those bloody Ravenclaws. He isn’t stupid- indeed, nowhere near stupid.
I look at Holden again. He knows I have a hidden motive, just as Lorcan does. He knows that my main goal from all of this is to make Lorcan Scamander jealous, which has already started to work, and he knows that I do fancy Lorcan more than I fancy him. His face seems to reflect that; he looks as if he’s ready for me to just walk away from him, right back to Lorcan. Silently, my eyes drift back to Lorcan. With Holden’s arm still limp around my waist, looking at Lorcan has no spell over me. He doesn’t seem like Lorcan to me right now. The Bludger incident, the day I saw him waving so happily at those obnoxious girls, has apparently changed him when I look in his direction. I don’t feel dizzy, I don’t want to fall over, and I don’t have to resist the urge to throw my arms around his neck and snog him. He’s just… a person.
I want to say yes. It would be the truth. I should tell the truth- but when was the last time I did that? There’s no point in starting now. I don’t even tell the truth to myself half the time anymore, do I? Instead of saying a single word, I bite my tongue. Like, really hard. I’m seriously biting down on my tongue. I can even taste the blood. Ew.
“Dom, come on,” he demands. “You don’t like him, do you? You can’t possibly like him. He was just there when you needed something to piss me off, wasn’t he? It was just convenient. He’s a complete prat, Dom. You deserve better than that.”
Holden stares down at me to see how I respond, and I cringe at the harshness of Lorcan’s words. He is being the prat in this situation. I know he’s upset to see me with Holden’s arm around my waist, to have caught me with his lips against mine, but is that any reason to be so awful? No- not at all. “I don’t recall Holden ever giving up on me and then, flirting with a gaggle of Ravenclaw girls right in front of my eyes. So I think my standards have improved drastically,” I retort. Immediately afterwards, I regret speaking so sharply. Lorcan is acting like a pure arsehole, but that doesn’t give me a reason to be a bitch in return.
“Does he know you’ll hit Bludgers in his direction the minute he pisses you off?”
I bite down on my tongue again. Of course he knows that I wasn’t hitting Bludgers at him for fun. I didn’t make it a secret or anything. But no less, it surprises me that he would bring something like that up. Who is this bloke, and where is my Lorcan? This isn’t him. Lorcan is sweet, playful, and thoughtful; the bloke standing in front of me is harsh, serious, and spiteful. How can this possibly be Lorcan?
“You don’t even like him, Dom,” he snaps at me. “He even knows you’re just using him, because he thinks you fancy him at least a little bit. But you don’t.”
I don’t respond to him; I merely glare. Holden drops his arm from my waist, probably from my lack of response to Lorcan’s accusation. I watch him as he shakes his head at Lorcan, and then he takes off down the pathway that leads towards the castle at a rather quick speed. Wonderful- I know I’m going to hurt someone by doing this, but I’ve been hoping it wouldn’t happen for a few days at least. I stare at Holden’s back, openmouthed, as he walks away from me.
“Are you going to go after him?”
I don’t give him an answer. Lorcan doesn’t deserve an answer. He’s an arse.
“No? So you are trying to upset me,” Lorcan’s voice is full of anger now, as are his silvery grey eyes. “You can’t just let me move on, can you, Dom? You leave it up to your bloody cousins to inform me that you actually fancy me- you could never tell me yourself. But you expect it to work when you try and stop me from giving up, yeah?”
Silence follows his words. I stare wordlessly at him.
“Do you honestly even care about him, Dom?”
Once upon a time, I wouldn’t have a real answer for that. Now, however, all I want to do is chase after Holden, who is steadily walking away from us. I think my answer lies in that.
“Yes,” I finally tell Lorcan. “Yes, I do.” And with that, I leave Lorcan speechless, chasing towards Holden down the path.
He’s gotten rather far in such a short period of time. I’m not much of a runner, especially without shoes on while I’m running on a stone path dotted with dangerously trip-worthy tree roots, so catching up to Holden takes me quite a while. I’m all legs, you see. It’s hard enough for me to walk in a straight line. Flying at top speeds, I can do. Dodging incredibly dangerous Bludgers in midair, I can do. Running after Holden, not so much. Finally, though, I get close enough for him to hear me thumping along down the path. He stops and turns around to face me.
“I’m… sorry…” I pant, halting abruptly a few centimeters away from Holden. If it was possible, my feet would’ve screeched along the ground. I need a better breaking system. “You… had… to… hear… that…”
“Stop, Dom,” he tells me. “You’re going to hurt yourself.”
“He’s… wrong…” I ignore Holden, as usual. “I… do… care… a… lot…” Fuck. Never, ever, ever am I ever running, ever again.
“I know that, Dom.”
“He’s… just… a… prat…”
“Dom, stop it!” he insists. “Breathe!”
I take a massive gulp of air. “I… chose you,” I tell him. “You… Not him… You.” With that, I fling myself against his chest, taking another deep breath of air. I don’t think I’m going to be able to stand up for much longer. I hate running. I really do.
“You might possibly be the most un-athletic girl in the entire world, Dom,” he teases, folding his arms around me easily and tugging on the end of one of my bounciest curls.
“Don’t ruin the moment, Holden.”
Okay... annoying extra author's note time? Yes, I think so.
I don't know why, but I've got the urge to start a James II/OC story. Of course, I shouldn't do this. That's too typical of HPFF anymore, to have a strictly James II/OC story. But I've got to have something else to work on whenever Ladylike isn't working out for me in my head, and one-shots aren't cutting it anymore! I don't know for sure yet, though. I'm thoroughly intrigued by Teddy/Victoire, too. And Oliver/OC. So I don't know. It's just a random thought I had. :)
ANWAYYYYY! Alright, guys... this is the last stand with Lorcan that Dom will be having anytime soon. It's kind of a shame, but they're definitely not going to be getting along for a while. I know you want them to. But that's not going to work right now. :) It'll all work out in the end! Unless I become furious with Lorcan and refuse to give him a happy ending.
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