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Déjà Vu by dream_BIG
Chapter 14 : Morpius Salfoy, Date Sabotaging and Barbie
Rating: MatureChapter Reviews: 86

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“Checkmate.” I said in a bored tone, moving my piece whilst simultaneously yawning and checking my watch. Ten minutes. Only ten bloody minutes have passed.

Fuck you, Kronos.

“How did you do that?!” Scorpius cried, looking upset. His hair was sticking up in eight different directions from his constantly running his hands through it in frustration, and he had two pink blotches on his cheeks.

Basically, Scorpius Malfoy looked like a right mess and it was all my fault.

Well, partly my fault. Another portion of his edginess might have been the fact that Rose was currently on a date with Richard Dean. You know, it might be a small contributing factor. Very small. As in, minutely minor. I bet he wasn’t thinking about Rose at all. In fact, he was probably thinking about anything but Rose.

Yeah, and I was actually Apollo in disguise. I am willing to bet my left foot that Scorpius is so anxious purely because of Rose’s aforementioned date with a bloke whose name didn’t rhyme with Morpius Salfoy.

I’m not even going to lie, though – Richard Dean is fit. Like, really attractive. He’s got this mop of brown hair and these gorgeous honey eyes. Not to mention that he’s Ravenclaw’s Quidditch captain and has a perfect body.

But, for Scorpius’ sake, let’s just pretend that I despise Richard Dean. I am on Scorpius’ side, after all.

“Do you want to stop?” I sighed, bored.

“Yeah, sure.” He muttered, running his hand through his hair again. I sighed, blowing a random piece of hair out of my face and looking up at the ceiling, just hoping that some form of entertainment would miraculously drop from the skies and into my lap.

Nothing happened. Shocker.

“This sucks.” Scorpius said morosely, flicking a chess piece across the board.

I sighed. “Agreed. We’re the biggest losers on the face of the planet.”

“Hear, hear.” He muttered. “Well, apart from Al. He officially wins that title for bloody stalking Noah.”

“He’s not stalking her.” I said dissaprovingly. “Stop exaggerating.”

“Um, yes, he is. He’s got his invisibility cloak and is literally following her around while she shops with her friends.” Scorpius informed me.

I made a face. “Jesus, what a creeper.”

“That’s what I told him.”

“How’d he take it?”

“He punched me.”


He sighed and sat back. “I can’t believe everyone has a date for Hogsmeade except for me and you.”

“Well, Dom and Freddie went together, so I don’t think it would really qualify as a date, per se.” I pointed out reasonably.

“Same difference.” Scorpius waved his hand, and we sat in silence for a bit. I stared at the flames, watching the flickering fire as it made shadows along the wall. It was sort of mesmerizing, and I found my eyes growing heavier and heavier until –

“That’s it.” Scorpius stood up, offering me his hand. “Come on.”

“Where are we going?” I asked drowsily, looking at his hand in confusion.

“We’re going to Hogsmeade.” He declared, pulling me up.


“That’s right.”

“But…” I looked down at my clothes. I was currently wearing an old Gryffindor Pride sweatshirt that belonged to Apollo and reached past my knees, a pair of beat-up skinny jeans, mismatched socks, and my dinghy old converse. Eh. Decent enough. I’m not trying to impress anyone, anyway. “Alright, let’s go.”

“Wait, one thing before we go.” Scorpius said, reaching over and patting down my hair a bit. “It was sticking up all funny.” He informed me, smoothing it so that it hung properly.

I grinned and fixed his hair as well. “It was pointing in eight different directions.”

“I bet I looked like Al’s long-lost cousin.” Scorpius grinned.

I laughed. “Yeah, with blonde hair.”

“After you, mademoiselle.” Scorpius opened the door for me.

“Who said chivalry was dead?” I scoffed as I walked through.

Scorpius closed it behind me and offered his arm. “A blithering idiot, that’s who.”

I took it, grinning. “Rose has no idea what she’s missing out on.”

“Damn right.” Scorpius muttered, scowling. “I hope their date is going horribly.”

“What a nice friend you are, Scorpius.” I said dryly, causing him to roll his eyes.

He suddenly turned to me, his expression excited. “You’ve got to help me, Missy!”

“With what?” I asked warily, not liking his calculating expression one bit.

“We are going to sabotage Rose and that Richard Dean bloke’s date.” Scorpius announced proudly, tacking on a self-loving smirk at the end.

I stared at him.

“If you actually think that I’m going to help you, you’re clearly delusional.”

“Oh, come on, Missy!” He whined, pulling a puppy-dog pout as he widened his large silver eyes at me. I scowled, using all of my (rather pitiful) self-restraint not to cave.

“No.” I said firmly, and he continued to pout at me, widening his eyes and letting his bottom lip quiver just a bit.

Merlin, he looks like freaking Bambi.


“Please?” He sniveled. “I really need your help, Artemis.”

Hold God, this is bloody painful.

“Fine. I’ll sit there with you while you do it.” I sighed. “Just, please…stop looking at me like that!”

“HA!” He cried ecstatically, punching the air.

“If she gets mad, I had nothing to do with this, understood?” I called after him as he whooped down the hallway. “SCORPIUS!

“Yeah, whatever!” He said, beaming as he grabbed my hand and towed me down the hallway. “Let’s go!”

What did I get myself into?


Scorpius’ scowl deepened as Rose laughed at something else Richard said, and I rolled my eyes.

“Scor, that wasn’t even funny.” I murmured to him, nudging him in the side so that he would relax a bit. “She was really just laughing to be polite.”

“Or because she likes him.” He muttered, glowering at their table as Rose laughed again, smiling charmingly and moving closer to Richard. Her knee gently touched his under the table and his grin grew wider. Scorpius growled.

As in, literally growled.

“Freak.” I told him, smirking when he shot me the bird.

He sighed deeply. “What should we do?”

“Okay, first of all, what’s with this whole ‘we’ nonsense? I said I didn’t want anything to do with this operation!” I protested. “And second of all, you’re throwing this little evil-fest, you come up with the bloody ideas.”

“You suck.” He informed me.

“You’re pathetic.” I shot back, raising my eyebrows at him.

He scowled. “You shouldn’t be talking.”

I glared at him. “I’m leaving.”

“I was kidding, Artemis.” Scorpius said hastily, grabbing my arm and pulling me down again. “I didn’t mean it. Sorry.”

“Yeah, you better be.” I said in mock-resentment, grinning at him to show that I wasn’t in the least bit offended.

He sighed deeply, rubbing his temples and shooting Rose and Richard another look. She laughed at something else that he said and gently laid her hand on his arm. “I just really like her.” Scorpius mumbled, looking thoroughly depressed as Richard angled his body towards her and grinned down at her.

I put my hand on his shoulder. “I know, love.” I gave Rose and Richard another look; they were leaning towards each other. “And that’s why I’m going to help you.”

“Wait, you are?” Scorpius asked, perking up and looking at me excitedly. “What are you going to – oi, where are you going? Don’t just leave me here, I look like a loser! Artemis!”

But I was already making my way towards Rose and Richard’s table. They were now inches away from each other, and Rose’s eyes were fluttering shut. Richard took that moment to take a swift glance down her shirt, and I heard Scorpius shoot up from his chair behind me.

“ROSE!” I said loudly, making my breath fast so that it seemed like I had sprinted the whole way here. Rose jumped and opened her eyes, looking around in alarm as Richard glowered darkly at me. I shot him a sickly-sweet smile before turning to Rose again. “Rose, you’ve got to come with me.” I said urgently.

She stood up, looking concerned. “What’s wrong?”

I was stumped. Brain, come up with something!

“School – Dom – bathroom – purple!” I got out between pants, and Rose looked incredulously at me.


I knew I could count on you, brain. Great job.

“Look, just please come with me.” I huffed. “It’s urgent!”

“Missy, I don’t understand –”

“No time to talk. Just come with me.” I grabbed her arm and dragged her out of the pub, pulling on her as she twisted around to look at her date again.

“Bye, Richard! It was nice getting to know you!” Rose called, and I tugged impatiently on her arm.

“Maybe we can do this another time?” Dean shouted after her, looking crestfallen.

“No can do, buddy-boy!” I yelled. “Rosie’s busy!”

“Missy!” Rose protested, but I shoved her out of the pub. Scorpius came out behind us, pulling his jacket tighter around him in the wind.

“What’s going on?” He asked, feigning confusion. “I saw Missy pulling you out of the pub; is everything okay?”

Without preamble, I grabbed his arm and towed him after me as well. Scorpius yelped in surprise and cursed loudly as he tripped to keep up with my pace.  

“She said something about Dom, bathrooms, school and purple.” Rose said in a confused voice. “I’ve no idea what’s going on.”

“Hurry up, will you?” I asked impatiently. They continued to hold me back, so with an annoyed growl and a flick of my wand, I lifted them both up in the air (ignoring their cries of alarm and protest) and sprinted towards the school.

“ARTEMIS JONES, PUT ME DOWN THIS INSTANT!” Rose shrilled. I grinned and continued running, panting as I shot through the school gates (they had made it so that only students and teachers of the school could get in), ran across the grounds, and sprinted up the stone steps.

“Where in Merlin’s name are you taking us?” Scorpius asked as I thundered down a corridor.

“You know, this qualifies as kidnap.” Rose said in a deeply annoyed voice. “I could write you up for this.”

“Well, it’s a minor abducting another minor; I doubt it really counts as kidnap.” Scorpius reasoned.

“She’s almost an adult.” Rose shot back.

“Yeah, but she was still a minor when the crime was committed, so – HEY!” Scorpius yelled in indignation as I shoved them both unceremoniously in a broom cupboard and locked it from the outside.

“Let us out!” Rose screamed, banging on the door. I took a deep breath and flicked my wand at the door again, imaging some food from the kitchen disappearing and then reappearing inside the closet. A popping sound told me that my spell had worked.

“I swear I’m going to kill you when we get out of this place! What the fuck is wrong with you?!” Rose continued to shriek. “ARTEMIS SELENE JONES! LET US OUT THIS FUCKING INS –”

“Silencio.” I said happily, and her voice fell dead. I beamed proudly as I walked away from the closet.

All in all, not bad for a day’s work.

…why are you looking at me like that? It wasn’t weird at all. What are you talking about? That was perfectly acceptable behavior, thank you very much. What are you, my mother? OF COURSE I HAVE A CONSCIENCE. Okay, you know what? No one asked you anyway. Shut up and read the story.

Yeesh, you could be related to McGonagall.


“Hey, where are Rose and Scorpius?” Dom asked later that afternoon as we all sat in front of the fire.

“No idea.” Al shrugged, putting his blanket around Dom’s shoulders as she shivered. She smiled gratefully at him and pulled it tightly around herself, teeth chattering. Al put his arm around her, rubbing the top of her arm to keep her warm. “Someone add a couple logs to the fire, will you?” He added. Fred flicked his wand at some logs and levitated them into the fire, then wrapped his blanket around Dom as well, sitting on her other side.

“Dom sandwich!” Dom giggled, kissing them both on the cheek. “I love you guys.”

I smiled contentedly.

“But really.” Ella said after a moment. “Where are Rose and Scorpius?”

“I locked them in a broom closet.” I said nonchalantly, taking a sip of my hot chocolate as I gazed at the fire. I looked at my friends and saw that all of them were gaping incredulously at me.

“What?” I asked innocently.

“You locked them in a broom closet?” Jason echoed blankly.

“Yeah.” I shrugged. “It seemed like a pretty good idea at the time.”

They continued to stare at me like I had suddenly sprouted sixteen heads.

“Artemis, are you feeling alright? Like, in the general brain area?” Alex asked in concern, leaning over to feel my forehead for a temperature. I rolled my eyes at her.

“I’m fine, Alex. Seriously.”

“How long have they been in there, love?” Fred asked cautiously. I shrugged and looked at my watch.

“About an hour. Why?”

Another round of wary looks were exchanged. I caught a brief glimpse of Jason twirling his finger around his temple as he mouthed ‘loony’ at Fred, and I threw my pillow at him.

“Erm, when are you planning to let them out?” Ella asked me, and I shrugged.

“Whenever, I guess. I left some food for them, so they should be good for a couple of hours.”

“…you’re so weird.” Jason said, shaking his head and sitting back. “Honestly Artemis, what kind of sane person does something like that?”

“Shut up.” I countered. “They were starting to annoy me, especially Scorpius, so I thought if I locked them in a broom closet together, everything would just…fall in place. I mean, broom closets are supposedly romantic.”

“They’re going to kill you.” Alex said. “You know that, right?”

I shrugged. “Whatever happens, happens. At least I know I didn’t just sit there and listen to Scorpius whine.”

“It was getting rather annoying.” Al admitted, pulling Dom closer against him as she shivered again.

“If this works out, I’ll announce you as a genius in front of the whole school.” Jason muttered, leaning back and pulling Ella onto his lap.

“I’m holding you to that.” I smirked at him, and he lazily stuck his tongue out at me, smiling contentedly as Ella snuggled into the crook of his neck.

There was a short, peaceful silence, which was suddenly shattered as the door opened, and the sound of high-pitched giggling wafted our way.

“Oh, Jamsie, you’re so funny!”

Why do you hate me, Zeus? WHY?

We all swiveled around to look at the source of the noise, and were met by a slightly uncomfortable-looking James and a tall, leggy blonde who seemed to be literally fawning over his every sentence.

Someone, pick up a fork and stab my eyeballs out with it. And then chuck them in the fire. Please.

“Hello.” Jason said awkwardly, looking up at James and what’s-her-face.

“Oh, um, hey guys.” James responded, looking at everyone but me. I stared at the fire, letting Jason slide a comforting arm around my shoulder.

“This is Sarah. Sarah Barlow.” James continued, gesturing at the blonde. She leaped forward with a brilliant smile.

“Hi!” She exclaimed enthusiastically. “I’m James’ new girlfriend, Sarah! I’m sure we’ll be the best of friends! I love James so much!”

This girl is a freaking Barbie! It must hurt to smile all the time like that! I can practically hear her exclamations! I think I am going to be sick!

Merlin, that’s even annoying in my head.

“I’m the President of the James Sirius Potter fan club!” She continued as we all gazed blankly at her. “We have meetings every day of the week, from four to five. You can all come, if you want!”

We stared at her. This cannot be happening to me.

“Sarah, love, why would my friends and family want to go to one of your, er…lovely meetings?” James asked.

She giggled. “Whoops! Sorry. I get really excited about it. I’m his number one fan, you know! I can’t believe we’re dating!”


“Yeah, neither can we.” Ella muttered, and I stifled a grin.

“Er, I’m Al –” Al stood up awkwardly, extending a hand towards her, and she gripped it enthusiastically.

“James’ younger brother!” She finished, smiling brightly. “I know. And you’re Dom, Fred, Artemis, Jason, Ella, and Alexandria.” She rattled off, pointing at each one of us.

“I’m just a little scared right now.” Alex said in a deeply traumatized voice.

“Er – Sarah, do you, um…stalk James’ friends or something?” Fred asked carefully, and she laughed.

“No, sorry. James told me all about you, so I just matched the faces to the names.”

Would you look at that? It seems as though she actually has something resembling half a brain cell. I’m shocked.

“Well.” Dom stood up. “It’s, er…really nice to meet you, Sarah, but Artemis and I have to go free our good friends Rose and Scorpius from the broom cupboard that Artemis unceremoniously locked them in, so we’ll see you soon.” She smiled nervously and started inching towards the door.

I smiled abashedly as James’ and Sarah’s eyes both swiveled to me, shock etched across their features.

“It seemed like a good idea.” I muttered, feeling overly conscious about my messy hair and ratty clothes under James’ gaze. Especially when he’s got Barbie, who looks like she walked right out of a bloody magazine, standing right next to him. Compared to her, I’m the grimy stuff you find on the undersides of your shoes.

Gee, what a confidence booster.

“Well, have fun! I have to go anyway; we’ve got a meeting in ten minutes. Are you sure you don’t want to come, Jamie?” She cooed at him.

I quite literally just gagged.

“I think I’ll pass.” He laughed.

“Okay, bye!” She kissed him enthusiastically on the mouth, and something in my stomach rolled. I think it may have been a mixture of jealousy and disgust. “I’ll see you soon, everyone!” With an energy-filled wave to the rest of us, she bounced out the door.

There was a loud, awkward silence as the door slammed shut, during which we all gazed uncomfortably at each other.

“So, she’s a keeper!” I announced sarcastically, immediately regretting my decision to open my fat mouth and talk.

James shot me a scathing glare and swept up to his room. There was a distinct slamming noise and I winced as I sat slowly down.

“He’s never glared at me before.” I whispered, looking down at my shaking hands. Jason put a tentative hand on my shoulder, and I looked up at him. “I’ve never seen him look so…so hateful.” I took a shuddering breath and closed my eyes against the tears, which went ahead and dripped down my face anyway.

“I’m sorry, love.” Jason whispered, pulling me onto his lap so that I could cry into his shoulder. Ella’s hand reached out to stroke my curls, and I sobbed, wishing that the tears could wash away the image of James’ glare out of my mind.

But it was burned there forever, a token of my mistake.

What have I done?


There’s no point in crying over spilt milk.

But sometimes crying is nice. It washes everything away for a little while. And if you’ve got your friends there to hug you through it – well, you’ll be better in no time. It’s a common fact: friends + hugging + crying = instant relief.

“Okay, so I’ll open up the door and quickly put a shield charm around us –” I rambled as I walked down the hallway with Dom and Al. We were going on our merry way to fetch Rose and Scorpius from the broom closet, a deed that is fraught with peril and danger from all angles.

No, really. Not even Voldemort can compare to the wrath of Rose scorned.

“Artemis.” Dom interrupted, looking up at me with probing eyes. “Are you alright?”

“I’m fine.” I said calmly. “I don’t want to talk about it.”

“Are you –” Al started, looking concerned.

I don’t want to talk about it.” I repeated. “Please.” I added.

“Okay.” Dom said, patting me on the arm a bit. I turned around and smiled at her.

“I’m doing the right thing. I’m really fine, promise.” I assured her, and she smiled slowly back.

I took a deep breath and cracked my knuckles as I faced the closet door. Who knew what I was going to be faced with on the other side. This might be my last breath.

Good-bye, life.

“Alright, let’s do this thing.” I announced, and I reached forward, firmly grasped the handle (Al muttered a quick prayer to Merlin, God, and every other deity he had ever heard of), and pulled the door open.

Dom sucked in a sharp breath, my mouth fell open, and Al’s eyes literally popped out of their sockets.

What were Rose and Scorpius doing, you may ask? Why, they were snogging as though their lives depended on it.

Rose was pressed back against the wall, her arms wound tightly around Scorpius’ neck, one hand massaging through his hair and the other holding the back of his head securely to her face. Her legs were wrapped around his waist, and he seemed to be holding her up from the sheer force of his body pressed against hers. One of his hands was clutching her thigh, and the other was at the skin of her back under her shirt, slowly moving upwards. By the looks of them (I swear I saw about four visible hickeys on Rose’s neck), they had been going at it for quite a while.

I just lost nights of sleep.

“Well, well, well.” I managed to say in a mocking voice, raising my eyebrow and smirking as they jumped in surprise, then hastily pushed away from each other, faces red and eyes wide. “What do we have here?”

Rose blushed deeply, fixing her clothes and avoiding Al’s gaze. “Erm – nothing.”

“Sure.” I said, then grinned at them. They both looked immensely relieved upon noticing that Al and Dom, though shocked, were also smiling. “So, does this mean you’re together now?” I asked eagerly.

“Yeah.” Scorpius sent Rose a small smile, and she blushed again.

“Hurt her and you’re dead.” Al stated flatly, then with a short, fleeting grin, he turned around to march away.

“That’s his way of saying he approves.” Dom assured them, upon seeing their nervous expressions.

“And that he’s been deeply disturbed by your blatant display of raging teenager hormones and is now going to wash his eyes out with soap.” I added.

“We know him so well.” Dom smiled affectionately, and we high-fived.

I love my best friend.

“So, Artemis, I was totally set on ripping out your hair, one strand at a time, for locking us in here…” Rose started, smiling in a sickly sweet sort of way. I gulped and took a hasty step back. “But, I think I’ll let you slide just this once.” She finished, and I literally slumped in relief.

“I get to live another day!” I cried jubilantly, doing a quick happy dance.

“Please, Artemis.” Dom put her hand on my shoulder to stop me. “I’m already traumatized by watching my baby cousin get groped against a wall; please don’t make it worse for me.”

Rose’s face was bright red. “Shut up, Dom.” She muttered.

“Yeah?” I shot back, hands on my hips. Quick, brain, snappy retort! “Well, whatever!”

My brain is as sharp as a knife. I really don’t know how I can manage to come up with such brilliancy.

“Good one, Artemis.” Scorpius deadpanned.

“I wouldn’t be talking, Mr. ‘oh, please, Artemis, help me’ –mmph!” I cried indignantly as he quickly covered up my mouth with his hand. Rose and Dom stood there, hands on their hips and eyebrows raised. Scorpius shot them an innocent smile, which, judging by their skeptical expressions, neither of them bought.

I poked him on the shoulder, eyes angry, and pointed to my mouth. He quickly let it go, and I wiped my lips off with as much dignity as I could muster.

“I would prefer if you didn’t slap your hands – which were Merlin-knows-where on Rose’s body – on my mouth, thank you very much.” I said waspishly. Scorpius grinned, and Rose blushed again.

“So, what did we miss?” Rose asked Dom.

“Oh, nothing much!” I enthused. “We just met James’ new girlfriend. She’s a keeper!”

James’ glare swam to the front of my mind, and with an angry internal snarl, I shoved it away.

“Judging by the amount of sarcasm in your tone, she is not a keeper.” Rose guessed.

“She’s a freaking Barbie doll.” Dom moaned, and I grinned. I knew that girl was my best friend for a reason! Great minds think alike, I tell you.

“She can’t be that bad.” Scorpius consoled.

“No, she talks like this!” I exclaimed, hitching a large, bright, fake smile onto my face. “Hi! My name is Sarah Barlow! I’m sure we will be the best of friends! I’m the president of the James Sirius Potter fan club! Want to come, Jamie?”

“She doesn’t. Tell me this isn’t true!” Rose cried dramatically, turning to Dom.

“It must hurt to smile that much.” Dom mused, and Rose slapped her forehead as her fears were confirmed.

“That’s what I thought, too!” I exclaimed.

“Oh my, god, right?!” Dom enthused, turning to me with wide eyes. “Like, does she practice in front of a mirror, or what?”

“I bet she’s put a permanent sticking charm on her face!” I realized, eyes wide as well. “That makes so much sense!”

“You’re right!”

“I mean, how else could she smile so bloody much?”

We stood there for a minute, eyes wide as we gazed at each other.

“We are geniuses.” Dom declared, looking immensely proud.

“Hells yeah!” I said. “Sherlock Holmes, move over, there are two new sheriffs in town and we are the incarnations of perception!”

We burst out laughing, ignoring the way that Rose and Scorpius looked as they inched slowly away from us.

No worries, guys. Craziness isn’t contagious, promise. 

heyooo XD
so, i'm super-uper-UPER proud of myself for getting this thing out to you guys ♥
you totally deserve it, though - thank you sosososososo much for the reviews!
it's like...whoa! like, seriously? over 500 reviews?! I AM BLOWN AWAY.
♥♥♥♥ youuuss :D

so, completely off topic, but you know that little dialogue box that pops up after you click a mature-rated story and asks you if you're mature enough to read this story?
yeah, well, i laugh at the one that pops up and asks me if i'm old enough to read my own story.
i literally sit there and mwah-ha-ha at it, because, HONESTLY?! yeah, i think i'm old enough to read the story, you stupid box - i freaking wrote the damned thing!
it amuses me.
...don't tell me i'm the only one who does that? i'm not, am i?

okayy, now that the question of my sanity is out of the way...
i'm no longer allowed to ask you guys questions, sadly. 
feedback would still be lovely, though!
favorite quotes? predictions? proclamations of anger?
i want it all!

that's it for noww ♥

i love you guysies :D

(ps i am almost a gansta. i even have a rap!
fo-shizzle, do-drizzle, s-DAWG is in the house!'m still working on it. 
but it's going to be the shizzle. 

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