In my mind, I searched for a place to go, somewhere I would be able to sleep for the rest of the night. The next day, I would be going to be visiting the Weasleys anyway; my parents thought I was visiting the Malfoys. Knowing that made the harsh reality of being thrown out not as bad. After I was done visiting the Weasleys, I would be traveling to Hogwarts, where I was in Hufflepuff, thought I had been seriously considered for Gryffindor. Unlike most people at school, I had at least one friend in each house. Most people would chastise me for being friends with Slytherins, but after you get past the arrogance and look deeper, they can even surprise you. Of course, there were still some Slytherins whom I despised with all my heart; one of them was Draco Malfoy. He was an arrogant prick with white-blonde hair and his trademark sneer always plastered on his face.
He was always harassing people whom he deemed unworthy of his company and jinxing whomever he felt like, whenever he felt like it. What pissed me off the most was his hatred for Harry Potter. Harry Potter was the savior of the world from the vicious Lord Voldemort, and I knew that although I had grown up being taught to hate Harry Potter. My parents had never met the famous Boy-Who-Lived and had not heard him stand up for what he believed in. He was one of my best friends, along with Ron Weasley and Hermione Granger, and I was lucky to have them.
As the years progressed, I had been a part of many of their schemes and had even once dated Ron's older brother, Fred, before he passed away. The reason I didn't tell them wasn't because I was ashamed; it was because I was afraid of what my parents would say when they found out I was helping the famous Harry Potter.
The people who ran the Hogwarts administration had decided that everyone who had missed the previous year due to hiding or not being allowed to go would be able to re-take it. It was exciting knowing that my years as a Hogwarts student weren't over. Since the Battle of Hogwarts, I had had loads of time to think about things. It made me feel ashamed of my parents, realizing that I couldn't tell them about my true friends. And, since I just got disowned, I guess it wouldn't have mattered if I had told the Ministry and the Order about my parents’ involvement. I had never told anyone about my parents’ part in the war; they hadn’t even fought in the actual last battle.
The reason they had disowned me was that I told them who I was friends with. What kind of parents would do such a thing? Why would they judge me for the people I associate myself with? It was probably because they still were loyal to their damn master, Lord Sodding Voldemort!
"Ugh!" I cried; I managed to Apparate even though my heart had shattered.
I wound up in front of the Weasley Clan Burrow and could see through the window; I was watching Mrs. Weasley make food. It looked as if she was humming while she worked and looked happy even though she lived in such a run-down house. It was nice seeing her again; seeing her made the tears stream faster out of my eyes as I ran up to the door and knocked twice. She opened the door, and I saw she had her red hair up in a bun and was wearing a pink flower apron. As soon as she saw me, she pulled me into a hug, and I sobbed over her shoulder. I was babbling about what had happened, and it probably seemed like a bunch of mush because I was hysterical.
"It's O.K., honey,” Molly Weasley murmured into my blonde straight hair.
She walked me into the house and brought me over to the tattered couch and sat me down. After she waited for me to calm down, she told me to tell her what happened.
"Well, you see, I had never actually, um, told my parents that I was friends with Ron and Harry and Hermione,” I admitted, turning red, and Mrs. Weasley gasped. "I had a good reason, though, which I will elaborate on once I meet with the Order. Tonight, I told my parents about my friendship with them and they kind of, disowned me. So, I thought that I would come here a day early, if that's fine with you."
"Why would they disown you?" She asked, clearly abashed.
"They. were. supporters. of. Voldemort,” I conceded, lowering my eyes.
"What?" she cried.
"Yeah. I didn't want them to go to Azkaban, so I didn't tell anyone. All I did was tell Ron, Hermione, and Harry that they had to not tell anyone about my part in their adventures. I never told them about the real, honest reason. Since I am no longer a family member of theirs," I gulped, feeling a tear swim down my cheek. "I thought I would feel better telling everyone now."
"WHAT?" I heard a voice shout from behind me. I turned around to see Ron Weasley looking as if he had just gotten out of bed; his hair looked clearly disheveled. He was wearing a T-shirt promoting the Chudley Cannons and plaid sleep pants. His face had turned red, and his eyes were wide with shock. At seeing him, I got up and ran out of the Burrow. It made my heart ache to have Ron find out in such a way. I had been planning to tell the gang when they were all together, and tell them the whole story which would make it seem not as horrible as it already was. I also didn't want him to see me cry; I was supposed to be the tough one - the one who said, "Crying is for wimps!" I wasn't supposed to be the cry baby who had lied to her friends about a huge part of her life.
When I came to a large field filled with grass and a few sparse trees, I collapsed to the ground and the tears fled. I lay backwards and stared upward at the mass of stars that filled the sky. Even though I had been in Astronomy throughout the necessary years at Hogwarts, I still couldn't really notice any constellations, yet the starry night sky still looked as beautiful to me. With my wrist, I wiped off the tears still lingered on my cheek and jaw.
Laying there helped me think about why I hadn't ever told my friends before, and I realized it was because I was so ashamed of my parents and my heritage that I didn't want to admit I was anything like that or related to people like that. I mean, we were fighting people who thought like that and reacted because of that, right? It would have looked extremely bad if I had told them the truth. By doing that, it would mean that I had something in common with that pureblood maniac Draco Malfoy, which I didn't feel like admitting anytime soon. I could soon feel the wet grass through my Weird Sisters T-shirt, so I sat up and started to get off the ground. Once I was up, I decided to face my fears and go back to the Burrow, yet I couldn't even take a step because something was blocking my path.
Ron Weasley was standing there, panting, short of breath. His face was red, and the anger I saw in his eyes earlier had diminished. It looked as if his mind was thinking overtime, and that he was trying with all of his might to not scream at me, which I was extremely grateful for.
"'Ello,” I muttered, feeling the blush creep across my cheek bones.
"Hello. Sit down; we need to talk,” he replied, sitting on the floor. I quickly followed and sat down beside him, scared of what was to come.
"Demi, why the bloody hell didn't you tell us? I mean, we are your best mates, or at least I think we are,” he wondered a look of hurt came onto his face.
"You are my best mates! That's why I didn't want to tell you three! I didn't want you to think less of me. It was why I was fighting so hard against those Death Eaters; I am ashamed of my parents and their ideals. I couldn't tell you three; then you guys would have disowned me as a friend, just like my dad tonight,” I conceded looking down at my feet.
"We never would have disowned you because of who your parents are; it's not like you could have chosen who they were in the first place! You know, you are one of my best friends and I would never do such a thing to you." He smiled, pulling me into a hug. That was it; I started to bawl my eyes out on his shoulder as he patted my back awkwardly. Since Fred died, Ron had been extremely uncomfortable with tears. It must have also been even more uncomfortable since he had never seen me cry before. When my friends had died during the battle, I had gone into a numb state and this was as if I was finally letting it all out. I was crying for Tonks, Lupin, Fred, Dobby, Dumbledore, Sirius - I was crying for everyone who had died in the past three years. My tear ducts had been rusted shut since our fourth year when Cedric Diggory died, and I had felt that I needed to be strong for my friends – that was crushed now.
"Ron?" I asked after composing myself.
"Yeah?" he responded.
"Thank you so much for this. Please don't tell the others till I'm ready though, especially about me crying. Sorry about your shirt." I cracked a smile as he got up and put his arm over my shoulder, and we headed back toward the Burrow. When we got to the door, I saw that Ginny was inside at the table, eating dinner. I quickly wiped the tears off of my face and entered.
Suddenly we heard a CRACK from the outside and a knock on the door. Ginny ran up to the door and opened it; I could tell it was Harry because of the smile that had become evident on her face. It was pathetic, but it wasn't my place to judge. Actually, I would judge all I wanted. She wasn't good enough for him; I mean, he was the Boy-Who-Freaking-Lived! Well, I never really, honestly told him how I felt, and I'd rather it remained that way. I could always find someone else.
My eyes dropped as I went and gathered my stuff and went to where I would be sleeping, on the couch. Then I pulled my pajamas out of the suitcase and headed toward the bathroom, past the welcoming party, stone-faced. I was forbidding myself from showing any emotion; just the hint of emotion would blow my cover.
"Hey, Demi!" I heard Harry call from behind me.
"Dem, where are you going?" Ron called also.
"What's wrong with her?" Harry wondered, looking at Ron cluelessly.
"She probably just needs to get changed and didn't hear you,” Ginny interjected. Why did she always need to but into the conversations? I got inside the bathroom and prevented my tear ducts from betraying me with a towel; I started to silently pull on a black tank top and rainbow checkered shorts. I pulled my blonde hair back into a pony tail and hunched over the sink, silently fuming. In life, it seemed as if nothing ever went my way. It wasn't as if I had many boyfriends, either. During school, I had had about three, and none of them worked out. And now, I would never know whether Harry felt the same way, deep down inside. He probably didn't, otherwise he wouldn't be with her.
As the anger subsided, I took a hankie and wiped off my face from the dried up tears and washed off the make-up that had dripped down my cheeks. I sat on the covered toilet for a minute, trying to wait for the redness in my eyes to go down a notch. It seemed as if they would permanently stay red forever and never turn back to their original brown. Life was so un-freaking-fair! Why did everyone in my circle of friends get what they wanted besides me?
A knock was heard on the loo door. I didn't feel like answering, so I just sat there and waited for the person to leave. Rather than leave, the person knocked every two seconds for a minute. It was getting so annoying it forced me to finally open the wooden door and look outside. Ginny was standing there with an uncomfortable smile on her face. Ginny and I weren't the best of mates, but I did put up with her all these years. She wasn't a complete troll, after all. It wasn't her fault that Harry had fallen in love with her, unless she had made him drink a love potion, of course. I attempted to smile back, but just the sight of her made my smile falter.
"'Ello Ginny." I attempted being friendly, but it came out more of a mumble.
"Demi, come outside. We won't bite, promise. Well, I know that I won't bite. No promises about the guys,” she said, chuckling at her attempt at humor.
"Fine, I just got done getting ready for bed, anyway; I don't think the loo would be the best place to sleep." I chuckled, gathering my other clothes and walking through the door. Instead of the couch being empty, both blokes were sitting there, looking quite serious. My smile once again faltered, and I sat in the chair across from them, staring up at the dusty ceiling. It was an awkward silence for a while, with all of us just sitting there, Ginny plopped herself down next to Harry. I could feel their eyes staring at me, yet I couldn't bring myself to look back.
It was Harry who broke the silence. "Demi, what's the matter?" he wondered, his voice filled with concern.
"I have no clue what you are talking about,” I replied, staring into his eyes with my face made of stone.
"Considering we heard you growling in the bathroom, I think something's wrong,” he explained. I thought I had been fuming silently. "We've known you for eight years; why can't you tell us?"
"Ron knows, so I have told one of you. Now, if you please can get up off of where I will be sleeping tonight, it would be greatly appreciated."
"Ron knows?" Harry questioned looking at Ron with a feeling of hurt and astonishment. Harry got up off of the couch and went toward the steps leading to Ron's bedroom, where they probably would talk about what had just happened. Ron shot me a tight smile as he followed Harry and Ginny got up off of the couch and moved to the chair next to it. She stared at me intently as I got up from the chair I had been sitting in and moved over to the tattered couch. I picked up the blankets that Mrs. Weasley had previously set on the bed and rested them on my lap. After that, I rested my body on the couch and rested my head on the pillow, trying not to look at Ginny.
Her red hair was pulled behind her ears, and her brown eyes looked as if they were trying to read into my soul. It was terribly uncomfortable, yet I didn't want to show my feelings on my face like an open book. I had been told that all my emotions became plastered on my face by my parents and close friends, yet you had to know me forever to actually tap into these emotions.
"Demitria, I think I know what the matter is,” Ginny admitted, breaking the silence. I looked up at her, and she had a tiny smile on her face. We made eye contact for a minute before I had the courage to speak without my voice giving me away.
"And what would that be?" I wondered intrigued at what her answer was going to be. I raised my eyebrow as a grin came onto her face.
"You like Ron,” she said calmly. I stared at her for a second and burst out laughing. It was too hysterical and I was wondering what the bloody hell gave her this idea. Ron was like an older brother to me; there was no way that I thought of him in that way.
"What gave you this idea?" I asked, still hysterically laughing. My eyes were tearing up with the force of my laugh, and she looked at me as if I had three heads. Her conclusion was really funny, and her face made it even funnier. I sat up from resting position and looked at her in the eye. Wait. I think she was actually serious. "Wait. You're serious. You think I like....Oh No! No! No! No!"
"Are you sure? I mean, you and Harry are really close, but instead of telling him, you told Ron. And I saw Ron smile at you before he left."
"No, it's nothing like that. Ron was here when I arrived, and I was pretty messed up, and he was there to console me and it was really nice. He's like a brother to me, not a boyfriend type. I mean, he's more of Hermione's type."
"Then, is it Harry?" she asked and her eyes gave away that she was getting paranoid about it and over-protective.
It took me but a second to reply. "No, I think of him the same way I think of Ron. He was just aggravating me by being so concerned. I mean, I can take care of myself, ya know?"
"Alright, but tomorrow we are all talking about it. When Hermione gets here, we'll all sit at the table and talk." She promised as she gave my shoulder a squeeze and walked up to the steps leading to the landing where her room was located. Were my emotions that easy to figure out?
The couch was oddly comfortable, and I was soon left to deal with my thoughts. It hurt so badly to have to be best mates with Harry and have him be taken. I was deeply in love with him; there was no way I was going to tell him and ruin our friendship, though. He meant too much to be to jeopardize it. Seeing him with Ginny made my heart ache. My heart was always in pain, and there had never been a time when it had been filled with happiness. I had always been somewhat of a dark character, yet I would always try to laugh through it. Now, it seemed as if the laughter had escaped from my heart and I was left with only tears.
There had been times where I had expected Harry to kiss me, though. He hadn't been so hopeless. Maybe he had thought along the same lines as I did, with the whole lost friendship thing. Thinking like that, though, was a lost cause. He was in love with Ginny, and my hopeless optimism was driving me into a pit of insanity. He would never be mine! Why couldn't I get that through my think skull? There would never be a Harry and Demi, only a Harry and Ginny. She had tried to be nice earlier, so I guess she wasn't the worst person in the world; I should attempt to be nice to her. It wasn't my fault I was a jealous old slag and would end up old, alone, and with about twenty cats. One day, I would find the person for me even they were totally outside of my comfort zone.
I promised myself that, this year, I would date as many people as possible in order to find the perfect bloke for me, even if in the end it would be Harry coming to his senses. It would be weird being in a school year with a bunch of younger kids, a lot more new blokes to date. Maybe I would find someone who I would spend the rest of my life with, but that was just my hopeless optimism shining through.
"Demi?" a voice called out to me in the dark.
"What do you want, Harry? It's like eleven o'clock, and I would like to get some sleep,” I responded, sounding as if I had just woken up.
"Sit up. I want to talk with you."
"Ugh! I was sleeping, you bloody git!"
"I honestly don't care. We need to talk."
"Well, I honestly don't feel like talking."
"Oh, well. Move over," he ordered as he light the candles that were in the room with his wand.
"Fine,” I muttered, as I sat up and rubbed my eyes, which hurt from the intrusion of the light. Why did he have to be the one to come down, anyway? Why not Ron? Or Ginny again? He was the last person I wanted to see. After all, he was basically the reason I was disowned from my family.
"Ron told me you never told your parents you were friends with us. How could you do that? We've known each other for seven years!"
"Your point is? You don't know my parents, so you wouldn't get it."
"Then help me understand!"
"They disowned me."
"What do you mean, they disowned you?"
"I was kicked out; removed from the family; thrown to the curb."
"Why would they do that?"
"It's all your fault!"
"How is it my fault?" he questioned, looking clearly appalled at my last statement. He stared into my eyes, and I fought the urge to punch him and kiss him at the same time.
"I told them I was friends with you; they disowned me. Ta da, the end,” I said.
"Why would they do that? Not to sound conceited or anything, but most people would want their children to be friends with me."
"That did sound conceited, and they were supporters of Voldemort, you git. I couldn't tell you guys before, because they were my parents, but now that I am disowned I guess it wouldn't be so bad to see them go to sodding Azkaban, where they belong. Merlin's Beard, I hate them!"
"But-But-But how could we not know about them?" he stuttered, taken aback.
"They were more like benefactors. They'd rather hang out behind the scenes than out there fighting and risk being arrested," I explained, feeling hatred consume me. Hatred at him for being the reason my parents disowned me; hatred at my parents for disowning me and being supporters of the most evil wizard since Grindelwald, possibly of all time; and hatred at myself for being in such situations as I was now and not telling the authorities about my parents. Well, no kid wants to see their parents get arrested. There were sometimes when I truly hated their guts, yet I would never have wanted to see the effects of a Dementor on them.
"Still, how didn't we hear about them?"
"It's not something I normally broadcast to the world."
"You shouldn't have kept it from us!"
"You don't think I know this? I am totally aware that I should have told you all! I was just really scared that you would have not wanted to be my friends after I told you!"
"Why would we have stopped being your friends?"
"You would have thought I was a spy or something."
"Maybe so, but we would have trusted you because you told us!"
"I'm sorry," I apologized as I turned away and looked at my feet. It seemed as if he was done talking with me so he gave me a hug and left up to Ron's room where Ron was probably awaiting the full story of what happened.
In the morning, the sun streamed through the windows and it awoke me suddenly. The hustle and bustle of a morning at the Weasley house also awoke me. I rubbed the sleep from my eyes and sat up. A yawn escaped from my mouth as I stretched out my legs and arms. From the kitchen, I could smell eggs and bacon cooking, which made me moan in delight. Getting up from the couch, I wandered into the kitchen to find Mrs. Weasley placing plates filled with food onto the table.
Sitting down on the chair by the table, she smiled at me; I returned the smile and started to eat the breakfast laid in front of me. It was delicious, as was expected at the Weasley house. Soon after I had started eating, I heard the commotion of Ron and Harry clambering down the stairs. Ginny soon followed suit, and they accompanied me at the table. We sat there, eating in silence, which was unusual for any time at the Weasley's. Since the big Battle of Hogwarts, Mrs. Weasley hadn't been her normal cheerful self. Having a child die before their parent was not something easy, after all. After eating a bit of toast, Mrs. Weasley quickly walked up to her room and mumbled something about cleaning.
"I want you out of this house...now," Ginny finally piped up, glaring at me and pointing toward the door. My face revealed the fact that I was in utter and complete shock. I had never seen Ginny so peeved before, nor had I seen her be so disrespectful.
"What?" I cried, pushing the chair back a little as if I was going to get up.
"You heard me, you little spy. This entire time, you've probably been passing information to the Death Eaters and faking being our friend. Leave." She once again pointed toward the door exiting the Burrow. I looked around helplessly toward the other members of the Weasley Clan present at breakfast, and they all looked shocked at Ginny's sudden outburst - yet there was no one coming to my rescue. They were all looking down at their plates and I could feel that they all silently agreed with her statement. While they had been trying to console me the night before, they had really been thinking the worst.
"If that's how you all feel, then I guess I will be going. I'll be out in a minute. I just have to gather my things." I sighed as I felt a tear well up in my eye. My face was like stone, not wanting to show them how hurt I had been on the inside. It was a total feeling of betrayal that I couldn't ever fathom having felt before. Getting up from the chair, I picked out a blue sundress and white sandals and changed in the loo. After putting on an extra amount of makeup to flaunt my obvious beauty in their faces, I gracefully walked out the loo and put my changed clothes into the suitcase and walked toward the door. I glanced over my shoulder to see that no one at the table had moved more than an inch; they were determined not to meet my eyes or the hurt expression I now wore.
"Thank you all for your wonderful hospitality. If you need me, I guess I will be on the streets fighting for survival; either that or the Leaky Cauldron. I doubt you'd need me, since you're throwing me out to the dogs in my time of need; if you think so low of me that I would spy on you, then I guess I'd rather be with people who accept me and would rather keep me as a friend than think the absolute worst of me. Thank you all for ruining my morning! Good day, and tell Mrs. Weasley I say thank you," I retorted turning toward the door and exiting. Suddenly, there was a huge CRACK and Hermione appeared in front of me.
In order to keep her from seeing my tears, I stalked right past her and quickly Apparated to the Leaky Cauldron. There, I could drown myself in Ogden's Old Firewhiskey and cry myself to sleep. There, no one would see the hurt in my eyes and the feeling of betrayal I had felt from both my best mates and my parents. It seemed that the ache in my heart would never stop hurting, that it would cripple me for all eternity. Of course, things had to get worse before they got better, but when was it going to get better, and how could it get any worse?
Arriving at the Leaky Cauldron, I sat at the bar and smiled as Tom gave me some Firewhiskey; I had about four glasses before I heard a cough behind me. Even though it was just a cough, I could recognize that vile tone anywhere. That cough was the cough of one hated Slytherin - one who had attempted to kill the best Headmaster in Hogwarts history, in my opinion, at least. It was the cough of Draco Malfoy.