A/N: Eeek, this is exciting. I'm still not over the fact that I'm actually writing second chapters of things. Anywho, I do hope you enjoy this - it's a bit taking the piss, and I haven't edited it, but hopefully it's not too bad. And reviews are lovely, you know.
Two years, ten months and 28 days later
"Come on, he's a complete git - and face it, he wasn't even that pretty," said Ellie, probably trying to make me feel better. It didn't, funnily enough. Mainly because he was pretty, and the fact that he was a git didn't mean that it hurt any less that he had dumped me. I mean, honestly, why would he dump me, Lily Potter? It was ridiculous.
"Yes he was," I sniffled, blowing my nose on a man-sized hankie. Do you know how hard it was to find a man-sized pink handkerchief? "It wasn't like I'd done anything wrong - I thought I was being a good girlfriend. Better than Arabella Hatchett, anyway. Did you know that Jess in Hufflepuff saw her flirting with Jack behind the greenhouses last Wednesday? I didn't flirt with anyone! I was a good girlfriend." I'm only slightly ashamed to say that I degenerated back into mumbly sobs after that. You would too, if your first ever boyfriend had dumped you days before Valentine's Day.
The boy in question, Cameron MacDonald, was a Gryffindor in our year, and although he wasn't the most gorgeous person ever to grace the corridors of Hogwarts, he was certainly good-looking and quite nice (well, used to be). I'd been his girlfriend for two months, four days and about thirty-five minutes when he decided I wasn't good enough for him. And it was currently two hours after that.
I had gotten Ellie to scout out the common room about fifteen minutes ago, and he seemed to be coping with ruining my life perfectly fine. Of course he would be. Joking with his friends, smiling, chewing on a sugar quill...if I hadn't been crying so much, I would hex him all the way into next year! As it was, my face was far too red and puffy for that.
"Now I don't even have a Valentine," I mourned after I had recovered a bit. Anna rolled her eyes (see what sort of friends I have to put up with?) and gave me a hug.
"I don't either -we can have fun on Saturday, instead of all that boring stuff couples are forced to do. A proper girls' day in, or we could go to Hogsmeade and explore the Shrieking Shack." Anna didn't want a boyfriend - she was one of those feminist types that didn't think girls needed a boyfriend. It wasn't like she wouldn't get one if she tried, either - blonde hair, a bit chubby, but even I'll admit that her smile was her strong point. Dazzling, slightly crooked teeth made you happy just looking at them. Which is pretty strange, but it was a winner with the entire population of Hogwarts. Even the teachers liked her.
Okay, so maybe that was something to do with the fact that she did her homework most of the time.
But that's not the point. No matter how lovely Anna was, she wouldn't be as much fun as spending the day with a boyfriend. Spending V-day with friends was something for Second Years to do.
I had to say yes, though, otherwise I'd hurt her feelings and it wasn't her fault that Cameron had been a double git and not bothered to at least spend Valentine's Day with me.
As I accepted that my hankie, no matter how large, was no longer useful for wiping away tears, I decided that I would get the git back. I was Lily Potter! Who did he think he was? I would...I would... I had no idea what I was going to do. But it wouldn't be moping about him, no sir! Well, not for much longer, anyway.
"I know!" I jumped slightly at the exclamation, which was far too loud for such an enclosed space. Unsurprisingly it was Nat who had caused us such discomfort; that was what she did. I'm sure she didn't mean it, mind - the discomfort bit. She was just a bit impulsive and odd. In a good way. Sort of.
"Know what?" I asked, slightly scared. It was a logical reaction to be slightly scared when Natalie decided she knew something.
"You just need to show him up - show him that you can get a better boyfriend."
"Hold up, when did I say I was ready for dating anyone else? Or that I wanted to show him up?" Okay, so I did want to show him up. But I hadn't told Natalie that.
"Because that's who you are. It's what you do. Anywho, so this is what we're gonna--"
"Wait!" I said again, because she hadn't paid any attention to what I had said. "What if I don't want to date someone else? It would just look insensitive and horrible and he was my first boyfriend." We'd only been on three dates, and alright, so he'd kissed me twice and both times I decided it actually wasn't all that fun (rather wet), but I had the right to call him my first (ex-)boyfriend, and so I would.
Nat looked at me long and hard, her forehead creasing slightly. It was terrifying. "But I... I don't know how to put this, Lily. I think people would be more surprised if you didn't take action and get him back."
Had she just called me...what had she just called me? I dismissed it, and went back to trying to make her understand that I didn't want another boyfriend so soon. "Well, then let's surprise them! I mean, I do want to get him back - he dumped me before Valentine's Day - but with something...better. I just don't know what yet."
And that is how my sobbing/moping session turned into a plot-MacDonald's-doom session. I'm not responsible for what happened. I'm not even responsible for the part I played. Mainly because our complicated and detailed plans were never actually carried out.
Someone got in the way.
Unbeknownst to me, there was someone having a plot-Lily's-doom session at roughly the same time. Perhaps he didn't call it that, but that was what it was. And I didn't recognise it at all when it slapped me in the face like a dead fish. But, you know, that's not my fault either. Why would it be?
When I went down to dinner, I faced a larger problem than the fact I was now boyfriendless. My brother James. Look, I'll say this: Albus's name is funny, but at least he treats me decently. Apart from the time he pulled a chunk of my hair out and the time he put itching powder in my best robes for Mr. Dean's wedding, but we all try and forget about that.
James, however, is a complete git. He thinks that being the oldest also makes him the best (untrue; as the youngest, I am obviously the favourite child) and makes me life hell. He was the one that snuck a gnome inside and put him in my room. He was the one that somehow managed to get hold of a niffler and put him in my room. In fact, he's put frogs, worms, sand and melted toffee in my room. It's a favourite tactic of his. He wouldn't even let me play Quidditch at home until Dad got mad and told him he would take away his broom if he didn't let me.
And there he was, waiting at the table to make fun of me as soon as I sat down. "Oi, Lily, I hear MacDonald's come to his senses - what did he realise? That you were so short he had to kneel to kiss you?"
I turned red - it wasn't true he had to kneel, but I was short for my age. James was taller. Of course.
"No," I forced out. "It's none of your business." Anna arrived at that moment and glared at him. He sneered back.
"Well, have fun on Valentine's Day, my dear sis - I've heard MacDonald's already got a date and he's going to Puddifoot's." I turned redder, though Anna whispered hastily that James was lying, and I knew for a fact that Cameron wouldn't set foot in Puddifoot's if someone paid him.
"Piss off," I muttered, glad the food had appeared. If he was eating, he wouldn't have as much of an opportunity to tease me.
Halfway through the meal Albus made an appearance, his glasses askew and wearing odd socks. He'd fallen asleep while doing Astronomy homework again.
"Lily!" he greeted, and I didn't answer in case he took the same line as James about the earlier events of the day. "D'you need me to go test out some new hexes I found on someone? I'm more than willing...we just need to get Professor Longbottom out of the way, 'cause he probably wouldn't approve. I could ambush him on the way to his dorm," he suggested cheerfully. "And if they don't work, then I can always fall back on a good ol' Bat Bogey."
"Not yet," I said, wanting to jump up and hug him. "I'm not rejecting your offer by any means, but I'll see what I can do myself, first."
"Well, holler if you need me," he said as he sat down, and he was lost as soon as he got what looked like half a chicken on his plate.
Cameron was at the table too, of course - the opposite end, though, and I didn't acknowledge his presence. He had said he wanted to be friends...but doesn't everyone say that? It's a load of hippogriff dung, in my opinion.
By the time I went to bed, I still hadn't figured out how I could get back at MacDonald. Nat was still convinced I should get someone to go to Hogsmeade with me that weekend, but I was sure there was a better way than that. Albus's offer was tempting, but that would just be family members doing the dirty work for me. And if I wanted that, I could get a lot more family members than just Al.
While I fell asleep plotting unsuccessfully, Albus was muttering incantations by the light of a candle and a certain Ravenclaw boy was grinning as he drifted off. At least, I'm pretty certain he was grinning - he's that kind of person.
Write a Review You're a Star: Wanted: Cameron MacDonald, preferably hexed.