how about we just ignore the stupid quote on this chapter image?
Time moves on. Even when you feel as though all the life has been sucked out of you, move on it does.
It moves in fragments, little bits and pieces of emptiness contrasted with a shred of important news. It might have been hours, days, weeks, maybe be even months since that last moment with James.
I don’t know how long it’s been. It all feels the same to me. It feels like nothing.
I don’t feel a thing. I don’t feel the time moving around me. All I can think of is the numb thumping of my heart, not really alive, but beating nonetheless.
I had my last Artemis and James vision that night. It flickered and died in about three seconds.
I felt like I was dying right along with it.
He’s given up on me. Given me up as a bad job. But who am I to blame him? How can I keep expecting him to fight for me when even I’ve given up on myself? It is, after all, what I’ve been working towards this whole time.
My biggest mistake. There is nothing more in this world that I regret more than that. How could I have been so stupid?
I was afraid of love, afraid of something new, something alien to me. Afraid of walking into uncharted territories. Afraid of something that was completely out of my control.
But this…this is a hundred times worse than that. I feel like my breath has been ripped right out of my body. I can’t breathe without him.
Why couldn’t I have seen that? Why couldn’t I have realized that I needed James, I needed him like air and water and life? Why did I do what I did?
Nothing matters anymore to me. I’m done with all of this.
Except I’m not allowed to be. I’ve got Dom to worry about. I’ve got everyone, people who are counting on me.
I can’t live for myself. But I have to stay alive for the people I love.
Love…there’s that word again. What is love? Is love hurting yourself so that you can make other people happy? Why does love hurt so much? Is it supposed to hurt this much?
Do I love James?
It’s only been a week. It felt like centuries. I don’t know how long I can go on.
I think I love James.
Funny, isn’t it, that you don’t realize what could have been until you’ve lost it?
I’m awfully late for someone who can see everything coming. Why didn’t I see this one coming?
Truth is, I haven’t seen anything coming for a while now.
It scares me.
I’m not me without my visions. I’m not me anymore.
“Missy Jones?” My head snapped up and I looked in confusion at the girl who was standing in front of me.
“What are you doing here?” She asked me.
“How do you know me?” I shot back, my brow still furrowed in confusion.
“Wow, Missy. Nice. Good to know you think so highly of your best friend’s sister.” She said dryly.
“Genius.” She smirked, sticking out a hand. “Come on. The floor’s filthy. You don’t want to be sitting on that.”
I took it, letting her pull me up. “Where am I?” I asked, looking around.
“By the Hufflepuff common room.” Noah said, looking closely at me. “Are you okay?”
“No, not really.” I said absently, looking around.
“You look like a piece of shit.” Noah remarked observantly.
“Feel like it.” I mumbled, running a tired hand through my limp curls.
She looked at me, worry evident in her clear brown eyes. “Do you want to talk about it?”
I looked back at her. Her eyes were clear and truthful, and I saw nothing but concern in them. Concern for me.
That did it. “Yeah.”
“Come on, then. I know a good place.” She took my hand and pulled me after her.
“Is this the astronomy tower?” I asked her, looking around.
She smiled. “Yeah. I like to come here to think. It’s very peaceful.”
I walked up to the balcony. “It is.”
“You talk and I listen, okay?” Noah said, coming up next to me.
“Okay.” I agreed, looking down over the grounds. “I don’t know where to start.”
“How about at the beginning?” She suggested gently.
So I did. I told her everything, starting with my first vision when I was little, to the vision about me and James, to me wanting to change everything. I told her about everyone, about Dom and Alex and Ella, about Rose and Scorpius and Albus, about Apollo and Fred…about James.
And she listened. Like she really cared.
“You can’t tell anyone.” I begged her, after I was done. “Please. No one should know about the visions.”
“I won’t tell.” Noah promised, putting her hand over mine. “I swear I won’t. That’s your secret. It’s not my place to say anything.”
I took a shaky breath, looking down helplessly at my hands. “And lately, I haven’t been getting a single vision. It’s been a week since that thing with James, and I haven’t had a single vision since. I just don’t know what to do anymore.”
“Look.” She said softly, and I followed her gaze to the night sky. I realized, with a jolt, that during the time I had been telling my story, the sun has set and the black flatness was now sprinkled with a myriad stars.
“Stars.” She murmured. “I love stars. They’re little lights in the middle of all the black. They show that even in the darkest of times, there’s always hope. It’s never completely black.”
“Have you ever heard of Pandora’s box?” Noah asked me, and I shook my head no.
She smiled. “I thought you would have, being named after a Greek Goddess and all.”
I rolled my eyes. “My mom’s just a freak who likes to think she’s clever.”
Noah chuckled softly. “Technically, it wasn’t a box, it was a jar. But, for the sake of making it sound cool, people starting calling it Pandora’s box.”
I nodded. “Pandora’s box does have a better ring to it. What’s the story about?”
“Well, I don’t know all of the details, but I know it’s about a woman named Pandora. She was the first woman, and the Greek Gods made her as punishment for Prometheus, who stole fire from them and brought it to man. They gave her tons of gifts to make her appealing to men, among them curiosity. They also gave her a jar, a pithos, and told her never to open it. But since she was so curious, she opened it anyway.”
“What was in it?” I asked softly.
“Evil. Sickness. Disease.” Noah turned her clear eyes to me. “Every single bad thing that’s ever happened to man was in that jar. But you know what else was in there?”
“Hope.” She said, smiling softly. “To show that even when everything’s shitty, you’ve still got hope.”
I sighed, and looked at the sky again. “Where do I find hope?”
“Right here.” Noah reached forward and tapped my heart. “Hope and courage go hand in hand, Artemis. I know you’ve got plenty of courage; you’re in Gryffindor. You just need enough courage to make your own hope.”
“I don’t think I have anything left.” I whispered, looking at her.
“That’s what you think.” She said. “You have so much in you. You just need to find it.”
I looked down, at the ground. “How?”
“Look at the stars.” She pointed up at the sky, and I looked up, staring at the million little dots. “Imagine; what if every single one of those was another sun for a bunch of planets?”
“That’s a lot of suns.” I remarked, taking a shaky breath.
“Exactly.” She agreed. “Now, what if each of those suns had one, maybe even two or three earths to them? Imagine how many people that would be.”
I couldn’t wrap my head around it. “A lot.”
She grinned. “And with all those people, what do your problems compare?”
I laughed, feeling like a large burden was being lifted off my chest. “They’re nothing.”
“Exactly. You don’t have it that bad, Artemis. It could be a lot worse.” She stated matter-of-factly.
“Oh yeah?” I raised my eyebrow at her.
“Yeah.” She said solemnly. “You could be a starving child.”
I scowled. “No need to bring up the starving children, Noah. You’re making me feel guilty.”
She laughed. “Feeling better, though?”
“Very.” I took a deep breath, looking up at the stars again. If you looked carefully enough, there were actually more stars than black spaces in between.
Me and Noah both whirled around, and Al stepped out onto the tower.
“Hey Al.” I grinned at him, and he smiled back, his eyes flicking to Noah.
“What are you doing here?” He asked.
“I was talking to Noah. Do you know her?”
“Yeah.” He looked at her again and did a head-jerk-upwards-nod-thing that guys do when they’re attempting to look cool. “Hey.”
“Hi.” She replied.
Al’s eyes travelled from her face all the way down to her feet, and Noah smirked slightly.
“Hey, you’re the Hufflepuff Seeker.” Al said suddenly, and I nearly slapped my forehead at his extreme awkwardness.
But Noah just grinned. “And you’re the Gryffindor Seeker.”
“Albus, what are you doing here?” I asked, before an awkward silence could develop.
He shrugged. “I just wanted to make sure you were okay. You’ve been pretty down lately.”
“Is that the only reason?” I raised an eyebrow at him.
He shifted uncomfortably. “Well…there was one more thing. You…well, you’d better see for yourself.”
My eyebrows creased at the middle. “Is everything okay?”
“Yeah, everything’s fine.” He said quickly.
“Dom?” I could feel the panic rising up inside me. I hadn’t been myself for a whole week. I wasn’t looking closely enough. What if something happened to her?
“She’s fine, Artemis. I just wanted to walk you back to the common room. Er, just in case you…needed someone.” He scratched at the back of his head and slid his other hand into his pocket.
“What’s going on?” I demanded, narrowing my eyes.
Al sighed and shifted his eyes to the ceiling, both hands in his pockets now. “Nothing.” He said unconvincingly, rocking onto the balls of his feet for a moment.
Just how stupid do you think I am, huh, Albus? Clearly, there’s something going on.
“That was believable.” Noah inserted dryly, and Al glared briefly at her.
“No one asked you.” He snapped.
She just shrugged, a small smile dancing at her mouth.
“What are you doing here, anyway?” Al asked her. “Aren’t you in Hufflepuff?”
“So?” She raised her chin. “Is there something against talking to a friend who’s in another house?”
“But it’s after curfew.” Al said. “And you’re in Hufflepuff.”
“What’s that supposed to mean?” She asked, her eyes suddenly blazing.
“Hufflepuffs don’t break rules.” He said wisely.
She snorted. “And who exactly are you to decide that?”
He shrugged. “I’m just saying. The whole lot of you are pretty timid and all goody-goody.”
Noah’s mouth dropped open in outrage.
“I’ll show you timid.” Noah muttered angrily, pulling out her wand. Al took a hasty step back, eyebrows raised as he fingered his own wand. I touched her arm, eyes wide, and she reluctantly put her wand away.
“Just because I’m in Hufflepuff doesn’t mean you can make rash generalizations about me.” She told Al coldly, her eyes still narrowed.
He just shrugged. “I was right, though, wasn’t I?”
“I am not timid. Or ‘all goody-goody’.” She argued, her voice mocking as she imitated the words ‘goody-goody’.
“Prove it.” Al challenged her.
“Fine.” She held her head higher. “Just tell me what to do.”
“Er – guys?” I inserted. “Is now really the time for this?”
I was ignored. Typical, really.
“You have to do a dare.” He said.
“Name it.” She challenged.
“Kiss the first guy you see.” He raised an eyebrow at her, and she imitated it, raising her own in response.
“Fine.” She walked across the astronomy tower – throwing my head back in annoyance, I followed her – and she glared briefly at Al before pushing roughly past him and walking down the stone steps.
Al followed behind her, a smirk playing at his mouth, and I followed behind the two of them, dearly hoping that Al could feel the two holes getting burned onto the back of his head from the force of my glare.
We came out of the tower and Noah looked around, her hands on her hips. “It’s after curfew.” She said.
“So?” Al responded.
“So, no one’s here.”
He raised an eyebrow at her. “I’m standing right here.”
I smothered a grin behind my hand.
Her eyes flashed with amusement. “You said to kiss the first guy I saw.” She smirked at his outraged look and walked down the hallway towards what I’m assuming was the Hufflepuff common room.
“Low blow, Longbottom.” Al called after her, his voice huskier than usual.
There is nothing more repulsive than watching a person that you consider a younger brother try to be seductive to the opposite gender. Nothing.
I’ll never be the same again. Good-bye, youthful innocence.
“If you wanted me to kiss you, you could have just asked, Potter.” She shot back over her shoulder.
Al chuckled and ran a hand through his hair as he stared after her, his gaze lingering on her swaying hips for a moment too long. I came forward and smacked the back of his head.
“Ow!” He exclaimed, rubbing it. “What was that for?”
“For being a prat.” I said. “You know, we were having a decent conversation before you came along and mucked it up.”
“Eh, you’ll live.” Al threw his arm around my shoulders. “It’s good to have you back, Missy.”
I smiled. “It’s good to be back.”
“So, who do I owe to bringing you back anyway?” He asked.
“Noah.” I smiled serenely. “She’s really very wise. And rather clever; it’s a surprise she didn’t make it into Ravenclaw.”
“What did she say?” Al asked curiously.
“She told me about Pandora’s box – er…Jar. And we talked about the stars.”
He looked at me for a moment. “Panda-who?”
“Pandora.” I corrected, sticking my tongue out at him.
He laughed. “Right. I’m sure it helped a lot.”
“Clearly it did, since I’m back.” I said cheekily. “Now, what were you going to tell me?”
Al swallowed and shoved his hand through his hair again. “I don’t want to ruin your good mood.” He mumbled.
“Al.” I said, leaning into him to get his attention. “Al, I’m fine. Noah really helped me. I won’t go back into my weird…depression thing.”
“Promise?” He asked, his green eyes large.
“Promise.” I said.
He sighed again. “You’re going to hate this.” He hedged.
“Just tell me.”
“Argh. I don’t want to.” He muttered, running his hand through his hair again.
“Just tell me, Albus.”
Al sighed and looked down at me. “James has a new girlfriend.”
chapter twelve? yay?
well, at least be glad that she's not in depression anymore! i can't write a character in depression. my funny side just desperately wants to burst out. it doesnt work.
i know artemis is an idiot.
i know she makes stupid decisions.
i know she's being a total dumbarse by suddenly realizing that 'oh, whoa, i guess i do
it's just her style. she won't realize what she's lost until after she actually loses it. don't judge her.
pointless ramblings? check. questions - QUESTIONS!
1) What do you think is going to happen next??
2) Who loves noah? i sure do ;)
3) Who do you think James' girlfriend is? maybe i'll even bring out a new character ;D
4) What do you think his girlfriend should be like??
that's about it for now. thanks so much to anyone who reviews - the response to last chapter was like WHOA. i literally squealed. and i may have jumped up and down a bit. shh.
just remember, guys - please keep the reviews 12+. i totally understand that some of you are extremely pissed, and being extremely pissed entails much foul language. you could..i dont know. use 'prat' or 'git' or something?
i mean, i love your frustration (which is sort of sadistic, but, oh well). i love it when you guys leave passionate reviews, because then it makes me feel like i'm totally connecting to you :) so don't stop leaving those multiple exclamation points and capital letters ;) just keep it 12+.
in short, if my little cousin were to read these reviews (unlikely), she should not
be able to say, 'hey, what does 'fuck' mean?'
i'm pretty sure her mother would not be pleased with me.
i'm also going to apologize right now for the horrendously short chapter. i promise next chapter shall be longer!
want a preview? here's a preview:
“She doesn’t feel that way about me, guys!” Scorpius said exasperatedly, running another distracted hand through his hair as he glanced at Rose and Jeremy again. Jeremy was now staring very intently at her mouth, inching a bit closer.
We looked at Scorpius.
“You’re an idiot.” I told him promptly.
“Hey!” He said indignantly. “Why am I an –”
“Because the girl’s been in love with you since first bloody year, you fucking imbecile!” Dom said, shoving his arm.
“Okay, jeez, no need to get pushy, woman!” Scorpius rubbed his arm, scowling at her. “And how do you know?”
Dom groaned. “I just do! Go over there!”
“I don’t know…” Scorpius said, shooting them another furtive glance. Jeremy was now really close to Rose, and she trailed off what she was saying.
“It’s now or never, mate.” Fred advised, clapping him on the back. “She’s his or yours. You pick.”
We watched Scorpius as he continued to stare at Rose and Jeremy. She had backed away nervously, trying to get back to the conversation, but he leaned forward and cupped her cheek. She trailed off unsurely again.
Scorpius’ jaw locked. “Yeah, not a chance. She’s mine.” He growled, cracking his knuckles as he strode quickly towards Rose and Jeremy.
ooh, suspense! what do you think is going to happen next??
you shall find out...next time! mwah ha ha!
thanks so much for reading and as always, reviews make my day :D