I definitely believe in karma and reincarnation. I mean, what else
could explain my terrible luck? Clearly, I must have been, like, Hitler in my past birth, and all that bad karma is coming back to me now
This is unfair. Completely and totally unfair.
“I am going to kill Scorpius Malfoy!”
I looked up from the essay that I was glaring at, and saw that Rose had stormed in…with bright pink hair.
Okay, I take it back. She must have been Hitler. I was just a Nazi.
Because, honestly, even my luck isn’t that bad.
“What happened to you?” I asked her blankly as she stomped her way to the mirror and let out a frustrated scream at the sight of her cotton candy colored locks.
“Your prat of a cousin happened.” She snarled. “Next time you see your Uncle and Aunt, ask them why they didn’t use a fucking condom. Then they wouldn’t have infested the earth with that piece of shit.”
I just choked on my own spit.
Lovely. This just proves that even I’m out to get me, along with the rest of the world. Just bloody fantastic.
“Pink!” Rose was fuming, completely oblivious to the fact that her best friend was currently hacking up a lung like some sort of chain smoker. “He turned it bloody pink. Of all the colors, he just has to choose – fucking – pink.”
Oh, yeah. Rose sort of has a problem with the color pink. Like, she utterly abhors it. I honestly have absolutely no clue why. Rose is simply weird that way, and I have taught myself to just ignore her quirks and be resigned to the fact that I have surrounded myself with utter loons.
Though, judging by the state that my brain is at right now, I really shouldn’t be talking. I’m sort of the Queen Loon.
My only consolation in life is that there is someone out there crazier than I am: Luna Scamander.
Which is really sad, because, honestly, the woman believes in Blibbering Humdingers. I bet if I told her that I found a new species called Whangdoodlecorns, she would believe me. And then go looking for them.
“Pink! Pink! Oh, he’s dead!”
I watched Rose have a spazzer with mild curiosity, wondering why she didn’t just save herself the blood pressure pills and, you know, charm it back.
“Can’t you just charm it back?” I asked her.
There was silence while she gazed at me in the mirror.
I slapped a hand to my face.
You know it’s a sad day when Ariadne makes more sense than you do.
“What’s wrong with you?” I demanded as soon as I saw the mass of blonde hair sticking up from behind a book.
Scorpius put the book down, an innocent look spread across his features. “Pardon?”
“You know what I’m talking about.” I narrowed my eyes at him and pulled the chair away from the table to take a seat. Scorpius quickly picked up the book and hid behind it again.
“Actually, I have no idea what you’re talking about.” He lied.
“Scorpius, you know exactly what I’m talking about. Don’t lie to me.” I narrowed my eyes further.
“What? Pink Hair?” He blurted in a guilty voice.
I looked at him. “You’re an idiot.”
He smirked. “Actually, I’m pretty brilliant.”
“You do know that she can just charm it back, right?” I asked him.
A thoughtful look crossed over his features. “Crap.”
I threw my hands up in the air. “Why am I the only one who makes sense around here? What’s wrong with you people?”
He sat back and ruffled his hair, yawning loudly. “How was practice?”
I scowled. “Don’t change the subject on me, Scorpius. You’re not going to get away with turning my best friend’s hair pink, you know. But, just for the record, it sucked.” I tacked on a deploring sigh at the end.
He sat forward, suddenly interested. “What happened?” He asked eagerly, his eyes glinting.
I narrowed my eyes at him. “You’re not getting any Quidditch secrets out of me, Scorpius.”
I would have to understand them to tell people about them, which is something that I definitely don’t do. Anything Quidditch-related goes right over my head, to be perfectly honest.
And yet, I still tried out for the team.
If you look in the dictionary, there will be a picture of me under the word ‘idiot’. It will also be under the pictures of ‘hopeless’ and ‘crazy’.
There will be a picture of you underneath the word ‘gullible’. Really. Go check!
He rolled his eyes. “Slytherin kicks your arses anyway.”
“Actually, I do believe Gryffindor won the cup last year.”
I turned around, surprised, to see that Blue Eyes was standing behind me at the table, his bag slung over his shoulder and a challenging eyebrow raised at Scorpius.
“Who’re you?” Scorpius asked rudely. I kicked his leg under the table.
I missed. And hit the table instead.
“Scorpius, this is Bl – er…Russell?” I looked at Blue Eyes for confirmation, and he sent me a nod, looking quite proud of me. “This is Russell.” I continued happily. “Russell…er…Something-Or-Other, but honestly, it doesn’t matter. He’s on the Quidditch Team.”
Scorpius’ eyes were slits. He nodded jerkily. “Ah.”
“Yeah.” I said awkwardly, clearing my throat and inching slowly under the table as Scorpius and Blue Eyes continued to have an eye-war.
I don’t want to get in the middle of that. What if I get hurt in the process or something? I mean, of course that would happen to me.
“Just so you know, you’re going down.” Scorpius informed Blue Eyes in a menacing voice. I sent a quick prayer to the gods above, glad that I was safely under the table and not in their line of fire.
Blue Eyes snorted. “Your team sucks arse. I’d like to see you bloody try.”
Scorpius laughed. “I wouldn’t be talking. At least our Seeker at least knows how to play Quidditch.”
It’s true. The Slytherin Seeker actually isn’t that – HEY! Scorpius just insulted me!
My mouth dropped open in outrage, and I jabbed his leg as hard as I could.
“Excuse me!” I said loudly. “I’m sitting right here!”
“Well, Ree, face it. You do sort of suck.” Scorpius’ face appeared underneath the table and he sent me a shrug and a ‘what-can-you-do’ sort of facial expression.
Oh, no he didn’t.
“Slytherin is going down.” I snarled, crawling out from under the table. No one was surprised to see me emerge, which slightly worried me.
Apparently, I’m the type of girl who can climb underneath tables and no one would be concerned about her sanity.
“Aw, come on, Ree –” Scorpius backtracked.
“You can’t just insult me like that and expect me to take it!” I said, outraged. “I mean, I do actually have a sense of pride, you know! I’m not a Gryffindor for nothing.”
Blue Eyes suddenly looked slightly frightened at our family spat.
Scorpius sighed loudly. “Ariadne, love, I was only –”
“Joking? Aren’t you always?” I interjected. “What about when you dyed my best friend’s hair bright pink? Was that another ‘joke’? Well, I’ll have you know that it was not funny. You’re going to give her hypertension or something! And then what if she dies?! Then it’s on your karma record, and you really can’t risk it at this point because, remember you were the one who forced my older sister’s boyfriend to cry like a baby? That totally must have killed –”
“Ariadne, stop talking.” Scorpius said, covering my mouth with his hand. I made an indignant squeaking sound and glared at him.
“I’m sorry.” He continued. “I didn’t mean to insult you.”
I pulled his hand away. “Gryffindor is still going to kick your arses.”
With that, I waved my wand, turned his hair bright pink and stormed impressively out of the library, Scorpius gaping after me oh-so-attractively with his pink hair sticking up like a cloud around his head.
…okay, well, I came back in three seconds to get my books, but it was impressive up until then, okay?
Shut up. This is a big accomplishment for me.
“You’re actually serious?”
I turned around to shoot a scathing glare over my shoulder. “No, I’m just out here in the fucking cold for funsies.”
“So, let me get this straight.” Blue Eyes came in front of me, his hands held up to stop me. I heaved an exasperated sigh and looked at him, my eyebrow raised.
Yes, the very ‘eyebrow-raising’ expression that I had taken all of last summer to master. It was so worth it, though.
“You want me, a Chaser, to teach you how to Seek?” He said, his voice disbelieving.
I sighed again. Really, I worry about this kid. “No, idiot, I just want to you to teach me how to fly.”
He looked blankly at me for a second. “But that’s easy.”
“For you, maybe!” I cried, waving my hands around and accidentally smacking him in the chest. “It’s not easy for me! I can barely stay up in the air!”
There was another silence while he gazed at me.
“…so, why are you asking me, again?” He asked.
I wonder what his IQ is. I’m willing to bet that it doesn’t even reach double digits.
“Because, Blue Eyes, you’re the only one I sort of trust!” I said, exasperated. Merlin, do I have to explain everything to him?!
“You don’t trust Al?” His voice was skeptical.
“I make a fool out of myself in front of Al.” I replied calmly.
“…you sort of make a fool out of yourself in front of everyone.”
If this kid wasn’t about to help me, I probably would have decked him at this point.
Must. Restrain. From. Strangling. Imbecilic. Quidditch. Bloke.
My jaw locked. “Okay, let me rephrase: I make more of a fool out of myself in front of Al.”
“Because you like him.”
I shot Blue Eyes another sharp glare. “Yes.”
I dare him to say something. Go on, say something. I’ll kill you dead, fool.
That’s right. Kill him dead. I won’t just kill him. I’ll. Kill. Him. DEAD.
…right, I think you understand now.
“Okay,” He shrugged. “I’ll help you.”
I blinked at him. “Wait – you will?”
“Yeah,” He shrugged again.
I mean, I was fully prepared to threaten him with painful death/possible castration, but I honestly didn’t think he was actually going to agree.
“I sort of like you, Chase.” He smiled crookedly at me. “I think you’ll be good for the team. I also really do want to kick Slytherin’s arses.”
I grinned. “Alright, then. Let’s start practicing, shall we?”
Blue Eyes is my new favorite Quidditch player.
Right after Al. And Scorpius.
…alright, Blue Eyes is my third favorite Quidditch player, and my only Quidditch player that I am not in love with/related to.
Same difference, really.
“Oi, what’re you guys doing out here?”
I turned around, and realized that, during my painful explaining session with Blue Eyes, The Burly One had managed to sneak up on us and was now looking eager to join in on the fun.
I tossed him a glare that would be sure to induce blood-pounding fear. “Nothing.”
The Burly One looked at me, his head cocking to his side and an amused expression splaying across his face.
I’m getting the vibe that he’s not the least bit intimidated by my Glare of Death. Curses.
“Hey, are you practicing?” The Burly One continued.
“No,” I said hastily. “We’re...uh – um…nargle…hunting…?” The end of the sentence trailed off in a questioning voice as I winced at my pathetic excuse. I think I should take this time to repeat:
I am shit at cover stories.
“What the fuck is a nargle?” Blue Eyes demanded, and I elbowed him in the stomach as viciously as I could.
“You know…” I said obviously, flicking my eyes to The Burly One. “Nargles.”
He continued to look confused. “Er…no, I don’t.”
I groaned and threw my head back. “You’re pathetic, Blue Eyes.”
“Dude, what did she just call you?” The Burly One asked in an amused/surprised voice.
Blue Eyes rolled his…er…blue eyes. “She can’t remember our names, so she made up her own.”
“How does she not remember a name as simple as Russell?” The Burly One asked, clearly scandalized. “Her name is bloody Ariadne.”
Oi, ‘she’ is standing right here!
“That’s what I said!” Blue Eyes agreed, throwing his hands up. “She told me she’s shit at names. Seriously, bro, ‘Blue Eyes’ isn’t even that bad. You should hear what she calls you.”
“Oi, ‘she’ is standing right here!” I said indignantly.
I think we’ve already had the discussion about me often repeating what I think. I’m not a very eloquent person. Don’t judge me.
They both turned to look at me. “Oh, hey, Ariadne.” Blue Eyes said lamely. I nearly screamed in frustration.
“Alright, here’s the deal,” I snapped. “Blue – you stay here. Burly – get back in the castle.”
“Excuse me?” The Burly One asked, incensed.
“Okay. I call you ‘The Burly One’. Don’t bother telling me what your name is. It won’t make a shred of difference to me. Either stay here and teach me how to fly or get your overly muscular arse back in the castle before I have a full-blown spazzer and completely freak out on the two of you.” I said furiously.
They both continued to gaze vacantly at me as though I had suddenly sprouted a third eye and webbed feet.
Holy Merlin, I have acquainted myself with utter baboons.
“Hello?” I snapped my fingers at them impatiently. “Are you daft, or what?”
“Dude,” The Burly One said in a dazed voice. “She’s feisty.”
“She’s still standing right here!” I fumed. “Yes, we get it: I’m bloody feisty, let’s throw a party and move-the-fuck-on.”
A slow smirk unfurled over The Burly One’s face and I took a cautious step back.
“I like feisty.” He continued in a low voice, raising a suggestive eyebrow at me.
That’s about when I completely lost it and screamed like there was no bloody tomorrow.
“Ack!” They both covered their eyes as I continued to scream bloody murder.
“Merlin, I’m not that repulsive!” The Burly One cried in an affronted manner. “I’m fucking hot!”
“I’m – not – bloody – interested!” I shrieked, punctuating each word with a blow to his chest. He seemed completely unaffected by my punches. More curses.
“Okay, jeez!” He put his hands up in surrender. “If you’re more interested in getting if off with that Malfoy bloke, it’s completely fine with me, no need to get all feisty –”
“Dumbarse.” Blue Eyes muttered, whacking The Burly One on the back of his head while I swelled in rage.
Explosion in three…two…
“I AM NOT BLOODY DATING SCORPIUS!” I thundered. Both of them literally stepped back and cowered under my rage.
That’s right. I, Ariadne Chase, made two strong Quidditch blokes cower. Feel free to shower me with congratulatory gifts.
Seriously. I like assorted chocolates.
“HE’S MY FUCKING COUSIN, YOU TURD-FACE!” I continued. The Burly One’s eyes, if possible, widened even further. “AND NOT JUST A COUSIN; HE’S A FIRST COUSIN AND WE DON’T BELIEVE IN BLOODY INCEST!”
“Holy Jesus Christ.” The Burly One said faintly as I stepped back and seethed with silent rage, my fists curled up at my sides. “She’s a fireball.”
“Plus, she’s interested in Al, mate.” Blue Eyes added.
My mouth dropped open and I gaped at him in sheer outrage. Does he not understand the concept of ‘secret’?!
“Damnit.” The Burly One muttered. “Bloody Al always gets the best girls.”
“I – he – you weren’t supposed to tell, dumbshit!” I cried, turning to Blue Eyes.
“I wasn’t?” His brow furrowed in confusion. “You never said –”
“It was implied!” I cried, throwing my hands up. “I don’t want everyone to know!”
“So, is that why you tried out for the team?” The Burly One asked me, his eyebrow raised.
I think I like the dumb kid more.
“Er…” I said nervously.
“That is why you tried out!” He declared furiously. “You don’t give a shit about the rest of the bloody team, as long as precious Al looks at you –”
“Mate,” Blue Eyes interrupted quietly while I continued to gape at The Burly One. “She really does care about the team; she’s out here to learn how to fly, alright?”
“She – oh.” Realization dawned on The Burly One’s face. “Right. Well. I guess I’ll help.”
“Wait, what?” I did a double-take. “You’re going to help? With what?”
A thoughtful, calculating look came across The Burly One’s face. “I’m going to help you learn how to fly.”
“Somehow, I’m getting the feeling that’s not all you want to do.” I said in a nervous voice.
A slow smirk spread across The Burly One’s mouth. “No, it’s not.” He drawled, clearly pleased with himself. “I’m also going to help you get Al to notice you.”
I stared at him.
And stared some more.
“But – why?” I asked blankly.
“Because I’m a total sap when it comes to this ‘unrequited love’ thing. Also because I sort of like you.” The Burly One spoke in a matter-of-fact voice.
I stared at him again, taking in the muscles – even his muscles have muscles, I swear – the boyish look on his face, the boyish clothes, the boyish hair…
He doesn’t look like a poof.
“Erm…I have to ask, sorry, but…are you…you know – gay?” I asked him cautiously.
Blue Eyes erupted into peals of delighted laughter while an outraged expression took itself up on The Burly One’s face. “No! Can’t a guy be hopeless romantic without being labeled as a poof? What’s wrong with this world?! Why must everyone be so fucking judgmental?!”
“Okay, sorry!” I said hastily, taking a step back. “I didn’t mean to offend you or anything, it’s just that blokes normally –”
“Do you know Dominique Weasley?” Blue Eyes cut off. He had, it seems, finally managed to collect himself.
What does Dom have to do with anything? My expression must have looked blank and confused, because Blue Eyes went on, “You know…Weasley…blonde hair…nice arse…part-veela…Ravenclaw – come on, you know who I’m talking about, here!”
“What does Dom have to do with this?” I asked.
“He’s in love with her.” Blue Eyes jerked his head towards The Burly One, who looked completely unabashed. Instead, he was nodding eagerly.
“Like, desperately.” He declared proudly. “I’ve been in love with her ever since she kicked my arse on the Quidditch pitch two years ago.”
“Lemme guess – she doesn’t know who the fuck you are.” I said in a sympathetic voice.
“Oh, she knows who he is, alright.” Blue Eyes laughed.
“She hates me.” The Burly One said in a despondent voice. “A lot.”
I winced. “Er – why?”
“I, erm…sort of used to…uhhh…tormentherwhenwewerelittle.” The Burly One said in a rush, scratching the back of his head as he looked at the ground.
I sighed. “You used to torment her when you were little? May I ask why?”
“I sort of…kind of – just a little, you know – didn’t like her too much.” He continued.
I sighed again. “And now you’ve changed your mind.”
“Completely.” He nodded. “I just – don’t know how to get her to notice. She somehow still believes that I hate her just as much as she hates me.”
Merlin, this Quidditch Team sure is a dramatic bunch. I seriously didn’t know blokes could really be this confusing. Living with Scorpius my whole life has given me the impression that for a guy, life is made up of four simple equations:
Girls = hot. Snag them before he does.
Quidditch = fun. Girls like Quidditch players.
Mates = cool. Make sure you have cool mates.
Mom = best. Make sure said mates don’t fancy your mom. And if they do, beat their arses.
This has opened up a whole new world for me. Yippee.
“Alright.” I said in a business-like voice. “This is what we do. You two will teach me how to play – oh, before I come up with the game plan, would you like to impart a secret love of yours, Blue Eyes?”
“Emily Pope.” He piped up, grinning in a roguish way.
I ground my palm into my forehead. “You idiot – everyone’s in love with Emily Pope. She’s the biggest slag Hogwarts has to offer. Do you have, you know…an actual decent person in mind?”
He scratched the back of his head. “Er – you’ll make fun of me.”
I looked at him. “Dude,” I said dryly. “You’re talking to the girl with mental issues and the bloke whose crushee hates him. You seriously think we’ll make fun of you?”
He cleared his throat. “Er…d’you know Emma Summers?” He winced slightly as this came out.
I blinked. “The quiet girl in my dorm who doesn’t talk to anyone?”
“With the straight brown hair?” The Burly One added.
“And the pretty light blue eyes?”
“YES, that one.” Blue Eyes cut off loudly before Burly could add another sentence in. “I just…find her sort of…fascinating, you know? She’s got sort of that – what do you call it…”
“Quiet beauty?” I offered, a soft smile spreading across my face. With her shimmery brown hair, light blue eyes and unusually quiet demeanor, Emma Summers was the type of girl who, if you didn’t look closely enough, could go completely unnoticed.
Apparently, Blue Eyes took the time to notice.
“Yes,” He said softly. “Quiet beauty.”
“Awww,” The Burly One ruffled Blue Eyes’ hair with a loud guffaw. “Little Russell’s gone and turned himself into a hopeless romantic right along with me!”
“Shut up, man.” Blue Eyes shoved him away. “I knew I shouldn’t have told you. I knew you’d make fun of me or some –”
“Actually, I think it’s adorable.” I declared.
Blue Eyes blinked at me. “You do?”
“I do. And we’re going to add your agenda in our little game-plan.” I smiled conspiratorially.
“Awesome! I love plans.” The Burly One rubbed his hands together eagerly. “Take it away, Chase. Let’s hear it.”
“Alright. Stage One: you will teach me how to fly.” I said. “That’s the easiest part of the plan, sadly. And I can’t fly. Whatsoever.”
“Oh, yay.” Blue Eyes muttered.
I glared at him. “Ahem. Stage two: We change The Burly One’s outward attitude towards the ever-so-beautiful Dominique Weasley and somehow make her tolerate him. At the same time, I shall befriend Emma Summers and drag her into the fun-fest that is my and Rose’s friendship. Then I shall introduce her to Blue Eyes, slyly slip away, and they can have a romantic talk and proclaim their everlasting and undying love for each other.”
“…dude.” The Burly One said in a thoroughly awed voice. “You’re a genius.”
I smirked proudly. “Oh, I know. Feel free to give me assorted chocolates and such.”
“Next Hogsmeade visit.” Burly promised.
Yes! Assorted chocolates! SCORE!
“Wait…” Blue Eyes piped up. He seemed to be utterly confused. “What about you and Al?”
I smiled and shrugged. “It doesn’t matter right now. It’ll work out in between, hopefully.”
Both of them looked deeply impressed. “Wow…thanks.” Blue Eyes said. “That’s possibly the most selfless thing anyone’s ever done for me.”
“That’s me!” I grinned. “Now, show me how to fly.”
hey, hey, hey! chapter five! look at that!
so, guess what? i've got chapter six partly written out as well, so right after this will be deja vu, and then another chapter for ariadne! YEAHH :D
a plot (finally. see, told you there was a method to my madness) and a plan.
lemme know what you think!
favorite quotes? i do love favorite quotes. XD