The lyrics in this chapter are from the song "Hurricane" by 30 Seconds to mars.
A/N Please note that this story has a strong Violence warning for a reason... And also please note that the HP stories themselves are extremely violent.. It's not forever.. Just so you can understand better the mindset of my characters and what drives them.
“Brrrrrriiiinnnnggg” the sounds of my alarm clock woke me that night. Just like it had every night before that. As I sat up in my ancient featherbed and wiped the sleep from my wide- set violet eyes, how was I to know that on this night the unthinkable would happen, and I, Rowena Ambrosia Adare would be forever changed?
No matter how many times that you told me you wanted to leave
No matter how many breaths that you took you still couldn't breathe
I remember it was cold that September night. Unusually so thanks to the Dementors that circled my childhood home.
I stood in the bedroom that had always been mine, all alone.
It didn’t feel like mine any longer. Nothing did. I felt as though they had taken everything that was mine. That was my legacy as a Malfoy. My home, my family, even my very soul had been claimed in his name.
No matter how many nights that you lied wide awake to the sound of the pausing rain
Where did you go? where did you go? where did you go?
My hands trembled as I stood in the gold gilded mirror and hid my face like a coward would behind a silver mask and dark hooded cloak. I felt sick staring at the reflection before me. I looked so thin I was almost skeletal. The past year of barely eating and not sleeping had really taken it’s toll on me.
No matter how many deaths that I die, I will never forget
No matter how many lives I live, I will never regret
There's a fire inside this heart and a riot about to explode into flames
Where is your God? Where is your God? Where is your God?
All that was visible through the mask was my eyes. My identity was properly hidden. Perhaps that’s because I didn’t have one left.
I uncorked a near empty bottle of fire whiskey that stood on my nightstand and took a deep drink. As I felt the slow burn of alcohol slightly ease the ball of anxious fear that had formed in my stomach.
I took one rattled breath that sounded more like a gasp.
I heard a gentle rap on my heaven wooden door and shoved my hands in my cloak pockets to hide their trembling and prayed my knees wouldn’t buckle beneath me as I rasped
I knew it wasn’t him. He never knocked. He went wherever he damn well pleased whenever he wanted and the rest of us be damned.
A slight blonde figure entered the room, head bowed.
I smiled a little behind my cloak for just a half second until the woman lifted her head.
A soft beautiful face looked up into mine. My heart broke as I saw that both of her eyes had been blackened, her lip was split and there was a burn in the shape of a handprint on her throat.
Do you really want me dead?
Or alive to torture for my sins?
Gooseflesh appeared on my arms and the nerves turned to a hot flash of anger. I balled my fists and clenched my teeth.
“He hurt you again, mother”
“This is nothing”
She smiled at me, a sick parody of the smile that could once upon a time light up a room and drop a grown man to his knees. Now it just looked hollow and ghastly.
“I have to stop this! Look at yourself! How can you say this is nothing!”
I grabbed her fragile arm and whirled her around to face herself in the mirror.
Tears formed but did not fall as she flinched in fear. She expected pain. Had been trained to expect abuse at every turn.
You say you wrong, you wrong, I'm right, I'm right, you're wrong, we fight
Ok, I'm running from the light, running from the day to night
Her azure eyes widened in terror.
“Please, Draco, don’t provoke him. This I can take”
she gestured to her face.
“what I couldn’t take is if something happened to you. Your all I have left”
I hugged her to me, the top of her fair head barely touching my chin.
“This is sick.. This is so wrong. You probably think you deserved this, don’t you”
“I allowed my only child to be branded. I gave you up on a fool’s mission and trapped you in hell. A little pain is nothing to spare your life”
“He’s going to kill me anyway, mother. Sooner or later he will tire of me, or I will fail and I’ll be disposable to him. Just like father was”
A loud sob racked my mother’s body and I led her to the foot of my bed I laid my head in her lap the way I had since I was a boy.
“I’m so sorry mother, Please don’t cry. I’ll do whatever I have to. Not for him, or his twisted cause, but for you. I promise”
“besides, you raised me to be strong, didn’t you?”
Oh, the quiet silence defines our misery
The riot inside keeps trying to visit me
She gave a solemn nod.
“Do you know anything about my mission?”
She shook her head slowly.
“All I know is he needs something protected. Something valuable from the way Bella was talking. Not that he would confide in me. I’m just his inferior plaything.”
I stood back and offered her my arm.
“we had better hurry. You know the price for tardiness”
And just like that I walked out to stare down my destiny.
I had barely been up for five minutes before my father burst into the door.
“Get up you lazy, useless girl!”
I didn’t flinch at his name-calling. For eighteen years that was all I heard. Filthy half breed, Bastard daughter of a whore, dribbling beast. I had heard it all.
No matter how we try, it's too much history
Too many bad notes playing in our symphony
“I am up, father” I pointed out
“dare you talk back to me?”
“No, sir, sorry sir”
I looked down at the ground. Straw was strewn across the floor of the dirt floored cupola where I spent my whole life.
I had never seen the light of day. I was a monster, father always said. I should never be seen or heard, dare I shame the name of Ronan Adare. I honestly don’t know why he didn’t kill me when I was born like he killed my mother.
Sorry, I probably should rewind.
I am only half human. The other is a breed of Fae known as the Capriti. My mother, Orianna Crysyllis, was their queen.
She had fallen in love with my father, and had hidden who and what she was. That is, until she gave birth to a violet eyed, winged child.
My father was horrified at us both and he killed my mother that very night. Cut her throat while she slept. I will never know why he choose to spare me. Probably to satisfy his bloodlust and to wait on him hand and foot.
I have a very unique gift. I can control the elements. Well, that is to say when I am not wearing the collar father had made for someone like me. The collar drains me of all magic and leaves me defenseless. It is a big ugly burden. I hate it.
I thought tonight was to be like any other and I went to push past father to head downstairs and begin my housework. It was only then did he grab my arm and yank me back.
“is something wrong, father?”
I swallowed hard as my voice broke. The look in his eyes was fiendish.
So let it breathe, let it fly, let it go
Let it fall, let it crash, burn slow
And then you call upon God
“Oh no, duckling, all is quite right. You are finally going to be of some use to me”
“Even though I was near faint with fear, I managed to act cool as I faced his gaze.
“I live only to serve you, father”
He smirked a cruel smirk and looked down at me.
“of course you do. Now put this on”
I noticed he had hung a garment bag on the back of my door.
He undid the zipper to reveal the most beautiful gown I had ever seen. It was shimmery black fabric, and dripping in emeralds.
My little gasp had not gone unnoticed. My brow was furrowed in confusion.
I had never even seen anything so grand, let alone worn it.
All I had ever owned were burlap work dresses made from flour sacks.
he snapped as he slammed my door.
As soon as I slipped the soft as a dream dress over my head he stuck his head back in.
Oh and do something with that mop of A head”
he commanded, throwing at me a silver handled hairbrush.
I brushed my waist length auburn curls and groaned in frustration as they snaked back into place.
I wonder what all this was about? Did It have anything to do with those men in masks who were here last week?
I was just stepping into the stilettos that he had left when he burst back into the room and roughly grabbed my arm.
I felt a dizzying sensation as the room spun away and before I could catch my breath I had fallen at his feet. We were no longer at home but outside the ivory gates of a house bigger and more grandiose than I had ever seen. Despite the outer beauty it was as if a cloud of doom hung over the mansion. I knew it was no place I wanted to be. I heard the death caw of a raven and looked up to see about ten of the nasty birds in the treetop above my head. They all stared at me with fierce yellow eyes. Not a good omen.
Tell me would you kill to save a life?
Tell me would you kill to prove you're right?
Crash, crash, burn let it all burn
This hurricane chasing us all underground
The gate creaked open and I asked
“where are we father?”
“Shut up you babbling idiot”
he hissed like a deadly viper in my ear.
“Here you look down at the ground and whatever you do, do not speak unless you are spoken to, are we understood?”
I said nothing at first till he jabbed me in the side with his wand.
“Do I need to speak slower, you insipid girl? Or will a bit of torture jog your brain.
“No sir, sorry sir”
“No we are not understood?”
“I mean, yes we are understood”
We stepped up to the wraparound porch that once was probably meant to be romantic but now was just crumbling.
Father lifted his hand and lifted and dropped the golden knocker three times in rapid succession.
Like breath from a mausoleum the door groaned open to a fat balding man with an eerie silver hand looking me up and down. Gross.
“I am Ronan Adare”
Father said in his powerful, commanding voice.
“I believe we are expected”
The man nodded his beady rat like eyes never leaving my long legs.
“Yes sir, right this way.
We followed the man down a long dark hallway. Gaslights were flickering in and out and I swear I heard the sound of a woman screaming. Sweat beaded on my forehead and I felt like I was going to vomit. Just where the hell was he taking me?
Finally the man opened a door and father shoved me inside, following close behind. I looked up and I swear I saw a glimmer of aversion in his normally emotionless green eyes.
I looked around at my surroundings.
Their was a fire lit in the amazing marble fireplace and one single armchair sat before it. I couldn’t see who was in the chair because it was turned away from me.
The room seemed full of shadows, and the shadows seemed to be moving. Suddenly they weren’t shadows anymore but people in long black cloaks and just as I had suspected, silver masks.
I heard a high, cold voice from the armchair
“Is this her?”
father spoke slowly.
“I trust you will find her to your liking”
“Wormtail, turn me around so I can inspect the merchandise”
who the hell was this asshole calling merchandise? And what the dickens was going on here?
I was feeling very close to panic as the armchair spun and I saw what was in that chair.
It looked almost like a man, but something in his creation had gone Horribly wrong. It looked more like serpent than man, with a bald very white head, coal red eyes, two little slits for nostrils and a cadaverous imitation of a smile. On his lap was an actual serpent that looked to be about ten feet long. He was stroking it like it as a cuddly lapdog.
I felt the burn of those wicked eyes on me. I started to shake all over and dry heave hysterically. I looked over at Father who was looking right past me.
Oh, father, what have you done
“Remove her restraints”
My eyes rolled back in my head in shock. Only father knew the spell to remove my collar. It was a Nonverbal spell he barely used.
“I wouldn’t advise that, my lord. She is very strong and a bit willful. I wouldn’t want anyone getting hurt”
The snake-man smirked and beckoned me to come closer. Father shoved me hard and a fell just below the man’s feet.
Long, white bony fingers reached out and stroked my chin. His touch disgusted me and left me shivering all over. It felt like the ice baths I took after one of father’s beatings.
“How can I know what you say is true if I don’t see it for myself?”
The man hissed in a lethal whisper.
Father bristled, his shoulders back proudly.
“You doubt my word?”
“Of course not but, I am no fool. I say again, remove her restraints. I will handle the little filly”
What happened next happened so fast I was unsure that I wasn’t dreaming it.
Father pointed his wand at my throat and the leather spiked collar fell away. Right away I felt the hum of magic in my blood, like an intoxicating drug. As soon as that happened, the man whispered “Imperio” and I heard a voice in my head. It was telling me to put out the fire.
“Why?” I asked the voice in my head. But the pull was undeniable. I lifted my right hand lazily, as if in a trance. I pictured thunderstorm in my head and right on cue water burst from my palms drenching the fireplace, putting out the fire.
Father looked at the man with a haughty look. It was as if he was saying “I told you so” with his eyes.
The man in the chair nodded once and dug out a pouch from his cloak pouring out several gold coins into father’s outstretched palms.
It was in that moment that I realized the gravity of the situation. I was being sold like cattle.
I hit my knees hard and grabbed the bottom of father’s cloak, holding on for dear life. I had known nothing but travail and debasement my whole life, but it was still better the devil you know.
I had learned early on that crying only made it worse, but this time I had broken into convulsive weeping.
I begged in vain.
“I am sorry for whatever I’ve done.. I… I promise to be better.”
He looked at me wildly, as if I were less than a parasite.
“Dare you touch me, you, you foul little twit?”
He sputtered fiercely
Just then, the magic inside of me went haywire. It felt like it was scrambling any coherent thought I may have had.
It was like my blood was boiling molten lava.
I felt a corybantic heat on my face and before I could stop it, before I even realized what was happening, my hair took on a red glow. From my fingertips a dark fire burst and caught father’s cloak.
As long as I live I will never forget the mix of hatred and alarm in his eyes, or the smell of flesh burning.
He crumpled to the floor, face burning away like ash.
Behind me I heard quiet, bloodthirsty laughter and before the shock of what I had done wore off, My collar was once again in place and I was just an ordinary girl. I felt so depleted, I didn’t want to move.
I really was a monster. I thought grimly. Father was right all along. And now he was dead. Dead at my hand.
The hideous thing was speaking again, but I was just staring straight ahead like a madwoman.
“Draco, come here”
All of a sudden, the shadow closest to the chair moved and I felt hands on my shoulders.
I fought and screamed but still the penumbra held on.
I was so tired. I was just finished. I gave in to the sleepiness and fell into waiting arms.
I nearly jumped back in dread as the once distraught woman fainted dead into my arms. Instead I caught her and lay her gently on the floor.
The show of power still had me quivering from the inside out. I looked at everything in the room but the burned out shell of a corpse beside me.
I looked to Voldemort for my next assignment.
“Your mission is simple. Keep for safe until I need her. Guard her with your life. And know this; should you fail, you will crave the release of death. Do we have an accord?”
I nodded my head, my hood nearly falling off, revealing a bit of my disheveled blonde locks.
I didn’t like this one bit. That girl had more talent in her fingers than the whole room of highly trained death eaters.
She could easily overpower and kill me. I just can’t do it.
Then I looked to the back of the room where my mother was standing with the servants and I knew in that instant, that I would do it. Yet again, I would sell my soul for that which I loved.
One of the death eaters jumped from the corner and threw their mask on the floor.
” my Aunt Bellatrix ridiculed.
“You really think itty baby Draco can handle an elemental?”
“Dare you question me Bella?”
“No my Love”
She whispered. She shrunk back from whence she came, not before shooting me a look of pure abhorrence.
“May I remind everyone in this room that Draco, though, young, has proved himself to be more than competent. He is resourceful and quick on his feet. I believe he will do well with this.
Now you are all dismissed; Draco take her and find a safe place for her. Make sure no one, and I mean No one but I know where that is.”
I could swear that as he said this he shot a glare in Bella’s direction.
“Yes, my lord”
I lifted the girl into my arms and took her to my bedroom.
Think, Draco think
I urged myself. Where could I store away a girl without anyone knowing about it.
The answer dawned on me rather quickly.
I lifted her into my arms again and apparated to the only place I could think of.
The Shrieking Shack
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