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Badgers, Blushing and Gods of Lurve by LaylaBethJagger
Chapter 10 : Wackiest Bird Since Errol
Rating: MatureChapter Reviews: 17

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10. Wackiest Bird Since Errol



It was told this morning that several of the surviving death eaters from the Great War, have escaped their cells in Azkaban.

Escaping Azkaban was once called impossible, however proved wrong by the felon Sirius Black over twenty years ago, and then another breakout, believed to have been helped by Black, by other renowned Death Eaters, such as Bellatrix Lestrange, and husband Rodolphus Lestrange.

Luckily, for the populous, both Lestrange’s were killed in the war. The two were known around the wizarding world for driving the Aurors’s Alice and Frank Longbottom insane by use of the Cruciatus Curse.

This most recent escape has caused widespread panic through the wizarding community. Rumours of the consequences of the last escape have blown to wide proportions, which have driven the community in large to withdraw children from schools, and retreat out of the country.

Minister of Magic, Kingsley Shacklebolt, says “It is important in times like these that we remain calm and collected. The time that we spend pacing will be used against us. Nothing will come off this escape, and we will recapture them very soon.”

His words of authority have done nothing to cease the widespread panic.

The amount of people leaving the city is wide, and even the decision to remove Dementors from the Prison is being called into question.

“They were our best assurance that there would be no escapes from the Prison and now that they are gone, it makes it all the more easy for the prisoners to escape.” Ministry official representation for the Department of Protection of Society, said.

People who left the side of Dark have been put under red alert, in case any attempt to contact them. One of the specific ex-Death Eaters, says that he “fears for his life,” with this new development. As well as fearing for the life of his family.

Among the escapees are Augustus Rookwood, Rabastan Lestrange, Walden MacNair, and Antonin Dolohov, who were all major participants in the war.

People are warned to lock their doors at night, and cast all spells that will keep them secure in their homes. If you see any of these people, do not approach, because they are violent and extremely dangerous—all being imprisoned on accounts of murder or use of the unforgivable spells.

Cont. page 7.

“Well,” I said frowning. “If that isn’t extremely unsettling, then I don’t know what is...”

Rose looked at the article for a moment and then back to her breakfast. “I’ll tell you something scarier.” She said.

“My Transfiguration Preparation exam. I’m so going to fail.”

I couldn’t chose between shouting at her for not freaking out about the Death Eaters, or shouting at her for freaking out about a test that she would surely ace.

I went with the first option.

“How does this not worry you?” I asked, astonished.

Rose looked back at the article. “Sure it worries me.” She said with a sigh. “But I won’t let it affect my studies. If, on the small chance that they do attack Hogwarts, I might die, which is rather frightening.”

Rather frightening?

It was downright petrifying.

“However, on the large chance that they won’t attack and kill me, I’ll still be prepared for life beyond this place. Don’t forget I graduate this year.”

Rose stared at me seriously.

I sighed, “I haven’t forgotten,” I said slowly, “Trust me. And while we’re focussing on school work, I need help with my Charmsies.”

Before she said anything else, I lifted my charms book onto the table. I made to open it, before Rose held it down.

“Tip Number One.” She said seriously. “Stop calling it Charmsies.”

I pushed her hand off the textbook and then pulled out my parchment, which was supposed to hold my homework.

“I had some trouble with the homework.” I told her.

She frowned. “In what way?”

I shrugged, “I didn’t do it.”

Rose stared at me, dejectedly for a moment.

Then she sighed, “I've done some of your homework and found out the only solution is the final solution.” She nodded, sounding sure of herself.

“Nuke the school?” I guessed excitedly. “I like that.”

Rose stared at me. Then she shook her head. “No...”

“I don’t know,” Albus said sitting down. “That sounds like a pretty foreseeable plan.” He seated himself beside Rose, and Scorpius, seeing his arrival in the Hall, left the Slytherin table and joined us, sitting beside me.

“What is?” he asked.

“Nuking the School.” I said offhandedly, offering him the plate of bacon. “What do you think?”

Scorpius looked thoughtful. “Good plan. You know anyone we can ship the supplies in from?”

He caught Rose’s expression.

“...I mean... No. That would be irresponsible of us almost adults...?”

He shot her a charming smile.

Rose glowered at him.

“For you information,” She said heatedly. “The School wouldn’t be damaged even if there were a nuclear explosion. Not to mention that no one inside would be even touched by the radiation. However, numerous livestock and innocent lives would be lost, if you were to try and use an atom bomb to get out of doing Charms homework.”

She folded her homework. She didn’t look upset with us, just kind of frustrated. “Katie, I’m scheduling another Tutoring session this morning in second period this morning. I suggest that you get the books we need for a Charm session.”

She neatly folded her bacon on her fork and put it in her mouth, smirking at our speechless expressions.

She watched Scorpius closely, and for a second I though it might have been her crush on his that was making her stare at him. But then I saw her smirk. There was an ulterior motive at work here.

Scorpius lifted his glass of Juice to his lips and took a large gulp.

“Did you guys hear about the escape from Azkaban?” She said suddenly. .

Scorpius very quickly spat all his drink out, which subsequently covered Albus. Albus didn’t look too happy, and Scorpius began coughing so violently I thought I might have to give him the Heimlich manoeuvrer.

Instead I high-fived Rose under the table.

When they both recovered, Rose was smirking at them, as she daintily sipped from her own juice. Albus frowned at her, grabbing some napkins and dabbing at his cheeks, which were dripping with a mix of juice and Scorpius’s saliva.

“You’re going to hell.” Scorpius kindly informed her.

She just shrugged.

“Now,” Scorpius continued. “What is this about Azkaban escape?”

Rose passed him The Quibbler that I had just been reading. Apparently the magazine was much more reliable as Luna Lovegood began to take advice on what to publish from her Husband, our good ol’ Professor Longbottom.

Albus snatched it from her hand before Scorpius could grip it, and read it first. Scorpius took the time to take another swill of his drink, and down any scratchy throaty thing that I knew he would have been feeling.

“What the hell do we do?” Albus said instantly, dropping the magazine which Scorpius very quickly picked up.

“That’s what I said,” I exclaimed excitedly pointing at him. “See?” I told Rose, “That’s the rational response to something like this.”

“Have you owled your Mum and Dad?” Albus asked. “Have you owled my Mum and Dad?”

Rose frowned at him. “I’ve owled my parent’s to see if they’re okay. And I’ve already talking to Hugo. I have not spoken to your family, simply because I don’t have time. I’ve got to prepare for my Preparation test in Transfiguration this afternoon.”

Albus was silent for a moment, before stating loudly. “You are a Cyborg.”

Rose shrugged, “At least Cyborgs won’t fail their Preparation Test in Transfiguration.”

Albus frowned. Then he looked at Scorpius. “Do you have any parchment?” He asked frantically. Scorpius felt his pockets for a moment, but then shook his head.

Albus felt his pockets as well, before finding something in his pocket.

“I’ve only got this.” He said slowly. Then he sighed. “It’s a letter from Leanne Reynolds in the fifth year,”

More out of jealousy—I’ll admit—than curiosity I asked, “What’s it about?”

Scorpius snorted, and Albus smirked. Rose looked at me sympathetically.

“She told me to meet her on the third floor broom closet in first period this morning. I have a free.” Albus was smirking.

Oh. So do I. That’s cool. This is Albus Potter. He can do what he wants with countless girls in the Third Floor Broom closet and I wouldn’t care.

Rose wasn’t about to be pushed over, however. “Katie has a free this morning as well.”

Albus grinned. “Cool, I’ll hang with you. Scorpius is ditching me for Astronomy with Rosie-posie.”

I frowned, “What about Leanne Reynolds?”

Albus shrugged. “Shouldn’t have put faith in a surreptitiously disposed note put in my breakfast.”

Huh. That’s… very much like a guy.

“Quill, anyone?”

I handed him mine, partly because I love this boy down to his wonderful socks, and partly because it was already in my hand from withdrawing my Charms homework.

“Dear Mum and Dad,” He narrated.

“I am safe. Hope you are as well. Will look after Lily. Tell James not to do anything stupid. Give family my Love. Tell Teddy that Ravenclaw won weekend match.”

Even though that was where he stopped narrating, he didn’t stop writing. He wrote for a couple more sentences and then smiled at the paper.

“All my manly love, Al.”

He smiled, and handed me back the quill.

Thinking of Albus writing a note to his family, I figured it was only fair that I write a note to my parents. They’d be worried sick, and I’d have to make sure they’re safe while I’m away.

Maybe they should go and stay with Uncle Andy in Australia.

I reached into my Charms book and ripped out the back page. Rose let out an aghast noise like a dying cat, and both Albus and Scorpius grinned, chuckling.

“Brave move.” Scorpius said.

I shrugged, “It’s just the glossary.”

Rose squeaked.

I began to write my own letter.

Dearest Parents of Mine,

“I will have you know, Kathryn Dalton, that a Glossary is as important as any other part in the text.”

Sorry if the owl freaks you out a little. He’s really wonderful and you know it. I’m just writing because I’ve just received a rather disconcerting little newspaper, which worries me greatly.

“It helps you figure out the meaning of the misunderstood words, and it is extremely helpful when studying.”

I’m gonna send you the paper, but I think that you guys should probably get out of England, just while you can. Being the once magic now muggle parents of a witch, you’re at a pretty high risk.

“And I can’t believe that you would desecrate your school books in such a manner.”

Why don’t you go and stay with Uncle Andy and the hell twins in Australia. I’ll be fine here, Hogwarts safety and all that jazz. The teachers’ll look after me.

“It is extremely upsetting that you wouldn’t care about your learning enough to commit such treason towards your learning.”

Lots and lots of love, and please leave the country, Katie.

I looked up at Rose as I folded the page. She seemed to be heavy breathing, as though I was committing a felony and she couldn’t tell anyone about it.

“Sorry, pardon?” I said, seriously not knowing what she had been going on about while I was writing my letter.

Scorpius snorted. Then he raised his glass in cheers to me.

“You are my idol, twinkle toes.” He told me seriously. He looked to Rose. “Finally, someone you can’t boss around with your namby pamby study principles.”

Rose narrowed her eyes at him. “You’re right,” She said through clenched teeth. She lifted her glass to her mouth and continued to go on with breakfast.

As though she was totally at ease.

I called over Scrubs, the owl that my parents had bought me on my first trip to Diagon Alley. As Scrubs flew at us, Rose, who had encountered him previously, lifted her breakfast plate and glass. He would mess with the parents heads.

Now, don’t get me wrong. My parents are wizards. Well, my dads a wizard and my mums a witch etc. And I love them both to death.

But they have their issues.

Ever since cutting themselves off from the wizarding world they’ve refused to even look at the news, use their wands, or speak via owl contact. And now, after that long without magic, they basically act like your usual, run of the mill, clumsy old muggles—this is probably where I get the clumsy from.

So Scrubs is gonna freak them out.

Scrubs collided with the table at a fast speed, stopping right in front of Albus who swore.

See? He messes with wizards! What is he going to do to two people who can’t stand the thought of magic any more?

I grinned, leaning forward and tapping him.

Scrubs jumped to attention. “Sup, buddy?” I asked him brightly.

He turned his head ninety degrees to the left. I took that as ‘Hello, Kate. How are you?’

In my mind, this bird is very intellectual.

“Can you take this to Mummy and Daddy for me?” I asked him. I tied the note to his leg.

He squawked loudly, which made Albus swear again, and then took off.

“That is the wackiest bird since Errol.” Albus said seriously.

Scorpius sighed, “I miss that bird.”

Rose remained silent up till this point. But then…

“Oh, by the way, Scor…” Rose said, leaning towards him across the breakfast table. I saw the revenge form in her eyes.

“I had a dream about you last night.”

This would not end with someone’s dignity intact.

Scorpius frowned, looking over at Rose. “Yeah?”

She nodded. “It was really hot and sweaty. And it was just you and me, in your dorm room. And then I just couldn’t stop shouting out your name…”

Scorpius looked relatively into this. Albus and Fred looked kind of disgusted. And I just didn’t want to know.


Scorpius’s face fell as everyone began laughing. By the time I could think any rational thought, I was crying, and looking right at Scorpius.

“I will hunt you down for this.” He told me. “You will never be safe.”

“Oh Merlin,” Albus said, pulling me behind him. “I’ll protect you from the Bleached Wonder…”

And we were off again.


“Do exactly what Rose told us to do.” I answered quickly, as though I knew what I was talking about.

“Which was…?” Albus looked at me.

I was silent for a second.


Albus dropped his head in his hands. It was a sign.

“Oh god,” I exclaimed, dejectedly. “You’re right. She’s going to kill me.”

“No…” Albus said suddenly, lifting his head form his hands. “She won’t kill you…”

I narrowed my eyes. “You’re right.” I confirmed what he told me. “She’s going to work out her differences with Scorpius, and then they’ll both combine together with her wisdom and his...” I frowned, thinking of a suitable description or Scorpius. “… suitable knowledge about Hair care, and then they’ll both kill me—and it’ll be painful, Albus.”

“Kate, you gotta calm down…”



I flinched under the harsh glare of Madame Reed. Then I turned back to Albus. “Almost as painful as that.”

“Okay…” Albus said, ignoring what I was saying. “Let’s think—”


Of course I didn’t say that to him. He’s my soul mate.

He just doesn’t know it yet.

He’s also my pity friend. If it weren’t for me, he could be groping a fifth year in the broom closet on the third floor.

Oh God, I’m pathetic.

Instead of telling him all that, I said:

“Yes, lets…”

“What did Rose say? Before the perfectly executed burn on our mutual friend, Mister Malfoy?” Albus asked, chuckling at the memory of Scorpius’s bright red face.

I was having trouble recalling anything before that moment as well. But, it would seem that Albus had a better trained memory than me. Or at least, more effective methods of making me remember things.

“Think about it, Katie.” He said. “Think about how angry Rose’ll be if you don’t remember.”

Good God, that’s a scary thought.


Uh… she was laughing at Scorpius. She made Scorpius spit out all his food. She had a test to prepare for, as if she needed more information to fit into her head.


“OOH!” I said loudly. “I GOT IT!”



I grinned guiltily at Madame Reed. She glowered back.

“I got it…” I leant forward, whispering to Albus. “She told me that I needed to find book suitable for the charms session she was scheduling for this afternoon.”

Which I am now dreading with every single fibre of my being.

But, what the hey? If I’m dead anyway, I might as well work my way to the good books. And showing up to the tutoring session seemed to be the only intelligent option.

“Alright.” Albus said nodding. “So… what are you doing in charms right now?”

I once again tried to make my memory work in my favour. This time, Merlin seemed to be on my side.

“Flicks!” I exclaimed. “And swishes.”

“The swish and flick?” Albus echoed skeptically.

I nodded, proudly.

“We did that in first grade, Kate.”

Well, apparently Merlin did hate me.

Thanks a bunch, God.

“Alright.” I said slowly. “That’s not it.”

I narrowed my eyes and Albus. “Okizzay…” I said slowly. “How many curses, and or hexes do you think Rose actually knows how to perform? Just give me a rough estimate.”

Albus shrugged. “She’s memorized the entirety of the hex and curses section of the library.”

I flinched.

Not Good.

“And why…” I continued to try and remain non-hysterical. “…Would you say, she did that? It’s isn’t, because she knew one day that she’d have to teach me a lesson about not paying attention in real lessons?”

Oh God I hope not.

“Could be…” Albus said, grinning.

I slumped in my chair, letting my head fall to the desk with a bang. I knew Madame Reed was once again glaring at me, but this time I couldn’t see it.

I’m gonna count that as a free pass.

“I’m just kidding, Kate.” Albus said, “Rose studied them, because despite what she says, she is scared of some big bad coming this way for her and her family.”

I nodded, seriously. It was probably something a child of the Weasley’s or the Potter’s would have to deal with.

“Okay.” I said. “That means I don’t need to be so worried about her having premeditated the murder that I expect is to come in my future. There is still the big risk of her just getting a little too angry.”

Albus grinned. “So… find someone else in your class? Someone who actually does the work?”

The man’s a genius.

“That,” I said grinning. “Is an extraordinarily fabbo suggestion.”

Albus bowed his head. “Thank you,” He said proudly.

I scanned the library. Smart people are always in the library. Smart people in my class are always in the library.

Scanning… Scanning… Scanning


Job Idea! I could be one of those women who record their voices on Muggle compoopers and then they read out every single thing someone writes on the screen.

“Hey, Albus, I just realized—”

“Focus, Katie.” Albus reminded me.

I frowned, pouting, but looked away and continued to scan the library for students.


Charmaine and Oz were sitting in the far corner, both studying what looked to be potions. Charmaine I knew wasn’t angry at me. I wasn’t sure why, but she wasn’t.

Oz, on the other hand, had spent the last few days keeping a comfortable and silent distance from me, which is what brought me to befriend Wallace.

“They’re in your class, right, Katie?” Albus asked.

I looked up at him, no joke in my face. Please, please, please, get it Albus.


Looks like he got it.

“Are they both angry at you?” He asked. “Because is Charmaine is being all shallow about us, then I have to give her a piece of my mind.”

I shook my head. “It’s not Char. It’s Oz.”

But why was it Oz? Sure, he was good friends with Eric, and with Emily. But he was just as close to me. And he had often stated that Eric must have been overstating his hate for the Potter-Weasley clan.

And Oz was a forgiving guy. And I had helped him through a whole lot of things in his life, specifically his crush on Charmaine which Emily and Eric had been too dull to notice.

Albus nodded his head in understanding. “We could go and look for other people in your class.”

And he had obviously gotten somewhere on my advice. He was sitting there studying with her, for god’s sake.


“No.” I said suddenly, looking away form Oz and Char, to Albus. “I’m gonna go and talk to them.”

Albus smiled, almost proudly. “Good for you, Katie.”

I stood from the desk.

Oh, God, oh god.

I leant backward, from the first step I had been about to take. I felt Albus’s hands on my shoulders, pushing me forward, and then I got so unfocused that I almost swooned.

“Whoa…” Albus said. “You alright?”

I nodded, trying to stay upright. His hands with on my waist now, holding me up.

Holy. Shit.

“Yeah…” I mumbled, trying to regain dignity by regaining my footing.

I trod on Albus’s foot, and he laughed. “Crap, Katie. These people must make you nervous.”


“Sure.” I said. “That’s it.”

He looked worriedly down at me. “You're sure you're up to this?” He asked.

I was beginning to regain my footing.

“Don't worry.” I assured him. “I won't do anything that could be interpreted as brave.”

He chuckled at that.

“Don’t worry, Katie.” He said, “I got you.”

That almost made me swoon again.


I really have to get over this crush.

“Come on. Think of Rose’s wrath.”

That snapped me out of my loved up stupor. I was nodding, ready to go straight away, after that. Albus laughed loudly, and that got him a glare from Madame Reed.

“Oh, god…” I moaned, as soon as we were only metres from their table. “This was a bad idea…”

“No, no, No.” Albus promised. “This was a good idea. This was brave. This was mature. You’re doing wonderfully.”

“I’m not made for that. Smart ideas belong to people in Ravenclaw, people who are Brave belong in Gryffindor and people who are mature are teachers.” I justified.

Albus pushed me so hard that I almost flew through the air, and then landed right in front of their table.

Charmaine and Oz stared at me.

“Hi…” I said, trying to be charming. “So… I was in the neighbourhood.”

Albus, who had cowardly hidden behind the nearest bookcase snorted. It took all my willpower not to turn around and glare.

“We all live at this school, Katie.” Charmaine told me.

Small obstacle. Can get past this easily.

“That is such a coincidence…”

Fail, Katie, Fail.

Oz had been staring firmly down at the book in his hands, until that point. Then he closed the book, folded his hands across the cover of the book, and then looked up at me.

“Have a seat, Katie.” He said, smiling at me. “And tell your friend he can come out from behind the bookshelf.”


So…? Cliffhanger, which I hope brings in the reviews. If you do review, you can go to heaven, and hang with God.

I hope you like this story, even with the lack of her old friends. Her relationships with Rose and Scorpius and Albus are all developing now—which I think is good.

Please review.


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