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Chapter 10 : Absolute Lunacy
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“Pure love produces pure nonsense.” – Johnathon Kilinger
“Absolutely barking mad I tell you! Completely insane!”
A variety of multi-colored blouses, dresses, shoes and slacks sailed through the air towards the black leather trunk at the base of Jessie’s bed. Remus was reclining on said bed, an amused smile on his lips, as he watched his dear blonde haired friend absentmindedly throw things into the trunk as she screamed obscenities and cursed Albus Dumbledore to hell and back.
“First he tells me ‘Oh no Jessie, Sirius can’t possibly know you’re alive. The world will end if Sirius knows you’re alive’ and then he goes and bloody sticks me in the same bloody house as him for my bleeding protection! Absolute lunacy!”
Remus raised an eyebrow as Jessie began stripping her bookshelf of its contents.
“Yes Professor let’s stick me in the same bloody house for an unknown amount of time with Sirius Bloody Black. The house will be blown up in a week!”
“I would certainly hope not…” Remus chuckled.
Jessie continued with her rant, “Fan-fucking-tastic this is going to be. Blooming wonderful,” she grabbed the pillows from her bed and added them to the trunk. She yanked the comforter from underneath Remus as well and stuffed it in.
“Fucking stupid,” And with that she slammed her trunk shut and plopped down on it. Remus laughed to himself as he looked at Jess, who was now sulking.
“Ready to go then?” Remus asked pulling out his wand. Jessie scowled at him, “No.”
“Excellent,” He looked at his watch, “And right on schedule to. I told Sirius we would be back in time for dinner.”
“I have to eat dinner with him?” Jessie looked horrified at the prospect.
“Yes?” Remus said slowly.
All the color drained from Jessie’s face and her eyes grew wide. She dove at the foot of her bed and clung to the leg of it like a child. Her bottom lip trembled as a look of terror took over her features. Remus simply raised an eyebrow, “Jess, a week ago you were complaining hourly about him not knowing you were alive. A few months ago you were slowly turning into a ghost because you were never going to get to see him again. A now that you have to eat dinner with him you’re running away.”
Jessie rolled her eyes.
“Don’t even start Jessabelle, we are leaving and you will be attending dinner whether you like it or not. No Jessabelle! Keep it up and I will make you sit next to him,” Remus crossed his arm, shrunk Jessie’s trunk and put it in his pocket, “Come on Jess,” He extended a hand and Jessie frowned. She looked one last time at her room and sighed. She un-wrapped her arms from the post and walked over to Remus. Remus ruffled her hair and took her hand, “I promise I won’t let you kill one another,” he smiled as they walked to the fireplace.
Jessie raised an eyebrow, “Well then Mr. Lupin, methinks you have your work cut out for you.”
One handful of floo powder, two flashes of green light and one coughing Jessie later the two arrived back at the kitchen of Grimmlaud Place covered in soot.
Jessie brushed the soot off of her pants as she coughed, “Bloody Fireplace,” she hissed. Remus looked heavenward, flicked his wand and both he and Jess were soot free.
Jessie furrowed a brow, “How’d you do that?”
“Magic!” Remus said sarcastically, “Sirius?” he called as he walked out of the kitchen, Jessie scurried after him, she had no desire to be left alone in the creepy old manor.
“Padfoot?” Jessie’s heart twinged at the sound of the old nickname.
“Careful of the floorboard in front of you Je… Celestina, it’s a bit weak,” Remus muttered as they walked down the dimly lit hallway. Jessie nodded and scooted even closer to Remus. Creepy house was creepy. The ancient wallpaper was peeling and the gas lamps along the walls were caked with grime and soot. Every once in a while they would pass the head of a house elf on a plaque. Jess had known Sirius’ family was a bit off, but she had never realized exactly how disturbed they had been.
“He’s probably with Witherwings,” Remus sighed as they reached the end of the hallway. He rapped his knuckles on the door in front of them. Jessie, for once, remained silent at his side. She was too busy concentrating on breathing.
Suddenly the door flew open, a decidedly disheveled Sirius Black stood in the entryway, “Moony,” he grinned, his shaggy hair falling into his face, “Brought back our lovely guest in one piece I see,” he winked at Jessie. Jessie gaped at him, was he seriously flirting with her? Azkaban really had fucked up his brain then. You should be bloody married right now, she wanted to scream at him; however, she bit her tongue and just raised an eyebrow at him.
Remus sighed, “More than a decade in Azkaban really didn’t help you manners Sirius. Did you figure out where,” he stopped himself from saying Jessie, “Celestina will be staying.”
“Ah yes, right this way Remmy dear,” Sirius ran a hand through his hair and grinned at the pair, “Follow me Ms. Warbeck.”
Jessie glanced at Remus who just smiled at her.
“Molly Weasley fixed the room up herself. Although it may not be up to your usual standards Ms. Warbeck, I do believe you shall be comfortable,” Sirius said merrily as they walked down the hall.
Jessie rolled her eyes. She couldn’t quite decide if she wanted to snog him or strangle him.
“Ah, here we go,” Sirius opened a dark wooden door and Remus and Jessie filed into the room after him.
It was quite a lovely room. The walls, bad linens and hanging, and ceiling were a light blue. The carpet was a darker shade of blue. All the wood in the room was a dark mahogany.
Somehow Jessie found her tongue, “It’s lovely,” she said quietly. Sirius grinned at her. Remus’ eyebrows disappeared under his bangs as he pulled her trunk out of his pocket and un-shrunk it, “Here is your trunk Celestina. Dinner at what time Pads?”
“Seven o’clock sharp Remmy dearest,” Sirius grinned, “Both our rooms are down the hall Ms. Warbeck. Don’t hesitate to come find one of us if you need anything,” Sirius winked at her. Jessie smiled back at him, suppressing the urge to smack him upside the head, “You’re too kind Mr. Black.”
“Well I’ll be off. Must go make sure that pitiful excuse for a house elf is actually doing something,” Sirius muttered as he exited the room.
Once she was sure Sirius was long gone Jessie let out a breath she didn’t know she had been holding as she collapsed on the bed.
Remus chuckled, “You okay?”
“I can’t decide if I want to kiss him or kill him,” Jessie groaned, “I think Azkaban made him more of a prat.”
“Oh good, so I’m not the only one who’s come to said conclusion then?” Remus chuckled as he leaned against the doorframe.
“It’s like he’s sixteen again… prancing about after the nearest skirt… winking at the pretty barmaid…. Do you realize what I had to go through to get him to stop it all even after we were dating?” Jessie moaned, “It took an eternity because he doesn’t even realize he does it.”
“Sorry darling, It’s Sirius. You of all people should know he oozes moron and has about as much tact as a toad. I supose I should go make sure Casanova doesn’t kill the house elf,” Remus stood up and began to close the door behind him, “I’ll see you in an hour of so… Seven o’clock sharp Celestina!” and with that Remus shut the door.
Jess sent a rude hand gesture towards the closed door as she rolled over on the bed and stared about the room.
“Fuck my life.”
An hour later Jessie was freshly made up. Her Hair was brushed and curled, he make up had been touched up, and she had put on a fresh pair of dark wash jeans and a rather pretty black shirt that gathered below her bust line and flowed an inch or two past the top of her jeans. Remus had stopped by earlier and told her to put on something more casual than the stilettos and black dress she had worn to the meeting earlier; she had just rolled her eyes at him, of course she wasn’t wearing that to dinner. It was Sirius and Remus, not the Minister himself.
She creaked open the door and waltzed out of her room. After nearly getting lost a handful of times she finally made it down to the dining room where the meeting had been earlier.
“Ahh! Ms. Warbeck I see you found your way through the hell hole of a house,” Sirius sent an award winning smile her way as he leaned back in his chair. Jessie smiled back at him, “It wasn’t that hard Mr. Black,” she said, sarcasm biting every word. She knew when Sirius was being an ass to be an ass and this was one of those times.
Remus looked heavenward as Jessie took a seat next to him and across from Sirius, “Shall we eat?” he asked flicking his wand. A parade of dishes made their way into the room through the open archway from the kitchen and settled themselves on the table.
Jessie raised both eyebrows as she looked at the feast before them. She looked at Remus, who shrugged, “I figured since it was your first night here we might as well celebrate…”
“I did all the cooking myself!” Sirius interrupted, “Potatoes Ms. Warbeck?”
“You did all the cooking my ass,” Remus countered taking the bowl of potatoes from Sirius and handing it to Celestina, “You couldn’t boil water to save your life Padfoot.”
“He lies Ms. Warbeck, My cooking skill are world renowned,” Sirius winked. Jessie nearly snorted into her plate, Sirius cook? Once he’d almost burned his apartment down. The boy could cook two things cereal and waffles. How he could cook waffles she had no idea, but he really could. They were fluffy on the inside and crispy on the outside and just a hint of cinnamon…
“Celestina, don’t listen to a word he says…” Remus sighed as he took a bite.
“I believe I shall take your advice Remus,” Celestina grinned as she began to eat.
“So your first name is Celestina?” Sirius asked suddenly.
Jessie looked at Remus then at Sirius, “Umm… yes?” she said slowly.
“I’m going to call you CeCe,” Sirius said matter-of-factly as he spooned more potatoes into his mouth.
“May I enquire as to why Mr. Black?” Jessie said politely as Remus began having a “coughing fit” into his napkin.
Sirius sent an award winning grin Jess’ way in hopes of turning the singer into a puddle of goo, “It’s a beautiful nickname for a beautiful girl.”
Remus’ coughing fit got louder. Jessie simply raised an eyebrow and Sirius furrowed his in confusion. Why wasn’t she a puddle of metaphorical goo? Had Azkaban really stunted his charms that much? He was Sirius fucking Black for Merlin’s sake!
“Call me Sirius, Cece my love,” Sirius winked at Jessie. Remus was now crying he was “coughing” so hard.
Jessie rolled her eyes, “Mr. Black, as much as I appreciate your attempts to make me feel more welcome I must insist upon you calling me Ms. Warbeck or Celestina.”
Sirius grin dropped from his face and he asked Jessie stiffly, “May I inquire as to why love?”
“Because Mr. Black I am not your love and for that reason I must insist you address me properly,” Jessie stated simply as she met his gaze. She felt like she was on fire as she looked into his deep brown eyes. She couldn’t breathe… she was drowning… she…
“Very well then Ms. Warbeck,” Sirius smirked, “more potatoes?”
Remus refrained from banging his head against the tabletop.
So sorry for the wait. College is hard apparently, one would think after almost two years I would of figured that out by now, but alas I have not…
Let me know what you thought and thank you bunches for reading!
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