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Whoops? by Rose Red
Chapter 4 : Of Confusion, Confessions and Stunners
Rating: MatureChapter Reviews: 21

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That girl is seriously going to drive me crazy! First she hates me. Then she’s snogging me like her life depends on it. Then she slaps me! Then she’s apologizing and we’re snogging in the entrance hall! Make up your mind woman! Geez.

And of course Teddy had to be here to witness the whole fiasco (namely my life).

You are probably very confused. Let me explain.

You see Mara and I have a very….volatile relationship.

The problem? She hates my guts and I sort of hate her guts too.

Well most of the time.

That’s the complicated part you see? I most definitely used to hate her guts. I mean how could I not? She takes every opportunity to shite on Slytherin and it’s basically her favorite past time to charm Scorpius’s hair different colors.

Not to mention she stole my Rosie away.

Okay that is a terrible reason. Rosie Red and I are cousins and I’m pretty sure we haven’t gotten any less close, but still! Don’t look at me like that. It’s not funny!!!!

Alright so I am totally looking for reasons to hate the girl, but you don’t have to point it out...

Although I’m not going to lie it’s pretty freaking funny to wake up and have Scor’s hair be a rainbow array of neon colors. It’s even funnier to see the face he makes in the mirror once he notices.

Except those times when she dyes it (for lack of a better word) red and gold on Slytherin/Gryffindor quidditch game days. That’s just not on.

Okay okay, so I don’t hate Mara. But I really, really wish I did.

Why you ask? Because the alternative is much scarier. I don’t even want to ponder it. In fact the only time I’ve ever even hinted at such a thing (excluding right now) I was quite a ways into our handy supply of firewhiskey.

Stupid Teddy.

And they say he’s our confidant. More like our weakness exploiter and interrogator. Seriously I can’t even count the amount of things James and I have confessed to him over the years.

So yes. You are the only person who knows (no I’m not going to explicitly say what you know. Because do I know really? No.), except Teddy of course (also sometimes I think Scorpius has it figured out….stupid genius best friend. Why couldn’t I pick some dimwit like Gregory Crabbe or something?), so you better not tell anyone.

I mean it. You tell anyone, you’re going down.

Don’t doubt me. I probably wouldn’t even have to do any time in Azkaban. I am the son of Harry Potter after all. Having crazy people poking into your personal life has to have some benefits right?

Except the poking part totally and completely, without a doubt, outweighs them.

I mean yeah everyone needs a heavy doses of compliments sometimes but when there’s a hoard of lovestruck girls following you around with bleeding t-shirts you know it’s gone a little overboard.

I’m so glad I’m not James. No seriously.

When I was like thirteen I used to be envious of all the girls fawning over him and the attention he got for being a quidditch superstar and shite (I mean what little brother isn’t a teensy bit jealous of their older siblings? I know for a fact that James wanted to be just like Teddy when we were kids), but now? I wish I was still that scrawny thirteen year old Slytherin who happens to look uncannily like The Harry Potter.

Ah the life. Walking wherever I want, doing whatever I please, no crazy girls proposing to me in the hallways, no accidentally falling in love with stupid girls I wish I hated.

Wait, what?

Oh no, no, no.

I did not just admit that.

We’re going to erase that paragraph, yeah?


Oh no no, you cannot stay no to me! I’m Albus Severus Potter! Did you read the Potter part? Yeah? Good so you know that my word is final.

Having such a terrible name has to be good for something!

Also, I just want to clarify that this is possibly the most times I have ever tried to use the Potter name to evade trouble ever.

Like in my entire life.

Well actually there was that one time when we had this loon substitute for divination and I convinced her to let me and Scorp out of class early, but that hardly counts.

So yes. I never admitted that I lo—ahem. I never even talked to you about anyone named Mara unless it was to curse them all the way to hell and back.

Right. Yeah.

But she did feel really good in my arms earlier. You know when Lily forced us to hug at wandpoint?

Until I dropped her that is.

Don’t look at me like that! If I don’t act the part someone is going to catch on!

But Merlin maybe I don’t care. Seriously I would shout my...indecision...from the rooftops if I could snog her again.

That girl is good. Like amazingly good.

Seriously, like I’ve taken about three cold showers today good. It’s a problem.

Especially since I am apparently fake dating her now. Hey at least the Slytherin dorms won’t run out of hot water. Ever. Really, never. Well maybe the girls side.

“Oi Al you out of the shower yet?” And if I am Scorpius?

“Yeah you need the bathroom or something?” He better because if he’s noticed the amount of showers that I’ve taken today that could be bad.

Very, very bad.

Have I mentioned that my best friend is a genius?

Also my best cousin (that she’s a genius, not that Scorpius is my cousin. That would be a bit awkward)? Which is totally irrelevant, but it’s a serious problem (no not a Sirius problem. Merlin that joke got old the first day that James realized his names ‘potential’).

Not only am I going to give myself a complex for associating with only the exceptionally bright (except I can kick both their arses in potions, apparently I inherited it from my grandmum Lily), but they are also very difficult to keep secrets from.

But hey, worse comes to worse I can just blackmail him with that picture of Rose I found under his mattress that one time.

I don’t even want to know what it was doing there. No seriously, I try not to think about it.

Why I was looking under Scorpius’s mattress you ask? Oh no reason. None at all.

Okay, so maybe there might have been a spider on my bed curtains.

How does that relate at all you ask? Possibly because I somehow inherited my Uncle Ron’s deathly fear of spiders (a secret you are taking to your grave, by the way) and I may or may not have been hiding, in a very manly sort of way of course.

Yes underneath Scorpius’s mattress was the best hiding place I could find, don’t make fun of me!

“No, I’m just checking on your shower schedule. Yes I need the bathroom, why else would I be asking?” Oh you’re good Scor, but you’re not good enough.

I see that nearly invisible left eyebrow raising itself in challenge. But it is one challenge that I am not going to accept.

No seriously. He’s just waiting for me to blurt it out there for the world to hear, but it’s not going to happen mister!

Plus what is there to blurt really? I’m not even sure as of yet.

“I dunno Scorpius. Why else would you be asking?” Now I’ve raised my not nearly invisible eyebrow back. Both of them actually because as much as I’ve tried I cannot manage to raise one eyebrow.

It’s quite sad. Especially since Mara takes great pleasure in throwing that point in my face daily. Well hourly really, that girl raises one eyebrow at the slightest opportunity.

“I wouldn’t.” And with that he walked into the bathroom and closed the door. Quite loudly if I do say so myself.

We are so Slytherin-ey at times. But not in the mean, cruel disgusting pre-war way. More in a cunning, sly kind of way. Slytherin has made a much better name for itself lately if I do say so myself.

I’m not going to lie, I was pretty worried at my sorting. Even after my dad talked to me. Not because I thought Slytherin was bad or anything (my Dad made sure we knew all the houses were good growing up) but because I was afraid of what my family would say.

I am a Weasley/Potter after all. We go back Gryffindor for generations, and in fact my worst fears did come true.

Instead of cheering wildly like they did for everyone else, once the word Slytherin left the hat’s lips (well more like the hat’s mouthlike seam but that’s besides the point) the hall went dead silent.

No seriously, I don’t think I’ve ever heard it that quiet in there (except today when Mara and I silenced it with our bout of delicious snogging).

Man I have a hidden talent don’t I? No not snogging, that is quite an unhidden talent.

Especially lately, with all the ready and willing girls following me around.

What? I’m a bloke, tell me you didn’t think I wouldn’t even take the least bit of pleasure out of this situation.

I meant making the Great Hall go quiet.

Anyways, thankfully Teddy (who was a seventh year and head boy at the time) and James (a second year as you probably already know) didn’t even care about anyone else’s silence.

They started cheering their heads off just as loudly, if not louder than if I had been sorted into Gryffindor (the rest of my family cheered of course but those two were the ones who started it).

And hey, who argues with the son of a Marauder, godson of Harry Potter, head boy and quidditch captain Teddy Lupin and first born son of The Harry Potter, James Sirius Potter? No one that’s who.

I’m pretty sure I got the loudest applause out of everyone.


I love my family.

Speaking of, I’m supposed to be meeting James, Teddy and Fred in the Entrance Hall soon. They told me to bring Scorpius with me, in fact. Whoops, I forgot to tell him.

“Oi Scorp! You’re coming with me so hurry up. Don’t want to keep the future family waiting!” Haha. He hates it when I do that.

You remember when I mentioned the photo thing earlier? Well I am of the opinion that Scorpius Malfoy (my best friend) is madly in love with Rose Weasley (my best cousin). Which is bloody hilarious. Seriously, a Malfoy and a Weasley? Draco and Uncle Ron are going to go ballistic. It’s going to be hilarious.

Why am I of this opinion? There are way to many reasons. In fact I have made a comprehensive list.

Here we go:

Why Scorpius Malfoy is In Love with Rose Weasley:
By Albus Potter

1) He keeps a picture of her under his mattress
2) It’s a picture of her fully clothed. (just to clarify, I’m sure something icky was running through your dirty, dirty minds)
3) In a turtleneck.
4) His mannerisms go from a normal laid back guy to an extremely cocky (and a bit sleazy) manwhore whenever we get within two feet of her.
5) He has a thing for redheads (which worries me a bit, considering my family)
6) I catch him staring at her way to much to be normal
7) How else could it end?

So yes. That is my list. No I’m not a girl! Boys can analyze their friends love lives too!

Okay not really. I keep that list hidden away. Mostly because Scorpius would probably burn it and stop talking to me. Which is further proof of their love, really.

But anyways I’m a bit worried about this meeting actually.

Why you ask?

Well generally Scorpius is invited to family meetings, not dragged there, which means that this summer when we slipped him that dream/wish thing we were supposed to be testing for Uncle George’s shop and he had a whole psychotic episode about marrying Rose and living happily ever after, shook them up a little worse than I thought.

Oh you think I should have added that to my list somewhere?

Maybe, but don’t make fun of me! I’m a bloke (which we’ve already established). We don’t generally analyze our friends love lives.

Okay so I just totally contradicted myself and even used the exact same phrasing but don’t make fun of me! Please?

Ugh Scorpius, seriously? Put some clothes on would you? As much as I’m sure my dear cousin would love to see you in your current state (eww. Gross. Ew, ew, ew. I am never thinking that again) please for the love of Merlin put some clothes on!

Alright I may be exaggerating a little. He is wearing a towel after all, but that is not suitable clothing for being dragged along with me to the entrance hall where we are going to meet up with my crazed family members for his looming interrogation.

Yes definitely not suitable interrogation wear.

Especially since we’re talking about Fred and James here. Unless of course that towel is made of dragon hide and I just didn’t know it. Not very likely though.

“Erm, family meeting? Me? Forced? What? ” Hahaha, reducing a self proclaimed genius to stuttering and sentence fragments is my idea of a successful day. I’m pretty sure he just gulped audibly. Like in a movie. Poor, poor Scorpius.

“Yeah Scorp, I don’t know what’s going on actually. Fred and James just told me ‘we needed to talk’ and that I had to bring you.” His face! This is spectacular! I wish I had a pensieve just so I could preserve the memory of his current facial arrangement forever.

Well at least he’s conscious enough to dress himself. No, using the word conscious is not making this situation seem worse than it is.

His eyes are frozen permanently wide open in fright and he’s mechanically picking up clothes as if he can’t even see anything he’s grabbing.

Actually I’m pretty sure he can’t see, or is paying no attention to, what he’s picking out because he just took one of Lily’s skirts that she ‘accidentally’ packed in my trunk (after hers was exploding with Merlin knows what, of course) and brought it into the bathroom with him

And three. Two. One.

“Where in hell did we get a bleeding skirt? Merlin!” Hahaha Oh man, this is going to be interesting…

Oh shite. Teddy’s still here.

I think this is possibly the first time in my life I am actually dreading seeing him. Don’t look at me like that! Once James and Fred steal Scorpius and start his interrogation who is going to distract Teddy from interrogating me?

I saw that knowing look he was giving us earlier. If Mara suspects anything I’m going to kill that boy. Man. Thing.

Whatever, his age category isn’t important. It’s the killing part of the threat that you were supposed to concentrate on.

Not that I could anyway. Kill him I mean (even without the psychological barriers). Not only is Teddy bigger and stronger than me but he’s half werewolf and he recently completed Auror training. Which basically means I have no chance of escaping my impending doom. Shite.

Maybe we could just stay up here? I mean it’s not like Scorpius would object. He’s just as freaked out as I am at this point.

“Erm Scor? Want to just skip the family meeting this time?” Please say yes. Please, please, please just take my handout and say yes. Please?

It will be great! We can totally forget about this entire situation and go into hiding.


Worse comes to worse, I could have interrogated him myself. I might do it anyways. Rose is my favorite cousin after all.

James and Fred can interrogate Dom’s love interests. If she doesn’t murder them first. It’s the veela genes. They make her a bit nuts sometimes. But seriously can you imagine combining a veela temper with a Weasley temper?

What were Uncle Bill and Aunt Fleur thinking?

Poor Lorcan. Poor Teddy. But they’re asking for it I guess.

“Okay Al what’s going on?” Dammit. Stupid arse. Too perceptive for his own good.

“What are you talking about Scorpius? I’m trying to save your arse here! Why are you questioning it?” Guilt trip! Hopefully it will distract him from my very obvious dread of the coming meeting.

“Um let’s see. Maybe because I’m not an idiot? You fucking love getting me in trouble! I’m surprised you haven’t interrogated me yet yourself! Also the fact that you are so obviously dreading this meeting and seeing Teddy which is very unlike you. Not to mention the fact that you are fake dating Mara Leonidas your supposed enemy! The girl you despise more than spiders and cockroach clusters combined—”

We took a moment to cringe before Scorpius carried on with his rant.

“As your best mate I think I have reason to be worried.”

Damn. Now I feel like an arse for not letting him in on my crazy life. But to be fair he did spend most of today laughing hysterically at the terrible situation I’ve gotten myself into.

“Do you really want to know?” Please say no. You really don’t want to hear about my mess of a life Scorpius. I promise.

“Yes Al. I really want to know, hopefully before your head explodes from trying to keep all of this to yourself.”

“Okay, fine but remember you asked for it.”

“Hey Al! Not thinking of ditching your dearest brother are you?”

Holy Merlin! How does he do that? How did he even get our password? I certainly didn’t give it to him!

Although I am silently thanking him from saving me from the wrath of Scorpius’s questioning.

Except that he’s here to drag me to my doom in the form of Teddy’s questioning.

I really don’t know which is worse at this point.

“No James of course not.”

“Al you are the worst liar in the entire world. Plus don’t you have a new girlfriend to snog or something?” Ugh stupid James and his stupid smirk. Which just so happens to look exactly like mine so I shouldn’t be complaining, but we’ll just pretend it doesn't for the sake of argument. Not that we’re arguing but that’s besides the point.

Also, what is he smirking at? Why do I get the feeling that everyone here thinks that they know something I don’t? What is going on?

“James what is going on? Why are you smirking at me?”

“Albus, don’t worry about it.”

“James I am worried because generally when you smirk something blows up in my face.”

“Albus, are you saying you don’t trust your brother? Your own flesh and blood? What have I ever done to deserve this mistreatment?”

“James do you know how much of a drama queen you are? Heavy emphasis on the queen part.”

“Albus I hate you. First you actually state your lack of faith in me and then you insult my masculinity. You are the worst brother of all time.”

“James what is with the first name business we have going on right now?”

“Albus that is a very good question. I have no idea.”

I can see you sniggering over there. What? Don’t you have a brother? Exactly so please stop laughing at our idiotic and slightly juvenile tendencies.


Stupid older brothers. I can’t wait until he’s a frail old man and it will be a good thing that I’m younger. Who’ll be putting who in the headlocks then, hmm?

“Come on mucker stop fighting me. We have to go see Teddy now.”

“Nooooooooooooooooo!” He can’t make me! He won’t! I’m not going.

That was a manly shriek of ‘Nooo‘ by the way. Just for clarification purposes.

Dammit. Why does he have to be stronger than me? WHY? It’s completely unfair.

And this is very embarrassing. Even Scorpius is laughing through his shocked stupor. I bet I can read his mind right now.

“Ha. Karma’s a bitch Al. Sucks for you buddy.” Yep. I was right. Stupid Malfoy.

Maybe I’ll turn him into a ferret. Except in an attempt to subdue me from rebellion James has stolen my wand. Grrr.

Yes growling was completely necessary. I never explained my current situation did I?

Well dear reader folk, I am currently slung over the shoulder of my dearest older brother James Potter, kicking and screaming, as he calmly walks out of the Slytherin Common room.

Which just so happens to be full of people.

Great. As if my ego really needed more hits today.

Where are we going? Seriously the Shrieking Shack? Why can’t we just stay in the castle just this once?

“Albus stop making that face. No we can’t stay in the castle it’s tradition.” How does he do that? Stupid James. I am currently facing directly at his arse and he still knows exactly when I pull faces.

Maybe he’s a legilimens?

Hahahahhaha. Yeah right. James cares about as much about school as Uncle George did.

Pfft. Legilimens. I must be losing it.

Maybe it’s due to the copious amounts of blood currently racing into my skull for being in this position for much too long.

“Will you please let me down? I can walk you know.”

“Yeah right Al. More like run as fast as you can in the other direction. Not going to happen there buddy.” Hah. At least he knows I can beat him in something.

I just so happen to be a faster runner than one James Sirius Potter. Of course Lily is a faster runner than me so it’s not really that much of an accomplishment. Plus James is a much better catcher than I am, so it doesn’t really matter how fast I run.

That’s a bit weird actually. You’d think that me being a Slytherin and all I’d be better at planning and evading escape. Hmm. Also the fact that I happen to catch snitches for a living while he races around with an enormous and brightly colored ball. Seriously I don’t understand the appeal of chasing, where’s the challenge? Not that I’d ever tell mum that. She’d probably murder me in my sleep or something.

It’s a good thing they got one of each (plus Lily). I can’t imagine what would be going on in that house if we were both chasers or seekers. I don’t even want to think about it for too long. Yes our family is that obsessed with quidditch. Were half Weasley, what can you do?

“Finally. I was starting to think you let Al escape this time James.” Oh. Shite. We’re here. Damn I had temporarily forgotten my impending doom while pondering my lack-thereof evasions skills. Well James-evasion really.

Right. Back on topic.

Teddy. Shite.

“I think we need to have a chat with Scorpius first don’t you think?”

Wait, Hugo?

Since when does he come to these things? Well I guess being a fourth year has to give him some rights.

Plus approximately half of this meeting (though, hopefully they’ll forget about me and it will all revolve around her, but I’m pretty sure that’s not going to happen) is going to revolve around Rose so I guess it’s his prerogative as her brother. But if she finds out about this he’s totally being included in the epic Rosie Smackdown.

No we will not be smacking down the Rosie. I probably should have phrased that as ‘Rosie’s Epic Smackdown’ instead.

That still doesn’t clarify, does it? Basically she’s going to take us down.

All five of us (maybe six depending on the testimony of one Scorpius Malfoy). Teddy included.

Yeah, she’s a ridiculous dueler. Let’s just say I’d never want to get on her bad side.


Anyways we are all sitting around this huge round table in the dining room of the Shrieking Shack. It used to be upstairs and it has all these crazy scratches on it but we’ve refurbished the surface over the years. And fixed the legs. And...well okay so we basically built a new table, but that’s besides the point.

“So Scorpius. What are you’re intentions with our Rosie?” Is it bad that I can’t hear Teddy’s voice without cringing? Does that prove my guilt or something?

Wait, guilt? Over what? I have nothing to be guilty of! So why am I dreading this meeting?

My subconscious is confusing me.

“What are you all talking about? Intentions? Rose Weasley is my school rival. She happens to be my best friends cousin. I have no intentions” Oh he’s good. A little too good actually. You see against all stereotype Scor cannot harness the Malfoy glaciosity.

Are you making fun of my words? Well it’s not made up so there! Alright, so I read it in one of Lily’s pink books but that’s besides the point!

Yes it was necessary to put the color description in there.

You see I have noticed that all of her books that happen to have the color pink dominating their covers happen to be corny little girl books about true love and snogging.

Which means I probably should not have just confessed to you that I was reading one…


Anyways. Back to Scorpius.

He cannot harness the glaciosity of the Malfoy clan. Usually he’s a heaping mess (no really. I think all the repressed emotions of previous Malfoy’s exploded out of their confinement and manifested in poor Scorpius). So him standing stoically and calmly stating ‘I have no intentions’ obviously means the exact opposite.

And girls think we can’t read between the lines. Pfft.

Now the question is do I take this answer and save my best friend from the trials and tribulations of a Weasley family interrogation, or do I save myself by creating an enormous scene about Scorpius so everyone will forget my current predicament?

“Right Scorpius. That’s why you keep a picture of her in your mattress.” Whoops? Hehe. I wasn’t supposed to tell anyone about that was I? Oh well what can you do? Blood is thicker than water and all that.

Agh! Did I say Scorpius couldn’t harness the past glaciosity of previous Malfoy generations?

That may be true but he definitely has the glare down.

“Al! Some mate you are.” Not going to lie he’s a tad scary when he’s mad. Possibly I won’t be revealing his closely guarded secrets ever again.

“What do you mean, under his mattress? Al you are being demoted from your position as Rose’s favorite cousin! Why was this information not immediately disclosed? And Scorpius you’re never allowed within ten feet of my sister ever again.”


I never knew Hugo could be so demanding. Usually he’s a pretty laid back kid.

But if I ever found out that one of Hugo’s friends slept with a picture of Lily under his mattress I think I’d be a little peeved.

Okay a lot peeved.

Like curse them to oblivion and back peeved.

Probably telling everyone about that was quite the risk to Scorpius’s life. That’s not very good. My best mate better make it out of this alive.

“Explain yourself Malfoy.” Oh man. This is very bad. Very, very bad. They’ve reverted to last names. I may have just been the cause of my best friend’s death.

“ wasn’t…” Stop looking at me all hopeless-like Scorpius! This isn’t my fault!

Okay lies. This is totally and completely my fault.

Oh Merlin, Albus to the rescue again.

“Guys, call off the dogs maybe it wasn’t his picture after all.” Okay I seriously have no idea where I’m going with this. The greater part of my family is looking at me like I’m mad right now.

“Erm Al? How would a picture of Rose that didn’t belong to Scorpius end up under Scorpius’s mattress?” Great James, what a wonderful brother you are. Exposing the hole in the middle of my extremely shaky plan.

“Um...well...I was...erm looking at the photo album before I hid under his mattress and it might have gotten stuck to my bum?” Oh Merlin. I am seriously the least spontaneous person of all time. Stuck to my bum, really?

Now everyone is just looking at me like I’m psycho. Again.

“Al, how in Merlin’s name did you get a picture of Rose stuck to your arse and what were you doing under Scorpius’s mattress?”

Oh no. How am I going to explain that one? Scorpius better appreciate this. Thanks a lot Fred.

“Um. Spiders?” Hey. it’s a room full of Weasley men. Well and Scorpius, but he doesn’t count. The word spiders invokes so much cringing that any conversation is immediately forgotten. I’m going to have to remember their reaction for future awkward situations.

“Anyways, so Al what the hell is going on? I thought you and Mara called off the plan and what not?”

Bollocks. I should have just let them kill Scorpius after all.

“What? Mara? Snogging? Plan? Hmm?” Oh Merlin. My stupid big fat mouth. Why can’t I keep my stupid gob shut? This is karma for reducing Scorpius to a stuttering ball of goo earlier, isn’t it?

Okay seriously world, this is a conspiracy. Why can every single person I know, except me, raise one eyebrow? It’s like the world just wants me to feel inferior! So not fair.

“Slow down there Al. No need to get nervous and dig yourself into a hole. We were just wondering when you two agreed to actually go through with it.” Bollocks. You can wipe that smirk right off your face Teddy because I’m not telling you anything else.

“Erm. Right. Well you know she was telling me about that bastard following her around and I just couldn't let that arse creep on her any longer so I told her we had to go through with it.”

Okay so apparently my brain and mouth were not in agreement about the not telling them anything else thing.

But I can’t help it. That tosser makes me want to hex his ears off.

“Get a little protective there Ally?” James how many times do I have to turn your hair purple before you stop calling me that? Seriously I think I lost count at six hundred and seventy two. And that’s only this year.

And protective? I think not! Who would be protective of that crazy girl? I hate her, I do!

She’s mad!


“Um. Okay Al no need to freak out there. Merlin. Overreact much?” Shite.

“Need to get something off your back Al?” NO! No way. I am not telling them. Ever. It’s not going to happen.

“Ugh I’m so confused!” Bollocks. I can’t keep my stupid gob shut can I?

“I thought I hated that girl. Really. Half the time I want to murder her but the other half…” Hello mouth? Could you please close now? Thanks.

“So what you like her now?” Oh Hugo. So innocent and young.

“How the hell am I supposed to know? You can’t just go from violently hating someone to liking them in a day can you?”

And now we are all staring at Teddy.

Yes all of us.

We even moved at the same time. It was like all of our necks were connected. Or suffered from exactly the same twitch simultaneously…

“What are you all staring at me for? Vic never hated me and I definitely never hated her. I basically followed her around since the day she was born! You should be asking James, he’s the one who had to go fall in love with the girl who hated him.” Dammit. Teddy is supposed to know everything. I guess James works too.

“Aww Al don’t look at me like that. You know I can’t handle puppy dog eyes from you or Lily. It’s my fate as a big brother. Fine so yeah Elle hated me forever but I have no clue why she randomly stopped. I guess I just stopped being a complete arse around her. I really don’t think that relates to your predicament at all. Sorry mucker.”

Why do I have to be so bleeding original?

Seriously first I get stuck with Albus as a name.

Really Albus? And it’s not like I come from a family of weird names like Lorcan and Lysander! The rest of my family has completely normal names why couldn’t they just keep the weird names for middle names hmm? Why did James get both normal names and I got stuck with Albus Severus? Completely not fair.

And now no one can help me with my problems either!

Life really does not like me. At all.

Also I think I just confessed to about half my family that I might actually like Mara.


“So your still going to go through with the plan? Your going to pretend to date the girl you are pretending to hate when you actually want to date her?” I never said I wanted to date her Hugo!

Stupid cousins, jumping to conclusions all the time.

“Al, we know you too well for that. Don’t even deny it. Your totally hung up on Mara, it’s obvious.” It is not obvious Scorpius! How dare you! Plus if it was obvious they wouldn’t have needed me to tell them before they found out.

Hey, maybe that’s what all the smirking was about.

“You guys all knew? This whole time? You knew I didn’t hate Mara and you still let me get myself into this mess? Thanks a lot. Some family I have.”

“Well look at it from our point of view Al. Out of all of the Potter/Weasley kids you are the calmest. Hands down. The only time you ever lose your cool is with Mara. She’s probably the only person you’ve yelled at in years.” That’s not completely true.

I hexed the shite out of Lily’s ex-boyfriend when we found out he was cheating on her, but I guess that was sanctioned (especially since everyone in this room happened to be helping me at the time).

Although I still say that my arguments with Mara are completely founded. She’s just so aggravating, it’s impossible to have a civil conversation with her—

“Plus we all saw you ogling her this summer at Rose’s birthday. You remember. She had that pool party and Mara was wearing that little yellow bikini? You nearly had a fit and ran into the house faster than Lily on crack.” Not possible. The running faster than Lily on crack thing.

And Fred, since when are we holding every little thing against each other? I thought you loved me! (I think I’m the one on crack I need to control myself, I think the stress is getting to my head)

Although if she wore that bikini every day I don’t think I’d ever yell at her again. I don’t think I’d ever speak real words again actually.

Maybe unintelligible mumbling every once and a while.

I’m just digging myself deeper into this hole aren’t I? Oh well, I’ve always wanted to go to China.

Right. So anyways now that I’ve successfully saved Scorpius’s arse (after I placed it in immediate danger in the first place) and confessed to something so grotesque it will never be mentioned ever again, can this farce of a meeting be over now?

“So now that I’ve confessed—which I did know was your plan in the first place Teddy—can Scorpius and I go now? I’ve got a huge transfigs essay due tomorrow that I’ve barely started.” Okay so that’s only partially true. I have started it, in fact I’m almost done but I forgot the Marauder’s map in my sock drawer and it’s been almost two hours since I checked that the Creeper wasn’t following Mara around.

What if he got to her?

What did you say? No I’m not just as bad as that arse! Just because I happen to stare at the little dot that says her name sometimes does not make me a stalker!

Okay, maybe a little. But at least I’m not creepy. Or McLaggen.

“So I’m probably going to murder you any second Al.” What? I just saved him! Why would he want to murder me? I knew he had violent tendencies hidden somewhere in there.

“What the hell are you talking about Scorpius? I just saved your arse from brutal murder at the hands of my cousins! It’s not my fault you are obsessed enough with my cousin to keep a picture of her under your bed! We’ll be talking about that later by the way.” Hah. So there. Arguing that statement will be impossible, even for Genius Boy.

“Saved me? You’re the one who told them about the picture in the first place! It wasn’t even a good distraction Al because they got you to confess anyway.” Oh. So I guess it is arguable after all.

“Yeah yeah so I threw you under the bus. Well more like dragged you along with me as I got brutally hurled in front of the bus—I’m taking this metaphor too far aren’t I? Anyways, I’m sorry for implicating you as a Rosie-o-phile, but we do need to talk about your growing obsession. You seriously keep a picture of her under your bed?”

“Shut up Al. It’s not like it matters anyway. The only time Rose ever thinks of me is when she beats my scores or vise versa.” I just made Scorpius Malfoy blush!

Merlin, this is a day to record in the record books. I know that I said he was usually a mess of emotions but that doesn’t mean that they actually show on his exterior!

Us Weasley/Potters blush like two mad blushing things, but Scorp? I think this is only one of a handful of times that I’ve seen it and we’ve been best mates for six years!

Right, so I should probably stop rejoicing and start comfort my slightly depressed friend now—HOLD ON JUST A SECOND!


No, no, no. No one, and I do mean no one creeps on my fake girlfriend!

That bastard! He’s touching her! That’s inappropriate behavior! For all he knows she has a boyfriend, that cheating bastard!

Okay so it’s just her wrist, but still...

“McLaggen get the hell away from my girlfriend before I hex you so bad you can’t walk for a week!” I don’t care if he gets away from her in the next tenth of a second he’s still getting hexed. That arsehole. Trying to steal my woman!

“Oh yeah, and what are you going to do about it? Perfect little Potter, always gets everything he wants. Sorry, but I saw her first and there’s nothing you can do about i—

“Stupefy!” Woah...what just happened? I’m pretty sure I didn’t curse him yet. We weren’t done with the macho threat portion of the evening...

“Ugh. If that boy left one bruise on me he’s going to wish I A.K.’d him instead of that measley stunner. What an arse.”

Are you still wondering why I’ve fallen for this girl? I didn’t think so.

A/N: Oh my goodness, what do you think of Al? Not going to lie this chapter was pretty fun to write. Especially his random arguments with James. What do you think is going to happen next? Albus told, can you believe it?

I had this chapter updating but then I decided that it was distinctly lacking in Mara so I added some more to it. What do you think? For all seven thousand of you begging for Scorpius, are you satisfied? He came out a little different than I thought when I first started the story but I think I like it.

Anyways, as always please review because I love them!

Oh and question. Do you think Al is too girly sounding? I was reading through after the chapter was finished and I was a little worried about that...

-Rose Red :P

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