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Missing Moments by Pen2Paper
Chapter 1 : I'd Lie
Rating: 15+Chapter Reviews: 35

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A/N: This is my first attempt at a Songfic. So lemme know what you think. 

All things Harry Potter belong to JK Rowling. 

Lyrics from I'd Lie by Taylor Swift.

I tapped my foot unconsciously. I was bored and ignored.
James looked up from his copy of Which Broomstick and looked over at me.

I had spoken too quickly. Look at him...
He was so beautiful. His hazel eyes sparkled in the morning sun drifting into the common room. I missed that smile he always gave me whenever he looked at me.

I shouldn’t have said no. Not in front of all those people, his friends. Not the day before his parents died. Not the way had I yelled. I had crushed his spirit and he’d never look at me the same again...

“What’s wrong, Lily?” he knew me too well. What would it take for me to know him that well. 

“I’m bored” I whined, “I’m stuck here for Christmas because Tuney doesn’t want me around when her fiancé is visiting. I can’t go to the library because of your prank last night-”

“I told you we had nothing to do with that”
I pretended to look cross. How hard it was to frown at that face.

“-and all my friends are gone for the holidays, I have no one to hang out with!”

James sighed and shut his book quietly.
“Alright, if you promise not to yell at me or fight with me or argue with me I’ll take you around town, we might even have fun. What do you say?”

I jumped to my feet. “Yes to the first, yes to the second and yes to the third! Let’s go!”
A day out with James Potter is all I needed to change fate.

James laughed his charming laugh and it warmed me up from within. “Actually I like arguing with you. It makes your nose scrunch up. It’s kind of cute and funny”

I rolled my eyes but my heart took flight.

We headed out of Hogsmeade to the nearby town walking and talking as we did. I played 20 questions on him and instead of a guessing game I asked him to tell me things about him I didn’t know.

I wanted to know everything I’d ignored the last few years. I wanted to know what he liked and what he didn’t, what made him laugh and what made him cry.
I missed those little things because I tried to stop myself from falling for him when all I should have done was to let go the binds holding me back.

I knew some things thanks to the first friend I had confided in. I had never been able to hide much from Remus. Unlike my other friends, Remus knew what I was thinking when I was lying and knew the words I wouldn’t say.

He told me about James' love of horses and all of James’ favourite songs and my summer was filled with those tunes. He told me about the many times he'd openly declared his affection for me... something I hoped still lingered somewhere in his heart.
And now I knew he liked to argue.
I may not know you well enough James, but my heart definitely wants to. So here goes...
We walked through the small town, side by side, the soft snow crunching beneath our feet.

“So what’s your favourite colour?” I questioned when he fell silent.

“Pass” He smiled to himself.

“Oh come on! That was an easy one!”

“Tell you what? If you behave and don’t yell today, I’ll tell you”

“I can do that!” I said firmly. I was determined.
He raised an eyebrow.

James stopped in front of a wooden shed and pulled off his gloves. He unlocked the doors, opened the latch and pulled the large doors apart. I walked into the shed to see what looked definitely like a muggle car in silver covers.

He pulled the cover off gently and from underneath emerged a black and silver Chevrolet Chevelle. I smiled as I recognised it. It was my dad’s dream car. How had he gotten hold of one? 

"W-o-w!" my eyes widened, "I didn't know you liked cars!"

He laughed and his eyes sparkled, "Lily, just because we know magic doesn't mean we're not human! All boys love cars" 

I laughed at myself as the truth of the statement hit me.

“So, we’re going for a ride?” I asked excitedly
He smiled at my excitement.

“Sure, why not?”

I decided to push my luck for some reason. “Can I drive?”

He was silent as he looked at me closely. I waited smiling at him pleadingly.
He finally sighed and pulled the keys out of his pocket and dropped them onto my hand.
“Don’t get us killed!”

I stuck my tongue out at him and jumped into the driver’s seat as he slid into the passenger seat beside me.
We headed out of the wooden garage and along the snow covered road. The countryside was wild and beautiful. All the trees and houses covered in a sheet of white snow.
He turned on the radio.

What do you know? It’s a favourite of James’s. Elvis Presley’s ‘Are you lonesome tonight?’

I turned to look at him, smiling to himself as he stared out the window. I borrowed his carefree charm. Handsome was an understatement for him.
Why had it taken so long for me to see? He was good for me. Why did I fight it all this time?

“So what did you do last night?” I questioned again.

His smile grew wider “Since you can’t yell, I’ll tell you we snuck out to the greenhouses to play a prank on a few Slytherins who were stealing Fire Seeds!”

I couldn’t yell, I was too absorbed in the warm hazel and liquid browns of his eyes.

I don't think that passenger seat
Has ever looked this good to me
He tells me about his night
And I count the colours in his eyes


I shook my head and turned back to the road ahead.

“Where are we going exactly? I’m driving and I have no idea where we are headed!”

He chuckled softly “There’s a Dairy Parlour around the corner, they’ll have some hot chocolate” he glanced my way, "and some swirl brownies"

“Mmmmm!”  I had to admit, remembering my favourite food did impress me quite a bit.

He laughed again.

Someone requested another Elvis song on the radio and I laughed as they played ‘Burning Love’, another of his favourites.
“Don’t you like this song?”

“Yes! It’s one of my favourites” He said. I don’t think it crossed his mind that I already knew it was.

We listened to the lyrics singing along to the song we both know.
“Your kisses lift me higher, like the sweet song of a choir. You light my morning sky, with burning love!” His fingers danced along the chords of an imaginary guitar.

He laughed at the song and sighed.
“Burning love!” he shook his head. “I really doubt anyone who wrote these love songs have actually felt it. It’s not all rainbows and candy hearts!” 
I strained a laugh.

I put on a smile and turned back to the road seeing the Parlour at the far end of the road.
He was quiet again.

“What is it?” I asked turning again to look at him.

“Nothing, it’s just... well..." he struggled with the words and I waited in anguish "I don’t know if I believe in love anymore. I mean I’m not saying it doesn’t exist but... Well I don’t think I’ll ever fall in love... again. I just don’t feel it’s real” He looked out the window.

“Oh please! James Potter going solo?” I forced a laugh but my heart lost a beat.
Please be wrong! Please be wrong! Let him be wrong.

He laughed with me, sliding a hand through his messy raven hair. My fear died as his laughter lifted me up again.

He'll never fall in love he swears
As he runs his fingers through his hair
I'm laughing 'cause I hope he's wrong
And I don't think it ever crossed his mind
He tells a joke I fake a smile
That I know all his favourite songs

We pulled up in front of the Dairy Parlour, covered in snow its windows were decorated with holly and tinsel. I cut off the engine.

“So you didn’t tell me... what’s your favourite colour?”

He smirked “The day’s not over yet!”

“I just listened to you tell me about sneaking out after curfew to break into the greenhouses and play a prank on a few Slytherins! I don’t think I’ll be yelling today”
He smiled my favourite crooked me as he slumped back defeated in his seat and sighed deeply.
“I’ve lost count the number of times I’ve told you my favourite colour”

I bit my lip, hoping he’d say it once more.

He turned to look at me and our eyes met. I waited as he looked deep into mine.

“I love the colour of your eyes” his voice was barely a whisper. I blushed.
It made me shiver as a wave of happiness washes over me. I wished he could see my heart now.

He smiled and looked down. So he admits he still sees me the way he did... but he had given up the hope that it would ever happen. Basically I was a lost dream, he was already letting go. 

“Come on, let’s go” he put his scarf back on and put his hand on the door latch. “I’ll buy”

“Nope! My treat !” I said firmly.

“But it’s not my birthday!”

“Oh? When is your birthday?”

He narrowed his eyes and suppressed a smile and I tried to read his eyes.


This smile was new, devious. His eyes were mischievous. I wondered why. Was he suspicious of my sudden curiosity? Trying to trick me?

“I’ll pay!” he said firmly putting his hand in his jacket pocket.

“No way!” I grabbed his arm and pulled and his wallet fell out. We both reached for it at the same time but I caught it and pulled it away out of his grasp. For a minute I felt like we were children at play.

I opened his wallet on my lap. There was a moving photo of his family sitting on a porch swing in a garden. His mother and father sat beside each other holding hands and smiling.
Young James was seated next to his mother with her arm around him, smiling and waving at the camera. On the armrest next to his father was a girl I’d never seen before with a lovable face, long dark brown curls like James’ mother and beautiful blue eyes. She smiled, titled her head and waved.

“Who’s this? You have a sister?!” I asked James astonished.

“No, that’s my cousin Georgina. But yes I suppose for all practical purposes she’s my sister” he looked sadly at the photograph. He must miss his parents terribly.

I looked back at the happy family, His parents never let go of each other’s hands.
“You have your father’s eyes” I said.

“Yeah” he agreed quietly.
I looked over at him. He stared at his hands for a long moment and suddenly looked up at me.

“What?” he smiled.
Caught staring I blushed and shook my head.

“Hot chocolate?” he held out his hand for the wallet.
I smiled and nodded handing him the wallet and stepping out of the car.


I could tell you his favourite colour’s green
He loves to argue, born on the seventeenth
His sister's beautiful, he has his father's eyes
And if you ask me if I love him, I'd lie

He found us seats by the corner. I pulled off my scarf, sat on the wooden chair and picked the petals of the white daisy in the small vase.
He was ordering our drinks at the counter.

He turned around and scanned the room smiling and acknowledging the few fellow Hogwarts students who like us had come for a warm drink.
His eyes swept over me, could he not see the truth in my eyes anymore?

Doesn’t he know that I know him better than himself?
I know the smile he has when he’s about to play a prank.

I’d know his voice even if I was blind. I could tell you if he was happy or sad with the tune of his laugh.

I know he sees the world as black and white, good and bad and right and wrong.

I know he loves the summer nights when the heat lightning splits the night sky.

I know he’s soft and kind inside but tough on the outside, that he’d never let anyone see him cry. He grins and bares it all and laughs the worries away.

And yet I won’t let the world see me wishing that he was mine. Not yet.

He looks around the room
Innocently overlooks the truth
Shouldn't a light go on?
Doesn't he know I've had him memorized for so long?

He sees everything black and white
Never let nobody see him cry
I don't let nobody see me wishing he was mine

I could tell you his favourite colour's green
He loves to argue, born on the seventeenth
His sister's beautiful, he has his father's eyes
And if you ask me if I love him, I'd lie

They asked someone to play a song, of course they voted for him. He’s the most popular of them all.
He looked at me and I smiled encouraging him on.
My favourite crooked smile appeared on his face and stole my breath away.

My God, if only I could tell you what you do to me!
The chaos in my heart was in uproar and I struggled to breathe as he sat on that stool and picked up the guitar.

He’ll never admit it but he could play better than Elvis.
He sang my favourite Christmas song and I melted away as the rest of them all sang along.

I remember my first thought in the morning ‘cos it’s the same thought in my mind right now.
Dear God, he’s beautiful.

I wish upon a star and pray for a miracle.
How did this happen to me...?

He stands there then walks away
My God, if I could only say
I'm holding every breathe for you

He'd never tell you but he can play guitar
I think he can see through everything but my heart
First thought when I wake up is, "My god, he's beautiful"
So I put on my makeup and pray for a miracle

He returned to me to loud applause with a bare hint of a smirk on his face. 
James sat in front of me quietly and began to drink slowly from his mug of chocolate.

Today had gone exactly as planned...
Yes I know, his loves the green of my eyes.
He loves arguing with me because he loves the way my nose gets all twisted when I'm annoyed. It makes him laugh that carefree laugh that frenzies my heart.

Yes, I could tell you his favourite colour’s green
He loves to argue oh and it kills me

He has a cousin I'd never seen before but she is a beauty with hair the colour of chestnut and eyes bluer than the sea and he’ll always see his father the dazzling hazel eyes he’d inherited from him.

His sister’s beautiful, he has his father's eyes 

“That was really beautiful!” I was breathless as I praised his singing voice.

He looked up from his steaming mug of chocolate, surprised.
“Wow! A Lily Evans compliment? I must be dreaming!”

I smiled and blushed deeply.

“And a blush!” his eyebrows travelled further up his forehead.
He leaned across the table toward me and I mirrored him unconsciously.

“Oh I know!” he said his eyes alight with mischief again, the hint of a smirk returning to his smile “is this the moment where you tell me you secretly love me?” he grinned.

I bit my lip.

And if you asked me if I love him

I’d lie. 


A/N : Thank you for reading! 
This is my first attempt at a Songfic so tell me what you think?
Kindly leave a review! :)

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