Chapter 18 : Hollywood
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thanks so much to Green at tda for the chapter image :)
Disclaimer: It’s all Jo’s, you know it, and I know it too.
‘What are you doing?’ I hissed irately at Black, as another scrap of sodding parchment skimmed past my left ear, in the process, (as ever with my sodding luck) flying past me and hitting Georgina Fawcett in the back of her big meaty head. For the third time this lesson.
If the situation didn’t make it seem like I’d thrown the parchment at her bloody head, (a target that I would have been disappointed of if Black hadn’t hit) three times in a sodding row, then the whole thing would have been highly amusing. The fact however was though that the girl was getting pissed off at me; I had laughed openly in her face the first two times the balls had hit her in the face and now, as she hurled her body round to glare at me, I could see the smoke billowing out of her flaring nostrils.
‘Stebbins, what are you playing at?’ She hissed, clearly trying to not attract the attention of the professor at the front of the class who was currently droning on about fuck knows what, she was a Ravenclaw, like me, and in all sense a swotty, nerdy know it all, who didn’t want to be caught talking to the naughty, outcast Ravenclaw sitting at the back of the class with the naughty Gryffindor boys.
‘It wasn’t me I swear.’ I said ever so quickly, so quickly in fact that I’m sure I only made myself look even more bloody guilty.
She raised a heavy brow at me, eyeing me closely (clearly seeing if I was in fact sane), before raking her eyes on the rest of the rowdy bunch that surrounded me.
‘Well don’t do it again alright Stebbins?’ She said finally before glaring at me once and turning back round, crazy cow.
‘Thank Merlin you have Annie, Cal.’ Lily muttered next to me as she continued to write at a hundred times the normal speed of any other, normal human being.
‘Oh I know right! She’s pure bloody mental,’ I hissed back quietly, ‘absolutely bloody insane! Did you know she reads through her class every night before she goes to sleep?’ I continued, leaning back on my stool as I allowed myself a small smile at the poor girl’s misfortune in front of me.
Lily refused to reply because at that moment old Slughorn himself looked up, and I knew Lily would literally die if she was told off for talking in his lesson.
‘You have to be the world’s shittest Ravenclaw in the history of Hogwarts Stebbins.’ I heard Potter sneer.
‘Excuse me?’ I choked.
‘You heard me,’ He replied clearly smirking at my shock.
‘Then enlighten me oh wise Pot-head, why am I the worse Ravenclaw in the history of Hogwarts when the boy I’m currently talking to cried the first day of school when he had to leave his mummy? Sure I’m not the disgrace to my house.’ I smirked, happy to at least get one over on the git before he began his tirade of insults.
He halted from opening that massive abyss that he calls his mouth for a mili-second (which was quite a feat for anyone to stop Potter from talking for), most probably because he was trying to contemplate what I just said. Though by the time his face turned into a vile scowl, I guessed he realised what I just said.
‘I didn’t cry! I had something in my eye.’ He muttered childishly.
‘Sure you did Potter,’ I smirked viciously, turning round quickly to check if Slughorn was still slowly writing on the board, ‘but I’m sorry Potter I stopped you from insulting me.’ I smiled, in a highly patronising way.
‘Well you’re a shit Ravenclaw,’ He stuttered, clearly forgetting the thread of his insult, and he tried to tell me he was the cleverest boy in the year.
‘Real strong reply Potter.’ I snorted.
‘I think what Prongs is trying to say, Stebbins, is that you have got to be the shittest Ravenclaw because you just mocked your fellow Ravenclaw, Fawcett, for going through her class notes at the end of the day.’ Black butted in, as ever saving his damsel-in-distress girlfriend, it was rather sickening really.
‘Well it’s laughable.’ I replied defensively.
‘Oh yes I agree extremely laughable, especially considering you’re best friend does it.’ He said slowly, looking pointedly at the bent form of the red head currently sitting next to me.
‘Ahh yes, but Lily’s like her very own form of like super-human, it’s acceptable for her to re-read her class notes, else I’m sure she’d explode or something,’ I explained, and then continued dropping my voice so that Fawcett, who I was quite sure was listening to our conversation intently, couldn’t hear, ‘but it is not acceptable to re-read bloody class notes on a Saturday night when you should be out having fun.’
‘Well that’s what Ravenclaw’s are meant to be doing they’re the geeks of the school, hence why; because you’re not doing it, and instead slagging it out with your current flavour of the month, you are officially the worst Ravenclaw of the school.’ Smirked Black delightedly.
‘You’re a dick.’ I replied lamely.
‘And you’re an awful Ravenclaw.’
I sighed exasperatedly and turned back to my work. It was only a matter of mere seconds before the fourth ball of parchment soared past my ear.
‘What are you doing!’ I hissed again, facing Black with a ferocious scowl on my face.
‘Apart from your sister?’ He smirked.
‘You’re disgusting.’ I seethed.
‘She doesn’t seem to think so.’ He chorused, clearly revelling in his girlfriend’s looking at him lovingly as he, once again, made fun of me.
‘Oh grow up you little shit.’ I snapped angrily.
‘Ohhhh.’ They all chimed in a most girly manner, revelling in their mocking of me.
I simply turned round and tried my hardest to ignore them, eager to begin the potion Lily had just gone to the ingredients for.
‘Stebbins.’ Black hissed.
The prick, of course was ignored.
‘Ravenclaw.’ Potter whispered.
These lace-wig flies were fascinating to chop.
‘Slut.’ Pettigrew hissed, trying desperately to stop his giggles.
A childish attempt to gain my attention, and one that would not work. Lupin, unsurprisingly, was keeping eloquently silent.
‘Stebbins, turn the fuck around.’ Black hissed.
I ignored the git; I would not turn round to be met with a tirade of insults.
That was until a fifth parchment ball, larger and heavier than the previous three finally reached its target; the back of my head. And I screamed. Screamed in shock at the bloody weight of the thing (clearly now I could understand why Fawcett had got so annoyed before).
‘Miss Stebbins!’ A voice roared.
And I jumped, like forty feet into the air. Whilst holding a corrosive vile of fuck knows what. Which caused me to scream loudly again in alarm, which in turn caused Lily too scream too, thank Merlin Annie wasn’t there else we’d sound like we were three singing banshee’s.
‘Miss Stebbins!’ Slughorn shouted again, trying desperately to be heard over the screams of Lily and I, the marauders mimicking our screams in a most patronising, sexist way and the rest of the class talking loudly and heatedly about what the sodding hell was happening.
‘Alright keep your knickers on.’ I said far louder than I had meant to.
And like that it suddenly went silent, faster than it had ever done in the five years I’d been here, so silent I was sure I could even hear Hopkin’s heavy breathing three floors up.
‘Pardon Miss Stebbins?’ Slughorn asked.
‘Nothing Professor.’ I squeaked, wishing to go and hide in a very dark room as I saw the marauders all fall into silent girly, giggles.
‘I think she said ‘keep your knickers on Professor’,’ Potter said loudly.
I could have died. Literally died right then and there. Which in every other case that I have said such a thing may have been over-dramatic, but now, I really could die.
I whipped round to face Potter and his bunch of loyal girlfriends, to find him smirking, the bloody flames of the cauldron’s bouncing of his spectacles so I was thankfully unable to see the delight in his sodding eyes. Evidently a new term meant we were back to how it used to be, those four laughing at me, me glaring at them, and all of us each trying to get the other into detention.
‘Then I suppose it is a good thing I’m not wearing any knickers then.’ I heard Slughorn say dryly behind me.
I saw Potter go to open his mouth, about to, I’m sure, say something highly witty and intelligent, and not at all childish.
‘Mr Potter, if the next thing that comes out of your mouth is in reference to whether or not I am wearing underwear I will be forced to give you a detention.’ Slughorn said sternly.
I, in turn, mimicked the marauder’s own silent fit of laughter.
‘Miss Stebbins, do not think that because your back is turned from me that your silent laughter is hidden from me, I can see your shoulder’s shaking.’ Slughorn muttered, clearly exasperated by the whole affair.
I turned to face him, the laughter wiped instantly off my face at his bloody teacher’s intuition. He simply gave me a half-scolding glare before waddling off towards back to his desk.
‘Now, why don’t we get back to the task at hand?’
I eagerly sat down in my seat, hoping the whole screaming matter could be forgotten, I averted my eyes also so as to avoid further confrontation with Slughorn and embarrassment. I grabbed a random vial from the desk, eager to get on with task and ignore the four dickheads that were sitting behind me, all of whom, I was sure, were pissing themselves laughing. I tipped the vile towards the gently bubbling cauldron only to be stopped by a pale claw of a hand grabbing my wrist.
‘If you put that in, our deflating draught will become more of an exploding-cauldron draught.’ Lily said airily to me as her eyes remained fixed on reading the instructions in her beloved potions book.
I looked at her sceptically; how did she know that? How could she see that something bad was about to happen to her potion without even looking up from that sodding text book? (I think only Snape rivalled her in his creeping obsession with this year’s potion book.)
‘Call it potions instinct,’ she began looking up at me and taking the vile from my hand, ‘I don’t think the highly corrosive ‘hellebore’ would deflate anything,’ She continued, showing me the vile that was, as the sodding genius knew, ‘hellebore’.
‘Fine.’ I scowled moodily at her before grabbing the vile back from her and putting it back in with the rest of the vile, ‘but if it’s not meant to go in the potion why the hell is it out?’
‘Because the last class obviously forgot to put it back, that’s not ours.’ She said almost lazily, clearly my questions were inane and tiresome for the potions Queen.
‘I’m going to get the knotgrass.’ I sighed pulling myself up from my stool.
It was only as I reached the potions cupboard that I realised my mistake. I had left myself open. Open to being cornered in the cupboard by a snivelling prick. A prick that I really didn’t want to see, and one that presented itself in the form of Lupin blocking the light from the classroom with his stupidly tall frame.
I tensed at his appearance and quickly turned myself away from him, eager to grab the last ingredients of the potion and get the sodding hell out of there.
‘Calliope.’ I heard him say as he moved closer to me.
‘Lupin.’ I said flatly turning to face him.
I was desperately trying to keep this conversation basic and monotone, my logic was that by calling him Lupin, which in reality I had always called him, I had never even considered calling him by his first name; that I was telling him to back the hell off. Or something along those lines.
But then I caught his eye, those stupidly deep amber irises that had been my sodding downfall in the first place (well that and the obscene amount of alcohol that had been forced through my body). I felt myself slump a little as he looked at me almost shyly, before smiling slightly at me. I tilted my head as I continued looking at him, beginning to not-.
I was not the stupid bimbo-headed, tarty, slut-faced whore, who noticed how fucking attractive a marauder’s eyes were, nor was I like the bloody rest who became weak at the sodding knees by their gaze. I was a Ravenclaw for Merlin’s sake, I had brains, I had logic, and most importantly; I had legs to get me the hell out of there.
‘I need to get back to Lily.’ I mumbled, moving towards the door that led to the sanctuary of the classroom where I knew Lupin would dare not say anything.
‘Callie.’ He said blocking my exit.
‘Stop calling me Callie.’ I snapped irritably, his sudden appearance had done nothing to improve my mood and had simply reminded me of what I wished to forget.
‘You’ve never seemed to mind me calling you “Callie” before.’ He replied testily.
I glowered at him in annoyance.
‘Those were the times when my mind was so clogged up with alcohol that I had no rational.’
‘Clearly.’ He spat glaring at me.
‘Then let’s just put everything down to stupid, drunken mistakes and go back to despising one another shall we?’
‘Fine with me Stebbins.’ He glared icily.
‘Fine.’ I smiled patronisingly, making my way out of the bloody stock cupboard and back to my seat.
‘Nice rendezvous with Snivellus in the cupboard Stebbins?’ Hissed a voice in my left ear as I took my seat.
‘I think you’ll find it was your dear boyfriend Lupin, Black.’ I hissed in my most bitchy tone, eager to get someone as aggravated as I was, ‘Jealous?’ I asked raising an eyebrow at his formerly cocky, smirking face.
‘As if that’s even true.’ He muttered downtrodden.
‘Why don’t you ask him?’ I asked nodding to Lupin who had just left the cupboard.
I saw the instant scowl form on his face as his eyes latched upon the silently moving figure of his best friend, was I really that much of an enemy that Lupin deserved that sort of look for talking to me?
‘I…’ Black began, before Slughorn cut him off.
‘Clearly, Miss Stebbins and Mr Black cannot be left alone together without flirting endlessly, I think I will have to split you all up,’ Slughorn said loudly, the git was trying to purposely embarrass me (and it was working), ‘Stebbins with Lupin, Miss Evans would you go with Mr Pettigrew? And Potter, with Snape please.’
Slughorn could be a real sadistic bastard sometimes.
I looked pleadingly at Slughorn’s star pupil for help.
‘No it’s alright I’ll work with Remus professor, we’re more likely to finish a potion,’ Lily said loudly, giving him a wide, cheeky smile.
‘You are probably right Miss Evans,’ He replied laughing heartily, ‘very well Miss Stebbins you go with Mr Pettigrew.’
I would have groaned in annoyance but I knew I was getting the best end of the bad deal here, and I also knew that if Lily saw any sign that I was in the least bit ungrateful she would force me to go work with Lupin.
Your mind is just like mine,
All filled up with things benign,
You’re looking for the golden life.
Hollywood – Marina And The Diamonds
Reader: Yes it took a long time to write, and yes it’s not the best chapter, and yes very little happens. But it’s a return to the school which many of you were heckling me for ;) But I promise the next chapter will be posted faster and be better. Read and Review!
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