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Badgers, Blushing and Gods of Lurve by LaylaBethJagger
Chapter 7 : A Dork in All Other Respects
Rating: MatureChapter Reviews: 14

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A Dork In Any Other Respects.

“Why are these things considered enjoyable?” I demanded over the howling wind.

Sitting in a stand, three hundred feet in the air, in the middle of a freezing cold wind, and a knee wobbling height below us, was not my ideal pastime.

Usually, I enjoyed watching the fit boys fly around on their brooms, showing off their manliness. The problem with this specific match was that the fog was so bad, that you couldn’t see the players.

Only blurry outlines.

“There’s Eric!” Penny shouted. She had joined us, abandoning her housemates to watch her boyfriend— they’re official now— with his friends.

“I thought that was him.” I shouted out, pointing at a player on the opposite side of the field. He had a massive shoe, and Eric’s feet were big.

It must have been him.

“What?” Oscar asked. “That’s Bigfoot, not Eric.”

I snorted. “What’s the difference?”

Penny threw me a dirty look, and I sobered up instantly. She saw my reproachful look and look satisfied. “That’s him over there.” She pointed at a new player all together.

“How can you tell?” Emily demanded.

Penny shrugged. “I just can.”

I’m glad I’m surrounded by such genius’s.

I eventually gave up trying to decipher who was who, and began to focus on the height.

So high.

So very high.

I could easily imagine my brains soiled into the grass if I fell.

Oh Merlin.

“Guess who?”

I screamed at the top of my lungs and spun around grabbing onto the nearest solid thing I could.

It was Oscar.

“Whoa.” He said when I grabbed him. “I know I’m attractive, but remember I’m interested in someone else?”

I scoffed, and unlatched my arms. “You wish.” I muttered. “I was scared,”

“Of what?” Oscar asked amusedly.

I frowned. Someone had shouted:

I spun around to see Albus, Rose, and Scorpius smirking at me. I must have flushed a very unattractive pink.

“What were you frightened of?” Albus asked me.

I frowned at him. “Nothing. I’m fearless.”

Scorpius smirked. “Right. That would explain the: AHHHH! Save me, save me!” He adopted a crude high pitched voice, and then jumped into Rose’s arms.

I stared at him. “Was that supposed to be me? ” I demanded.

Scorpius shrugged, and then Rose pushed him away from her. I could see a faint tinge of pink on her cheeks though.


“So…” Albus asked again. “What were you scared of?”

I shook my head. “Nothing.” I repeated firmly. “I have a slight aversion to heights, is all.”

Scorpius snorted. “So now you’re Twinkle-Toes-that-are-Slightly-Averted-to-Height.”

I punched him lightly in the arm. I was becoming more and more at ease with these gods.


“It’s not my toes that are averted to height.” I told him. “It’s my whole body.”

Scorpius just snorted again.

It was Ravenclaw versus Hufflepuff, which meant that I was torn between going for my own house or Eric.

I still hadn’t decided.

“Whose side are you on?” Albus asked.


I shrugged, trying to look like I didn’t care who won. I was cool enough to let the other house team win, and still be awesome.

My face pulled an ugly smug-cross-grimace look.

Scorpius threw his head back and laughed, while I dropped the look immediately, looking for somewhere to hide my face.

Albus laughed and shook his head. “Ignore the blonde junior ferret.” He told me. “He’s jealous of how cool you are.”

Scorpius laughed harder.

Gee, that’s comforting.

I frowned and turned my back on Scorpius, focusing on Rose and Albus. I smiled at them, attempting to ignore the now muffled snorts coming from The Malfoy’s direction.

Rose sighed, smiling comfortingly at me. “What were you doing before we showed up.”

I frowned, and thought for a minute.

Emily, who seemed annoyed at my obvious mind of a goldfish, butt in before could even figure out the answer.

“We were trying to figure out which one Eric is.” She informed them. She rolled her eyes in my direction and I shrugged.

Albus frowned and looked into the snow. “That’s him there…” He said, pointing at a blurry outline.

Everyone else analysed the new figure through the fog, but my mind caught onto something before everyone else.

Yeah, yeah… Alert the media.

“You know who Eric is?” I asked.

Penny threw me another annoyed look, but I was only interested in the suddenly sober Malfoy and The guilty looking Rose and Albus.

“Erm…” Albus managed to cough out, the back of his neck turning red as he avoided my gaze. “…seen him around you?”

That sounded a whole heap lot more like a question.

I frowned, and opened my mouth to ask about their weird reaction to one of my best friends, but I was interrupted.


I frowned in the direction of whatever kid was over the loud speaker today. Someone loud and obnoxious and—

Holy Poo.

Is that Todd Williams?

I looked instantly to Emily, who was staring in horror at the megaphone box. She made an interesting gurgling moan of pain.

I stared at her. “Todd Williams?” I demanded turning my head to look back to see if I could make out his face.

“Todd Williams is back!?”

It was our fourth Year when Emily met Todd. We were the quiet Hufflepuff girls and he was the hot Slytherin with the dreamy brown eyes and jet black hair. And he paid attention to Emily.

They dated for the entirety of our fourth year, and half of our fifth, until it happened.

In fourth year, if you had a boyfriend you were cool. In Fifth year, if you had slept with your boyfriend, you were cooler.

So Emily did.

We got the first message the next day. A filmed message— Merlin knows what he used to film it— of their dirty act. He told us that he had thousands of copies ready for distribution.

The next second, every one in the entire school had a single owl flying towards them.

Emily had seen them all flying in and screamed loud enough to silence the whole hall. Professor McGonagall, obviously concerned with Em’s nearing emotional turmoil, asked what was going on.

When she figured it out—an anonymous tip, courtesy of moi – she confiscated every single letter and then took both Emily and Todd to her office.

I saw Emily that lunch time later, and I didn’t see Todd again. He had been suspended for the rest of the year.

It never occurred to me to think that he would be coming back. To think that Emily had probably been dreading this moment since the first day she didn’t have to deal with Todd last year, to now.

And I had been too worried with my embarrassment and my failing grades to even think about it.

And Emily was now sitting on her bed, hyperventilating.

“It’s not that bad, Em…” I told her. “He’s a dick. The entire school knows that now.”

Emily shook her head frantically. “He’s still got it. I know he’s still got a copy.”

I’m assuming she means the tapes.

“He wouldn’t do that. Remember what McGonagall said to him last time? That he was expelled if she ever caught whiff of anything like it again.”

Only she said it in a wiser and more McGonagall-ish way.

Emily rolled over and buried her face in her pillow. Not good.

I leaned forward, playing with her hair. “Em, think about all the good things in your life. You’ve got all your friends… you’re in the best Quidditch playing house aside from Gryffindor and Slytherin… and you have me…”

Emily made a sobbing noise into her pillow.

“Plus…” I said optimistically as I patted her on the shoulder. “You’re friends with the most popular boys in the school, right now.” I told her.

“What are you talking about?” She demanded.

I frowned. “Well…” I explained. “As if Todd Williams is going to do anything when Malfoy, and Weasley and Albus are looking out for you?”

Emily looked up at me like I had grown a second head. “What?”

What part of this didn’t she understand?

“They’re our friends,” I told her slowly. “And they’re looking out for us.”

Emily stared at me. It was clear the lack of air had affected her brain.

Comforting. I will be comforting.

“Katie.” She told me in a cold stone voice. “They’re your friends.”


She must have read my expression, because she continued.

“Malfoy, and Weasley and Albus don’t care about me. You’re the one that they hang out with. Not me. I’m the sideline girl.”

What was she talking about?

“You’re the one who Potter did tap dancing with in front of the whole school. You’re the one who Rose Weasley talks about all the time in Study Hall. You’re the one who has a Malfoy Nickname.”

I stared at her. “That doesn’t mean they’re not your friends.” I protested. “They like you.”

Emily rolled her eyes. “Katie.” She said quietly. “I don’t mean that they don’t like me. And I don’t mean that I don’t like them. I’m sure they’re good enough people.”

Good enough?


“But Todd is a guy with a whole heap of influence in this school—I mean, seventh year Slytherin?” She verified for me at my confused look. “And Scorpius Malfoy? His whole family is just like that. He’s not going to have too much trouble listening to his side.”

I stared at her.

Had she met Scorpius Malfoy?

I asked her this and she gave me an irritated dry look.

But honestly, how could she think that? It was ridiculous. It was hysterically stupid!

It was really annoying.

Like she believed every single she heard about my new friends.

“Are you saying you believe everything that people say about him?” I asked incredulously, “About them?”

Em rolled her eyes. “How can you not?” She demanded angrily. “They’re in the news tabloids every second week! Rose Weasley’s too insufferably perfect to associate with us. Albus Potter and Scorpius Malfoy are too arrogant to care about anyone. Fred Weasley would betray anyone just because he thinks it’s funny. And that’s not even including what they did to Eric.”


I am so over this.

“Why does everyone keep throwing that in my face?” I demanded angrily. “What did they do to Eric?”

Emily scowled at me, a look of intense anger directed at me. “If you can not know, and even consider your new friends as good people, I don’t think you deserve that friendship.”

“Wh… What?” I stammered quietly.


No. no. no. no. no. no. no.

Em shook her head. “Our friendship. You don’t deserve our friendship.”

I was silent for a second, waiting for her to burst out laughing or punch me and telling me she’s joking.

It never came.

I stood silently from the side of her bed, and reached for the hangings of her bed curtains.

“Right now…” I said coldly, “I don’t even want it.”

I was out of that castle before anyone could even ask me where I was going. The tears that had leaked in the common room now fell as though they felt they needed to fill the Nile.

I didn’t care about the rain, or the intense cold that I had barely stood earlier. I didn’t care about the wind or how horrible it was out here.

It couldn’t be any worse than it was inside the castle.

My fight with Emily was only an hour ago. Already, Eric, Penny and she had begun the silent treatment. Oz wasn’t not talking to me, but had hadn’t talked to me either.

He just sat by Charmaine, and avoided my gaze.

And what made it worse was knowing that they were right.

I mean, I had grown up with those people. I had lived with Emily for the entirety of my time at Hogwarts. And Eric and Oz had always been my rocks.

What on earth would I do without them?

And as for the people we had based our argument on?

I hadn’t seen them yet. After the game they had gone to a victory party for which ever house had won. I don’t know who won, but judging from the enthused Ravenclaw faces I’d say that I should have been over there congratulating Eric right now.

But no.

I was sitting alone, with the space for about two of three people on either side of me, and no one sitting opposite me, left with the company of my Chicken Drumsticks.

I lifted Patrice (the rounder and rather burnt drumstick of the two) and stared at her solemnly.

“You’ll never leave me, will you?”

As if to answer me, the piece of chicken slumped off the bone and fell to my plate.


That’s just not nice.

“Fine.” I said angrily, grabbing my fork and stabbing Patrice angrily. “You don’t deserve love. You don’t deserve anyone’s love. Not mine, and definitely not Wallace’s.”

I looked to my second, thinner drumstick, Wallace. He’d stuck by me through it all.

It’s a pity I would have to eat him.

I glared at Patrice one last time before biting of the area where I roughly guessed her head would be. She tasted bitter. But that was no surprise.

Once I had finished eating Patrice, I looked down at Wallace. He looked kind of disappointed in me.

I pouted, “What?”

He said nothing.

“What?” I repeated.

Oh great, I’m also getting the silent treatment from the Chicken. The world hates me.

The world doesn’t hate you



I don’t hate you, but I’m pretty sure the rest of the world does. I will remain your ally.

HELL YEAH! I have a friend!

After you apologise.

Apologise for what?

You know...

I sighed. I did know. And it was so good to have a friend that I could very easily swallow my pride.

“Very well, Wallace. I am extremely sorry that I ate your girlfriend. But she tasted kind of bitter.”

That’s alright. She was a bitch any way.”


Who need Emily Cook, and Oz, and Eric, and even bitchy little Patrice?

Me and Wallace are taking on the world.

Yes, that was extremely depressing, but I hope you also liked it. I’m really sorry to not have much of Oz, Eric, Emily, etc. in the story for a bit, in anything but a negative like. You know what teenage dramas are like.

Also, sorry if you classify “Bi#*%” as a swear word. There is a warning on the story.

Please review. Your previous responses have been great.



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