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Chapter 1 : The Wedding
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The secretaries smiled at me as I crossed the lobby of Saint Mungo’s with my uniform stuffed in my bag.
“Hey Lily!” one of the matronly women Gladys called out to me and I cut across the lobby to talk to her.
She smiled kindly at me “where are you off to in such a rush... is that blood?” she looked vaguely horrified as she spotted the red spot on my arm.
I blushed and rubbed it off “we had an emergency in ward four,” I explained “and Turner is out sick so I was covering his patients as well as my own.” I loved being a healer but sometimes it could get overwhelming.
She clucked sympathetically “you need to find a man,” she said firmly “get some nookie.”
I chuckled, vaguely uncomfortable discussing the concept of ‘nookie’ with a seventy year old woman “I'm picky,” I said defensively.
“You had better not be working this weekend,” she said firmly.
I smiled “no, I'm actually going to my Aunt and Uncles place by the sea, my cousin Dom is getting married.”
“Will there be boys?” she asked with a smile.
I laughed “mostly they’re my cousins but there will surely be some who I'm not related to.”
Gladys clucked her tongue sympathetically “and how is your cousin Victoire’s beautiful little boy?”
“There was a vague moment of panic last week,” I said with a smile “when we discovered he inherited his father’s gift for metamorphagus, and he transformed his head into a dragon head and growled at the babysitter.”
Gladys chuckled “and your brother James? How is that little wife of his? She was in here yesterday getting a check-up, such a tiny thing, I was amazed by how big she’s gotten, that baby must be the size of a watermelon!”
I chuckled myself as I imagined Regan’s reaction to being described as a tiny thing “she threw a pot plant at James last week when he commented on the same thing, she insists the baby is a perfectly normal size and that if it isn’t then it’s because it inherited James’s swelled head.”
Gladys hooted “she’s got plenty of spunk that one, give her my best when you see her, and say hello to Dominique for me, and give her my congratulations, same to Lysander, boy has the patience of a saint.”
“He would have to,” I said with a smile “to be marrying Dom.”
Many people would find it strange to have the Saint Mungo’s secretaries know every detail of their lives however even before I became a healer they were well acquainted with our family, after all the quidditch injuries, experimental Weasley’s Wizard Wheezes products tested on each other, and friendly brawls and duels between all of us the Saint Mungo’s staff had come to know us quite well.
It also helped that gossip columnists like Rita Skeeter (who was still, rather impressively, spreading lies at the age of eighty) seemed fascinated by anyone connected to my family, especially now that James was England’s star Seeker and as such seemed to delight in reporting on us all.
I looked down at the clock on Gladys’s desk and swore “I am so late and I'm supposed to be helping Dom and her bridesmaids get ready.”
I swore again as I apperated to Shell Cottage and sprinted up towards the house, just as James emerged with a smirk on his face
“Dom is going insane,” he informed me gleefully.
I shuddered; an angry Dom was to be feared and avoided at all costs “it's her wedding day!”
“Exactly,” said James wisely “it’s the most stressful day of a woman’s life.”
I snorted “how the hell would you know?”
He just grinned “Regan told me when she kicked me out of the room Dom is getting dressed in.”
I laughed knowing that James’s tiny wife Regan was the only person in the world who had ever managed to prevent him from causing mayhem “how did Regan manage to get you to behave.”
James shrugged “she’s scary at the moment; she threw a dish at me last night.”
“She is pregnant,” Teddy popped out from behind James and joined us on the porch “Vic was a nightmare when she was pregnant.”
James nodded “I remember.” He was practically glowing with pride though when he talked about his wife and I secretly suspected that James liked provoking her.
“Where’s Rose?” I asked “Can’t she calm Dom down?”
“She’s with the prat,” said James darkly.
I rolled my eyes “James, I think you need to accept it, she and Scorpius are getting married next month, they’ve been together on and off for ten years, they are not going to break up now!”
“Exactly!” exclaimed James triumphantly “on and off, they’re dysfunctional.”
I snorted “really you’re judging other peoples relationships now, and what exactly does your wife refer to you as?”
“An idiotic ass...” said James slowly “but she does it affectionately so it’s ok.”
“The only reason they break up occasionally is because they’re both stubborn and they bicker,” I said “but they’ve been together continuously for two years now and if Uncle Ron can accept it then so can you.”
“I hate weddings,” muttered James.
Teddy chuckled “don't tell Dom that, Lysander will kill you if you do, he’s terrified she might bolt.”
“She wouldn’t,” I gasped.
James shrugged “our Dom has never been the best with commitment.”
“But she loves Lysander!”
“That she does,” said Teddy with a grin, “even if she, like every other female in this family is crazy and usually violent.”
I glared indignantly “I am not usually violent I’ll have you know!”
“True,” conceded James as he gave me a belated welcome hug “but you talk a mile a minute which is just as annoying.”
I blushed, I had worked hard over the past few years to overcome my unfortunate tendency to talk and prattle constantly and I liked to believe that I had made some progress “I'm going inside,” I said firmly, resisting the urge to kick James “and you had better get ready, we can’t have a wedding without the maid of honour.”
Some people might find it strange that Dom had chosen a man to be her maid of honour, but she and James were inexplicably close ever since we were children they had been best friends and I knew that Dom, like practically everyone else in our family, didn’t give a stuff about convention.
James beamed proudly “I have a special tie,” he said smugly.
“Oh dear god,” muttered Teddy “not this again, mate, I’ve told you, if you wear that tie, Dom will kill you.”
“What’s the tie?” I demanded suspiciously.
“It’s red and it has gold snitches on it,” said James happily “and they fly around and then there’s writing that says ‘great catch’.”
“And Regan and Dom are ok with this?”
James flushed “Regan binned it four times and Dom thought it was funny.”
“Well if Dom doesn’t mind,” I shrugged.
Teddy looked pained “she thought it was funny when he wore it to the rehearsal dinner, but I don't think she would appreciate him wearing it to the wedding.”
James looked exasperated “why do you care so much?”
“Because, both your wife and mine asked me to prevent you from wearing it.”
A voice from behind us snorted “whipped much?”
“Hey Freddy,” said James glumly “and I'm not whipped, I'm in love.”
I laughed “you don't have to look so miserable when you say it.”
Freddy smirked “and how is our blushing bride doing this morning?”
“She’s bitchy as hell,” said James with a grin “which of course means she’s nervous as hell and just doesn’t want anyone to know.”
“And why aren’t you in the bridal tent with the rest of the girls?” Freddy asked James with a smirk.
I rolled my eyes at them “you’re twenty eight and one of you is nearly a father, surely you can act like grown ups for one day.”
Teddy shook his head in mock despair “Whatever will we do with them?”
I chuckled “I have no idea, but they’re your problem now, I’d better go find the bride.” With a smile still on my face I bounded up the stairs into Dom’s childhood bedroom which had been magically expanded to fit everything she and the bridesmaids needed to get ready.
Victoire had her back to me when I entered the room as she bustled about in her bridesmaids dress fixing Dom’s hair with several frustrated curses and the occasional “hold still damn it.”
Rose’s bridesmaids dress was laid out on a chair by the bed and Regan had apparently decided to settle into this particular room and wait as her husband was a bridesmaid and being pregnant made her tired.
“Late as usual” Dom didn’t even turn around to greet me.
I rolled my eyes “I'm sorry, I'm sorry, there was an emergency at work.”
“I'm getting married today!” yelped Dom “what could possibly be more important?”
I sighed “somebody set a biting teapot loose at a party as a joke and it went mad with bloodlust and savaged twelve people.”
Vic, sympathetic as usual paled “is everyone alright?”
I nodded “they are now but one of the other healers was sick so I had to cover his patients as well.”
Regan chuckled “that place is a madhouse; I don't know how you stand it.”
I snorted “coming from someone who works for the Prophet?”
I laid my dress down on the bed and removed the cover and Victoire nodded approvingly “good, you should wear green more often, you’ve such vivid colouring, and you should play it up.” She looked radiant in her own pale blue bridesmaids dress as she flitted about the room.
I sighed as I got dressed, feeling out of place in this room full of three of the most beautiful women I knew. Victoire might compliment my colouring but compared to them and Rose I usually felt gauche and ostentatious by comparison. My hair was still the same flaming red as it always had been and my eyes were still as obnoxiously green.
When I was younger I would have given anything to have Dom or Vic’s colouring. They were both tall and willowy with the exquisite Veela features they inherited from Aunt Fleur, the only real difference between them being Vic had inherited a soft strawberry blonde hair tone, a combination of her parent’s genes, and her mother’s blue eyes.
Dom on the other hand was more striking, with white blonde hair and eyes so dark a brown they were really black she, especially in a white wedding dress resembled some otherworldly creature.
I knew that when Rose arrived she would look just as lovely as the other bridesmaids, her colouring was richer, but still soft at the same time with her huge velvety brown eyes and auburn hair.
Even Regan curled in an armchair watching Dom’s stressing with interest looked lovely; I had been surprised when James had brought her home, not only because I had never expected him to settle down, but because I couldn’t believe that they would go together.
Regan had always, in looks, reminded me of a porcelain doll with her pale skin and tiny, delicate proportions and features with her enormous blue eyes. I knew James loved her hair and she was wearing it loose today and it fell around her face in a reddish golden cloud.
Of course the image of a porcelain doll was amusing as I had seen just how well she could lose her temper.
In comparison to them all as I pulled on my dress, I couldn’t help but feel like I stood out like a weed in the middle of lilies.
“You look lovely,” said Regan sincerely “I’d get up and hug you but I'm not so good at moving around these days,” she smiled ruefully at her heavily pregnant stomach.
“It will be worth it in the end,” said Vic with a proud smile as she bent over the crib in the corner of the room and lifted up her nine month old son Remus from his crib.
I surveyed the infant “he has pink hair today?”
Vic sighed “I tried to get him to tone it down but I think he thinks it's funny to see mummy trying to fix his hair so he keeps changing it.”
“Good for him,” said Dom proudly “he’s my favourite nephew.”
Vic snorted “he’s your only nephew unless Louis has something he’d like to share.”
“Well he’s still my favourite,” said Dom proudly as she meekly allowed Vic to apply her lipstick in a rich shade of scarlet.
“Nana Weasley is going to flip when she see’s that,” I commented idly “she has that ridiculous prejudice against red lipstick.”
“Only because she can’t wear it” said Dom smugly.
“Hey watch it,” I flicked my hair “redhead in the room.”
“Three actually,” said Vic calmly “and Regan has red hair, she wears red lipstick all the time.”
Dom snorted “please, Regan’s hair is not red, it’s gold.”
“It’s red,” said Regan firmly “don't argue with me, I'm pregnant.”
Dom chuckled “don't argue with me, I'm getting married.”
I smiled to myself; despite their bickering I knew Dom and Regan had become fast friends over the past year “play nicely children.”
Remus gurgled to himself and his hair turned the same red as Dom’s lipstick causing her to burst out laughing “Clever boy,” she cooed.
Regan shuddered “no offence Vic, but I'm so glad my kid won’t be able to do that.”
“None taken,” Vic assured her “There was nothing fun about him turning my hair green while I was pregnant.”
“Where is Rose?” demanded Dom abruptly “she was supposed to be here an hour ago! I only have two bridesmaids and the least she could do would be show up on time!”
“Actually,” James entered the room and kissed Regan soundly before turning to Dom “you have three.”
Dom paused to consider this “you don't count,” she said finally “Vic and Rose are my bridesmaids, you're my maid... or man of honour.”
“Which is a bridesmaid,” said James stubbornly.
“James...” interrupted Regan in a dangerous tone “why is that tie not still in our kitchen bin?”
“I fished it out,” said James cheerfully “I think it looks dashing.”
“It looks stupid,” Regan corrected flatly “and I'm going to strangle you with it in a minute.”
James just chuckled “you love me too much to ever strangle me,” he kissed her again.
Regan struggled not to smile “Well...” she conceded “True, but I will still burn the tie.”
“Forget that,” said Dom “I have no compunctions about strangling him if he doesn’t take it off.”
James looked pained “but last night you said it was funny.”
“At the rehearsal dinner...” said Dom slowly “not at the actual wedding.”
“Scorpius and Rose just apperated to the drive,” Vic announced from her position by the window.
“Why did she have to bring him?” muttered James causing Vic to elbow him in the ribs
“Play nicely,” she hissed.
“I invited him,” said Dom firmly “he’s part of the reason Lysander and I ended up together and Rose wouldn’t have come without him.”
“I still say we should have left him a giant canary,” muttered James.
I snorted “please, James, you turned him into one over a decade ago; it’s time the two of you moved on.”
“We would,” Scorpius’s drawl sounded from the doorway “but he can’t help being just a little in love with me.”
James snorted “you wish, but sorry, don't swing that way, I have a wife.”
Scorpius smirked “ah yes, how is Fudgy the whale?”
Regan looked vaguely offended “I am not a whale,” she said in a dignified tone “I am pregnant, and even if I did happen to be an aquatic mammal of any kind I would certainly not be named Fudgy.”
“Don’t push it Skip,” said Dom firmly.
Scorpius looked pained “please, don't call me that.”
“Scorpius!” Rose’s voice echoed from down the hall “you’d better not be fighting with James!”
“He is!” yelled James with a smirk.
I chuckled as Scorpius scowled at James and went to look for Rose “leave him alone James, every time the two of you have a fight and Rose finds out she makes him sleep on the couch.”
James looked as if Christmas had come early “Really? Excellent!”
Regan hit his arm “you’ll be sleeping on the couch as well if you ruin this wedding,” she said firmly.
“Have some mercy Fudgy,” said James with a wicked gleam in his eye.
Regan glared “not even vaguely funny,” she muttered “it’s bad enough you butchered my real name into Regan but you are not calling me Fudgy.”
Vic smiled “I’d forgotten that,” she laughed “I don't think any of us even remember that your name’s really Regina.”
“Great,” Regan muttered “thanks James.”
James just grinned and kissed her again “no problem love,” he said cheekily.
Dom sighed “Lily, can you please go and find Rose?”
I grinned “no problem.”
Only it turned out to be a problem as I searched the house and couldn’t find her anywhere. Since I knew she and Scorpius were both friends with Lysander and considering that Scorpius was a groomsman I decided to stop by Louis’s old room which was being used by the groom to get dressed in.
I coughed as I entered and my lungs filled with cigar smoke “what is that?” I demanded.
Lysander grinned at me looking as ridiculously handsome as ever as he brushed his dark hair out of his eyes, I couldn’t help but think that whatever children he and Dom produced would have hit the genetic goldmine “Al bought some cigars from a Cuban wizard in Knockturn alley last week.”
Al’s face grinned at me “I felt I needed some kind of pick me up since as the best man I have to walk the maid of honour down the aisle and James and I are just going to look weird on each other’s arm.”
I chuckled “have either of you seen Scorpius and Rose?”
“I'm here!” Scorpius drawled from behind a haze of smoke “but I was about to go and look for Rose anyway, wait here.” With that he exited the room taking his cigar with him.
“If Aunt Fleur or Nana catches him with that they’ll shoot him,” I said warningly.
Al snorted “that would be a tragedy.”
“Whatever,” I muttered “I'm going to go look for Rose myself,” with that I turned around and walked straight into what felt like a brick wall but turned out to be an extremely well muscled chest instead.
“Sorry,” Lorcan Scamander grinned down at me and my heart nearly stopped. He was even better looking than the last time I’d seen him at the end of his seventh year at Hogwarts. He was a few inches taller than Lysander which was saying something and his tan was a lot darker. I had always considered Lysander handsome but Lorcan made me almost swoon being more heavily muscled with blonde hair bleached from the sun. Only the grey eyes were the same.
Unfortunately though, I’d been in love with him for most of my time at Hogwarts... and he’d never even noticed me.
“Hi...” I stammered quickly “I didn’t see you there, sorry, it’s this cigar smoke, it makes visibility terribly difficult which isn’t too good, particularly in a room full of people, plus I'm wearing a full length dress. Not that that’s relevant to visibility, but it does make manoeuvring rather hard...” I blushed as I realised I was rambling, something that at twenty five I had hoped to learn to control already.
He looked taken aback by the sudden stream of chatter “that’s ok...” he said slowly.
I nodded forcing myself to speak slowly “what I meant to say,” I said calmly “is that you have my apologies for bumping into you.”
He looked like he was trying not to laugh “that's alright... Lily isn’t it?”
I nodded “yes.” My face burning, I cursed my red hair that made me blush so easily “I have to go now.”
“Wait up,” he said as he followed me to the door “are you looking for Rose?”
I nodded and spoke slowly again to control my urge to babble “Dom is looking for her.”
A twinkle entered his eyes as he held the door open for me and I knew he had noticed my blush “need any help?”
“No!” I all but shouted “I'm fine thanks.”
He chuckled “well I need to speak to Rose as well so I’ll come anyway.” As we exited into the hallway he looked at me curiously “I remember you being much younger,” he said matter of factly.
“Curious that,” I muttered “considering last time you saw me was nearly ten years ago, I actually was much younger.”
“Touché,” he looked amused “things have really changed around here.”
I blinked “what do you mean?”
He shrugged “well for one thing, ten years ago I would have never imagined James ever getting married, let alone having a kid. And I felt fairly certain that it would be a miracle if Dom and my brother made it for a year, let alone ended up married.”
“Things change,” I said calmly.
“Teaches me to leave England,” he said with a grin that made my heart turn a cartwheel “Egypt is fun but after a while you start to miss home.”
“What were you doing in Egypt?” I asked as I stuck my head into an empty bedroom looking for Rose.
“Working for Gringotts,” he answered as he looked in another room “treasure hunting and curse breaking.”
“And now you’re back for how long?”
“For good actually,” he said as we headed downstairs “I got headhunted by the ministry.”
He shrugged modestly “I'm heading up the foreign and magical antiquities department.”
I smiled “I have no idea what that is but congratulations.”
He chuckled “thanks, so what are you doing?”
“I'm a healer,” I said with another smile “At Saint Mungo’s.”
“Excellent,” Lorcan said with a grin “so if an enchanted antiquity ever attacks me I know who to Floo.”
I felt my blush creeping back and quickly distracted myself by approaching Lucy and Louis who were deep in conversation on the couch.
Lucy looked embarrassed as I approached “you didn’t overhear that did you?” she asked in her typically blunt fashion.
“No...” I said slowly “but I'm extremely curious.”
“Just leave it Lil,” said Louis with a chuckle as he pushed several strands of white blonde hair out of his eyes “it's taken me nearly two hours to get it out of her, you don't stand a chance.”
I decided not to push the issue with Lorcan standing behind me “have either of you seen Rose?”
“She and Scorpius went into the bathroom about ten minutes ago,” said Lucy before promptly ignoring us and returning to her whispered conversation with Louis.
“The bathroom?” I echoed in a confused tone “what are they doing in there?”
Lorcan chuckled “I’ll give you one guess.”
I blushed as I caught the innuendo “well can you go knock on the door?”
He blinked “why can’t you do it?”
“Because,” I said solemnly “if I hear my cousin and Scorpius having sex I think I just might be scarred for life.”
“Well I'm not particularly keen on having that experience either,” said Lorcan firmly “so I guess we’re just going to have to wait.”
“Can you wait somewhere else?” asked Lucy with a sigh as she tossed her toffee coloured hair over her shoulder “I really do need to talk to Louis.”
“Unless you want to go and get Rose...” I said slowly “you’ll just have to wait.”
“Cowards,” muttered Louis with a roll of his eyes as he got up and marched over to the bathroom and banged on the door “Oi!” he yelled “lovebirds, other people need to use the bathroom!”
An extremely embarrassed looking Uncle Ron emerged with Aunt Hermione and walked past all of us as we watched with our mouths open as the two of them avoided our gaze and disappeared into the kitchen.
“Ok...” said Louis slowly “I'm officially scarred for life now, thanks.”
“Were you looking for us?” Rose and Scorpius appeared from the hallway “I had to find Aunt Ginny and ask her something.”
“Bloody hell!” muttered Louis “it’s your fault I'm scarred for life now.”
Rose looked extremely confused “what?”
“Your parents were having sex in the bathroom and Louis thought it was you two and interrupted them,” said Lucy nonchalantly “now can everyone please go somewhere else, I really do need to tell Louis something.”
Rose looked stunned “they were not!” she exclaimed.
“They were in the bathroom together...” said Louis “what do you think they were doing?”
“I don't know!” exclaimed Rose “maybe dad had some spinach in his teeth and needed mums help to get it out?”
“With her tongue?” Louis snorted “doubt it.”
“Louis!” we all yelled.
He shrugged “what?”
Rose shuddered “ok I'm officially scarred for life; I'm going to go find Dom.” With that she took off up the stairs.
I rolled my eyes at Louis “nice, very tactful.”
He just shook his head “I'm scarred,” he repeated.
Lorcan shook his head with an amused look on his face “your family is strange.”
I raised one eyebrow “your parents make a living chasing after Crumpleheaded Snorkshacks...”
Lorcan just chuckled “touché.”
The wedding ceremony was beautiful, I was sitting in the second row with my parents and Nanna Weasley who sobbed from beginning to end after she got over her initial disapproval of Doms lipstick choice.
I admit to being slightly distracted from the ceremony as I watched Lorcan standing between Albus and Scorpius looking very handsome in his groomsman’s robes.
When the ceremony finished everyone moved out into the enormous garden overlooking the sea where Aunt Fleur and Nanna Weasley had erected an enormous marquee for the reception. Dom had already issued an order that no “gooey” toasts where to be made and if she caught anyone doing anything vaguely resembling the Macarena or a conga line she would hex them into oblivion.
Lorcan appeared at my arm as I stood smiling as I watched Lysander and Dom dance as they had what looked to be like their first bicker as a married couple.
“Do they ever agree?” Lorcan asked with a grin.
I grinned back “occasionally.”
I could see Regan and James across the room as they determinedly attempted to dance, not that it appeared to be going particularly gracefully since James was a terrible dancer and Regan was pregnant.
When the song ended Lysander and Dom came over to talk to us as they appeared to have finished their argument “did you like it?” Dom actually beamed at me.
I couldn’t help but smile at a rare show of enthusiasm on her behalf “it was lovely.”
“Can you do me a favour?” she asked urgently “and get me one of those mini quiches?”
Lorcan made a move to get one for her but I grabbed his arm to stop him “why?” I asked suspiciously, knowing my families habit to plant various prank food items on unsuspecting people “what will they turn us into?”
Dom chuckled “nothing as far as I know... but it's just I'm really hungry and every time Lysander and I try to get food someone blocks us and starts congratulating us and all I can think while they’re talking is ‘shut the fuck up I want a mini quiche’ which I don't think is what a bride is supposed to be thinking.”
“I don't think brides are supposed to swear either,” James grinned as he and Regan joined us and he solemnly handed Dom a napkin full of mini quiches “but there you have it.”
“Shut up,” said Dom mildly as she snatched the quiches and proceeded to eat faster than I’ve ever seen any human being eat.
“Hey!” objected Lysander “at least give me one.”
Dom solemnly handed him one weedy, slightly shrivelled quiche “here.”
He looked offended “I got the dud!”
Dom chuckled and looked him over “get used to it, so did I.”
He glared at her in mock offense “Did you just call me the dud?”
She nodded and ate the last quiche “yes. But you’re my dud.”
“Damn straight,” Lysander fairly beamed with pride “and there’s no going back.”
“There’s always divorce,” said James cheerfully.
Regan whacked him on the back of the head “you’re an ass,” she said in an equally cheerful tone.
Lorcan looked confused “do those two actually like each other?” he asked quietly.
I laughed “yes, they adore each other actually.”
“Right then,” he said with a chuckle “do you want to dance?”
Lorcan Scamander was a very good dancer I decided, unlike James who seemed to think it was amusing to step on your toes, or Albus who stepped on your toes because he was too uncoordinated to do anything else.
I had to keep reminding myself to breathe, and not to chatter inanely, both of which I tend to do when I'm nervous.
If Lorcan minded my constant stream of chatter he certainly didn’t show it, he seemed to be altogether amused by it actually.
I'm not sure how long we danced for, but it must have been a while because eventually the music stopped and James began to make a toast, against Dom’s express orders, which involved attempting to embarrass everyone present as much as possible while Regan was inside getting her wrap and not around to stop him.
I shuddered “let’s go inside, this won’t be pretty once Dom or Regan gets to him.”
Lorcan chuckled “Are all the women in your family violent?”
“I'm not,” I said with a shrug as we crossed the porch.
It was then, for reasons I'm still not entirely sure of that he kissed me and I decided that I didn’t particularly care about anything else.
By the time he finally stopped kissing me had ended up in the bathroom somehow and I quickly decided that I did not like the fact that he had stopped. So, decided to be proactive I kissed him instead and found it to be quite a nice solution to the problem.
“Merlin’s pants!” a voice came from the doorway about ten minutes later and Lorcan was yanked away from me by an extremely irate Hugo.
“Hugo!” I exclaimed “what the hell is wrong with you?”
“What the hell is wrong with me?” he demanded “he was attacking you!”
Lorcan looked offended “I was not!”
Hugo snorted “he looked like he was trying to eat your face.”
Speechless with rage I stormed past both Hugo and Lorcan and back out to the marquee.
Roxie cornered me as I was drinking a glass of champagne plotting the death of Hugo.
“Are you ok?” she asked with a chuckle as she helped herself to a glass as well “because I saw you and Lorcan together.”
Cursing the fact that my best friend was freakishly observant I quickly explained “well at lease you didn’t have to feed him a love potion this time,” she said with an amused glint in her eyes.
I blushed as I recalled the unfortunate incident in fifth year when I had enlisted Roxie’s help to try and feed poor Lorcan a love potion which went horribly wrong because Roxie and I were both hopeless at potions.
“Are you alright?” Dom and Regan broke away from where they were chatting further down the table and came over to us “because Hugo is looking for you and so is Lorcan.”
“Dom is this table big enough for me to hide under?” I asked desperately.
“See!” Hugo exclaimed triumphantly to James as they approached “she’s hiding from him!”
“Right!” exclaimed James “go get Al,” he turned to Dom “Apologies but we’re going to have to kill your new brother in law.”
“No one is killing anyone,” said Roxie firmly “just because Lil and Lorcan made out...”
“What?” interrupted Dom “why didn’t anyone tell me?”
“It only happened like ten minutes ago,” I explained “and I happened to like kissing him so no one is killing anyone.”
“Besides,” said Roxie “Lily has a right to kiss whoever she wants, Freddy’s spent the whole evening off on the beach with one of Lysander’s slutty cousins and I think he’s doing a hell of a lot more than kissing her, are you going to go kill her?”
“No one’s killing anyone at my wedding,” said Dom firmly.
“Who are we killing?” Scorpius and Rose had noticed the disturbance and come to join us.
“You,” said James grumpily.
“Lorcan,” said Hugo “he tried to eat Lily’s face.”
Rose looked confused “is he a cannibal now?”
Scorpius chuckled “I think Hugo means they were kissing... and apparently not very skilfully.”
“It was very skilful!” I interrupted indignantly “I’ll have you know Lorcan is an excellent kisser!”
James and Hugo traded glances “well now we really have to kill him.”
“Kill who?” Louis and Lucy looked amused as they joined us.
“Me apparently,” Lorcan appeared behind me.
“He made out with Lily in a bathroom,” explained Hugo “ergo he must die.”
“Why are you that mad?” Louis looked amused “it's not like this is a new thing, Lil’s been trying to do him for like ten years, remember in her fifth year when she and Roxie tried to feed him a love potion and he ended up falling in love with Moaning Myrtle instead because they didn’t make it right?”
I felt my face burn and I quite honestly hoped that a meteor would fall from the sky and squish me... or squish Louis.
“Louis!” everyone yelled and Dom whacked him on the back of the head.
“What?” he seemed genuinely confused “what did I say.”
Unable to take it anymore I decided, quite logically in my opinion, that fleeing was the best tactic; however since I had left my wand upstairs I had to resort to non magical methods, such as locking myself in the bathroom.
This of course reminded me even more of Lorcan so as such I sat down cross legged in the bathtub feeling quite sorry for myself.
“Lily?” his voice sounded from outside the door.
Panicking I decided, quite stupidly, to lie “no,” I said in the deepest growliest voice I could manage “there’s no Lily here... just me... Bob.”
What sounded like a strangled choking noise came from outside the bathroom door and I was left to assume that either Lorcan was choking on a mini quiche or he was laughing at me.
“Ok then Bob,” he said through his laughter/choking “can I come in please?”
“No!” I said in the deep voice “I'm busy...”
I quickly said the first thing that popped into my head, which unfortunately happened to be “I'm having sex with my goat...” I then realised that this was probably the stupidest thing anyone had ever said... ever.
The choking noise sounded from outside the door again “I never thought I would be jealous and competing with a goat,” he said “but apparently I am.”
“Go away!” I groaned. Shutting my eyes and wishing the world would just end.
I heard a muttered spell and the door swung open to reveal Lorcan looking extremely amused as he entered the room “hi Bob,” he said with a chuckle “it’s funny, but you look remarkably like this girl I know, her name’s Lily.”
“You’re an ass,” I informed him and shut my eyes again.
“So,” he said sitting on the edge of the bathtub “you wanted to ‘do’ me since fifth year then?”
“No.” I squeaked.
“Liar,” he said gently, and kissed me, nearly falling into the tub as he did so.
“Wait...” I broke away in surprise “so you don't think I'm some weird, crazy, psycho?”
He chuckled again “Lil, I always thought you were a weird, crazy, psycho, and you talk a lot, the only thing is, I kind of like it.”
I was unsure of whether to be offended or not, but decided that quite frankly I didn’t really care once he kissed me again.
“So, Bob,” he said with a grin “do you think you might want to go on a date with me at some point... outside this bathroom?”
A voice sounded from behind Lorcan “Bob? What is it with you men and naming innocent girls male names?”
I looked up at Regan and Dom standing in the doorway “I mean...” Regan continued “James turning Regina into Regan was bad enough, but I fail to see how Lily can possibly be turned into Bob?”
Lorcan chose to ignore the two laughing women in the doorway “well?” he asked.
I laughed “yes, I would like to join you on a date outside this bathroom.
“Excellent,” he replied and without another word shut the door on Regan and Dom and quickly turned the lock. He raised one eyebrow and grinned “well then Bob, can I be your goat?”
I burst out laughing “that is quite possibly the weirdest pick up line I’ve ever heard, however,” I grinned “yes, you may be my goat.”
He continued to grin “excellent.”
And once he kissed me again I had to agree, it really was excellent.
A/N Review please
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