It had been three days since I had gotten the letter which brought me back to what I was and the life I had left behind.
How different the life that I am living now to the one I had once known.
There are so many things you don’t know about me. Things that I am not proud of, I have disappointed myself whilst ruining my hopes and dreams. The things that I had once wanted but didn’t happen.
One of them is how I came to lose my friends...
Even now I can still picture the last arguments we had, the last disappointing looks we had shared. The last words. These were painful memories. I can still remember the looks, words. I can still remember the painful thoughts, both theirs and mine. The things they thought of me, the way I now think of them. I can’t not feel this way about them now, that letter has brought everything back, it wasn’t so much the words it was the mystery. There were no clues.
I feel useless, insane almost. It is just hopeless to think about it. What will I gain?
“Nurse Orchard... Evelyn!”
I snapped out of my trance. It was Doctor Stewart.
“Yes?” I asked unquestionably, extremely confused.
“We have Congenital Cataracts, in one of the newborn’s eyes, in room 3.”
I had spent 3 hours in surgery fixing the babies left eye. When I had first started doing stuff like this I was scared, and I had a right to be, as it affects their sight. I don’t do this sort of thing every day, but everyday there is an off chance of doing it. It was just a normal procedure. I can still remember the first time I did it. They had sedated the baby. I had cried. The baby had looked so peaceful. He looked dead. I got over that.
I realised in all those 3 hours I hadn’t thought about that letter again. I was on my rounds checking the mothers. I went straight to Mrs Claire Summers, who was expecting her 4th child, I had proudly helped deliver her three older children, and she was by far my favourite patient. Whenever anyone was giving birth in the rooms next-door or along the corridor, she would always shout “oh c’mon girlies, it isn’t that hard try being in here expecting your 4th then you can have the right to scream.” She was a laugh. I loved her, she was a genuine care free mother, she always faced up to challengers and being a mother for the 4th time was one of them. She was an idol for all of woman kind and would never back down for anything.
I walked in and smiled at her.
“Hello love, how are you? I haven’t seen you in a while.” She said smiling widely at me. She was lying as I saw her not 5 hours ago.
“Hey Claire, I’m fine how is your little one getting on? That is a lie. I remember telling you to take it easy, as you were screaming at Mrs Brooks, who’s still in labour, and we had to move her as she was getting too stressed and the pain was getting unbearable.” I said smiling at Claire.
“Well she should not be such a baby. I was getting an ear ache. If she wanted to be so loud, go to a private care, I on the other hand do not want to hear her groaning and screaming about it. She needs to get a grip.” She said huffily. “Or a hospital where they you can have a special labour and choose what you have instead of going natural.”
We both burst out laughing.
“Well Mrs Summers, I very well remember you screaming, when little Mikey popped out after 38 hours in this very room, and I am pretty sure you had used three tanks of oxygen” I said smirking at her.
She stuck her tongue out at me, and chucked a pillow at me, obviously aiming for my head which missed by a foot.
We both burst into laughter again.
“Anyway, my little Bonny baby won’t cause me any pain.” She said stroking her stomach adoringly. “Will you my little sweetie?”
“You won’t be saying that much in another two months.” I said checking her data form on how long until she was due for her little arrival.
“Shouldn’t you be on your way?” She said smirking at me.
“Indeed, indeed I should be Claire, see you soon.” With that I left.
“I was joking!” I heard her shout behind me, and when I ignored her, I heard a small ‘Humph’.
I had to stay an extra fifteen minutes as someone decided to muck up the sign in sheets for women who were in the ward at that time and fifty people weren’t on that list.
I took the long route to walk home. I didn’t need to pick up Annabelle as Ivy was going to do it. Over the last few days, it had been like I was a shell. I feel lifeless I just doing four things: eating, sleeping, working and breathing. I had kept myself wholly to myself. Answering questions with a nod or shake of the head, when people asked me a question I barely uttered an answer, just a quick yes or no... It was few people like my favourite patient Claire who got me to smile or laugh or have a half decent conversation with.
That letter made me scared.
Scared for my life.
I don’t want to worry Ivy. It causes so much stress to her and to me to watch her when she’s like that. We try not to show it as Annie picks up on this type of thing easily...
The last time Ivy went like that was after I left, I couldn’t tell her what was wrong what I was doing. She gets ill seeing me like this; she’d lost a stone in one month. It made me ill to see her like that.
That letter will not tear our family apart. They will not tear our family apart again. I would go to the ends of the world for those girls, and no one not even those pigheaded bastards who wrecked my life can stop me...
For no reason at all I was fuming. I could sense something, something strange...change.
Dwelling over this I walked back home slowly and deliberately, deliberating over each step trying to clear my head of all negative thoughts...
I was nearly home then. I was walking down the cobbled street, I ran up the stone steps and fumbled with the clasp on my handbag to try and find my keys; I found them and then unlocked the door.
“Hey!” I shouted.
“In here!” Ivy shouted back.
I put my keys down on the polished oak coffee table along with my handbag. And walked to join Ivy in the lounge. She isn’t normally in there I thought to myself, normally in the kitchen. I walked towards the living room door, undoing the buttons on my duffle coat as I went.
I stopped dead at who was standing in front of me. Ivy was standing by the fireplace and Annabelle was sitting on the floor playing.
It wasn’t that.
It was a cloaked figure coming out of the shadows...