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Déjà Vu by dream_BIG
Chapter 8 : Computer-Fights, Bunny Slippers, and Dumbledore’s Sexy Portrait
Rating: MatureChapter Reviews: 55

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hey, guys! another chapter, woo-hoo!!
i wont ramble now, but there will be questions at the end :D
enjoy :)

Family Studies.

In the middle of all this chaos, McGonagall goes and comes up with a new class. Like, seriously. Family Studies?!

We’re freaking magical. You want to cook up some food? Buy the food, say a spell, and viola! You’ve charmed that food into a meal. It’s that simple.

But no. We have Family Studies – which, for some reason, McGonagall thinks is actually going to be beneficial – where we get our wands taken away from us as soon as we walk into the classroom.

That’s right. THEY TOOK AWAY MY WAND. My wand. MY. WAND.

I don’t think I’ve ever felt so vulnerable in my life.


“She’s officially gone wonky.” Fred muttered as he took in the scene around him. “Family Studies? What the hell is she thinking?”

“I bet she was talking to Dumbledore’s portrait again.” Alex murmured, looking interestedly at one of the computers on the desk.

“Why would she do that?” Fred cried, throwing his hands up.

“Because they’re both insane and she just needs some company?” Ella guessed.

Alex laughed. “Of course not! It’s because she’s passionately in love with him and his sexy portrait. Duh, Ella.”

Fred laughed, looking at Alex like he just noticed she was there.

“Oh, of course.” Ella rolled her eyes. “Why didn’t I think of that?”

“Because you were too busy thinking about your amazing boyfriend.” Jason’s tone implied the ‘of course’.

“Who?” Ella asked innocently, turning to him with a mischievous look in her eyes.

“Oh, that’s it.” He tickled her until she begged him to stop, then pulled her around and started enthusiastically kissing her. James caught my eye and I made a face at him, making him grin, which made me quickly look away. Crappers.

“OI!” Fred said indignantly. “Do you mind?”

Jason pulled away from her. “Nope.” He started kissing her again.

“Hey, hey!” Alex pushed them apart and stood between them with her hands on her hips. “Despite what you may think, watching you two snog is very traumatizing.”

“Oh, you shouldn’t be talking, love.” Jason said, smirking. “What about all that snogging with Connery, huh?”

Alex tossed her hair back. “That’s different.”

“Really? How?” I asked, cocking an eyebrow.

Alex thought for a second. “Okay, well, it’s not different, but watching you two do it is still disgusting, so stop, okay?”

“Fine.” Ella sighed, untangling herself from Jason, who pouted. “Later.” She whispered to him, and he immediately perked up.

“Uh, no.” James said, looking amused. “Later is Quidditch practice, and if you two aren’t there, I will personally hunt you down. Got it?”

Jason sulked while Ella muttered, “Yeah, yeah.”

“Alright, class!”

I turned around towards the front of the classroom to see our new teacher, who was an old-ish witch with dark brown hair and a friendly smile.

“Everyone, take a seat! I’m going to let you pick groups of no more than four –” Here I made a face at my friends, who all looked crestfallen, “ – and you guys need to sit close to each other.”

As she turned around, there was a mad scrambling and much yelling so that students would get to sit with friends.

“I’m with Artemis.” Dom immediately moved next to me, and I noticed that she stood slightly behind me, her shoulder just touching mine.

That’s when I realized: I was her protector. She counted on me to be there for her.

And of course I will. I’m her best friend. That’s what best friends are for! (along with being incessantly annoying, stealing your clothes, and sleeping with your twin brother)

Ella and Jason were holding hands, so I figured that they would want to be together, and one of Jason’s friends from detention (apparently they served it together for six months because they decided to prank Slughorn) was standing with them, talking animatedly with Jason while Ella listened.

“I’ll go with Artemis and Dom.” Fred said, and Alex immediately moved with Ella, Jason, and the friend, grimacing slightly at me.

“Guess that means I’m stuck with you freaks.” James joked as he came and slung an arm over Dom.

“Oh, look,” I said dryly. “Family reunion.”

“Hey, yeah!” Freddie said excitedly. “If only Roxters wasn’t a bloody Ravenclaw.”

“Oi, what about me?!” I asked indignantly.

“But,” Fred continued. “You make the perfect substitute.” He smiled brightly at my suspicious, narrowed eyes.

“Nice save, mate.” James rolled his eyes, and together, we sat at one of the tables.

“Alright!” The teacher clapped her hands. “Everyone, turn on their computers!”

I looked blankly at the device sitting in front of me. “Er…”

“It’s this button.” James leaned over and pressed a button on the screen-thingy, then leaned down and pressed another button on this large box-like device. The computer whirred to life, and I sat back, looking at it in surprise.


“Cool, huh?” James grinned at me. “It’s pretty awesome how muggles get along without magic.”

“Yeah,” I said absently, then immediately turned around and started talking to Dom, who was still looking pale and nervous.

I didn’t miss the flash of hurt across James’ face. Seeing it made a sharp pain jab into my heart, and I gritted my teeth against it.

I’m doing the right thing. I’m doing the right thing.

“Okay!” The teacher said, after assisting about half the class in turning the computers on. “First, we will be learning about how muggles communicate with these devices. I want you to click on the large ‘E’, and then use the mouse – it’s this thing right here – to move along the screen and click the bar along the top. Then type in this address –” she wrote down a long word with many periods on the board “ – and you’ll get to something muggles call a website. Follow the instructions and make yourself a screenname.”

Very carefully, I followed her instructions, using my fingers to push down on the keys.

“This is so weird.” Freddie whispered as he punched at the letters, looking up between every one to make sure it showed up on the bar-thing.

I looked over and saw that James was typing with ease, his fingers moving swiftly across the board. “How are you doing that?” I asked before I could stop myself.

He looked a bit surprised, but also pleased that I spoke to him first. “I asked Dad and Aunt Hermione. I really like muggle things. I’ve got one of these at home; my Uncle Dudley bought it for me. He’s not the brightest, but he pampers us beyond anything.” He grinned, and I couldn’t help but smile back a little. I quickly turned back to the screen, and typed the information in.

Why is he telling me these things? I don’t want to know, damn it. They make him seem more real, more sweet. And I find myself slipping farther and farther into this. I can’t let myself fall. I can’t.


Of course, the first thing we discuss when we get our screen names is Quidditch. What else?

Yay, Quidditch! You’ve officially taken over my life.

Jay_boy_BEATyourARSE: No way! There’s no way that I’m coming to practice for three hours!

Prongs.Junior: You have to!

Jay_boy_BEATyourARSE: Whyyyyyyyyyyyy?!

SilverSeeingEyes: Jason, did you just computer-whine?

Alex_MATT_4everz: I believe he did.

EllsBells_bludger.of.DOOM: Not cool, Jay.

Freddieboy_96: Oi, when’s the match anyway?

DomInikkiex3: Fred, you’re freaking commentating on it! Shouldn’t you know that?

Freddieboy_96: No.

SilverSeeingEyes: You’re pathetic.

Freddieboy_96: What is this?! ‘Pick on the attractive one’ day? Go make fun of Jason again!

Jay_boy_BEATyourARSE: Freddie, you just implied that I’m attractive.

EllsBells_bludger.of.DOOM: OI! You stay away from my man, Fred!

Freddieboy_96: Sorry to disappoint Jason, but I don’t roll that way.

Prongs.Junior: Fred, we have no doubts about your sexuality, trust me. We’ve seen you groping that Mallory girl against the wall – DISGUSTING, MAN.

DomInikkiex3: Yeah, do you even like her?

Freddieboy_96: Well, she’s hot…

SilverSeeingEyes: Of course he doesn’t like her. She’s just boobs, a butt, and no personality in between. Oh, and something to snog. By the way, your technique sucks, Fred.

Jay_boy_BEATyourARSE: What I say: practice makes perfect. That’s why me and Ella are so good at snogging, you know.

EllsBells_bludger.of.DOOM: …and, because of that BLATANT LIE, I am not snogging you for a whole week.

Jay_boy_BEATyourARSE: What?! NO! NO, I lied! WE DON’T SNOG THAT MUCH!

Prongs.Junior: Jason, I can hear you whimpering from over here.

SilverSeeingEyes: Pathetic, Jason. PATHETIC.

Jay_boy_BEATyourARSE: Stop making fun of me! Go pick on Fred again!

Freddieboy_96: OI!

DomInikkiex3: Before I forget, the match is in two weeks, Freddie.

Alex_MATT_4everz: It's good to know you take your job so seriously, Fred.

Freddieboy_96: I believe that was sarcasm. Because I honestly don't take my job seriously at all.

Alex_MATT_4everz: Wow, you’re quick! You should apply for the new Captain Obvious!

Freddieboy_96: Jeez, Alexandria, chill! What, are you on your period or something?

Alex_MATT_4everz: No, actually, but you might need to see if you’re on yours, since you seem to be permanently set on ‘horny’, Frederick.

Freddieboy_96: I wouldn’t be talking, Little Miss ‘Tonsil Tennis’. And the name is Fred. Not Frederick.

Alex_MATT_4everz: At least I actually like my boyfriend! The same can’t be said for you and Mallory What’s-her-face, your precious fuck-buddy.

Freddieboy_96: Who said I didn’t like her?! HUH?! WHO SAID THAT?!

Alex_MATT_4everz: It’s as plain as day, but you’re too much of an imbecile to see whatever’s right in front of your face.

Freddieboy_96: Yeah, well here’s an eye-opener for you: Your precious, precious Matt? Yeah, he doesn’t even like you. He’s just using you.

Alex_MATT_4everz: Why do you even fucking care, Fred? Huh? Enlighten me. Since you seem to be the master of all relationships.

Freddieboy_96: I’m trying to protect you. You’re going to get hurt.


Freddieboy_96: FINE! See if I care anymore!

DomInikkiex3: Um, guys? We’re kinda still here.


Freddieboy_96: GOOD! I DON’T!

EllsBells_bludger.of.DOOM: …So, how about them Cannons?

Alex_MATT_4everz: GOOD! You never have; why start now?!

Prongs.Junior: Oh, yeah. Cannons? Definitely. I love the Cannons. WOOHOO! Go Cannons, yeah! Don’t you love them, too, Fred?

Jay_boy_BEATyourARSE: James, you hate the Cannons.

SilverSeeingEyes: THE HARPIES! They’re going to win for sure.

Freddieboy_96: MAYBE I HAVE CARED, ALEX!

Prongs.Junior: Hey, my mom played for the Harpies!!!

Alex_MATT_4everz: No you haven’t. Don’t lie, Fred. For years, I was hoping that you’d say one thing to me, one thing that would make me feel at least a little wanted, and what do you do? You ignore me. Like I’m ‘just another fangirl’ or something. Isn’t that what you told James?

Freddieboy_96: I never said that!

Alex_MATT_4everz: LIAR. You said that, and we both know it.

SilverSeeingEyes: Alex, Fred, please stop fighting. Please?

Alex_MATT_4everz: NO, I WON’T STOP. I’m not giving up again, Missy. I won’t do it.

Freddieboy_96: Wait…you gave up? You gave up on me?

Alex_MATT_4everz: Oh, no, Fred, I’m trying to woo you right now, whilst computer-screaming at you in apparent rage. Is it working?

Freddieboy_96: Alex…why’d you give up?


Alex_MATT_4everz: WHY DO YOU CARE?

Freddieboy_96: Just…wondering. That’s it. I just…wondering.

Alex_MATT_4everz: Because I realized that you’re not worth it.

Prongs.Junior: Ouch.

Jay_boy_BEATyourARSE: Shit, man. That sucks.

Freddieboy_96: What? I’m…not worth it?

Alex_MATT_4everz: YES. YOU ARE NOT. WORTH. IT. Because you never cared. I was just wasting my time. All those years…

Freddieboy_96: Alex…I’m sorry…It’s just…I never noticed before. And I guess…yeah. I’m sorry. I, um...

Alex_MATT_4everz: I hardly see how saying sorry is going to help now, but at least you tried.

Freddieboy_96: I’m a bloke, Alex! You can’t blame a bloke for not noticing

Alex_MATT_4everz: Me? Not noticing me? Because I’m just so plain and boring, right?

Freddieboy_96: NO! Well…not anymore…

Alex_MATT_4everz: Oh, okay. So I start wearing make-up, and suddenly I’m not boring anymore? You’re such a shallow arsehole.

Freddieboy_96: Well, the make-up helps, but I was actually talking about your sarcastic…you know…personality. You’re like, witty. Funny. Guys like that.

Alex_MATT_4everz: Wishing you noticed before?

Jay_boy_BEATyourARSE: Not like this conversation is absolutely riveting, but we sort of have to go in five minutes. Just a heads-up.

Prongs.Junior: Alright. Practice at six, guys!

Freddieboy_96: Sort of, yeah.

EllsBells_bludger.of.DOOM: James, the Quidditch Gods are going to send you to Quidditch hell for being a sucky captain.

Prongs.Junior: Actually, the Quidditch Gods love me. So there.

DomInikkiex3: Hey, look! It’s time to go!

The bell rang, and after sticking up her middle finger at Fred, who looked thoroughly amused, Alex stalked out of the classroom, leaving about half of her books behind. Sighing, I picked them up and stuffed them in my bag so I could give them to Alex later.

After helping Ella shove Jason out the door and slapping Fred across the face (what? He’s being an arse), I took Dom’s elbow and started pulling her away from Fred, who was standing next to James and looked remorseful.

“I didn’t mean it.” Fred said, his voice burning with regret.

I turned around. “Then why’d you say it, Fred?”

Fred shrugged and looked down. “I don’t know. I shouldn’t have, though.”

“Yeah, you shouldn’t have. Because now, Ella, Jason, and Alex are all pissed at you.” Dom said, glaring at him.

“I really didn’t mean it, though.” Fred’s eyes were beseeching, begging us to believe him.

So I did. “I know you didn’t, Freddie.” I smiled at him a little. “Sometimes, when a person is mad, they say the wrong thing.”

“I wish I didn’t say those things.” Fred whispered, looking down again. James put a hand on his shoulder.

“You should go and apologize to them. To her, specifically.” 

…and that would be about when my vision swirled crazily around, and I fell to the floor in a dead faint.

Of course, I didn’t actually faint, but it sure looked like it on the outside. Thank god I managed to close my eyes before I went…under, or, um…over…into the realm of…visions.

I need to work on that name.

“I’m never talking to him again. Ever.”

Alex’s angry, tear-stained face swam into view.

“Alex…he didn’t mean it, love. You know that, right?” Jason asked her, rubbing her arm gently as she cried next to him. She sniffed and wiped her nose off on the back of her hand.

Jason and Alex were tucked into their special best friend niche thingy, where they went and did…best friend like things.

Okay, before you get all ‘OMG HE’S CHEATING ON ELLA OTHERWISE WHY WOULD HE EVEN BE THERE’, I should stress on the fact that Jason and Alex are best friends, nearly siblings. Well, they’re cousins. Like…third cousins or something. But their families have always been best friends, so they’re really close.

That’s right. They’re RELATED.

Exactly. So you can stop freaking out about all of this.

“Still… it hurt.” She said in a small voice, tucking herself into his lap and leaning her head into the crook where his shoulder and neck met. Jason wrapped one hand around her, still rubbing her arm.

“You and Ella are so alike.” He smiled. “That’s right where she sits.”

“And Artemis, whenever she needs a bear hug.” Alex also smiled a little.

“And Dom, when James isn’t here…Merlin, what am I, like the teddy bear of the group or something?” Jason asked indignantly, and Alex grinned.

“Well, yeah. You’re so big and warm.” She cuddled into him and he chuckled and planted a light kiss to the top her head.

“You know he didn’t mean it, right?” Jason finally asked her after a short silence.

“If he didn’t mean it, why’d he say it?”

“He was upset. You know what happens when people are upset about things.”

Another short silence.

“Matt tells me I overreact about everything.” Alex finally said. “I guess that’s what I’m doing here.”

“Not really; Artemis is more of the dramatic one. She blows everything out of proportion.” Jason laughed a little, and I scowled.

“He also asked me if I liked Fred.” Alex said in a small voice.

“What did you tell him?”

“I said that I did, but I don’t anymore.” Her voice was still small.

“What did he say?” Jason asked cautiously.

“He got really mad.” Alex sighed. “He told me that if I liked someone else, I shouldn’t be dating him, and I told him that I don’t like Fred anymore, and he said that he didn’t believe me!” Her voice held shock. “I mean, I just ranted about how much I hate the arse, and he’s there thinking I’m in love with him!”

“Well…what did you say after he got mad?” Jason asked, his voice sounding a bit angrier.

“I told him not to be stupid, and he started yelling more.” Alex said glumly. “He says he loves me, but he gets mad at me a lot.”

“I hate him.” Jason said angrily. “He’s no good for you, Alex. He treats you like dirt.”

“No!” Alex said earnestly, looking up at him. “He really does love me. He tells me so, all the time. And I like him, too. A lot.”

“But you don’t love him.”

“I don’t think so.” Alex said unsurely. “He tells me that I do. He goes ‘I love you, just like you love me’, but I never even said that I loved him. I don’t know. Matt’s confusing. But he’s my first boyfriend, so I wouldn’t really know too much about dating and stuff.”

“Let me guess – he told you that.” Jason’s voice was burning with disgust. “He’s such a gitfaced arsehole.”

“Jason! Don’t say that about him! He’s my boyfriend.” Alex swatted his arm.

“Yeah yeah.” He hugged her closer to him. “I’ll be nice…only because he’s your boyfriend. But he hurts you and he’s dead.”

“Overprotective fool.” But Alex smiled and nestled into him anyway. “You’re the best, Jason. I love you, you know that?”

“I love you, too, Lexi.”

“YOU LYING, CHEATING WHORE!” The tapestry was ripped away to reveal a very angry Matthew Connery, and with a squeak of fear, Alex sat straight up.

“You’ve been cheating on me all along! I knew there was something up! You kept on going over to the Gryffindor dormitory –”

“That’s because she’s a Gryffindor, you moron!” Jason said, standing up so that Connery was no longer towering over them.

“You shut up.” Connery said, looking as though he wanted to punch Jason, but, seeing his size and build, deciding against it. Well, good to know he’s not a total imbecile.

“And you can just forget about ever talking to me again! You filthy little slut! Whore! You’re such a bitch, you’ve –”

“MATT!” Alex screamed, cutting him off before he got really worked up. “JASON IS MY COUSIN!”

“…lying – what?” Connery looked at a loss for words as he looked back and forth between Jason, who looked murderous, and Alex, who looked exasperated and a little scared.

“My cousin.” Alex explained. “Jason’s my cousin.”

“Oh.” Connery said stupidly. “But…you’re always with him…”

“Of course she’s always with me! We’re best friends, you idiot!” Jason threw his hands up in the air. “And I have a girlfriend, for Merlin’s sake!”

“Well...well, what about Fred Weasley, huh?” He demanded, going back on the offensive.

“I hate him.” Alex explained calmly. “I thought I made that pretty clear to you.”

“But you used to love him.” He said, pointing a triumphant finger at her. Matt Connery is an arse.

“USED to. In the past. She doesn’t anymore.” Jason rolled his eyes. “You’re really insecure, you know that? You’ve got to trust her.”

“Yeah. I didn’t mean it, love.” Matt said, smiling at Alex. It looked uncannily like a leer to me. Slimy little git. Jason noticed, too, because his gaze narrowed as he stared at Connery in blatant dislike.

“Alright, let’s go, Lexi.” Jason said, taking her arm.

“No, stay with me.” Matt said…well, ordered, really. There wasn’t a shred of doubt, an ounce of choice in his voice.

“Okay,” Alex agreed instantly. “I’ll see you later, Jason.”

“But…you have homework.” Jason said feebly, looking at their intertwined hands with a slightly horrified face, like there was no way he could stand and watch his best friend get taken away by someone as sleazy and disgusting as Matt.

Though my analysis of his expression may be a TAD biased, since that’s how I felt about this whole situation…

“I’ll do my homework with Matt.” Alex replied easily.

Matt brightened. “Excellent; I have this potions paper I really need help on…”

Still talking about the potions paper, he led Alex away from Jason, who stood there in the middle of the hallway, looking unsure and anxious.

“Artemis…Missy…” A hand lightly slapped me and I opened my eyes, taking a moment to focus on the scene around me. I was still on the ground, though my head and torso were propped up against James, who looked worried and anxious as he leaned over me, his arm wrapped protectively around me, holding me up. Fred was leaning over James, his expression mirroring the look on James’ face, and Dom was sitting in front of James, on my other side, looking slightly worried, but not as anxious.

“Hi,” I said airily, sitting up with an innocent smile.

“Are you okay?” James demanded.

“Me? I’m fine.” I smiled brightly, ignoring the turmoil rolling around inside me.

“You just fainted!” Fred said in an extremely shocked voice. “Just like that! You keeled over, and Merlin, if James hadn’t snapped out of it and caught you, you would have gotten a really bad concussion. And then you were like, smiling and scowling in your fainted state and it was –”

“Artemis.” James said in a worried voice, his arms tightening subconsciously when I tried to sneakily move away. “Are you sure you’re okay? Does this happen often? What triggered that? You shouldn’t just faint like that; it’s not normal! We should go and see Madame Pomphrey, this isn’t right –”

“No!” I said quickly. “I’m fine, really, it was nothing.”

“What was that, though? Do you know how that happened, Artemis?” James asked, still looking uncannily like an anxious mother demanding to know how her child got sick.

How was I supposed to explain this? ‘Oh yeah, James, I’m a Seer. I never mentioned that before? Whoops, my bad. Must have slipped my mind. I get visions at random times, and if I’m not prepared, I fall over. I’m not a freak or anything.’

Yeah, not bloody likely.

“She just got really worked up.” Dom explained patiently, standing up and pulling me to my feet. James reluctantly let me go. “It’s not a big deal James, it happens to her sometimes.”

“How did I not notice this?” He asked, running a hand through his hand. He looked frenzied, and his hair, which was sticking up in fifty different directions, made him look like a mad scientist.

Except, you know, more attractive…

“James, don’t beat yourself up, mate. It’s okay. So you didn’t notice one thing about Missy. It’s no big deal.” Fred said soothingly, patting him on the arm.

“You have to tell me these things!” James threw his hands up in the air. “I get worried! Do you know how scared I was, Artemis?”

…and I think that might be the cutest, most sweetest thing he has ever said to me.

Must. Not. Melt. Under. Adorable. Expression.

“Okay.” I said soothingly. “Take a deep breath. I’m okay. See? Perfectly intact. This isn’t new. I’m sorry I didn’t tell you; I just didn’t think it was important.”

“James.” Dom walked forward and fixed his hair – well, as close to ‘fixed’ as she could get it – while he breathed deeply. “James, she’s fine.”

“Yeah.” He muttered, now looking a bit embarrassed. “She’s fine. Sorry I freaked out.”

“It’s understandable.” Dom smiled at him and kissed his cheek. Then she took my wrist and started tugging me to the door. “Let’s go, Missy.”

I resisted her pull a little, looking back at James and biting my lip. Finally, the words tumbled out. “James…thanks.”

He looked at me, his eyes a mile deep, and let a small smile light his face. I couldn’t entirely hold back a small smile of my own as I looked down and followed Dom out.

I hate myself and my inability to stick by a decision. It’s just…this is hard. Really hard. I’m trying my best, okay? This is difficult.

Not to mention that small part of me that’s going ‘oh, screw it all, just let myself fall’. It’s holding me back, pulling me down as the other part pulls me slowly up that ledge.

What ledge, you may ask? Well, that figurative one that symbolizes me falling for James. You see, right now, I’m pulling myself over that ledge, struggling not to fall over. You’re probably rolling your eyes at my idiocy, going ‘wow, what an idiot, just let go!’, but…I’m scared of getting to the bottom. I don’t know what would be there. And I’m scared of knowing.

Wow, Apollo’s right. I am a coward.

I disgust myself.


“You’re late.”

I feel rather like an overprotective parent right now, sitting in the common room with Ella and Dom as we wait for Alex. And to make things worse, Dom is actually practicing her ‘clipped tone, annoyed parent’ voice.

Yes, that’s right. She’s repeating the words ‘You’re late’ over and over again, until she decides they sound menacing enough.

My best friend is a freak.

“Dom, I love you, but please shut up.” Ella said in a strained voice, checking her watch again. It was now four freaking bloody a.m., and our dear friend Alex had yet to arrive. And since we’re Gryffindors and so incredibly loyal (fuck you, Godric), we conducted the brilliantly conceived plan of ‘staying up and waiting for her’. Which, you know, started to lose its brilliantness a very longtime ago.

And, of course, little miss ‘tonsil tennis’ conveniently decides not to arrive.

I mean, I’m worried and all, but at FOUR A.M., there’s only so much worrying that a girl can do. At FOUR A.M., we start to get a little annoyed. So shoot us. We’re human, and we have a very limited patience quota, one that was used up about six hours ago, back at ten when we came up with this brilliant idea.

“Oh, she is so going to get it from me when she gets back!” I muttered angrily, slumping down lower in my armchair.

“You’re late.” Dom uttered in her clipped, angry tone.

“For Merlin’s sake, Dominique, the voice is bloody perfect! Give it up!” Ella cried, flopping back down onto the sofa and staring moodily into the dying fire. She blew a random strand of hair out of her face, looking incredibly annoyed.

“Where were you Alex?!” Dom continued, now standing up.

Okay, now she’s taking it a bit too fa – ALEX!

“OHMIGAWD, it’s about bloody time!” I threw my hands up in exasperation and propelled myself out of the armchair, standing beside Dom, who looked like the picture perfect version of ‘intimidating parental figure’, complete with a fluffy pink bathrobe and bunny slippers.

Ella also gave a cry of relief/anger, and dragged herself on Dom’s other side. We stood there, facing a sheepish and nervous-looking Alex, who was holding her shoes in an obvious attempt to sneak quietly upstairs.

“Hey, guys.” She said, smiling abashedly.

“Don’t you ‘hey guys’ us, young lady!” Dom cried. Wow, only two months pregnant and already all bossy and mother-like. I feel so bad for future baby Dom right now. “You will explain to us exactly where you were.”

“I was with –”

“ – Matt.” Me and Ella completed with her, our voices stony.

“Obviously.” Ella continued.

“Where else?!” I added, throwing up my hands again.

“We were just doing homework.” Alex shrugged, looking uncomfortable.

“Really.” Dom said in a skeptical voice. “And you took about…hmm, let’s see…nearly eight hours to do it because…?”

“Well, we weren’t doing homework the whole time.” Alex continued in her uncomfortable voice, tugging on a piece of hair. “We might have…you know…snogged a little in between…”

“A little?” I asked, eyebrow raised in my perfect, suave arc that took me all of two years to master. It was so worth it, though.

“Okay, a lot.” Alex said, grinning. Her grin immediately slid off her face when she noticed that the rest of us weren’t exactly sharing her sentiments.

Because, believe it or not, finding out that your best friend spent the greater part of eight hours snogging her repulsive boyfriend – who is annoying, mean, and very bully-like – is not exactly news that makes you want to jump in joy. Call me a prude, but to me that’s absolutely disgusting.

Though that might be because, in my biased opinion, Matt is a loser jerkface githead who needs to walk right out of Alex’s life. Like…now.

“Have I ever mentioned that I hate your boyfriend?” I asked in a bright voice.

“Oh, yes. Loads of times.” Alex responded happily. Her face then fell. “He’s my first boyfriend, guys…be nice.”

“I think it’s about time to end this with him.” Dom said gently. “Alex…you’re not the same when you’re with him. You’re supposed to the parental figure! We’re all a mess – I’m pregnant, Ella’s got the maturity level of a baby monkey, and Artemis has denial issues! You’re the only normal one here, and we need you.” Her blue eyes were wide and earnest.

“Yeah – HEY!” I said indignantly. “I do not have denial issues!”

“Oh, yeah? Hey, Artemis, do you like James?” Dom asked, raising her eyebrow at me.

“No.” I snapped.

“Denial!” Ella sang. We turned to look at her.

“What?” She said, shrugging. “I never said I didn’t have the maturity level of a baby monkey. Because, well, face it. I kind of do.”

I sighed and rubbed a hand into my forehead. Someone, please stab me in the face with a butter knife. Repeatedly.

Once again, I ask myself: WHY AM I FRIENDS WITH THESE PEOPLE?!

Because they’re all you’ve got.

Very true, brain. Very true. 

eh, eh? *waggles eyebrows* what'd you think? 
you know i love to know. write me a review, please!

alright, questions!
i love asking questions. and i love your responses. you know, it's almost scary how spot-on some of your predictions are. i get worried that you guys can read my mind or something. 
i wish i could read minds. 
ANYWAY. before questions, i just have to give a shout-out to civilized, who writes me ridiculously long and incredibly amazing reviews every single time! I LOVE YOU!

alright, question time:
what'd you think of the new banner? is the old one better? (yeah, not relevent, but i had to ask)
what do you think is going to happen next?
al's perfect girl's traits? what should she be like?
do you think alex and fred should ever get together?
where is apollo?? (well, i know, but i want to know your guesses!)
who's the cutest couple out of them all? (like, who has the best chemistry)??
what'd you think of the screen names? do you have any favorites? ones that would be more suitable than what i used?

i think those will sustain you, right?
alright...let's see...i had to say something else - oh, right! cheap advertising :P
i wrote a new one-shot called Dear Prongs. i put it up like a couple of days ago, and i'm really, really nervous about it, since it's the first sad one-shot that i wrote. it's maddy-approved, so i knew that i had to put it up, but i would love to hear your feedback on it! i'm still sort of iffy on it...

alright, that's about it! leave me a review, lovies!
dream_BIG is out!
PEACE, suckaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaas :D

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Déjà Vu: Computer-Fights, Bunny Slippers, and Dumbledore’s Sexy Portrait


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