Chapter 1 : Never All At Once
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It’s been a while, Harry.
It’s snowing – it’s absolutely freezing. This weather is horrid. All wet and disgusting and just --
I’m talking about the weather. I haven’t visited in ages and I’m talking about the weather. I’ve gotten old, haven’t I?
We’ve all grown up so much over the last few years. It feels – kind of – unbelievable…like tomorrow, I could just wake up and we’d still be in Hogwarts...
Why am I crying?
I said I wouldn’t – God – it’s so annoying – why can’t I –
I’m sorry. I feel ridiculous standing here crying.
Things have changed, Harry. Life has moved on.
Ron’s fine. He looks like his father now, if you can imagine that. He’s still as thick as ever, though. That’ll never change.
Rose and Hugo are all grown up. Rose got married last summer. To Lysander. What a horrible affair. A complete disaster. I’ll never know how Ron’s mum managed all of our weddings. And Hugo’s in Egypt, studying to be a curse breaker.
Rose doesn’t talk much to me anymore.
I’m too old for her. Too old and too boring. Nobody wants to listen to my old war stories or listen to me talk about Hogwarts. And she’s an adult now and she’s moved on.
But, I’m fine though. I am. Really. And that’s how I suppose things have to be.
It’s so quiet.
Why is it this quiet?
It’s strange to be here. It’s snowing and no one’s anywhere.
They’re probably with their families. I should be getting home soon, too. There’s dinner at the Burrow tonight just like always. But you know that. Of course you do.
I miss being children. I miss everything about it. It sounds ridiculous – it feels ridiculous – to even think so, but I do. Every day was an adventure, wasn’t it? You and me and Ron always arguing and planning and fighting. I want to go back to those days. But life isn’t like that. Things you want never come all at once.
I miss you.
That won’t change either. And Ron misses you. He tries not to show it, though, but that never works out well.
We’ve been through so much. We were always meant to stay together. We had happy lives, didn’t we? Maybe not the happiest. But I always had you and Ron. Why did things turn out the way they did?
You shouldn’t have gone first. It – it doesn’t feel right. Out of all of us, you were the most important. You weren’t supposed to go first. I don’t know who was – but it shouldn’t have been you. It shouldn’t have to be any of us.
But wherever you are, I hope you’re happy. Standing here next to you in the snow, it feels like it was just yesterday that I walked into your compartment.
I don’t know why I bothered to come here today.
Honestly, half the family must think I’m crazy, wandering off right before dinner. It – it doesn’t feel right not to be here.
It’s beautiful here.
There’s lots of snow everywhere, all over the trees and the ground. It’s even more beautiful in the spring. I wish you could see it.
I don’t know when I’ll see you again. It’s funny, isn’t it? A lifetime of reading and learning and I can’t even tell when I’ll see you again.
But, the next time we’ll meet, it’ll be in another train compartment. You’re already waiting, I know. I can almost see you – you’re sitting in solitude – and I’ve yet to step inside. You’re eleven – twelve? – and it’ll just be a little longer. I’m almost there.
We’ll be together soon enough. This journey’s coming to an end.
I – I really do have to go now. It’s getting late and it’s almost night time.
Happy Christmas, Harry.
A/N: Please don't forget to leave a review! :D
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