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Chapter 19 : Yesterday
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I laughed uncontrollably as he carried me into the hotel room. "Is this really necessary?"
"You may not get to have the real wedding you deserve but you're crazy if you think I’m skipping this!"
"You just want to prove you can lift me. So you can feel all masculine..."
He rolled his eyes, "First of all a dwarf could lift you. Second of all I don’t need to lift you to prove how manly I am."
“Oh really?” I posed raising my eyebrows.
“That’s it.” He dropped me on the bed, “I’ve had just about enough of you.”
“Oh you have? Have you?”
I ran the to the bathroom with him sprinting after me. Sirius caught me and grinned. “What do you have say now?”
“I love you.”
He cupped my face and kissed me intensely pinning me against the wall. Sirius released me with a smirk. “I love you too.”
I laid on his bare chest, white covers covering us both. Gingerly I moved over and grabbed his wrist to see his watch. A frown crawled onto my face when I saw the time. Sirius shifted his hand out of my grip and wrapped his arms around me tightly.
“Don’t worry honey.”
I sighed thoughtfully, “How can I not? I have to leave in an hour, go back to my dorm, pack my things and leave for my parent’s house…I won’t see you for almost two weeks.”
“What do you think I’ll change my mind or something?” He teased half-heartedly then his face dropped when he realized what I was thinking. Sirius boosted me up so he was eye level with me. “Don’t you dare ever think for a second that I regret this.”
“I’m scared okay…” I admitted ashamedly, “I love you and I don’t regret this but I’m afraid of what’s going to happen when they find out...” I forced myself to look at him, “They’re not going to just let me go Sirius…”
He brushed my bangs out of my face tenderly, “Whatever happens, no matter how long it takes I will always come for you.”
“….Okay.” I muttered in a small voice.
“Wanna go for round three now?” He teased slightly, “I mean we do have an hour.”
I raised my arm to smack him but he caught my arm, flipped me and eyed me hungrily. I snorted, “Yes?”
“Well?” He brushed the ridge of his lips along my jaw softly planted soft kisses on my neck.
I sighed and grabbed his face, “You are such an asshole.”
I woke with crumbs of slumber still in the crease of my eyes. For a moment, when my eyes were closed I forgot where I was. The smell around me was comfortingly familiar. A warm hand brushed my cheek and I smiled. It was then I knew. It wasn’t a dream. It happened. When I opened my eyes I found Sirius staring at me lovingly, his face nearly fully healed with minor scratches. His heavy bandages gone.
“Hey…What time is it?”
He shrugged, “It might be better if you asked what day it is.”
“What do you mean?”
“You’ve been asleep for three days. Look, we aren’t in the hospital anymore.”
I tilted my head and saw we were in a flat; A white large flat that I couldn’t ever afford even if I worked till I died. My clothes were different too. I wasn’t wearing a hospital gown or even my own clothes. I was wearing oversized pajamas with puppies all over them. Judging by the looseness of the clothes and the scent I assumed they were Sirius’s. Which means he dressed me. Which means he saw me naked. Which hasn’t happened in years ……and it happens when I’m UNCONCIOUS?! I suddenly felt incredibly self-conscious.
“Hey what’s wrong?”
“Ah…This is weird but…what’s happened? How did I get in these clothes and in your apartment? Parker just let you take me?!”
Sirius smiled. “Jules…breathe.”
“Sirius…speak.” I mocked him sitting up.
“Okay I got out yesterday. I’m fully healed and they gave you a strong sedative so you could heal faster. They said you would be fine and you didn’t have to stay there so I brought you here.”
“And that was okay with Parker?” I questioned in disbelief. “Where is he? Parker?”
“I dunno actually. He came by this morning and we had breakfast.”
My eyebrows shot up, “Parker had breakfast with …you?”
“Parker likes me.” He told me with a hint of hurt.
“I’m sorry.” I muttered rubbing my eyes, “I’m just surprised…He always seemed to not trust you.”
“Well things change,” Sirius replied vaguely.
I shrugged. “I won’t complain.”
“Good. Now are you hungry?”
“Ah yeah…First though…Do you have my clothes? Cause I feel like if I stand up these clothes would slide off me.”
He nodded and rose from the bed. Sirius snatched a shirt for himself and picked up a stack of my clothes, freshly cleaned. “Here.”
“Thanks.” I didn’t bother asking who had took the time to clean them.
“Do you want me to…” He started lamely and I nodded quickly and avoided his gaze.
I knew he had been the one to dress me and he had already seen me naked but I felt …exposed. I hadn’t felt sexy in years. I didn’t even think anything of it when I changed in front of guys at work but Sirius was different. He’d seen me before the scars, when my skin was smooth and flawless. I felt so small. I had built a great wall around myself. A solid system that had protected me from getting hurt and he broke a crack into it without even trying. I heard him fumbling around in the kitchen and I felt suffocated. I couldn’t handle this. I wasn’t that girl anymore. I’m not the woman he married anymore. As good as it felt to be with him I couldn’t just dive into it again. I shouldn’t be with him right now. I had a life, I had manufactured a life out of the wreckage and I had more to my life then what me and Sirius once had.
“Jules? Do you want Pancakes or eggs?!”
My jeans were on, shirt was on. I stopped moving and just sat on his bed. What did I want? I closed my eyes and focused. I didn’t know. So I didn’t answer him. I didn't know what to do. All I knew was I couldn't be here. I grabbed my jacket and apparated to Parkers flat.
He was eating a sandwich and reading the paper before I arrived when I came in he rushed to me. It was then I noticed how heavily I was breathing.
“What are you doing here?”
I shook my head, my eyes clenched tight. “I couldn’t…I just needed to…breathe.”
“Alright …” He got me a glass of water and sat back in his chair as I perched on the edge of his couch. “Thanks.”
I let out a breath of relief and held my arms to stop them from shaking. “I just got scared…I woke up and I was at Sirius’s flat. Nobody else was there and it freaked me out.”
“Why? Did he do something?”
“No…He was perfect…That was the problem….”
Parker furrowed his eyebrows. “Elaborate. How is that a problem?”
I put my head in my hands and sighed. “Can I just stay here?! Please? Until I can just…clear my head?”
“You know you can. I just don’t get you.”
“I know…I’m sorry.”
He groaned as he checked his watch. “Okay well stay as long as you like. I have to go to work.”
I nodded and laid back, clutching one of his pillows tighter than necessary.
He snorted and sat next to me. “Jules…I don’t know what’s wrong with you but if you don’t deal with it it’s going to drive you crazy.”
“Well…” He kissed my forehead and hugged me. “I’m glad you at least are healthy.”
Parker waved his hand at me dismissively and left. I appreciated this more than I could explain. My head was spinning with the chaos of my life and I couldn’t take it anymore. I thought if we got back together if we saw each other again everything would fall into place. The past wouldn’t matter and I would be able to get beyond what happened to me but life didn’t work like that. The minute I realized he had been the one to take care of me I froze. We didn’t even know each other anymore. Grabbing one of Parker’s blankets I sighed because there was something I was avoiding. The face popped into my head and I frowned. I loved Sirius with every fiber of my being but …there was some hesitation. I didn't know what it was but I just couldn't be near him right now.
I wished I stayed asleep. Sleeping isn’t complicated. No I wished I could go back to three months earlier before anything had happened. Back when I didn’t have to feel anything. Pulling the blanket higher up to my neck I wished more than anything I could talk to Renee. I could contact her, use my connections to see her but I doubted she’d want to see me. Biting my lip I sunk deeper into the couch and felt like there was a dark cloud above me. A large apparatition pop sounded loudly, I jumped, whipped out my wand and pointed it right at Lexi’s heart she raised her hands with a condescending look on her face.
I lowered my wand and gave her an odd look. “What are you doing here?”
“I’m here to help you. Now go clean up,” She pushed herself up onto Parkers kitchen counter and snatched an apple before taking a large bite into it. I watched the juice rolled down her cheek until she took the edge of her red plaid sleeve and swiped it off. Lexi furrowed her eyebrows at me. “What?”
“Where are you going to take me?”
Lexi sighed exaggeratedly crossing her jean padded legs. “You really don’t trust anyone do you?”
I crossed my arms over my chest. “Well it’s kind of hard when you won’t give me any information about yourself.”
“Okay if I get Dumbledore to say he trusts me will you come with me?”
“Yeah,” I answered automatically not believing she could get Dumbledore’s trust in just a brief conversation.
Lexi just shrugged and glanced around the flat. “Then go take a shower and change your clothes,“ She took another bite of the apple and made a face at me, “Cause you look like hell.”
“I don’t have any spare clothes.”
“Yes you do. Look in there.”
I gave her a doubtful look but sure enough when I went into Parker’s olive bathroom I found a dark pair of jeans and a bright blue flowy top that I never wore. She came in with a smirk. “How did you-?”
She grabbed the door handle with her left hand as she continued eating with the other. “You ask too many questions.”
I took a long shower. I washed the dirt and grime out of my hair, the sweat and medicine off my skin and the worries off my mind. It was an odd situation but I just kind of accepted it. Lexi was weird but I wanted to see what she was planning. I got out of the shower, changed into my clothes and leaned over the sink. I looked up and found my own face. I had scratches on my cheeks and two deep bruises; one was extended from my right temple down to my cheek bone the other was just a bit farther down along my jawline. The dark circles under my eyes were almost dug in, the type that could only be caused from years of sleepless nights. I remembered why I never looked in mirrors anymore. Glancing away I saw my makeup case. It had a layer of dusty covering it with a note on top. Printed on top of the paper very neatly was three words, “Put-it-on.”
I grabbed the makeup and slowly pulled out all of the tubes. First I had applied the cover up. I didn’t apply it anywhere but my bruises. It took a few painful minutes but finally I no longer looked like a boxing champ. Then I put some medicine on my cuts and put some makeup under my eyes. When I walked out of the bathroom my hair was dry and down, I wore eyeliner, eyeshadow and had managed to apply some blush. I don’t know why but the process made me feel more…human. Lexi was sitting on Parker’s couch. The Daily Prophet was opened and folded onto the coffee table but she wasn’t reading it. Her face was filled with several emotions but none of them were the nonchalant attitude I’d seen her hold so easily the past three times I’d seen her. Lexi’s pale eyes searched through Parker’s pictures with fascination. I wondered where this interest had come from. This wasn’t personal for her so why was she so involved?
She smiled at something she saw, closed the photo book and shoved it back on the shelf under the coffee table. I saw a flash of the year before she closed it. Mentally I turned the numbers around and furrowed my eyebrows. She was looking at 1976.
“Hey look who’s decided to look better than a corpse!” She smiled suggestively.
I rolled my eyes. “So where do you think you’ll find Dumbledore?”
“Where he always is.”
I gave her a blank look. Dumbledore always seemed like he could pop up anywhere and make it look like he’d been there all the time.
Lexi's eyes widened in annoyance, “Jesus! Never mind. You’ll see.” She shook her head and offered her arm to me.
I took it. “I hope you at least know what you’re doing.”
“Nah,” She shrugged with a sly smile, “I mostly make it up as I go along.”
Short I know but the next chapter is going to be really long. THANK YOU FOR READING! I really appreciated that you guy take the time to read this! PLEASE REVIEW!
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