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Badgers, Blushing and Gods of Lurve by LaylaBethJagger
Chapter 3 : Oh My Sweet Chicken Drumsticks
Rating: MatureChapter Reviews: 17

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3. Oh, my Sweet Chicken Drumsticks


I really hate that. You know? Loud energetic voices that everybody supposes put you in a good mood and make you feel comfortable but actually make you feel unconfident and poo-ey? You know the ones?

The way my new tutor used this voice in her first session with me, really did not bode well for the rest of our encounters.

“I’m Rose Weasley,” She said brightly, “Please. Sit down.” She indicated at the chair opposite her. She had already organised the table so that not one bit of the actual table could be seen beneath the new layer of books.

Goodie. Here we go.

“Professor Macmillan told me that you wanted help with your Charms.” She explained to me. Wanted here being the operative word. “I’m pretty good at Charms,” she continued, “and I need the extra credit for Community Service if I want to have a chance at the work experience I’m interested in.”

Community Service?!

I am so going to murder Professor Macmillan.

Rose Weasley was a Seventh year student, who was into that whole I’m going to excel at school and at life after school. I’m also shockingly pretty and nice to everybody I meet, not to mention my parents have become two of the three most well known people of this wizarding age phase.

She just gave off that sort of vibe.

“Katie Dalton.” I introduced myself, forcing a smile onto my face. I may be inwardly bitter, but I wasn’t a bitch.

Benefit of the doubt. Benefit of the Doubt. Benefit of the doubt.

Mantras are good. I shouldn’t be blaming Rose Weasley for this horribly unjust deed done to me by the Professor Macsmelly. She doesn’t need to be punished for being smarter than I am...

Come on Katie. Focus!

“What are your strong points and weak points?” Rose asked, getting to the point immediately.

“Yeah, you know,” I said with a slight shrug. It was obvious from her expression that she didn’t know, so I continued to explain. “I kind of have a problem with Charms?”

It seemed to be more a question than an answer to her question.

“Oh?” She said smiling warmly at me, “Which part?”

I shrugged. “Oh, you know...” I said again. “The Charms.”

She giggled slightly at that, and then flicked a strand of her fabulous red hair over her shoulder. It was so unfair. She got everything in life, you know. Famous parents, money, intelligence, good looks? I just got all the left over’s.

It really is quite depressing.

We have been studying for an hour and a half. Non-stop, talking about Charms and Professor Creevey and all the fabulous things I could do if I actually had the capability to focus on actually getting somewhere in my life. I’m so over this. As soon as this thing is over, I’m going right to Professor Macmillan and giving him a choice.

Stop the Tutoring or I transfer to Beauxbatons.

French Food has always been yummier than English food anyway. All we have is Pie. The French have frogs!

I must have grumbled or something, because Rose looked up, and halted in her ‘Accio’ explanation.

“Is something bothering you, Katie?” asked Rose, slowly. She laid her quill down neatly on the parchment and folded her hands together, ready to listen.

I choked. She didn’t notice because I was forcing it down, but I was choking on my own air. She must think I’m so rude! What happens to the people who are rude to famous people’s kids? Will I be dragged off to Azkaban for rudeness? I couldn’t handle that. Those freaky Dementors give me the willies.

Frilly Heck! I’m going to die in Azkaban just like Lucius Malfoy did!

I managed to smile forcedly at her, and struggled to make my face look like I wasn’t attempting to swallow a pine-cone.

“Sorry if I’m being rude...” I said hastily, blushing again. “I want us to be friends, and I am happy that I get a tutor. It’s just...” I sighed. “...I always wanted my future to be that. You know? My future. And the whole, ‘I need a tutor to get by,’ thing? Didn’t do my self esteem so great...”

Rose nodded knowingly, and she smiled. “It will be your future. Professor Macmillan, and I, we can’t live your life for you. We’re just helping you along the way. Just like your mother gave birth to you. That was helping. You wouldn’t be alive without all that pushing.”

Okay! Definitely a visual I didn’t need in this lifetime.

But I definitely doubt that wiser words were spoken.

Even by Dumbledore himself.

I was about to reply to her wise words, possibly with something stupid sounding and embarrassing, when Rose’s chair was pushed roughly, and her gut went right into the corner of the table.


I glared at Elodie Higgins—she proves that it is possible to be pretty initially and then lose it to a bad attitude later in life. She was in my year, and in Slytherin. I don’t think Rose would know her.

“Who was she?” Rose coughed, trying to breathe after her Table encounter.


“That’s Elodie Higgins.” I explained, smiling sympathetically at her. “She the bully of Sixth year.”

Rose still looked in pain, but she nodded knowingly. “I’ve heard about her. Never met her though.”

I sighed. “Rose Weasley, meet Elodie Higgins. She was already smoking in second year. Once I was lookout for her...”

Rose chuckled to herself. “You're bad to the bone.” She said smiling.

I nodded my head vigorously. “Oh yeah,” I agreed. “I'm a rebel.”

“You alright?” I asked with a slight smile.

She nodded, rubbing her stomach (which was almost as flat as a board – even through the puffy sweaters) and sighed. “I’ll live.” She said reasonably. “She does things like that often?”

“Almost daily.” I replied brightly. “I tried to keep a Tally once in third year, but she found out about it and she came after me. I spent the whole day hiding in the chest of Potions equipment in the Dungeons. I sat on top of something pointy though and I had the indent in my back for like, three days afterward.”

Tis True.

Rose laughed. “Great. It’s funny I’ve never heard of your before Katie,” She said smiling.

I shrugged, “You probably have. Something like: ‘I just saw a really silly looking Hufflepuff girl face-plant herself into my mash.’ Or possibly even: ‘I found some toiletries belonging to some weird Hufflepuff chick. Her name’s Katie Dalton? You know her?’”

I finished my self impersonation with a flourish. She giggled again. “You’re really funny Katie.” She said laughing.

Did that mean Funny as in amusing funny?

Or funny as in funny to look at funny?

I shrugged, “I tell it like it is.” I said simply. “Intense mortification usually follows me around.”

There was a bang of the Library doors and both of us looked up to see Emily and Eric arguing, at the top of their lungs, about whose place we’d all be staying at, at Christmas.

“And...” I said slowly. “Rose Weasley, may I introduce you to Intense Mortification...”

Rose smiled at me, a little sympathetically.

“I have to go,” I sighed, looking at Emily, who looked ready to kill Eric. “But thankyou.” I paused in my actions of walking away. “Seriously,” I said to her. “I may get pissy some days, but I do appreciate this whole tutoring gig.”

I hurried over to my best friends, grabbing them both by their collars and dragging them out of the library. “Do you have no respect for my dignity?” I demanded angrily, once we were out of the Library.

Emily scoffed, “Hunny,” She said slowly, patting my hair down at the back of my head. “There’s no such thing.”

I dropped myself into the bench and frowned at Emily. “Whose the blonde Eric’s talking to?” I questioned curiously, picking up my plastic knife and stabbing a finger sandwich, prepared by one of the House elves that Oscar knows, from the basket in front of me. I brought it back to my plate and then reached for another.

Eric was standing, about a metre away, down at the bank of the lake, chatting jovially to a pretty blonde girl. I was sitting on a small bench accompanied by the picnic basket, and Emily was leaning against the base of the tree munching on her own apple.

“You are so crushing on Eric!” said Emily who was obviously convinced of this matter.

I contemplated spitting out the yummy cheese and Lettuce I had just put in my mouth, which suddenly didn’t taste so great after all. I swallowed, with minimal Gag reflexes and rolled my eyes.

“Emily,” I said seriously. “I do not like Eric. He is... Eric. I am simply serious as to who she is. It would be totally cool if he got a girlfriend.” I explained.

Emily sighed and rolled her eyes. “I know...” She said smirking, “Just like seeing you so irritated in the morning. Makes my day.”

I stared at her. “Gee,” I said slowly. “Thanks, Peaches...”

Emily rolled her eyes. “Her name’s Penelope Ryan. Eric says they call her Penny. Also says she cute, bouncy and really nice. She’s also really smart because she’s in Ravenclaw.”

This seconds my, “Good-looking-and-smart” theory. It is very unfair.

I highlighted this to Emily and she rolled her eyes. “You’re plenty pretty Katie.” She said, “For the millionth time.”

I waved her compliment aside. “You’re just saying that.” I said.

She rolled her eyes and scoffed, but said no more.

That moment was the time when Penny sat down next to me. She didn’t pay much attention to me as she seated herself. She was spending mucha time smiling and blushing and flirting with Eric.

I quickly prepped myself. I had to say something sophisticated, and make a good impression. Eric seemed to really fancy this girl and if he wanted her then she better like us because we’re his besties.

I repeated my mantra in my head.

Smart, Sexy, Sophisticated.


Something along the lines of calm and collected conversation about the weather, or the current political situation. That would interest her. Her father’s the Minister of International Grass Growing... or something else impressive.


Must get across to her that I am a perfect person in all respects, but she did not need to feel threatened by my friendship with Eric.


What about: “It’s very nice to meet you Penny, we’ve heard so much about you?”

And will not. Under any circumstances. Mention the fact that Eric and I were once an item.

“Hi...” Penny said smiling turning her head of golden curls to face me. I hate the way she’s just another glamorous Hogwartian.

Eric smiled at her brightly, and then encouragingly at me.

Mustn’t mention the way we used to date. Mustn’t mention how we used to date.

“Do you like my Ex-Boyfriend?” I asked her brightly.

There was a stunned silence. All the blood temporarily left my brain and swelled to my cheeks. I tried not to let it get awkward and continued to smile my Grinch smile at her.

Penny looked a bit (alright, a lot) confused but she looked hastily between me, Eric and Emily. “I guess...” She said unsurely. Then she nodded, convincing herself. “Yeah. I do.”

I smiled brightly at her. “That’s good.”

Then her eyes narrowed slightly. “But you and him?”

Eric looked ready to murder me.

I shrugged. “Yeah. But that’s long over. We broke up.”

Penny frowned. “Why?” She asked curiously. “Anything bad I should know about?”

Eric would kill me if I made up some story about him being horrible in the hay. So I avoided my possible assassination.

He already looked angry/murderous enough.

I sighed, and shook my head. “Nothing important...” I said with a sigh.

She raised a beautiful almost non-existent eyebrow.

“Just remember...” I continued. Eric’s glare darkened. “Keep your Barbie Dolls out of reach at all times.”

There was more silence.

Penny frowned, “Excuse me?” She asked confused. “Barbie Dolls?”

“Oh.” I said brightly. “We were eleven.”

I had my first little encounter with Sabriel Malfoy that afternoon. I was rushing through the castle, anxious to watch Eric’s Quidditch practiser to make up for my annoyingly embarrassing speech at Lunch. Luckily enough, Penny seemed to still like Eric, and me.

Despite what Emily calls, ‘Scaring-Off’ tactics.

They had sent me to my dorm after my embarrassing show, and I had taken the time to unpack my things and put them into the wardrobe.

I had a couple (Alright thousands) of used shopping bags that had accumulated over the years and I had filled a majority of them with junk. I had a couple of empty bags, but they were all destined for the same place.

The Rubbish dump outside the Kitchen.

Anyway, as I was hustling through the empty corridors, I spun around the corner and went right into Sabriel Malfoy and her bunch of Clones.

“Watch it, Dalton.” She sneered at me.

From my new position on the ground at her feet, I stared up at her. “You know my name?” I demanded with a frown.

She and her Clones sniggered at me, and Sabriel let out a flick of her long blonde hair.

“You’re Katie Dalton.” She muttered lazily. “Supreme slacker and a clumsy fool. You fall over your feet every morning and you don’t realize that everybody at this school is laughing at you, and no one needs you here.”

Her comment hit me with as much cruelty as was probably intended.

I frowned. “That’s not true...” I’m not a slacker.

I didn’t say that last part out loud.

She then sighed another annoyingly lazy sigh, “You’re not unique at all, and you’re completely boring. And only idiots fail at Charms.”

How the Heck, did she know that?

Defence for my brain, and its other important parts sprung up and without even thinking I barked out, “You’re Sabriel Malfoy, James Potter Devotee and completely untalented at anything that isn’t sneering.”

I then found myself hanging upside down from one of my ankles.

That was potentially problematic.

I frowned, mentally thanking Merlin that I had chosen to not wear that white skirt I had bought in the summer. “Real Mature, Malfoy,” I muttered.

I began to spin around, really fast.

God work Dalton, Good work.

“Whooooaaaaaaahhhhhhhhh....” I called out watching everything get blurrier and blurrier. “Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!”

And then I had stopped and was on the ground. Everything continued to spin, including the ceiling. It looked pretty cool, watching the corridor’s chandelier suddenly have three thousand more copies.

I rested my cheek against the cold Marble floor.


Things were still spinning but I slowly began to regain control of my eyes. I could hear what was going on now.

“Scorpius...” Sabriel was whining. “...She and her buddies embarrassed me yesterday in History of Magic...”

Put a sock in it, you stupid cow, I moaned inwardly.

There was loud bark of laughter, and then a scuffle and then I heard Sabriel shouting at me.

Maybe I didn’t say that in my head...

Meh. Her fault for mentally unscrewing my head.

“Calm down, Sab.”

It’s Scorpius Malfoy!

“You don’t have license to curse her Malfoy, just because she probably said something silly.”

Oh My Sweet Chicken Drumsticks— ALBUS FRACKING POTTER????

That I didn’t say out loud. Seriously, this time.

But if Scorpius Malfoy was a gift from the gods, than Albus Potter was the God. With his beautiful Green eyes and his messy black hair that any girl in this school would gladly run her fingers through.

The room rocked and I focused myself.

I was still in dire danger of a scalping, you see. Courtesy of Sabriel Malfoy.

“She said that I was obsessed with James Potter.” Sabriel whined.

There was a second silence and then— “Sab. You are obsessed with James Potter.”

I held back my own snort. Sabriel Malfoy was a little less than mysterious.

“Fine.” She said stubbornly. “Play the hero... Again”

What better heroes than Scorpius Malfoy and Albus Potter?


I heard the hoard of stiletto wearers walk away, and expected to hear the boys sneakers or dragon skin boots to follow, but instead their footsteps got closer to me.

I felt a hand placed under my head and it was suddenly lifted from the soothing cold marble.

Put me back, Dammit!

“You alright?” The silkily sexy voice of the god otherwise known as Albus Potter asked me.

My eyes were still clenched closed. I wasn’t opening them to see three thousand of Albus Potter’s faces.

I snapped my eyes open.

Ah... Pretty Potter.

Then I moaned.

“Al...” Gift from Gods said to God. “I think she’s pretty sick. We should take her to the hospital wing.”

I opened my mouth to protest this. You haven’t seen intense hate until you’ve seen the glares I get from Madame Bellows, the Matron.

But before any words could come out, I felt that familiar feeling.

I pushed the two Gods away and lunged forward, grabbing one of the discarded old shopping bags that I had been on my way to get rid of.

And them I promptly—and hopefully sexily—hurled in said bag.

What can I say? Dizziness has never mixed well with my stomach.

I felt two hands go around my hair and hold them out of the way, while I continued to spill my breakfast.

“Sabriel got her good.” I heard Potter tell his friend.

Malfoy made some noise of affirmation. “I’ll kill her.”

That is all I ask.

When I was finally finished giving the send off to my recent breakfast and lunch, I lifted my head away from the bag, and wiped the edges of my mouth with my wrist.

“Sorry...” I choked out, making sure I didn’t spew any more. Potter let go of my hair and smiled at me.

If it weren’t for my dizzy and nauseous state, I would have swooned.

“Don’t worry.” Potter told me in that sexy voice of his. “It’s not your fault.”

Malfoy nodded. “I’ll kill Sabriel for you...” He suggested again.

I smiled grimly at him.


I spun around, cutting my ‘Thank you’ short and grabbed the bag again.

Once I was sure I had finished again, I lifted my head. “—nk you?”

They both laughed.


Granted, they were laughing at me but it was a start.

“Let’s get you to the Hospital wing.”

This is how I found myself leaning, arm draped over Albus Potter, as I stumbled down to the Hospital wing. Malfoy had gentlemanly taken all the bags I had been carrying when I had run into his sister.

We got to the Hospital wing with minor problems. The largest of said problems being, running into Rose Weasley who screamed after taking one look at me.

Didn’t boost my confidence in how great I looked, but once she had regained control of herself se assured me she had screamed only because I looked half dead, and she had thought that Potter and Malfoy had killed me and were taking me away to bury my corpse.

My confidence still remained shattered.

But it was worse when we actually got there, though. Rose had deserted her friends, and was coming with us now, to make sure that I was okay. Scorpius had vanished to dispose of my things and I was still leaning on Potter.

The three of us ambled into the Hospital Wing and interrupted Madame Bellows from curing a boy with acne that was slowly making his face grow.

Seemed he had had a run in with Sabriel earlier on.

“Don’t tell Scorpius.” Potter told Rose and I. “He’ll have a brain aneurism.”

Hear, Hear.

“Katie Dalton!” I flinched at Madame Bellows’s angry tone. “Third day of the school year and you’re already back here?”

I shrugged grimly at her. She rolled her eyes and then looked at Potter. “Bring her over here. I’ve learned to always have a bed spare for Miss Dalton, seeing as she’s an almost permanent patient of this Hospital.”

I blushed, which must have clashed brilliantly with the green tinge everybody had told me I had taken.

I stopped thinking at all, though, when Albus helped my lie down on the bed.


Though, granted, my dreams didn’t involve me very nearly puking on him.

I revelled in the feeling of the soft hospital bed. “Might as well tell me what happened.” Bellows ordered at Rose.

Rose looked surprised, “I wasn’t there. I didn’t see.” She defended herself. “I came to make sure she received help, after running into them on the Third Floor.”

Everyone turned to Potter.

He sighed. “Didn’t see much. Me and Scor were on our way back from the Quidditch Pitch, when we heard this loud scream.” —Must have been me— “Walked round the corner to see Sabriel Malfoy had her upside down by the ankle spinning around. We got her down but she managed to spill her guts twice before she let us take her down here.”

I became aware of The Bellows angry stare. “Miss Dalton,” She said sternly, “How many times have I told you that you must not let personal feelings for this place stop you from coming? You could become seriously injured one day, and from your track record, that day is soon coming.”

Oh she’s good at these inspirational speeches.

I nodded, and said, “Yes Madame Bellows, I understand.”

“Don’t take that tone with me, young lady.” She scolded, “You’re to lie down and have some rest. And next time this happens, you will come to me immediately.”

She took one look at the bag in my hand and frowned. She lifted her wand and in pulled itself from my hand. It landed in the bin, which made an odd swallowing noise and was then silent.

“Having a good day, Bernie?” I asked quietly.

The Bin sighed. “It’s alright Katie. Got to eat three broken quills this morning.” I smirked at the bin, which had been my friend since my first visit here in First Year.

“Good for you.”

Bernie smiled. The Bellows scoffed, lifting Bernie and taking him over to her previous Patient’s bedside. I smiled contentedly, and closed my eyes, letting my head sink into the pillow.

“Erm... Katie?”

Whoops. Forgot they were still here.

I opened one eyes and looked at Potter and Rose. “Yeaoup?” I said popping the ‘p.’

“Were you just talking to a wastepaper bin?” Rose asked curiously.

“You haven’t met Bernie?” I demanded, opening both my eyes and staring at them. “Bernie the Bin?”

They both shook their heads, obviously amused. I was too nauseous to care about the weird looks. I sighed, “Let me tell you the Tale of Bernie the Bin.”

I know this chapter is shorter than the others, but I hope you still liked it. First contact with some real characters today! Rose Weasley and Albus Potter!

I Know Scorpius was mentioned in previous chapter but there was no dialogue courtesy of him.
Hope you enjoyed, and please Review.


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