Chapter 3 : Really Bad Congrats Speeches
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Really Bad Congrats Speeches
I threw the bouquet with my amazing aim straight into Dom’s startled hands, already knowing that Lysander planned on proposing tonight. I winked at him as he stared at me, and he grinned.
I blushed slightly, not able to completely control it, as Scorpius removed my garter with his teeth, causing all males under 25 and Teddy to howl with laughter and erupt in wolf-whistles.
He flung it into Lysander’s face after I told him to in a not-that-subtle whisper, and Lysander grinned at us again.
He extended his hand to me and I grabbed it so he could lead me to the ‘table of honour’, which included us, his groomsmen and my bridesmaids.
Luckily the reception was in a magical environment.
When everyone was seated, Al stood up nervously, and tapped his knife to his glass, elegantly shattering it. I rolled my eyes and smirked at him when he glanced at me, not hiding his terror, and he cleared his throat, waving his wand to repair the glass.
“Ehem…” He began, fingering his tie, “Well, Scorpius chose me to be his best man, and Dom told me that I was doing the congratulatory speech, not her, because she’s lazy, and, well, I got nothing,” He continued, pulling out countless balls of crumpled up parchment that all had his messy handwriting scrawled over them, and crossed out, “So I guess I’m winging it. I do have a request, my dear cousin Rosie, if I screw this up, please don’t castrate me,” A lot of people chuckled at this, “Ha ha, you think I’m joking?”
I cleared my throat and looked pointedly at him, causing him to continue.
“Okay… So, um, shit this is hard… Ehem… So the great Scorpius Malfoy and the amazing Rose Weasley married. Well, I can’t say I’m not surprised, Scor told me that he was going to marry her when we were fourteen, which resulted in a broken nose for him and a detention for me. That same year, Rosie told me that she thought he was a gay, annoying, pig-headed, pratty, arrogant, bastard that took advantage of girls, even then. Doesn’t she have a way with words?” Al paused, and took another sip of water.
My cousin is a wreck.
“We all knew they were the perfect couple, an identical replay of my grandparents, the famous Lily Evans and the infamous Marauder, James Potter I. I do admit that at first, it was a game for Scor, but he grew to love my cousin, and I supported him almost every step of the way.” Al dodged a potato thrown by my new husband and I laughed with the rest of the room as he continued casually, “If I tried, I could list a million things about my cousin that Scorpius loves, but I won’t, partially because I don’t want to bore you, and partially because I usually tried to tune him out when he went on his Rose Rants.” He ducked again, easily dodging the second potato that came his way, “But, I do want to say this, congratulations guys, you came a long way, and I wish you well in the future. NO KIDS.”
Al finished, took a bow to the clapping hands, and happily ignored my indignant glare.
“Well that was… interesting,” Scorpius murmured, sling a hand around my waist and kissing my cheek.
“It’ll definitely be remembered as one of the most unique speeches,” I murmured back, grabbing his face and kissing him full on the lips.
He chuckled and pulled back, smirking at my pouty expression, pulling me closer to him as Dom stood up, smirking at an exasperated Al.
“Ehem… If you guys are quite done,” She said, looking pointedly at us.
“We’re married!” I exclaimed, throwing a third potato at my Maid of Honour.
“Yes. And I, unlike my very unorganized cousin Al,” Al protested here, “Have a speech.”
She waved an index card around, smiling at the laughter.
I peered at the vaguely familiar card, and narrowed my eyes, waiting for her to continue.
“Congrats Class of 2024. We finally made it. I can’t believe that in about an hour, we’ll all be released into the world as adults. What was Professor McGonagall thinking?! But, contrary to all of our beliefs, this is not the end of our story, but rather the next chapter in the novel of our lives –how clichéd does that sound? We came here as young eleven year olds, with, as the Hogwarts song says, scabby knees and empty heads, and we are leaving as young adults, not too many scabby knees, and heads newly filled with knowledge that we can’t wait to try out in the real world.
“I, as a student, learned many things at this school, and am very sad to be leaving it, because Hogwarts became my second home, a place where many tears were shed, and lots of blood was poured, usually not mine.
“I will miss this school terribly, but I can’t wait to go out and live on my own, start my own story, make my own history and legends. I know that I will come back, dragging my many cousins along with me, because I don’t think the teachers of Hogwarts, or Hogwarts itself will be able to stand without any Weasleys, or Potters, running around and causing chaotic destruction. And it will be a while before another generation of us come to dominate the world.
“I love this school, and I love this world, but I can’t wait to leave, to let the sixth years fill our seats next year and freak out over NEWTs, let another group of firsties come into the school, their worlds opened up to possibilities unimagined.
“So I will say it again: Congrats Class of 2024. We finally finished, we’re through with the tests and homework, but our lives are not over. They’re just starting.”
I pressed my lips together, trying not to look amused.
Dom had just read my graduation speech.
Word. For. Word.
My family is just lovely.
She nodded, curtsied, and sat back down, smirking again at Al’s bemused look.
“Unlike my niece and nephew, I do have a speech, pertaining to my daughter’s wedding,” My dad stood up once the laughter died down.
I groaned quietly, and Scorpius smirked, kissing my temple. Once the furious clicks of the cameras died down, my dad cleared his throat.
“When my daughter first started dating Scorpius, I will admit, I wasn’t too fond of the idea,” He began, causing me to snort rudely, and Scorpius to shudder, “But eventually, I found out that he was a very respectable young man who clearly loved my Rosie. He respected her, and made her laugh, and kept her happy. Our father of the girlfriend/boyfriend relationship grew to an uncomfortable civil level, very much strained when he was with Rosie, and they would do something that was a lovey- couple thing, like kiss, snuggle, look lovingly into each other’s eyes, bicker fondly, e.t.c.” I rolled my eyes. Civil was really stretching it. I glanced at Scorpius, and saw he clearly agreed with the thoughts in my head.
“Then he went asked me for my daughter’s hand in marriage. Our relationship was even more strained as I took an extraordinarily long time to answer. But I realized that they were destined to get married, have been ever since Scorpius caught my daughter in his arms when she fell as she was getting off the train and she slapped him and accused him of ‘sexual assault’ back in their first year. Their relationship had always been strained, rather much like that of James and Lily Potter I. But anyone can see that these two young adults love each other, and even though he’s a Malfoy, no offense Draco, I offer my sincerest congratulations, and best wishes.”
I felt the tears run down my face, and Scorpius smiled, hugging me, quickly wiping the tears off of my cheeks as my dad sat down, his face bright red. The entire hall clapped, and I laughed, my tears abruptly ending, as I sat up straighter and winked at my father.
6.6.11: Well, here's chapter three of four, edited and fixed and stuff. It was very boring, wasn't it?
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