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Typical Hogwarts Bird by hpfan45
Chapter 8 : Blair's Witch Project
Rating: MatureChapter Reviews: 6

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Chloe and James are fake relationship goes real.
Gina and Remus are on the Rocks
Sirius and Liz are steady
Max and Lily are fine....from what we hear
Chloe isn’t talking to Jeff/Gabby
Chloe and Remus’ friendship goes to far= awkwardness.
Chloe becomes new friends with Blair and starts revenge plan unknown to James on Gina.

On a side author's note: Un beta'ed because queue is super fast (:
Chapter image by tina.loves at tda (:

Chapter Eight: Blair's Witch Project

I unpack my trunk, unceremoniously throwing the clothes Sirius packed neatly (from our bet) onto my bed.

I look around the Gryffindor Girls Sixth Year Dormitory, the room bathed in the warm afternoon light. A wave a peace washes over me as I give up unpacking and flop onto my bed, piled high with clothes and books.

Wincing I remove my Arithmancy book lodged painfully between my shoulders, thinking about my tiring, but glamorous, break with James at his house. It seems like forever ago we were baking cookies and playing in the snow. Getting drunk every night. Falling asleep in each other’s rooms.

I sigh, it was such a wonderful break, probably the best one I will ever have. I have to thank James for that. James Potter. James Potter my boyfriend.

I kind of savor the words and my heart swells with pride. My boyfriend is the school’s most popular guy, funniest, one of the smartest and he chose me.

I look over through my halfway pulled back curtains to see Evans, already done unpacking and pretending to be reading a worn book. I know she’s pretending because her eyes have been on the same page for over a minute. I feel like Evans should be in my place instead. She should be dating James, and not that scumbag Mark. I feel like I just cheated her out of the love of her life. Maybe my meddling to get Remus had this butterfly effect. Maybe I stopped little Lily and James juniors from ever having a chance.

No. This is my (twisted) fairytale. James is the perfect boyfriend for me. Ever since New Years James and I couldn't be more in synch. Now all the couple things we did before are real. It’s weird because I can’t tell anybody I have him as my boyfriend for real this time.

Now we’re not hiding anything. We can have real fights and real make-ups and real side glances-without anyone watching.

This is going to take some getting used too.

A slam signals the door of our dormitory as it opens. I glance over at who entered before falling back sprawled on my bed, eyes clothes.

“Hey cuz! Want to get some dinner?” I hear the weight of Liz on my small cluttered bed.

I flip over so my head is buried in the pillow. I haven’t talked to Liz property since the whole Sirius drunk grinding incidence.

“Come on now Chlo, you’ve been avoiding me since James’ party, What’s up?”

I hear the hurt in her voice. I remember how we used to be best friends years ago and how we have become closer recently. I sit up crossed legged and briefly nod towards Evans.

Liz scowls at Lily and says “Hey Evans, can you leave?”

Lily doesn’t stand for anything like this and I would except a witty remark or tell-off but she just shrugs and gets up and leaves. Shocking, since when does Evans care for privacy?

Liz distracts me by starting up the conversation again “So what’s been up?”

I sigh, responding honestly “I felt bad for kind of...dancing on top of Sirius on New Years in front of everybody.”

She smiles and responds “Is that all?” I give her a shocked look.

“I was on top of your boyfriend!”

“Listen I know you feel guilty Chlo, but you don’t understand Sirius like I do. He’s a flirt. It’s part of his personality and I can’t change it. You guys were both wasted on top of it and he apologized. It’s not like I’m letting him walk all over me, it’s just who he is.”

“Liz, no matter how much you care about a guy it doesn’t give him permission to walk all over you.”

She looks into my eyes and says, “Can you trust me about Sirius? Second times the charm?”

In my gut I have this feeling that she and Sirius aren’t going to last and thats why I find myself saying “Yes”. I am really horrible.

“Alright good” she says excitedly slapping her hands to her tight jeans and getting up, “So still on for dinner?”

“Ehh-I have plans with James” I lie quickly.

“Good because I only made them with you so we can clear things” she responds half-joking.

As soon as she leaves the room, I begrudgingly start to get semi-dressed for meeting Blair.

Yes I have actually agreed to follow through with our plans to take down Gina, I mean how couldn't I? Tonight we’ll be planning out our first move of action. I am pretty darn excited. But this adds to list of the things I will be keeping a secret. I really need to stop myself from getting into these situations.

I notice my hair starting to frizz up, and sneak over to Ellen’s beauty draw and grab her bottle of Da-Frizz Bomb and put some in my hair looking at my hair instantly de-frizz (or da-frizz?) When I hear a voice scathingly say “Why aren’t we getting a bit vain?”

I turn around to find Gabby leaning on the doorframe of the dormitory glaring first at my hair, the bottle, then me.

I glare at her reflection in the mirror turning back, am I becoming a Typical Hogwarts Bird?

Of course not. Anyways she shouldn't be talking, she lives for hair products.

“You shouldn't be talking, you live for these hair products” I say loftily.

She walks into the room dressed in her usual bum attire of an old Irish T-shirt with ‘Patty’s Pub’ written across the front and baggy torn jeans.

I hate her for siding with stupid Jeff and I hate her for not giving me the chance to explain about the Remus situation but I miss her so much. It kills me to see her there and not being able to talk to her. Maybe we should time out, talk it out. Or I can pretend nothing happened and see if she goes along with it. Ease into it gently with a safe conversation topic.

“You going down to the Quidditch match next weekend?” I ask busying myself with eyeliner so I look nonchalant.

“Yeah, Dan is playing obviously” Oh so she’s still seeing that Dan Heart fellow. What house is he in again? Wait its the house James is playing next weekend which is...Ravenclaw! No...Hufflepuff!

“So you’re cheering for him?” I ask kind of put off that she isn’t going to cheer for her own house.

“Well some of us don’t have the luxury of having a boyfriend in our house so situations of this sort do not happen where one chooses between house pride and love” She responds back with venom.

I’m about to smile at her antics when I remember her siding with Jeff about being pathetic. I cannot let her think its okay to say stuff like that to me and I’ll just forgive her.

“Well...bye” I say quickly leaving the dorm.

Walking down to the kitchens to meet Blair I think about how unsafe the dormitory is. I am now friendless, surrounded by a bunch of crazy girls. I shutter at the thought.

No, Gabby will come around, but in the mean time, I have to bring Gina down.

Turning the corner, I bump into Emily, Jeff’s girlfriend.

“Oops! Oh gosh sorry Chloe! You okay?” she asks in a worried tone. Too nice for her own good, like always, but she makes me smile. Seeing her is almost as good as seeing Jeff. Almost.

“Hey Emily, no I’m fine don’t worry. Where are you headed?” I ask politely. We haven’t talked since before break and I am taking a neutral conversation topic ( yet again) just in case her and Jeff broke up.

“Oh just to see...Jeff” she says in an apprehensive tone as if she isn’t sure she can tell me.

“Oh okay...” well tell him ‘fuck you’ from his biffer Chloe.

“Yeah we’ve been doing really well” she starts excitedly. Her baby blue eyes going wide. Oh no, looks like she’s going to start ranting about Jeff being an amazing boyfriend. Way to soon for me to be hearing this.

“That’s great but I got to go!” I say partly because I don’t want to hear her ramblings of Jeff and partly because I seriously need to go or I’m going to be late meeting Blair.

I turn on my heel, just walking away quickly enough not to seem rude. I hear Emily call back "Wait!" I sign, debating whenever to pretend I haven't heard her or turn around. I slow my pace, turning back while she jogs towards me.

“Listen I know it’s none of my business and not my place but Jeff misses you as a friend. He’s just too stubborn, and its not like him and Gabby hangout together much anymore. Chloe you were the glue that held you all together! Just know that.”

I feel touched by her words. I can’t believe Jeff misses me. I can’t believe Jeff and Gabby are falling apart. I can’t believe its my fault. I look down towards the stone floors.

“Look Emily-”

“It’s fine, you don’t have to say it, and don’t worry this conversation never happened” She says smiling.

“No listen Emily!” I say urgently and she waits, “I wish it was that simple to forgive them, but I can’t until they learn to stop accusing me of...stuff and learn to sit and listen and ask for my side of the story. I don’t want to forgive them with the chance this will all happen again!”

There! I finally explained the reason why I won’t talk to my best friends. Too bad it’s not to either of them.

Emily mulls this over thoughtfully for a moment or so, “I agree with you completely Chloe, but sometimes you have to do the explaining first. What they’re thinking is probably worst then what is actually going on. And they say some things because they’re worried about you. You’ve been with James a lot recently and hanging around with a different... crowd they’re just worried that you might be changing for the worst.”

I understand where Emily is coming from. Heck she might even be right, and they do have a good reason to be worried for me. Look at the mess I am head deep in!

“Just think about this, I know you’ll do the right thing” Emily says and with that she turns and starts to walk away.

Well you’re wrong about that one Emily. I prove over and over again that I do the wrong thing. I glance at my watch before yelling “OH SHIT!” and sprinting down to the entrance hall. I’m already five minutes late for meeting Blair.

Skidding to the left I reach the painting of the pear and quickly enter the kitchen in a frenzy. Sitting there calm as day is Blair sipping some iced tea.

“Boyfriend troubles?” she asks lazily, fixing the pin in her already perfect hair. The strands slide like water across her shoulder as she moves it.

“Everything but,” I respond taking a glass for myself and sitting down next to her.

“So who held you up?” she asks, her blue eyes clearly interested.

“Mnm my cousin Liz, Gabby my ex-best friend, then my other ex-best friends’ girlfriend, Emily Quinn.”

“Aren’t we popular. Don’t worry about being late, you had to come down seven flights. I had to walk up one” she laughs.

I smile a bit and she continues, “don’t be so cold love, we’re on the same side now! Honest I’m not as dirty, mean, and heartless as the other Slytherins!”

I laugh at that one and reply, “sorry, it’s just that things have been stressing me out”

“All the better that we do this then! Watching Gina slowly die, metaphorically of course, should be all the more fun! So I’m curious...I know why I’m doing this to Gina, you know to finally get her off my back, but why are you in on this?”

Oh shit. I can’t tell her that I’m in on this just to get Remus, “same reason, of course. Such a bother!” I laugh a little nervously. Blair, like Gina are made from the same mold. Too socially smart for their own good.

“Funny cause I heard that she started hating you when you started hanging around Remus...”

“Don’t be daft, its when I started going out with James. She was obviously threatened by my influence,” I say uncharacteristically vain, “Now listen, I have some dirt on Gina that you can help me find something to do with” I say slyly, switching the topic of Remus and I quickly.

Blair eyes narrow excitedly and she says “Oh do tell!”

I hesitate telling her the one secret I have against Gina, but I need to trust her if I can ever take Gina down. Smirking I respond, “Gina is cheating on Remus with Max Rogers.”

She gasps, her pink lips in a perfect surprise O, “Lily Evans’ boyfriend? No way! This is too good to be true!”

“What do you think we should do with this info?” I press.

She drinks her tea thoughtfully finally saying, “Well this is a delicate situation we have. We cannot just say these things out loud. Firstly nobody will believe us, Secondly it points out that you knew this information for a while. This makes you look like a big offense” she adds in a slight pause, “The best thing to do is make Remus catch them in the act!”

Over the next two weeks Blair and I become close friends. Every Transfiguration you see us whispering (earning much glares from McGonagall). Most people are disturbed by our Gryffindor/ Slytherin friendship while others are fine with it seeing as we both hate Gina.

Speaking of Gina, she surprisingly (not really) hasn’t taken our new friendship say the least.

Of course she can’t do anything. Not now anyways. Remus has been acting distant towards her since the New Years Party and she ( as well as everyone at Hogwarts) feels the relationship is coming to an end and is busy putting all her efforts into keeping Remus. Thankfully this distracts her (temporarily) from plotting to kill me and Blair.

Blair and I on the other hand have been trying to catch Gina and Max in the act. Believe it or not she’s still hooking up with him. Though things are proving easier said then done.

James supports my friendship with Blair, seeing as he really had no problem with her besides being a Slytherin. Sirius finds it good fun to talk to Blair, who is likable and tries to use her to get the ‘Hidden Slytherin Secrets’. His words not mine.

James and I as a couple (well real couple) have been going great. We do couple-like things like study together and hold hands and he walks me to my next classes. We tell each other stupid secrets and I come to his Quidditch practices and I hangout with all his friends....well almost.

I have been avoiding Remus since New Years....or maybe he’s been avoiding me? whichever way, we haven’t seen much of each other since the almost-was-that-really-the-alcohol-speaking-kiss. Partly the absence of him has made my relationship with James better. Though I miss him.

I miss him lots. It hurts a bit in my chest when there’s a quiet moment and I think about him or us. Sometimes when I’m really alone I think of the charade my life has become. On the outside I seem like a happy girl with a great boyfriend, but what did I give up to get there?

Well my friendships with Gabby and Jeff. We’re still not talking. I was honestly going to explain things to them after the conversation with Emily, but well...that was the day I started hanging out with, for lack of better words, Typical Hogwarts Birds.

First being Blair, who is undeniably a THB, but isn’t a big bimbo like most. To Gabby it probably looked like I was replacing her with Blair. Which I kind of was.

Second was James’ friend Abby Cook. She’s a year older than us in Gryffindor and is really funny. Like extremely funny. One of those people who aren’t afraid to embarrass themselves in public. I needed some humor in my life after Jeff stopped talking to me. Or I stopped talking to him, whichever.

The next girl just kind of latched onto me, maybe because I was James’ girlfriend and was suddenly popular or maybe just felt like it.

Please welcome, wonderful Nicole Noh of Slytherin. She’s sort of Asian (maybe Korean?) with dark brown hair in silky waves, which she tells me are both fake.

My new best friends are THBs. Josh is talking to me in public. Remus is still going out with Gina fucking Domella.

A boyfriend certainly changes one’s life.

I loiter in the Entrance Hall, the chill clear January sky waiting for me outside on this brisk Saturday.

I’m not the only one waiting around. About another 20 students are just walking in and out or talking in groups of three and four. The weather lately have been warm from the freezing temperatures, and it brings a lift to the general student body.

I find myself leaning against the marble staircase looking idly towards the Dungeons where Nicole, my favorite Asian, is suppose to ascend.

I start to think about the first plan of action to get Gina caught in the act of cheating. Its taken a whole two weeks to put it into action. Its been so long because we weren’t even sure where Blair* did the dirty. Then we had to basically had to stalk Gina (something we both were disgusted with) as well as Max Rogers. Today we’ll try and get Remus to catch them in the act, then Gina will be broken. Problem is she doesn't use the same place twice. Especially now that she knows I know.

Well that’s only Part A. Part B is... well we won’t worry about it until later.

Thankfully Nicole and Abby don’t know about our super secret plan. Mostly cause it’ll seem like we’re freaks and mostly because we don’t want this to get around. Nicole and Abby are like friends. We just hang with them because they’re a good time. My best friends are still Jeff and Gabby. They just don’t know it.

A hard shove to my shoulder interrupts my thoughts and I push my hair backwards to see no one other than Gabby standing there all blond and pissed looking.

“Sorry, didn’t mean to bump into you royal bitch.” she says cruelly.

I sigh. Its been like this for two weeks, “Listen Gabby don’t be like this” I say grabbing her arm.

She swallows and looks back up at me, “give me a reason to let you explain.”

“How about a minute? Because I’m your best friend?” I plead. I see her eyes focused behind me.

I turn around to see Nicole jogging towards me dressed in careful jeans and a cardigan set. “James doesn’t deserve you, and neither do I.” she says turning on her heel and walking away.

I watch her go and I feel Nicole breath behind me as she says “Quidditch Pitch time?”

“Qudditch Pitch time,” I respond back, sadly looking at Gabby’s retreating back “I will defiantly beat you this time!”

We’re going down to the Pitch in season of good weather. I like Nicole because she’s practical, just like her clothes, as well as fun.

She also knows so much gossip.

We start walking out of the school into the crisp air and down the slopping lawns to the Quidditch Pitch.

“So Mike invited me down for some Ravenclaw party this weekend. You should defiantly come, I mentioned it to Abby already.”

“Sounds fun,” this is what happens every weekend lately. There’s some party and I would go. James says I should have some girl time. I mostly think he wants some more Marauder time instead, “Where and when?”

“I think in some unknown side room next to their towers. Guess who his new girlfriend is?” she says excitedly, using her gossip voice.

“Who?” I grin back, her excitement rubbing off.

“Ellen! Ellen Flynn”

“That biddie?” I say aghast.

“Yep, always thought she should be a Slytherin...probably because she’s so stupid.”

I give her a look and she laughs “Not that all Gryfindors are stupid!” I smile. That’s why I love hanging out with Abby, Nicole, and Blair. We can just poke fun at each others houses and joke around.

I remember when Jeff made jokes.

“I don’t know if I want to go to a party with Ellen, I mean she’s nice but her best friend is Gina, do you think it would be alright for Blair and I to go?”

She rolls her eyes, “please, Gina doesn’t have control over Mike’s invite list...”

“But Ellen does,” I murmur as the Pitch comes into view.

We’re not the only ones who decided to take advantage of the lack of better word, warm, weather. The Pitch is filled with people lazily flying, other racers, or just throwing around a Quaffle. The bleachers have students drinking hot drinks in thermos’s talking and laughing, while others huddle together for some warmth just watching the players. The whole stadium has a feel of a picturesque image of Hogwarts, houses living in peace and students spending their free time with good clean fun, not drama filled illegal parties.

What a beautiful lie.

“Wanna get the brooms?” Nicole asks, stretching her body lazily from some flying.

I shrug and walk towards the room cupboard. We’re both not really flyers but agreed that there’s a small chance we’ll run into any THBs here. Well at least in the air.

I grab two of the rickety school brooms when I run into Max Rogers.

Of course. Things like this tend to happen in a small private school with limited activities. I wonder if there’s a public Wizard School, or maybe there could just be one in the city where you can just run home afterwards. Like if you wanted to avoid someone you could.

Nope not at Hogwarts. Well its not like I was avoiding Rogers specially but I certainty wasn’t making lunch dates or Quidditch catch up.

“Ah Chloe! What are you er-doing here?” he asks nervously as he picks up a broom himself.

I look around to find that its only us at the shed, laughter from the Pitch filters through “You know, just taking advantage of the warmer weather. You?” scumbag.

“Er, actually just teaching Lily some flying tricks”

“Oh, hey Chloe! What are you doing here?” Remus awkwardly says looking like he regrets walking into the broom shed.

Why this is ironic, with a hint of awkward. Let me introduce you Remus to Max Rogers, the guy who your girlfriend is cheating on you with.

“Just plan on flying around with Nicole, uh Remus this is Max, you know Lily’s boyfriend” Oh how I hate being the third person who introduces people.

Max grimaces at Remus. Serves him right for cheating on Lily. Though she is annoying how would you escape that by cheating with Gina? He better have a third girl for that.

Ah, that won’t solve much actually.

“Yeah I’m just with Gina and the Marauders” God bless them.

Wait a minute. This is the perfect moment I wanted. What me and Blair talked about. Step one of Gina destroying plan is to get her hottie boyfriend to start having an inkling about her and Max. Hint whenever whatever you can to get some rumors started. Its actually quite easy.....

“Why that sounds like a fun group!” I fake laugh loudly, “Mind if Nicole and I join you? Oh Max you must come!”

“Yeah that sounds like fun! Max you coming?” I knew Remus can’t say no to having me play with them and I know Max can’t say no to a Marauder invite.

I have been hanging out with Blair too much for my own good.

Max looks like he just swallowed one of Slughorn's potions but laughs along “Yeah sure, Lily would love that”

Lily would also love the Giant Squid if given the chance.

We all grab the appropriate number of brooms and agree to meet by the goal post in two minutes.

I jog back towards Nicole, “hey I just saw Lupin and Rogers back there and Lupin invited us for some easy Quidditch hangout sort of thing, you in?” That’s close enough to the truth.

I see her squint over to where Max is standing with Lily then to the Marauders with Gina, “Uh I thought today was to de-stress from the drama that is everything you just got invited to”

“It’ll be fun!” I say rolling my eyes like its the most obvious way I would like to de-stress.

We walk towards the right handed goal posts. Everyone is still talking on a fluffy blanket and James runs over in his fading Quidditch T-shirt and kisses me.

“Hey babe! Thought you were having bonding time” he says looking over at Nicole whose currently taking an extra thermos filled with god knows what from Sirius.

“Yeah well looks like Marauder bonding isn’t going well” I say back quickly glancing at Gina.

“Well you know how Gina is,” he says heaving a sigh. “Hey can I ask you something?”

I look up at him curiously, “James, we’re friends first and a couple second. Of course”

“Well tell me, you’re done with Gina?” I force a smile

“What does it matter?” I laugh, I admit more than nervously.
He brushes the hair out of my eyes, his hands on my waist, “I just want to know that you’re done with Remus...and Gina. There’s no point to our silly plan now right? I mean we have each other. I choose you and you choose me. Chloe. We’re going out and if this is going to really work I need to know you’re committed to me.”

I look up, the green in his eyes showing brighter in the sunlight. I feel horrible. Here I am still in love with Remus, lying to James. I could stop it all now though.

“Course, don’t worry I’m over Remus and I’m with you. That’s all that matters right?” I say putting my arms around his waist pushing my face into his chest.

He kisses the top of my head, “Right...”

“Whose up for some QUIDDITCH!?” roars Sirius from a couple feet away.

“Whose up for some SANDWICHES!?” Peter yells getting up next to him. I laugh and James leads us back to the blanket with his arm around me.

So lets make this afternoon awkward.

“So Chloe where are your dear friends Jeff and Gabby lately?” Gina asks slyly cocking her head to the side.

“I’m guessing their around” I reply back loftily. Lily takes advantage of Gina’s newest distraction and gets and walks towards Sirius.

This is why I hate Evans. That bitch cuts me like an avocado.

I clear my throat, Gina continues “So I guess we’re alone”

“That, unfortunately, seems to be happening more than I’d like”

“Have you thought over my...proposal?

“Sorry darling, but I have to say no, I’m in love with someone else”

“Forgot you had a sense of humor, tell me when to start using it again”

“Proposal to what? James and I as a fake couple blackmail nonsense? Funny because we’re not”


“Not anymore” she raises her eyebrows high “anything better to lay out on the table Gigi?”

“I always have a stack of cards underneath the table while playing poker”

“Sounds like cheating”

“In a game where everyone cheats, its not too bad”

“Domella, break up with Remus”

“Are you still hung up on him? Does James know that?" she pauses, I stare back at her, unblinking. "That’s what I thought. There’s nothing you can do” Apparently, she’s dense as well as a bitch.

“I can’t do much, but I’m not alone.”

“I like the guests you brought, Max really?”

“I’m sure he and Remus have a lot in common, just like you and Lily”

“You’re dirtier than I thought Pierpont, but remember, there is nothing that can bring me down.”

“I digress”

“You have some pretty bitches now”

“Still with your one person crew of Ellen?”

“Its much more than her and you know that, so you get some socially acceptable friends, congratulations. You still don’t have the power I do”

“I keep hearing all this power-yet- nothing seems to be happening to me”

“I own these walls, these corridors, these dorms. you’ll be hearing some things alright. good luck having sweet dreams tonight”

Before I can respond a “FUCK!” interrupts us. We snap our heads over to where Max stands over a bleeding Remus.

Fuck is right.

Hopefully this was a quick update! Reviewing a drag, so just review: 'Biddies' if you like what you read, even though is mostly a filler chapter.

Thoughts on Chloe's new friends? Abby, Nicole, and more importantly Blair?

Anyone can guess where Gabby’s ‘Pattys Pub’ shirt is from in the dormitory scene? Hint: its one of my favorite tv shows :)

becca xx

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