Chapter 8 : Like a sharp knife to the heart
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Dominique had never felt so ghastly in her entire life.
Christmas was fast approaching, and yet the festive season did nothing for her miserable mood. Ever since the incident on the Quidditch pitch, where Dominique had scampered away during practice, her and Roxanne had barely spoken more than two sentences to each other. It was driving Dominique insane. Perhaps not the most wildly of social people, Dominique still could not function on her own. Loneliness only fed her emotions further in an unbreakable, harsh cycle.
Or perhaps the gnarling, horribly dull ache that was throbbing in her chest as she sat in the busy Common Room, alone, wasn’t to do with Roxanne. Maybe it was thanks to the letter she’d just received from her lovely older sister. Dominique looked down at her sister’s cursive script once more and something dropped, hard and heavy, in her stomach.
It happened, oh it’s finally happened! Teddy proposed!! He did so last night and this morning the first thing I could think of doing was to tell you immediately. Mama is positively over the moon and I don’t think Papa could be any more proud to invite dearest Teddy officially into the Weasley clan!
The ring is simply to die for, Mini, he said because neither his mother nor his grandmother had ever been in the circumstances to receive such a grand ring, he wanted to be the first to change that pattern. Oh and grad it most certainly is! I cannot bring myself to ever tear my eyes away from it, prepare yourself for a lot of future gushing! We are so young, Min, but it feel so right!
Mama and I have already started on the wedding plans. There is so much to do, and such little time! We are thinking a Spring ceremony would be idyllic. Mama suggested Nanna Molly’s similar to her and Dad’s wedding, what do you think? Personally, the Burrow is a bit small… and a little… shabby, don’t you think? But Teddy seems to appreciate that idea, so maybe we will just have to compromise.
I am keeping my eye out for a wedding dress; I’ve had one envisioned since I was three, so it may take a while to find the ideal gown. And speaking of gowns, I will have o get you measured… yes, that’s right! I have chosen you as my bridesmaid, goodness knows I don’t have any close girl friends, I’m not sure why… but any way, I’d love to have you have there next to me on my special day.
I’m putting down some orders for wedding catalogs and dresses. I will write a size fourteen, is that correct? You are roughly two sizes bigger than me, yes?
Any way, darling, let me know! And yes I give you permission to finally spread the marvelous news to all the Weasley clan at Hogwarts! Send them my love.
The future Mrs. Teddy Lupin xoxo
Dominique continued to stare blankly in contemplation down at the letter in her hands. She didn’t scrunch it up, like she had done with practically all Victoire’s letters. It was a while before she even noticed her hands were shaking. Dominique found herself in a strange whirlwind of mixed emotions; she was honestly happy for her sister. Yet it was undeniable to admit the bewildered, hurt, confusion and outrage that was drumming deep within her stomach. Surprisingly, she found herself not injured by the fact that Teddy, her long-life crush, had proposed to her perfect older sister. She had imagined it’d hurt, like a sharp knife to the heart, but she just felt numb.
If anything, the anger and frustration bubbling in the put of her stomach was purely derived by Victoire’s self centeredness and the outrageous claim that Dominique was two sizes bigger than her. She didn’t know why, but that was the sharp knife to the heart. Blinking back furious tears, Dominique pushed a quill and parchment towards her, feverishing beginning to scribble in her usual untidy scrawl.
Size twelve, Victoire you fricking snobby, ugly bitch. I am a size twelve! You know that, you’ve always known that, we share the same bloody clothes. Just because you’re thinner than me –
Dominique paused. Looking up she saw her face in the relfection of the window opposite her. All she could really see was the darkening night sky, the gentle drops of snow, and the very tips of the Forbidden Forest but she managed to look herself directly in the eyes, startled.
Dominique thought of her baggy jeans, and the way her turtleneck jumper hung more loosely off her frame. She certainly felt light, smaller. But not in a good way, the more time went on, the smaller she felt; insignificant and unimportant. She just wanted to be invisible. The thought that she may have lost weight, may even be a size or two smaller, even thinner than the great Victoire herself, didn’t rrise any feelings of satisfaction. Instead she just felt sick,
Dominique jumped, crumpling her unfinished reply up in her fist automatically, her eyes wide as they swirled round to meet the inquisitive, worried brown ones of Roxanne.
There she was; her cousin, her best mate, her sister. She could feel that Roxanne was hesitant, and any one probably wouldn’t have gotten the guts to speak to Dominique, but not any one was as Gryffindor-esque as the tall, gangly, brunette girl was. For the first time in a while, Dominique truly appreciated Roxanne; and couldn’t deny how much she’d mourned her company the past few days.
“Oh, hey Rox. You startled me.”
Silence hung in the air awkwardly. A group of loud, reckless fourth years bundled by, nearly knocking Roxanne off her feet. She took the seat next to Dominique, who nervously tucked a lock of hair behind her ear. She gave Dominique a mildly odd look, “What’s that letter?”
Dominique shrugged, “it’s from Victoire.” Suddenly something, Dominique wasn’t quite sure what it was, cleared the air between the two. Roxanne even smiled. It was a kind, apologetic smile, and Dominique couldn’t help but accept it immediately. The two of them rarely ever found themselves in a fight, and if they did, it was destined to never last long. It was a Weasley thing.
Dominique picked up the letter, realizing she’d nearly forgotten about the important news it held. She willed her hands not to shake. “You’ll never believe it.”
Roxanne’s eyes widened in suspense, “what? What?”
Dominique smiled lopsidedly at her friend, some of the pain loosing in her chest and in her stomach from the presence of Roxanne. She loved how everything was always forgiven. Nothing was ever really a problem.
Roxanne’s mouth dropped open, her eyes evidently widening, her ‘what’s altered dramatically, fumbling off into nothingness, “wha – wha – “
For the first time in months, a real genuine burble of laughter floated from Dominique’s lips.
“What the hell!” Roxanne finally cried out, positively stunned.
Dominique smiled, again, she was relieved by Roxanne’s reaction, rather than the gushing she expected from all her other cousins. “They are so young!”
“Don’t I know it,” sighed Dominique.
“What the hell!” Roxanne shouted again just for the sake of it. The group of fourth years looked over, disgruntled. “Can I read it?”
Before Dominique could stop her, Roxanne had reached out and snatched the parchment; her eager, cynical brown eyes reading with a certain newfound fervor. She snorted loudly as she read, “trust Victoire to already be thinking about her dress.” Then her dark eyes flicked up to view Dominique’s face, “bridesmaid? Wow, lucky you. What an honor.”
Then reading on she gave a bout of scornful laughter, “ha! Goodness knows I don’t have any girl friends… I’m not sure why. That’s some funny stuff. She knows exactly why she’s never been able to keep a close friend. She’s just such an annoying fake cow.”
Dominique just nodded, taking back the letter. It seemed Roxanne hadn’t picked up the slip about her dress size. Was Dominique just making a big deal out of nothing? “Guys seem to like her.”
Roxanne pulled a face, “that’s because all guys are bloody gits.”
Dominique arched an eyebrow expertly, “and here I was thinking you were a Scamander fan?”
Roxanne waved a dismissive hand through the air, “ah, but Lysander’s different. Every one knows that.” Before Dominique could respond, Roxanne stifled a yawn, “well I’m off to bed.”
“Yeah,” Dominique said slowly, her mind still attempting to catch up with her emotions, “I’ll come too.”
It was dark and stuffy, it was probably roughly three in the morning, but Dominique, after a restless doze, was suddenly wide awake. Her head sprung up with such vigorous speed she had to grab onto the curtains to regain her balance. Her feet were caught in a heavy clump of blankets at the end of her bed. She sat up, resting her head in her hands, her mind racing like never before. It was a slightly calming sensation, to stare in the dark and see nothing.
She could feel her hands shaking, but she couldn’t see them stretched out before her.
Dominique didn’t need to see her thoughts; they were pounding hard and fiercely in her mind.
She didn’t like Teddy. She may have been infatuated by his cool demeanor and the way his eyes, constantly a different colour, twinkled when he smiled. But Teddy was Victoire’s fiancé, the love of her life. Dominique couldn’t like Teddy.
The painful, searing twisted knot in the base of stomach loosened slightly. A hot, bubble of anger rose as she thought of her sister. She was sick of being constantly compared to Victoire. Her older sister who was the smart one, the pretty one, the skinny one. What was left for Dominique to be?
She paused, realisation hit and with an astonishing jolt, Lysander’s words came crashing down on her. “A lot.”
Dominique lay down quickly, even though she knew Roxanne couldn’t see through the dark. She heard her best friend attempt to open her bed hangings. She could almost picture Roxanne staring blindly through the darkness at Dominique’s bed in sleepy confusion. , “Didja say sumfing Min?”
“No, no it’s all good Rox, go back to sleep.”
“Oaks…” And she was gone again, her deep snores filling the dormitory once again.
Dominique chuckled to herself dryly before settling back into her pillows and drawing her sheet up to her chin. She had managed to find an answer herself, to her own problems. For years Dominique had let Victoire own everything. Claim titles and prizes and awards to an extent that left Dominique feeling like she could never live up to the things her older sister did.
But that wasn’t Victoire’s fault, like Dominique had previously always thought. Because she did indeed leave behind plenty of things she never achieved or excelled at. For one, she was never on the Quidditch team, instead have always held an extreme fear of heights.
Dominique realised she didn’t have to be everything Victoire wasn’t, just because she was. Infact if there was anything she should be, it was herself. She should be Dominique Isabelle Weasley.
Maybe what Lysander had said, made a little sense after all.
*A/N: hello any readers out there!! i would really LOVE to hear your thoughts on this story, this chapter, Dominique, whatever :) whether it's good, brilliant, bad, terrible, horrible, make me laugh, make me cry... :)