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Chapter 4 : The Smallest Things that Tear Us Down
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The Smallest Things that Tear Us Down
A few days after the final full moon of the cycle, Remus was feeling back to his usual self. He sat on his favorite couch in the common room, one arm around Alice, the other propping open a book. James, Sirius and Peter were off doing something that Remus' Prefectly nature would have forced him to stop, so logically, they left him behind.
Alice shifted underneath Remus' arm and let out a heavy sigh. Her eyes cut up towards her boyfriend and a frown crossed her face as she found his eyes still on the page. She shifted again and wrapped her arms around the boy's waist, then laid her head on his shoulder with another sigh. The boy's arm tightened around her and she beamed with success, only to frown again when she realized he was simply turning the page. Another loud and dramatic sigh from Alice made Remus' lips pull into a tight smile that he was clearly fighting.
“Remus Lupin,” Alice squealed as she sat up and stared back at the boy. “You're ignoring me on purpose.”
Remus marked his page and flicked a strand of hair out of his eyes. “I keep telling you that if you want something, just say it. Don't sit there and sigh at me.” He laid his book in his lap and put his hands on the girl's knees. “What's wrong?” he asked with a fake pout.
“Don't make fun of me,” Alice whined as she pushed the boy's hands away.
“I'm not,” he replied with a laugh. Remus reached out and took the girl around the waist, pulling her closer. “What do you want?” he asked, putting his chin on the girl's shoulder.
“Attention.” Alice grabbed the book from Remus' lap before he realized what was happening. She stood up and raced over to the base of the staircase leading to the boy's dormitories. “If you want it back, you have to come get it,” she teased, waving the book at him.
Remus locked his eyes onto Alice's and crouched down slightly, waiting to see if she was serious. When her bottom foot lifted and touched the step, he jumped over the back of the couch and charged at Alice with a grin. The girl shrieked in laughter and bolted up the steps. Remus' caught up with her just as she stepped inside of his bedroom; his arms catching her waist and spinning her around in the air. She squirmed and giggled in the boy's hold until he put her back on her feet.
“Close the door,” Alice said as she walked over to the boy's bed and put his book down on his nightstand. She gave him a come-hither smile and dropped onto his bed, then patted the spot next to her. When the boy did exactly as she demanded, she put her arms around his neck and leaned forward. “I'm ready,” she whispered against Remus' lips.
“Ready for what?” Remus asked, his eyebrows raised in confusion.
“For you, silly,” she answered. “I wanna have sex. With you,” she added as an afterthought.
Remus' eyes widened and he scooted out of Alice's arms. “Are...are you sure? That's a big step and we've only be-”
The sound of a door crashing open caused Remus to nearly jump out of his skin. He stared over at the doorway to see a very disheveled Sirius Black. “I figured you were up here,” the boy said before sticking his head out of the door and looking back down towards the common room. “He's up here! I told you!” he yelled down.
“Tell him to get down here!” James' voice yelled back up.
“Alright! But he's with...her.” Sirius turned his attention back to the young couple and gave a sarcastic smile to Alice. “So sorry to interrupt, well, actually, I'm not, but I need Remus.”
Remus pursed his lips at Sirius' attitude and pulled his hands back through his hair. “I'll be right back,” he muttered to Alice before crossing the room and shoving Sirius back out of the doorway. “What do you need?” he asked, his arms crossing over his chest.
“I need you. Let's go. We're sneaking out to Hogsmeade, cloak leaves in one minute and you, Mister Lupin, need to be under it.” Sirius poked his friend in the chest and grinned. “Step to, let's go!”
“Come on, Moony!” James yelled from the base of the stairs.
Remus put his hand up in James' direction and kept focused on Sirius. “I don't wanna go. I'm kinda busy.”
“You're kinda busy? You know what, just...just whatever!” Sirius scowled and turned his face away in distaste. “Just go back to your stupid girlfriend then, we don't want you along anyways.”
Remus reached back and pulled the bedroom door closed so that Alice could no longer hear them talk. “Sirius, leave her out of this, you don't ha-”
“No! I won't leave her out of this. Why is she even in there?” he growled as he pointed towards the door.
“That's not your business.”
A horrified look fell over Sirius' face and he shook his head. “Oh, please tell me that you two aren't...that you're not gonna...you can't! You can't honestly wanna,” he bobbed his head back and forth and made a suggestive hand gesture, “with that bunny.”
Down the stairs, James could be heard telling Peter, “I think they're fighting, we should go without them.”
“We are not fighting!” Remus yelled back down at the boys before addressing Sirius' concerns. “What I do with my girlfriend isn't your concern. Just get off it.” He reached for the doorknob, but his hand was batted away.
“No.” Sirius stepped between Remus and the door and pushed his friend back away from it. “Ditch her and come with us. You know you want to; you haven't been on the last two outings. Just come along, you can hang with her any other time.”
“I'll pass,” Remus said coldly as he tried to push Sirius away from the door.
“You'll pass?” Sirius closed his eyes and gritted his teeth together. He rubbed his fingers over his eyelids and took a deep breath before continuing. “You're gonna pass on going out with us...for her!” he shouted the last bit and flung his hands wildly towards the door.
“Don't be so dramatic,” Remus sighed with a roll of his light blue eyes.
“I'm not being dramatic. You're bein- We are not fighting!” Sirius shouted down the stairs, making James and Peter scamper off and stop watching the show. He turned back to Remus and narrowed his eyes. “You're being a real jerk. You wanna skip hanging out so that you can shag?”
Remus dropped his head to the floor and groaned. “I never said that was what we were doing. You jumped to your own conclusions, Sirius.” He pushed the boy away from the door and stepped towards it once more.
Sirius' hands closed around Remus' upper arm and he stared up him with wounded eyes. “I'll buy you chocolate,” he said with a grin. When Remus scoffed, Sirius pushed harder. “I'll...I'll buy you the best chocolate. The top of the line stuff with the caramel and the pretty red wrapper on it.”
“Sirius, not this time.”
The boy's hands dropped from Remus' arm and he stomped angrily down the steps. “You better get back to your stupid bunny!” he shouted before he hit the bottom step.
“You better get back to your jerk convention!” Remus shouted back, knowing very well that it was possibly the worst insult that he had ever conceived in his life. He growled at himself and flung the door open to the bedroom, then slammed it back closed behind him.
“Are you okay?” Alice asked, jumping at the slamming door and scooting back on the bed a little. Her eyes were a mixture of worry and surprise.
“I'm fine,” Remus lied as he crossed the room in two strides and shed his robes to the floor. He leaned over Alice and pressed his lips roughly against hers, then pushed her back on the bed.
His hands found the hem of Alice's jumper and swept it up over her head in a flash. He pushed back down into another kiss as his fingers raced through the buttons on the girl's blouse and pushed it back from her shoulders.
“Remus, wait,” Alice breathed out, pushing the boy to sit up on his knees and pulling her shirt closed.
“I thought this was what you wanted.” Remus was exasperated as he slapped his hands down onto his thighs and stared up at his curtains.
“It is!” Alice argued. “It is, I do want it, I just want you to slow down. Take your time.” She put her hands on the boy's chest and let her fingers brush over the buttons on his shirt.
Remus' hand caught hers and pulled them down. “Not the shirt,” he whispered with a pained face. He ignored Alice's confused expression and put his arms around her, pushing her back down to lay flat on the bed. He pressed his lips to hers and moved over her, his hands once again pushing open her shirt.
“I love you,” Alice whispered as she laid her hands on the boy's hips.
“I can't do this,” Remus said suddenly. He scrambled to get off of his girlfriend and took a seat at the end of the bed, his head hung in his hands. “I can't do it; I'm not ready.”
“You've done it before,” Alice whispered as she arranged herself and sat beside him.
“It...it was different, okay?” Remus sighed and shook his head, then got to his feet. He paced in front of the bed a moment before sitting back down and looking into Alice's eyes. “I'm sorry, I just can't,” he told her with a broken smile.
“That's okay.” Alice put her hands on Remus' face and smiled at him with adoration. “Maybe we can just kiss a little, then?” she offered with a smirk.
“Yeah, okay,” Remus laughed. He wrapped his arms around the girl and laid down sideways on the bed, pulling her to lay over him as they kissed. He held her tightly as they spent the next hour in a passionate snog. It was getting later and they grew tired of the kissing, eventually resigning themselves to discussing the book Remus had been reading earlier that evening.
Alice's eyes grew heavy and kept fluttering closed as they spoke. Remus reached over and gave the girl a gentle shake. “Alice, baby, you're falling asleep.”
“Yeah, so?” Alice muttered sleepily, rolling over and pressing her face in tot eh pillow. “The pillow smells like you,” she said with a small laugh.
“Of course it does, it's my pillow.” Remus sat up and shook Alice once more. “Get up, you gotta go back to your own room before you fall asleep.”
“I don't have to,” Alice muttered. “They won't even miss me.” She rolled over onto her back and gave Remus a sleepy smile. “I wanna stay here.”
“I've figured that out.” Remus put his hands on his face and rubbed at his eyes. “You can't sleep in my bed,” he finally answered. “I can't sleep with you here. You need to go back to your own room.”
“You're kicking me out?” Alice snapped as her eyes were suddenly wide awake and filled with the early signs of tears.
“Don't get upset,” Remus pleaded, grabbing onto the girl's shoulders. “Please, please don't get so upset. I'm not trying to hurt you here.”
“No, you're just trying to get rid of me!” Alice cried out as she tore from Remus' grip and bolted out of the door.
Remus collapsed on his pillow and let out a muffled scream into the fabric.
A Note From the Author: Love it? Hate it? Any thoughts whatsoever? I would love to hear what you think about Sirius' reaction and how Remus reacted in turn. Thank you for reading! :D --Jenna
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