Chapter 4 : 4
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I sighed and stretched, and for some reason couldn’t take my eyes off the patch of carpet where the drunken snoring slob once laid. I tiptoed around the indentation and padded over to my very own private bathroom. The shower felt great, and I eagerly washed away the fire whiskey stench. The water stream echoed loudly throughout the hollow tiled room. Usually, I would have sung some Strange Brothers song at the top of my lungs if I knew it would stir the evil brothers, but I just stared blankly at the white tiles. Did I ever mention how depressing it was to shower in a room with 6 showers all by yourself with no one to hear your sighs but you? Well, it’s pretty darn depressing.
I dressed, did the usual morning routine, that’s not that interesting to talk about so I won’t. Breakfast was breakfast; I don’t want to talk about that either. Sarah looked extremely satisfied when she saw me nibble on some pancakes. I gave her a sarcastic thumbs up which she took for sincere. I must get better at this communication thing someday. Levi was shockingly missing. I say this sarcastically. My own head only heard it so it didn’t mistake it for sincere. That’s another reason why I don’t talk with people. My head gets it 100% of the time, while the percentage for humans averages around 30-40%. I wonder why I’m not in Ravenclaw. I can do some serious calculations in my head.
Levi cornered me after Potions. I squeaked in shock when he grabbed my wrist and pulled me into a secluded alcove. I quickly stepped out into the light to avoid the dingy closeness. He gave me a confused glance before sidestepping out into the light himself.
“I’m sorry Lily” He stated sincerely. He dropped his head and looked down at his shoes.
“Uhh...” I didn’t know what to say. Well that’s a shocker Lily, a real shocker.
“Look, I was at a welcome back party and this guy dared me to figure out where you were hiding- I mean living, you are definitely not hiding”
I didn’t believe him for a second, apparently I’m not only Lonely Lily, but Hermit Lily as well.
“You don’t have to defend me, I understand why everyone says things” I whispered quietly, joining his gaze at his brown leather shoes. Feeling like a little rebel against the quiet people society, I continued.
“I didn’t choose to live up at the top of the tower alone, I didn’t choose to be so quiet or to not be able to hold a conversation, I’m just wired that way” I’m crying, oh gosh, I’m crying. I can feel the salty beads slip down my face. I watched them fall like slow motion onto Levi’s gorgeous brown leather shoes. He didn’t look up, not once. I watched his eyes close as if he were swallowing some emotions that were just itching to come out.
“I don’t know you that well, so I shouldn’t have barged into your life like this.” He raised his head and made that instinctual wince that guys have when they see girls cry. Like he was hoping to God it wasn’t his fault, but he lost the expression quickly and replaced it with a solid stare.
“But I do know that you are so convinced that you are just “wired that way” you are never going to give anyone a chance and are just dooming yourself.”
He stepped backwards and I raised my head in pain. Did he think I hadn’t heard that bullshit before? Seriously, you know that frustration when you go to the doctor feeling really ill and they tell you it’s all in your head or you’re making it up? I feel like that right now. It may be in my head, but I am definitely not making it up.
“I’ve given people chances Levi.” He stopped walking and turned back around. “I have David, someone who doesn’t listen to all the mindless chatter about the ant-social Potter girl”
He laughed and shook his head like I was a child.
“You call pining after a foreign ass hole that has a serious girlfriend having someone”?”
How dare he? The nerve he had to say something like that. I thought everyone knew I was emotionally unstable. David does not have a serious relationship. She wants to get engaged, not him.
“Oh shut up you thoughtless bastard, you are absolutely right about not knowing me and you better not come into my life again!” My face was more heated than ever. Levi opened his mouth wide to say some witty retort, but my eyes narrowed and I reached into my pocket for my wand. He turned and walked briskly to his next class which was already halfway over.
I didn’t have the control over my own body to move out from the dungeon. Everything felt so heavy, I could hear the echoing of his words mixed in with chides of my mother and the soft warning tone of Dr. Eloise. All people who just wanted so much of me. They all have these expectations, that there’s a “Happy Lily” switch inside me. They think they can just prod through all my feelings and toil with all my emotions to find the “Society Acceptable Lily” or the “Sweet School Girl Lily”. They think I’m not being honest. They don’t know I know nothing else but this notion that everything’s better if you leave it alone. I am aware how wrong that sounds.
Safe to say, I avoided Levi Wood like a second coming of the Bubonic Plague. He did the same and returned to his boisterous “Happy Jock Levi” self. The female population let out a sigh of relief that Levi Wood was no longer in cohorts with the loser. David assured me over and over that it was true love that kept him and Elena together through such long distances. He always spent very little time talking about her tendencies to run back to her ex, Roman. So I just have my baby, my beautiful cat Lola. Which is fine with me, to a point, it would be better if she could talk. You would think us magic folk would have worked that out by now.
Okay, so usually I am a Draco/Hermione shipper, but recently I have been so upset with the whole genre I wrote a satire of some sorts. So please ignore that and don't take it seriously. I just had to publish my anger to make it feel valid. But the next chapter of this is coming very shortly. I promise. REVIEW!!
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