Chapter 1 : Always
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Now your pictures that you left behind
Are just memories of a different life
What I'd give to run my fingers through your hair
To touch your lips, to hold you near
She was my everything. She was perfection although she made it clear that she had many flaws. To me the flaws made her who she was. Without her flaws she wouldn’t have been the perfect girl that she was. She didn’t see how special she was but I did.
We were as different as day and night. She was day, light. I was night, dark. Her smile could melt the coldest heart; she could brighten the darkest corner of a room just by walking in. she was bouncy, happy, cheerful, and optimistic. She always looked for the best in people and gave forgiveness to those who didn’t deserve it. there was this glow that seemed to follow her everywhere she went that everyone but her could see. She didn’t realize the effect she had on people.
I was her opposite. I was bitter, depressed, and angry at the world. People stayed away from me just as I stayed away from them. I had my three friends, the marauders, and that was all I needed. I didn’t want anyone else. I was pessimistic, always expecting the worst from my life. I held grudges and believed that people couldn’t change. To me there were bad people and good people. I saw no good in the bad people, they were just bad. I darkened the rooms she brightened and carried a storm cloud over my head.
We were as different as two people can be but I couldn’t stay away from her. The saying that opposites attract is true. Every unspoken rule of the world said I should turn away but I couldn’t. I was attracted to her light. When I was around her my life was a little better. I was addicted to her and she didn’t know it. I needed the warmth she gave off; I had been cold for so long. I needed to be around her, I couldn’t breathe if I wasn’t. She drove me crazy but she did nothing to me. I hated her but I couldn’t live without her. I had no reason to hate her; there was nothing to hate about her, she was perfect. I learned later that the feeling I thought was hatred was jealousy. I was jealous of the happiness she projected and I wanted it, I would do anything to get it.
She could have had anybody but she chose me and I still don’t know why. Every day I wonder why she chose night when she could have had day. I didn’t deserve her light but she gave it to me anyway. She was like my own personal sun. She protected me and kept me safe. She fought off the darkness to keep me in the light.
I loved her, I will always love her. She saved me. She thought I was worth saving when everybody else had given up. The rest of the world let go of me but she held on. She refused to let me fall. I didn’t understand why she would choose me to save, I don’t think she even knew why she did but I will be forever grateful that she did. I pushed her away at first just like I pushed away the rest of the world but I gradually let her in and allowed her to pull me to safety.
She taught me so much about life. I learned how to forgive my enemies even though I didn’t want to. She showed me how to see beneath people’s surface and search for the good that lay hidden inside. She taught me how to live without fear and to live each day like I would never have another. She lit the path out of the darkness and showed me how to find the light again if I would ever lose my way. Of all the things she taught me there is one that is more important than the others; she taught me how to open my mind to the world and listen to the music of the universe.
I love her and she left me; my light, my sun was never coming back because Leora Ann Wakefield is dead and there is nothing I can do to bring her back.
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