Chapter 31 : Control
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There’s nothing quite as bad as realizing you’ve been made a fool of. When you fall in love with someone and think everything is going pretty good after several months together, only to find out that they’ve been cheating on you for quite some time, it’s horrible. I feel like the dumbest idiot on the whole planet.
James has been lying to me for months. Since before the baby was even born. That’s what he and my brother were fighting about, I just know it. It makes me pretty mad that Scorp knew, but I know I shouldn’t blame this on him. He’s just as good at emotional stuff as me.
The whole time I thought that he was with me at Selena’s house, he was sneaking away to be with her. The night that I had my daughter, he was with her. I even talked to Fred. He was with the search party the whole time. I don’t know why I believed him. Why wouldn’t they look at Fred’s? I shake my head now as I think about how absolutely daft I’ve been.
Looking back on it I can see everything that I was so blind to. He said he loved me because he was guilty. When I really dwell on it ( which I have been doing), I can think of a few times he might have been about to tell me. That doesn’t make anything better. I have to do this, and get this over with.
I walk slowly up the stone walkway to the Potter’s door. It’s snowy and cold, and even though I’m bundled up my nose is bright red and dripping. My cheeks ache with the cold wind, and my fingers are frozen to the box. I glance down into it and grimace.
James’ clothes, James’ shoes, James’ books. Anything that’s remotely his that I could find is in this box, and I’m going to give it to his mum. Or at least, I’m praying she’ll open the door so I can give it to her. If anyone else answers I might be tempted to drop it and run, which I think would embarrass me in the long run.
After a few half-hearted pep talks I balance the box on my knee and knock. I listen carefully, hearing heavy footsteps coming after a few seconds. My heart skips a beat as I realize that it’s probably James. I turn and judge the likelihood of me getting out of here before they reach the door, but then it opens.
“ Oh, hey, Ella.”
It’s Albus. Thank you, God. “ Hey, Al. Um…I have some stuff for your brother.”
Albus looks irritated, and sticks his chin out. “ I’m not talking to him. I’ll go get my mum to give it to him.”
I can’t help but smile. “ Thanks.”
“ My pleasure. You can come in if you want. He’s in the back.”
I chew on my lip, but nod. I don’t want to see James, but I don’t want to die of hypothermia either. I step into the warm house and rub my arms, looking around surreptitiously. Albus disappears into the kitchen, and I set the box on the floor. From the back I can hear voices. I wince as I recognize the sound of James, and I consider running again.
“ Would you pass me the bowl, darling?”
Balking suddenly is out of my mind, and I am walking carefully towards the noise of the television and conversation. That is definitely an unfamiliar female voice, and she sounds young. I feel a surge of fury that makes me clench my fists as I wonder if that is Amber. What a stripper name.
I peek around the corner and see the top of James’ head, and it’s very near another head. A brunette one. Something happens on the TV that I don’t hear or see and they start to shake with laughter. Then, while I’m watching in disgust, James turns his head and kisses the temple of the brunette. I’m about to turn around and storm from the house when loud footsteps come up behind me.
“ What are you doing here, Ella?” says a politely confused voice, while I know right away is Mr. Potter.
It’s too late to run now. James and the girl turn around. She’s pretty. I hate her. But she does have a black eye, and I remember why I keep Selena around.
James looks upset, and the girl ( I know it’s Amber by now, but I don’t want to think of that whore-y name) looks absolutely mortified. It’s rather rude, but I ignore Mr. Potter’s question, and go right up to them. I stare down my nose at the brunette, and I’m glad there isn’t a mirror around, because I’m sure I look like Grandmother Narcissa when she’s irritated.
“ I assume you know who I am.” I say to her, ignoring James.
She swallowed, actually more like gulped. “ U-uh yes.”
“ Lovely to meet you. Whore.” I turn away from her affronted face and glare at James. “ I left a box of your shit at the door. Have a nice fucking life.”
Then I turn, and sweep impressively towards the door. Mr. Potter follows me, and I turn to look at him quickly before I go. He claps me on the shoulder, like we’re old mates.
“ I knew I liked you, Ella.”
I smile. “ Thanks, Mr. Potter.”
“ That’s Harry to you.” ‘Harry’ then winks. “ We’ll be over this weekend to get Lizzy.”
“ Great. And…thanks, Harry. Bye.”
I walk outside before I can feel too awkward about calling Mr. Potter ‘Harry’. I pull my coat around me tighter and walk down the street, where Selena is waiting for me somewhere. I’m actually really jealous she can now apparate and I can’t, but that’s beside the point.
For the first time for quite some time I feel in control.
**A/N: Yes, this chapter was EXTREMELY short. I promise to make up for it with the next one, and I have some sad news for you guys. Well, maybe. Those who dislike my story may be happy. The next chapter is going to be the very last.
I think I said ten more like three chapters ago or something, but I (severely) miscalculated. The next chapter will close this story, but I am doing a sequel, and writing an alternate ending as a one-shot. I look forward to seeing if you guys are happy with the ending, and I can’t wait to see if you like the alternate ending.
Thanks to everyone who’s been reading so far, it means the world to me, it really does :)
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