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Spiked Eggnog by macerinut
Chapter 1 : Spiked Eggnog
 
Rating: 15+Chapter Reviews: 43


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“Hermione, wake up!” Hermione groaned as banging on her dorm door began to accompany the shouting.

“Harry,” she said groggily as she got out of her warm bed and walked over to the door. Yawning, she opened it and stared questioningly at the disheveled boy in front of her. “What’s wrong?”

“Blaise Zabini has been standing outside of the portrait, wailing your name for the past ten minutes and more. The Fat Lady made it very clear to Nearly Headless Nick who woke me up, that she is very displeased.” His lower lip began to tremble. “Hermione, do you have any idea of what it feels like to be wakened up by a ghost, especially when they use a special ghostly method like, hmm, I don’t know... Possessing you?!”

“No, Harry, I don’t. I should probably go see what Zabini wants though. Maybe someone turned Malfoy into a ferret again.” This happened occasionally as the result of dares from other Slytherins. They were never rewarded.

“If only,” Harry sighed and trudged back to the boys’ dorm. Hermione had been kicked out of the Heads’ private dorm as her fellow Head, Malfoy, had planned to hold a Slytherin Christmas mini-party. Since they were sort of friends, or at least were always civil to each other, she had agreed and had slept in her old dorm back in the Gryffindor Tower. Ginny and Ron were on vacation for the holidays in Rome and her other dorm mates had returned home for theirs. In fact, there were probably less than ten people left in the castle, excluding the teachers of course. She and Harry had stayed as her parents were also on vacation in Canada to attend a conference on a new type of toothpaste that promised fresh breath for a week.

Hermione stifled another yawn and made her way down to the portrait. Opening it, she caught sight of Blaise who looked as if though he had been trampled by a centaur. Or numerous centaurs. Either way, he looked worse for wear.

“Granger, thank Merlin!” His blue eyes widened as he looked around quickly. “Listen, I need your help!”

“What- Zabini, you hate me!”


“Not really, actually, but anyways, it’s a matter of life or death!”

“Really? Then why don’t you take it to Draco and let him handle it?” He shifted uncomfortable and mumbled something. “What was that?”

“I may have... done something...”

“Zabini,” her voice was dangerously low, “what did you do?”

“I might’ve spiked the eggnog with Amortentia, Veritaserum, a confusing potion and maybe a bit of Felix Felicis?” Her jaw literally dropped and she gaped at him. He seemed please by this. “Heehee, I’ve made know-it-all Granger speechless! Ain’t I a fellow?”

“Shut up Zabini!” she snapped. “Now-,”

“Call me Blaise and I’ll call you Hermione and by the way, it’s actually really your fault.” He looked at her accusingly.

“My fault?!” She took a step toward him and he took one back, gulping. “How the HELL is this my fault?”

“Hermione, language!”

“ZABINI!”

“You certainly aren’t that quick, are you? My name is Blaise. B-L-A-I-S-E.”

“I will kill you. Painfully and slowly, Blaise,” she warned.

He blanched and nodded. “Right then. Draco couldn’t work up the nerve to ask you out so I, being the incredibly good friend that I am, tried to help him win you over.”

“Malfoy wants to ask me out?” she asked incredulously. “I sincerely doubt it. Did you happen to maybe drink some of that confusing potion you were talking about before?”

“Yes, he wants to ask you out! Why do you think he’s been avoiding you these past few weeks in the halls? You know, ever since they put the mistletoe up and he realized that he was in love with you?”

Hermione thought for a moment. He had been avoiding her, not that she’d really noticed. But he had been looking at her strangely too and every time their eyes met, he’d look away or scowl much like his best friend was doing now. “Alright, let’s say I believe you. All I know is that you’ve spiked the eggnog. How does that warrant for my immediate awakening on Christmas Eve at eleven o’clock at night?”

“Draco may have drank it and is now running loose in the halls like a madman on sugar?”

“... You’re not kidding?”

“Nope,” he said cheerfully. “And did I mention he’s slightly crazy as well?”

“No.”

“Well, anyways, now you know and now you can help me find him, fix him and then you, my dear Gryffindor princess, get to kiss him. All’s well that ends well, eh?”

She closed her eyes and let out a groan. “For the love of Merlin, why does this have to happen to me?”

“Technically,” Blaise pointed out, still remaining in his cheerful, albeit annoying, disposition, “you haven’t had anything done to you. Not yet, anyways. But we need to find him, fix him and then-,”

“I know, I know! Just let me get dressed-,”

“There’s no time! Besides you look,” he gave her the once over, taking in the messy hair, red top and pants polkadotted with gingerbread men all over them and the brown fluffy Hippogriff slippers, “fine. Now let’s go!” She rolled her eyes and was about to retort when something, or someone, interrupted her.

“Heehee! Look! I’m a flying monkey!” And there he was. Her secret, secret crush, fellow Head, enemy Slytherin and former nemesis, Draco Malfoy.

Running up the stairs in a pair of green silk boxers, with chocolate smeared all over his face in a sort of battle paint and making strange gestures with his arms that slightly resembled those of a monkey.

Of course, all Hermione noticed was the six pack and the fact that a very hot guy, crazy or not, was standing in front of her wearing nothing but rather short boxers that seemed to fit him perfectly. Blaise let out a snort at her awe-struck expression.

“Yeah, there’s no chance for you two at all,” he said sarcastically. “Have you noticed that your wanna-be boyfriend is currently trying to act like a flying monkey?”

“I was too busy enjoying the view,” she snapped back irritably before realizing what she had just said.

“So am I but uh, I’m not exactly impressed.” He began imitating the blonde’s monkey gestures. She made a face at him.

“Well, the better part.”


“You mean the nakey-nakey part, don’t cha? Don’t cha wish your Slytherin was hot like me? Don’t you wish your Slytherin was a freak like me?” he sang in a horrible girly voice. “Although I think he’s hit that nail on the head. Figuratively and literally.” He pointed to where the blonde was currently hitting his head on a nail in the wall.

“Draco,” Hermione said cautiously, moving closer. “Why are you hitting your head on a nail in the wall?”

“I’m a hammer,” he answered, keeping his eyes glued to the wall in front of him. “That’s my job. You’re a smarty, you should know that.” He stopped and looked at her, cocking his head. “Heh, you’re a smartie! Yummy yummy!” His eyes grew wide and he looked at her solemnly. “Do you eat the red ones last?”

“What- No! Draco,” she cringed as Blaise let out another snort. She did not like the blonde, romantically at least. No way. There was some other reason, a far more logical reason that she had just called him by his first name. “You need help.”

“No,” he said slowly as if talking to a child. He pointed his finger at Hermione. “You need help. From the love doctor. Let’s call him Blue.” Immediately, he squatted down and looked up at her, pretending to stroke a fake beard. “You need help with love child? Is that why you come to Doctor Love Blues? Hmm?”

“Yeah, sure,” she muttered. Draco nodded.

“Ah, yes I see. You very smart witch, no?”

“Yes, I very- yes, I’m a very smart witch.”

“Yet you no realize handsome sex god in love with you?”

“What? No-,”

“Shush!” he thundered, standing up. “You no talky, no talky right now! Handsome sex god in love with you! You in love with him?”

“Yes,” chirped Blaise, “she is!” Hermione glared at him but Draco continued nodding.

“Ah, is good, is good... You kissy him now, no? Kiss kiss?” He didn’t give her chance to answer before crashing his lips onto hers. Although it only lasted a few seconds, Hermione found herself thoroughly enjoying it and wishing it could last forever. She was vaguely aware of Blaise making gagging sounds but ignored him blissfully. Draco pulled away a second later and looked down at her curiously.

“Ooh... boo-,”


“That’s enough!” she yelped. “Don’t you dare finish that sentence Draco Malfoy!”

“Ghosts don’t have sentences,” he said stubbornly, stomping his foot. “We just say ‘boo’! So... BOO!” She stared at him. “You’re not running.” He said it like it was a statement and a frown flitted over his face.

“No, I’m not.”

“You’re not... afraid?”

“No.”

“Then I’m not a good ghost! Wahh!” He began to cry and threw himself into her arms. “All I want is to be loved!” he wailed. “I love funny smartie Mione and she hates me!”

“I don’t hate you,” she said softly, rubbing his back as he continued to sob on her. “I may even like you but right now I need you to-,”

He pulled away and grinned at her. “You love me?”

“I-,” she began but was cut off by a squeal.

“You love me! I transform to... Amazing Acrobatic Man! Kiss for luck,” he said, smirking and gave her a quick passionate kiss, “and now I go to SAVE THE WORLD!” He ran a few steps and began doing back flips and front flips and hand stands. Thankfully, the luck in the eggnog was giving him enough courage and luck to actually land them all. She watched him run away before turning back to Blaise.

“You have chocolate on your face,” he was kind enough to point out. She scowled at him and rubbed at off with her hand.

“Let’s just go find Amazing Acrobatic Man before all reason returns to me and I kill the both of you, shall we?”

***

Now, the story has been mainly about Hermione, Blaise and the Amazing Acrobatic Man who used to be a Doctor Love Blues who used to be a hammer who used to be a flying monkey who at one point was Draco Malfoy. With a slight mention of Harry Potter who now will continue the story.

Ten minutes after Hermione and Blaise had left the entrance to Gryffindor to start their quest, Harry Potter realized he just couldn’t sleep without knowing what was going on. He slid out of his only recently warmed bed and pulled a fuzzy red sweater over his blue pajama top and slipped on some unicorn slippers that were sitting around on the floor since his favourite Hippogriff ones had mysteriously disappeared. He left his dorm and exited the Tower and decided to see for himself what Blaise Zabini had been wailing about. He made his way through the halls, noting that there were candles lighting the way as he had  remembered to bring his wand but figured if Lady Luck was smiling down and favouring him then all would be especially well.

In truth, Lady Luck was actually favouring the previously mentioned before trio but what Harry Potter didn’t know, wouldn’t hurt him.

He eventually came to the Heads’ entrance and said the password Hermione had told him, cheerios, before entering. The room was decorated in tasteful holiday cheer and he noticed a rather large bowl sitting at the end of a table filled with snacks. It looked suspiciously like eggnog.

Harry Potter loved eggnog.

Licking his lips, he slowly walked over and ladled some into a cup. So intent was he on his favourite Christmas drink that he did not notice that the room was actually rather messy. There were ribbons and streamers on the floor and smoke was coming from a nearby wizard CD player. He gulped down the tasty treat and let out a satisfied sigh. As he set his cup down, contemplating on having another, he found himself giggling. After all, the fact that his hand was still in cup holding form seemed the most amusing thing to him.

The eggnog had turned him.

He continued to giggle until another thought struck his mind. His mouth opened slightly as his brain turned to mush with one thought controlling it. He, Harry Potter, would become the Greatest Paper Cup ever! He bent his knees and stuck his arms up, with the elbows slightly bent, so that his hands were at ear level. Then he began to hop and hopped out of the room to terrorize the castle.

But the curse of the eggnog does not end there. For, as a matter of fact, Harry Potter had not been the seconded victim of this heinous eggnog drinking.

Severus Snape had been.

But before we go into that particular thread of the story, we must first continue this one a little more.

Ten minutes after the Greatest Paper Cup, formerly known as Harry Potter, had hopped out of the Heads’ dorm, he ran into the Amazing Acrobatic Man. Suffice to say, things went splendidly and they switched identities, each thinking the other’s was better.

“I am now the Amazing Acrobatic Man!” declared Harry Potter. “The bestest thing ever!”

“But I thought the Greatest Paper Cup was the bestest ever,” Draco pointed out. The two stared at each other.

“You are correct, my papery drink holding friend,” Harry said solemnly. “I will become the Greatest Paper Cup!”

“And I will be the Amazing Acrobatic Man!” They grinned at each other and made funny faces when suddenly a thought struck Draco again and he frowned, although it’s difficult to frown when one has one’s tongue stuck out and off to the side. “If being Amazing Acrobatic Man is the best, then how come you’re still the Greatest Paper Cup?”

Harry frowned as well. “I dunno.”

“Ah! Hello boys! Glad to see you’re both getting along!” The two teens, having been saved from their growing headaches and confusion, turned to see Dumbledore walking toward them, wearing his normal blue robes and half moon glasses.

“Oh my Godric!” Harry cried. “It’s Santa Claus!” Draco cheered and clapped while Dumbledore looked appalled.

“Excuse me?” their Headmaster cried. “Do I look like I’m wearing a red suit, have a large sack filled with toys, red chubby cheeks and a belly that shakes like jelly? Do you think I’m overweight? Do you?”

Draco tittered. “He said ‘do you’,” he giggled.

“Sounds like doodoo,” Harry agreed before joining in giggles. The two looked at each other and giggled again before linking arms and walking the opposite way from the very confused Headmaster.

“Macho, macho man!” they sang. “We wanna be... the macho man! Macho, macho man!”

“For Merlin’s sake!” Dumbledore yelled after them, exasperated. “Make up your mind! Those two need to lay off the eggnog,” he muttered, not knowing exactly how right he was. He continued on his way, trying to get the rather catchy song out of his head when something knocked him to the ground. He groaned and looked up, only to see his normally silent sulking potions master staring down at him on all fours with his knees bent high by his head, sort of looking like a frog.

Dumbledore stared at him and he stared back.

“Ribbit,” said Severus Snape and hopped on the poor old man once before hopping off down the hall. Dumbledore decided that the wise thing to do when the occupants of one’s school go crazy was to just stay where you were and hope they couldn’t smell fear.

***

Now, as stated before, Severus Snape had been the second victim of the spiked eggnog, instead of Harry Potter. Being the smart wizard, former Slytherin and current Slytherin Head he was, Severus had guessed that the few remaining students in his House would try to hold some sort of party to celebrate his least favourite holiday. And since Draco Malfoy was a Head, what better place to hold the party than in the Heads’ dorm where even the professors didn’t know the password. But Severus Snape hadn’t been a Slytherin for nothing and had wrangled it out of Zabini earlier that day as a bargaining chip from him so that he wouldn’t get detention for the rest of the holidays. He had caught him charming the mistletoe and doorways so that not only would the poor unsuspecting couple have to kiss, but they’d also do it while stripped down in their underwear and then have to say their true feelings for one another. He had a suspicious feeling that it had something to do with Malfoy and Granger. Nevertheless, he had sent him on his way after getting the password and then had gone for a walk.

And he hadn’t forgotten to un-charm the mistletoe either. He had purposely left it that way just in case an ogre should once again attack Harry Potter and, while running through the hall chasing each other, find themselves under it. What a lovely Christmas present that would be.

Later on that night, precisely at ten forty-five, two minutes after Blaise had gone to find Hermione, he entered the Heads’ dorm. The common room was decorated in Christmas streamers and ribbons and there was a table full of food to one side. He frowned though as he noticed a mess of more streamers on the floor and saw the smoke curling up from the wizard CD player. Perhaps some dare had gone wrong or the party had got out of hand, even though there were only a few people left in the school that would have come. After all, the party had been headed by Malfoy and Zabini and only Merlin knew what went through their brains during party mode.

Severus soon caught sight of the eggnog on the table and walked over. He narrowed his eyes. Undoubtedly, it would have been spiked with Firewhiskey. He really should try it and find out, just to make sure of it and not falsely accuse anyone without evidence. He picked up a nearby paper cup and ladled some of the creamy liquid into it, sniffing it first before drinking it. It tasted delicious and he quickly filled up a second cup and drank it too. Soon there were five paper cups littering the floor and Severus was feeling quite warm and fuzzy.

“I say, I do like wearing green,” he wondered out loud, while looking down at himself. “Perhaps I’m not a man or wizard after all. I am green. Frogs are green. Frogs are good. Perhaps I’m a frog then?” He squatted down and got into the universal frog form and hopped out of the room and into the hall, with the occasional “ribbit”, only to run into the already confused Headmaster forty minutes later. It was then, after hopping away from him, that he decided to be Santa Claus.

***

And now, at precisely half after eleven, on Christmas Eve, Hermione and Blaise found themselves staring at a most peculiar sight, even on a night such as this.

Their potion master was waddling toward them, wearing a rather nice red velvet Santa Claus suit, and patting a large belly that seemed quite out of place and was shaking like a bowl full of jelly. His cheeks had what looked like red blush on them and there was a ripe red cherry on his nose. He was wearing a matching hat as well with a white pompom on the end and shiny black boots that liked to make themselves known, graced his feet.

“Ho ho ho!” he laughed, grabbing his belly and smiling at them. “I’m Santa Claus!”

“There’s a twinkle in his eye,” Blaise whispered to Hermione. “It’s creeping me out! Do something!”

“Me?” she hissed. “You do something! This is your fault!”

“How?”

“Obviously, he drank that stupid spiked eggnog!”

“I thought I’d already explained to you about how that was your fault in the first place! If you had only just asked Draco out-,”

“Shut up!”

“Children!” Snape roared. He frowned and shook his finger at them. “If you two don’t start behaving, I’ll have to put you both on the naughty list!”

“She started it,” Blaise muttered. Hermione glared at him. He stuck his tongue out at her and she smacked him on the arm.

“Violence! Santa, Hermione hit me!”

“You’re such a baby!”

“Am not!”

“Are too!”

“Am not!”

“Are too!”

“WAAHHH!” They both turned and saw their professor sitting on the ground, his lower lip stuck out and trembling and tears streaming down his cheeks. The sight was actually rather funny and Blaise bit back a laugh as Hermione shot him a warning glare.

“Great job Granger! Now you’ve just given our potions professor the idea to be a baby! How wonderful!” She chose to ignore the sarcasm in his voice. “See, that’s what you get for being a mean head! Karma, hah- Ow!” That time, she hit him.


Snape wailed.

“Momma and Dadda stop fighting!” he cried. “Sevvy no likey when Daddy act like wimp!”

Hermione smirked. Blaise scowled. “I’m not a wimp!”

“Are so.”

“Am not!”

“Are so!”

“Am not-,”

“Macho, macho man! We are the... macho man! Macho, macho man!” Harry and Draco were dancing towards them, acting all tough while trying not to giggle. They caught sight of Snape sitting on the floor, crying, and stopped. They walked right up to him and promptly sat their butts down beside him.

“WAAHHH!” the three wailed altogether. “WANNA WANNA BUBBLES!”

“Oh, good grief!” Blaise cried. “I give up! That’s it. If you can’t beat ‘em, join them!” He made as if to run away but Hermione grabbed him by the arm and pulled him back.

“Don’t you dare wimp out on me now, Zabini! I swear to Merlin, that if you drink that damn eggnog, I will hex you so bad that you won’t be able to do anything without needing to do it with a straw!” she snarled. Blaise gulped.

“Yes ma’am...”

“Now, I’m going to go find somebody that’s sane while you stay here and keep them amused. Don’t let them leave!”

“But I don’t want to baby-sit!”

“Tough cookies! Stay. Here.” She ran down the hall and out of sight. Blaise made a face and turned his attention back to the three current crazies of the school. He stared at them. They stared back. Harry opened his mouth and a high pitched scream came out of it.

“WANNA WANNA BUBBLES!”

“WANNA WANNA BUBBLES!” the other two wailed before all three of them began wailing in unison.

“Fine, just please shut up!” He looked around nervously. He had left his wand back at the Heads’ dorm. Then he noticed Harry’s sticking out from his pajama pants’ pocket. “Aha!” he exclaimed triumphantly and reach for it.

Only to have his fingers bitten by a now giggling Harry Potter.

“You rotten little brat!” he yelled. “You bit me!”

“Dadda funny,” Draco giggled and the other two giggled too. Blaise found it rather creepy and quickly grabbed the wand before any of them had a chance to react. He wordlessly said a charm and watched in relief as the three quit their crying and began trying to catch the bubbles which were blowing out of the wand.

Half his plan was done. Of course there had been a few unseen consequences but that was due to the stupidity of the victims and so not his fault. Now all he had to do was get Draco and Hermione under some mistletoe. There had been a third charm on it- one that would undo the whole eggnog fiasco and turn Draco back to normal for you see, Blaise Zabini had actually thought it all the way out.

Before allowing Draco to drink the spiked eggnog, he had placed an old spell he had found in the library on him. It was a cautionary spell used for when testing potions, one that Severus Snape had learned many years ago and had conveniently forgotten after deciding to make his students test their own potions, for the most part anyway. But when the spelled person came in contact with the counter-spell, like the mistletoe, all effects of any potions consumed during that time would be undone.

Blaise also thought about his current situation and decided that telling Hermione Granger the truth of it all, might not be such a good idea. She couldn’t handle the truth.

***

“Professor Dumbledore, thank goodness I’ve found you! Oh no,” Hermione gasped, covering her mouth with her hand, “please tell me you did not drink that eggnog and now think you’re part of the floor.”

“Why no, Miss Granger, I did not,” Dumbledore said pleasantly from where he remained lying down on the floor. “I was just called Santa Clause by Harry and Draco and then hopped upon by my potions master and now I feel that I should just stay here until this whole thing blows over. Did you say something about eggnog? I am rather thirsty-,”

“No! Professor, promise me you will not drink any of the eggnog in the Heads’ dorm! Promise!”

“Oh, alright then. I promise. I suppose it has something to do with the current cases of insanity manifesting in the other three?”

“Yes. It was spiked with numerous potions by stupid Blaise Zabini.”

“Ah, yes, well,” he continued, his blue eyes sparkling up at her, “I suppose it was all in the good name of love and Christmas.”

“What?! Headmaster-,”

“Miss Granger I do believe that I can count on you to fix Zabini’s mess and return everything to its usual normal?”

“Yes, sir,” she muttered.

“Good. And if I were you I might want to hurry. I think I hear girlish screams coming from down the hall over there.” Hermione winced and ran toward the screams.

***

“Granger!” Blaise cried. “Get me down!”

Hermione halted as she caught sight of Blaise hanging upside down in midair, with Harry controlling the wand and bouncing him up and down. She burst into laughter.

“This is not funny, Hermione! Get me down-Oof!” He collided with the floor again and moaned before being lifted back into the air. “Help!”

“Harry, what are you doing to Blaise?” Hermione asked, biting her lip to keep from laughing again. Personally, she saw no problem with it.

“He’s the Magnificent Bouncing Boy!” Harry commented, not taking his eyes off of Blaise. “We decided for him, it being a mutiny and all.”

“Alright. Carry on.”

“Hermione!” Blaise yelped.

“Oh, fine,” she sighed. “Sorry Harry, about unfortunately you’ve got to let Blaise down now.”

“Yes, Queen Hermione.” He obediently lowered the wand and let Blaise drop to the floor in a rather undignified matter. Then all three bowed to her.

It was rather strange and flatter to have her best friend, enemy and hated potions master bow to her. And she rather liked it. Blaise of course continued scowling, inwardly wondering if the personal pain caused to his person was worth it all. He decided it was time to draw this prank to a close.

He silently Accioed one of the charmed bunches of mistletoe and had it stay hovering up in the air off to the side.

“Hermione,” he said calmly, “please order Draco to stand right over there.”

“Why?” Her eyes narrowed suspiciously.

“Because he’ll listen to you if he thinks that you’re his queen!”

“But why do you want him standing over there?”

“I have a plan.”

“Really? Did you happen to notice that your last one didn’t exactly work out?” He stuck his tongue out at her and she stuck hers back at him.

“My queen, would you like us to remove his presence? Is this peasant bothering you?” prompted Snape, giving the now slightly scared Blaise a smirk. “We would die and kill for you, my queen.”

“Maybe in a minute,” she smiled at Blaise who returned it with a death glare, “but for right now, Draco, be a dear and stand over there for me.” Draco smiled and bowed to her before moving to where she was pointing. She turned to Blaise expectantly. He smiled at her.

And then gave her a big push so that both she and Draco were standing under the charmed mistletoe.

“You have destroyed our queen’s modesty!” Harry cried. “Kill the traitor!” Blaise barely had time to whimper before running for his life, Harry and Snape hot on his heels. Meanwhile, Hermione and Draco had both been stripped down to their underwear and found they couldn’t move their feet.

“Granger, how did I get here? And why are we practically naked with mistletoe above us?” He seemed genuinely confused. “Last thing I remember, Blaise was handing me a cup of eggnog...” he trailed off, frowning. “And then... happiness and light and fuzzy feelings in my stomach.” He gave her a horrified look. “Oh dear Merlin! I remember!”

Hermione rolled her eyes. “Draco, you went crazy and-,” she stopped, seeing the disbelief on his face. “What?”

“You... called me Draco,” he said, mystified.

“Yeah, well, after finding out that you’re apparently in love with me and having you kiss me-,” here he groaned and she frowned, “and then chasing you around the school, you kinda stop using last names. Why is kissing me bad?”

“It’s not that. It’s just the way... I’m normally more romantic. But why am I back to my normal charming sexy self now?”

“I’m not sure. Blaise made me order you to stand here and then he pushed me here and we’re both under mistletoe...” Then it dawned on her. “He must’ve charmed the mistletoe to counter the eggnog’s effects! He planned this all along! I’m going to murder him!”

“Yes, yes, and so will I but first,” he said, grinning at her, “I believe I’m suppose to kiss you. If you don’t mind...?

She stared at him. “Draco Malfoy, after all I’ve been through tonight, what with finding out you’re in love with me- you are in love with me, right?”

“... Yes...”

“And then chasing you around with you kissing me on a whim twice and praying to Merlin that you didn’t kill anyone, or worse, yourself, you’re actually asking me if you can kiss me?”

“...Yes?” Once again, the poor boy was confused. She sighed.

“Yes, you can kiss me, you dolt!” He smiled before leaning down and capturing her lips in a searing kiss that made her knees go weak.

“Ah, all’s well that end’s well then.” They broke apart only to see Dumbledore beaming at them. “But, uh, where are the other three...?”

Draco shrugged. “Who cares,” he muttered before leaning down to kiss Hermione again but she pushed him away.

“If the mistletoe negates the effects of the eggnog,” she said slowly, “then who do we get to kiss the other two?” They looked to the Headmaster.

“I’m afraid I can’t offer my services there. Too many lawsuits and such,” he hurried off.

“I’m not doing it and neither are you,” Draco declared. Hermione glared at him.

“And how is that your say?”

“Because, my dear intelligent Gryffindor, I am not kissing any guys and neither is my new girlfriend, except for me of course.”

“New girlfriend?” her voice sounded a little squeaky.

“Yes Granger,” he replied, rolling his eyes, “I want you to be my new girlfriend.”

“Alright. But on one condition?”

“What?”

“You never let Blaise near any eggnog ever again!”

“Alright,” he chuckled, kissing her again. “It’s a deal.”

***

“Someone?” Blaise called. “Anyone? I need help!”

Snape and Harry looked up at him, smirking, from where the stood on the ground. They were in snappy tuxes and wearing dark sunglasses with their arms folded across their chests.

“That’ll teach you to mess with the FBI, punk,” Harry said, in a tough voice. “Let’s go,Triple Four, and report back to Double-O-Seven.”

“Right, Number One,” Snape agreed. “We’ll leave this punk up on that tree for the crows.” The two started laughing and walked away.

Blaise closed his eyes and groaned. To hell with it. Next time, Draco could ask his own crush out and save him the trouble of trying to be a good friend. No more mister matchmaker.

Although... Potter and Lovegood would make a good couple. So would Longbottom and Pansy. He looked up at the stars thoughtfully. Perhaps this was the start to a beautiful new job. 



***



Please review and let me know if you like it! It's my first Christmas story, so comments, compliments and anything else would be greatly appreciated!




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