Chapter 1 : Drowning
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me down. It all went downhill from there.
Fast forward to present time, it is dark, windy,and cold. The thermostat stands at just above freezing. The pouring rain pelts the window panes in thick waves of ice cold water. I went our to stand in the front lawn. I remembered how he packed his trunk and draged it out the front door and down the paced walkway to the street and dissapeared with a slight "pop". I looked back at the house and let salty tears fill my eyes. I say house and not hom. Because home is where the heart is. My heart hasn't been here since he left me here alone, used and unwanted. I let the rain fall down on me to gently caress my face and neck, hoping that one day I would be able to love again. It would have been our four year anniversary today. Instead it marked the two months since he left. He said he loved me. He said he couldn't imagine himself with anyone else but me. He said one day we
would get married and have children. He always wanted a son, so that he could name him after his father. I listened to him, I thought he knew exactly what I wanted in a relationship with him. I thought we would be together forever. But in reality I let the rain soak my cloths and weigh me down and pull me to the ground.
I couldn't breath.I felt the greif roll over me in large waves. It was unbareable. I finaly hit me. He's never comming back. He will never walk through that gate in that white picket fence and cut a little rose
bud for me and say to me that in compaison, it just makes me look more beautiful.
The fact that he left me after seven years of friendship and four years
of a serious relationship made me feel like I was ready to give iinto my disire to end my own pain. I could do it. I had the will and the means, as well as virtually nothing to live for.I was ready. But I was also paralized. I was glued to the muddy cold unforgivig ground. I bielived nothing could save me, a little flick of my wand would be all that it needed, but then he showed up.
My best fred the one who has always been my constant companion.
He walked calmly throught the gate untill he saw me lying on the muddy ground in my thin tee-shirt and jeans. He ran too me as quick as a firebolt. He skidded on his knees to a stop next to my frozen figure, liffted me in his stron. Warm arms and quickly carried me into my garishly chearfull yellow house. I didn't relize how cold I truly was untill I felt the warmpth of the fire. he quiclky stripped off the cloths that had become plastered to my body and set me next to the hearth. He ran around my cottage to try and find blankets. I wards in my paralized state, when he came back with a large stack, I allowed him to wrap me in layers of blankets. No matter how dry or warm I felt, my teeth still chattered.
He sat behind me and held me close. He let my skin thaw. Finaly,
when I could feel again, I cried. I cried for my dead parents, I cried for Collin, I cried for every friend that I lost durring the war,I cried for my ruined dreams. And finaly I fried for my lost love. My friend sat with me and let my cry into his sholder. He stroked my back and told me everything was ok and that it was going to get better. He told me not to give up. I knew why before he said it. He cried wih me told me profusely, insistantly, thy he wouldn't be able to live without me. He
said he would be able to trudge throuh life without me by his side. He said that everything was diffrent and that I was the only thong that made him strong.
He tilted my chin upwards so that I could look deep into his dark
emerald green eyes, his eyes where so diffrent from the icy clod blue I
was used to. He probed my eyes and looked deep into my soul. He told me the reasson why I kept him strong was because he loved me. Plain and simple. He didn't make any promissis he just said he loved
me plain and simple. But you know what? My heart was home.