Chapter 12 : Tragedies, Funerals, and Breakups
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Little William died on June 15 at around one o'clock in the morning. Mum had gone into his room at three in the morning because he hadn't cried for a few hours. She found him lying there, dead. She screamed and everyone woke up. We ran to Will's room and took in the scene. We were all so shocked. It had been so sudden and he'd been fine last night. The Healers said it had been sudden infant death syndrome or SIDS.
I was so heartbroken. Will, my baby brother, was dead. Sam was there to comfort me. The funeral was to be tomorrow and I wasn't looking forward to it. He sat next to me in my room while I sobbed into his chest. Dad let him spend the night, and I curled up next to him.
Dad woke us both up the next morning and Sam left. He would be coming to the funeral later. Dad made breakfast for us, which no one ate. The funeral was to be at three. We weren't going to have a viewing, as it would be too hard on us. Mum just sat on the couch, staring at the wall. I felt sorry for her. I went over to her and gave her a hug. Then Harry and I went upstairs. I laid down on my bed and he laid next to me. We stared at the ceiling, too sad to get up and do anything.
“He was such a quiet baby,” I whispered. Harry held my hand.
“I know, Em, I know. We'll all miss him,” he whispered back. I felt him give me a kiss on the top of my head. Tears started falling silently down my face.
“We didn't even get to spend a ton of time with him!” I whispered harshly. I stared at Harry, then started crying harder. “I'm sorry, Harry. I didn't mean to say it that harshly. It just. . . .slipped out.”
We stopped talking. I put my head on his chest and cried. We fell asleep and Dad woke us up a few hours later, at one-thirty. We got up and followed him downstairs.
At the funeral, so many people gave us their condolences. When the priest was telling a story that involved Will, Harry started sobbing quietly. Everyone ignored him, letting him get all his pain and sadness out. I rubbed his back. After a few minutes, Dad pulled Harry into his chest, letting him cry. I felt tears roll down my face and Mum held my hand. She gave me a teary smile.
It made me angry, that all these people could say so many things about Will when they didn't even know him. They might of cooed over him and said what a wonderful baby he was, but they didn't know him. Not like we did.
Dumbledore pulled me aside after the service was over and told me to let my anger out sometime soon. He told me that if I didn't bad things would happen. I smiled and thanked him for coming. He patted my shoulder and I knew that he knew that I was faking happiness. Who really was happy after they lost their little brother?
Everyone walked to the cemetery, with Dad and Harry carrying the coffin. Mum and I followed behind them. Sam walked next to me, holding my hand. I was grateful for that. All the others in our sad funeral procession followed behind us. It was cold, wet, and rainy. It was the perfect day for such sadness.
Dad and Harry lowered the coffin into the ground and the priest said a few words. Mum, Dad, Harry, and I all tossed a handful of dirt onto it. Sam gave my shoulder a squeeze and I leaned into him. Dad, Harry, and some others then grabbed shovels and shoveled the rest of the dirt until it was just a mound.
We got home around six o'clock. We pecked at our dinner. We'd gotten so much food. People just kept giving us food, knowing that Mum wouldn't be able to cook for us all. She was just to depressed.
I went up to my room and sat at my desk. Then I spotted my journal/diary on my bookshelf. I grabbed it and started writing.
On the fifteen of this month, Will died. We are all so sad. Mum went into his room and found him dead. I feel so terrible for her, finding her infant son dead. I don't know what I'd do if that ever happened to me.
I feel so sorry for daddy, losing his infant son. He was so happy when Will was born. He was finally getting a son. Harry is his son, but not biologically. I remember the look on his face when Mum told him that Will had died. It was. . . horrible. I can't describe it.
Bad things happen to my family. Like when Mum's first husband James was killed. Then Harry was attacked by Voldemort, Mum's miscarriage, and now Will's death. I wish that he hadn't died, but Dad told me to not think to long on the negative things of life. How can there be a positive thing in a death!? I'm so tired. I'll be going to bed now.
Emma M. Snape
The past few days have been the hardest of my life. I didn't feel like getting out of bed. Morgan was always there, curled up by my side. She talked to me, telling me that it wasn't anyone's fault that Will died. I started blaming myself. After all, I'd been arguing with Mum and I'd yelled that I wished she'd lose someone. I felt terrible.
I had read countless times about what the symptoms of depression were. I knew I should tell Dad, but he was so wrapped up with his own grief, Mum, and running the household. I hadn't had thoughts of suicide or anything, and I vowed I'd tell him if I ever did.
I talked to Morgan about my feelings, and she promised to never tell anyone. I told her if I ever had suicidal thoughts, she could tell Dad. I was relieved to finally tell someone my feelings and thoughts.
“Why are you so depressed?” Sam asked. I was tired and cranky. We were up in my room, talking. Morgan was in Harry's room, comforting him.
“Because, Samuel, I just lost my little brother!” I snapped. He'd been a bit of a jerk lately, and I couldn't put up with him anymore.
“Why don't we go somewhere?” he asked. He never really knew when to shut up, did he?
“I don't feel like it,” I said.
“You need to get out of here, its driving you insane,” Sam said. I started getting angry, fast.
“The only thing driving me insane right now is you, Sam Carter!” I said harshly and he looked at me strangely.
“Oh really?” he asked heatedly. “Well, I'm just so tired of you sitting around and moping about how much your life sucks!”
“My brother,” I hissed softly. I got up and got into his face. “My baby brother just died and all you can say is that I'm moping around and complaining about how my life sucks?”
“Yes,” he said. “I can, because you are.”
“You selfish, evil, uncaring jerk!” I hissed. Now I was beyond angry. He'd pushed me to my breaking point and now I was going to snap.
“Really? You think I'm the jerk? You don't do anything! I tried to get you to go somewhere to get you out of here and all you do is whine. I think you're being. . . . .” he struggled for a moment and I thought he might call me something. . . horrible. “I think you're just a stuck-up. . . uncaring. . . .person.”
I paused for a moment. Had he really just said that? How could he? He'd never lost anyone so close to him, like I did. Sure, he lost his grandmum, but then, he wasn't that close to her.
“Get out!” I hissed. The air crackled with my barely suppressed magic. I was trying so hard not to attack him. That would be very hard to explain to Ministry officials why I had attacked my boyfriend. Well, make that ex-boyfriend. “Get out and never come back. I never, ever, want to see your face again after what you said.”
He paused, shocked. Then he became angry. “Fine. I won't come back.”
He left. I stared at the door for a while. Then I collapsed on my bed, exhausted. I was angry at Sam, but not that angry. Dad came in.
“Did you break-up with Sam?” he asked gently. I looked at him. He hadn't shaved in a couple of days and he looked tired.
“Yeah,” I said. “He's a jerk. He doesn't understand!”
After I said those words, I burst out crying. Dad left and let me be. He understood that I needed to let all my anger, sadness, and pain out. I loved him for that. He knew when to leave his children alone, but then he knew when to be there for them.
AN: I'm so sorry. Don't get mad at me, but it had to be done. It will strengthen some people's bonds and destroy others.
Will Sam and Emma ever be a happy couple again?
Find out next chapter. Please review!
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