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Susie Q by SiriuslyNot
Chapter 33 : I Kissed A Girl
Rating: MatureChapter Reviews: 8

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Made by Ande

Chapter 33:
I Kissed A Girl

I kissed a girl and I liked it
The taste of her cherry chapstick
I kissed a girl just to try it
I hope my boyfriend don't mind it...
- Katy Perry

Apocalypse couldn't come soon enough.

I tapped my quill impatiently against the desk, staring blankly ahead, and ignoring Peter's staring the best I could. The incident with Val last night had been, well, not what I had planned. I had quickly fled the scene with Val, leaving a shocked Peter in the quiet Common Room. As soon as we were up in our dorm, safely away from the doomed Common Room, we glanced at each other, and cringed slightly - I probably didn't hide it as well as Val, who shuddered only delicately compared to me.

And you certainly couldn't hide anything from Lily Evans.

"What's going on?" Lily asked, clearly annoyed, as she kept glancing between the three of us with a frown.

I sighed, and glared at my 'notes'. "Nothing," I muttered darkly.

"See, everytime you say that, there's something," Lily said.

"Give it a rest, Sherlock Holmes!" I snapped, continuing to draw random things on my parchment.

"You know who Sherlock Holmes is?" Lily asked surprised.

Honestly - I may be from a wizarding family, but really? Stupid, too? Oh, please!

"Class dismissed," McGonagall announced, and everyone bolted towards the doors.

I lazily picked up my books, shoving my drawings/notes in my pocket. As I looked up, I saw a flash of blonde hair dart out through the door. I glanced towards Sirius, who was arguing about something with Remus.

"I'll see you later," I said suddenly, not wanting Lily to follow me like a lost puppy. Lily frowned, taking a hesitant step after me. I gave her a meaningful look, and she dropped the issue. She probably thought I would talk about the diamond bracelet with Sirius.

No way in hell, maybe?

"Okay," she said as brightly as ever, walking towards the door. "JAMES!" she roared, making me jump.

I walked stiffly towards the remaining Marauders - sighing in relief to not see Peter with them - and took a deep breath. "Oi! Sirius!" I called, making the two boys jump and look up at me. "Sorry," I said shortly, not really feeling sorry at all.

Lately I got pleasure of so few things, so I had to suck it all up.

"Hey," Sirius said, smiling easily. My eyes darted to Remus, watching his dark expression.

"Why the long face, Lupin?" I asked, staring at him intently. I needed to know if he knew... about the kiss. If so, I had to explain that I really wasn't after his girlfriend, if that was the case.

"Tired," he said with a shrug.

"Is it...?" I started, narrowing my eyes meaningfully, and arching one eyebrow.

I felt so sneaky.

"Yeah," Remus said and pursed his lips, avoiding my eyes.

I didn't understand why he couldn't talk about it in front of me. I mean, I knew what he was - who gave a fuck?

People were so weird.

"What's wrong with Val?" he asked with a frown.

I blushed crimson, and ignored Sirius' slightly curious look.

"Are you blushing?" Sirius asked me.

"No," I snapped, looking at Remus again. "What do you mean, Lupin? Val's fine. Isn't Val fine?"

"You're hiding something," Sirius accused, folding his arms as he peered at me. "You're hiding something, and I know it!"

"Shut up, Black," I growled, narrowing my eyes at him.


Without letting him finish, I grabbed Sirius' tie, and dragged him away, stomping towards a broom cupboard.

"Ooh, cozy!" Sirius said, momentarily distracted, as I closed the door behind us. "But don't think you're getting away just that easily!"

"Shut up and listen," I started, folding my hands nervously. "There's something I need to tell you."



The door burst open unexpectedly, making both me and Sirius jump away from each other with guilty looks all over our faces - even if we were for once completely innocent.

And staring at us in silent mortification was McGonagall.

"What are you doing?" McGonagall demanded, her nostrils flaring.

"Nothing," we both said at once.

"Oh, that's believable!" McGonagall said under her breath. "If the rumors wouldn't be flying around like owls during Valentine's Day, I'd be thinking you were going to murder Mr Black," she said, giving me a disapproving glance.

"Ah, so you've heard the rumors!" Sirius said cheerfully, grinning widely. "What lovely news, professor! As for the wedding invitations--"

"WEDDING INVITATIONS!?" McGonagall exploded, her entire face turning red with sudden anger.

"Joking, Minnie," Sirius snorted, wrapping an arm around my shoulders. "Don't take it so hard if someday I am getting married, though... in my heart, there will always be a special place--"

"Okay, come on, time to go!" I interrupted, as I watched the colour change on McGonagall's face. "Laters, McGonagall!"

"Always so pushy," Sirius complained, as we walked down the corridor. "Me likes!"

"Will you ever shut up, Black?" I growled.

"Don't be so serious," Sirius chuckled, kissing my hair swiftly. "You only live once."

"Thank God for that then," I muttered, trying to shove his arm away.

"Hey, hey, hey," Sirius said, snatching my hands in his. "What's this? Are you going all menopausal on me, woman?"

I stared at him in shock. "Excuse me?"

"You're excused," he responded.

"Did you just--"

"I did."


"Prick, idiot, fucktard, dimwit, insufferable oaf," Sirius listed with a bored voice. "Did I remember all my lovely nicknames, babe? Or did I forget one?" he asked sweetly, and I watched the smirk on his lips twitch upwards.

"Dipshit," I retorted, and let Sirius kiss me lightly on the lips. "Thief."

"Hey, now we're getting personal!" Sirius laughed, as we started walking again.

"But you are a thief!" I accused.

"What did I steal?" he demanded, giving me an amused look. "Except the obvious."

"'Obvious'? What 'obvious'?"

"Well, you," Sirius said, as we arrived to the Common Room.

"You didn't steal me," I snorted, rubbing my nose awkwardly.

"I didn't buy you, either," he pointed out.

"Well, isn't that a good thing?"

Sirius gave me an odd look, before giving the password to the Fat Lady, and entering. I followed after, ignoring the dirty looks the girls in the Common Room gave me as we passed them. Sirius plopped down at the chess table, and I sat down opposite of him.

God, didn't people have anything better to do than stare at me!?

"So--" we both started at the same time.

"You first," I said, just as Sirius opened his mouth again.

"No, you," he said. "You said you had something to tell me."

"I did?" I asked dully.

"You did," Sirius said, staring at me over the chessboard. "And don't play stupid - you're way too intelligent for that."

Ooh, I quite like the sound of-- hey, wait a minute...

Sometimes he confused me so much it wasn't even funny.

"I did something stupid," I mumbled. "Pawn to E3."

I watched as the pawn moved on the table, and settled on its place.

"Oh, really?" Sirius asked with an easy smile. "I'm not surprised, although, I'm sure it's an amusing story. Pawn to E6. So what did you do?"

"I... kind of... like... totally kissed Val."

Sirius stared intensely at the table, his forehead pulled in a small frown. I couldn't help but notice that he was looking incredibly calm.

"Sirius?" I said carefully.


"Did you hear a bloody word I just said?"

"Yeah, of course I did," he said and looked up at me. "You kissed Val."

"Yes!" I said, waiting for some kind of reaction. "Aren't you mad, or something?"

"Wait, what?" Sirius demanded, leaning back in his chair with his arms crossed. "Are you serious?"

"Of course I'm bloody serious, you prick!" I shouted, huffing loudly. "D'you think I'd come up with this kind of bullshit for fun, for your pleasure, huh!?"

A sly smirk crossed Sirius' face, making him look like a real criminal with bad intentions. "Oh, I hope so, it is a major turn-on, Susie..."

"Unbelievable," I muttered, shaking my head at him. "You are - without a doubt - the most perverted idiot ever."

"Girl-on-girl is the sexy fantasy of every guy!" Sirius called out.

Aww, great - now everyone was staring at me for sure.

"Sirius," I growled, glaring at him. "Shut - up."

"What?" Sirius went on, giving me an innocent smile. "There's nothing to be ashamed of, Susie! It's not like I would stand in your way to experiment with other girls, and--"

"Who's experimenting with other girls?" Remus asked, walking over with Val.

"Fuck," I muttered, burying my face in my hands.

"Ah, Moony!" Sirius said cheerfully, jumping form his seat. "We have the most amazing girlfriends ever, mate!"

"I know," Remus said slowly, looking from Sirius to me, and from me over to Val, who stood very still, and blushing. "And you realised this just now?"

"Well, yes!" Sirius spluttered, his eyes wide. "But you gotta hear this, mate, it's wonderful, and--"

"SIRIUS!" I called out, pulling him down. I pulled his head back by his hair, making him squeal. "If you want to be able to walk on your two gorgeous legs, I'd advice you to shut the fuck up right about... now!"

"Okay, okay, okay!" Sirius whimpered, squirming away form my grip. "Gosh, so violent...!" he complained, glaring at me.

"What's going on?" Remus asked, looking at us in confusion. "Sirius, what the hell?"

"Sirius, Susie," Val suddenly said, her voice shaky. "A word?"

"Awesome," Sirius said eagerly, but followed us towards the portrait hole. "We'll be right back, Moony!" he called over his shoulder, before Remus could react.

We left the Common Room quickly, and both Val and I checked that the corridor was empty, before cornering Sirius. "Listen, numbnuts," I growled, shoving Sirius' shoulder rudely. "I'll tell you this once, and once only, okay?"

Sirius nodded. "Sure, fine, whatever."

"Val and I kissed, yes," I siad quickly, ignoring the wince Val let out. "It was kinda nice, very different, awkward, not hot at all, and I really don't understand why you guys get all--"

"The point, Susan, the point," Val whispered loudly, and I saw her blushing again.

"Oh, sorry," I said sarcastically. "Am I embarrassing you with the awful truth? Well, I find nothing awkward in this, Val, I quite enjoy this situation!"

"Just... get along with it, okay?" Val mumbled.

"Anyway," I said, turning back to face Sirius. "You can't tell Remus. As much as it might surprise you, but I doubt Remus is the kind of man who would... appreciate to hear about his girlfriend kissing other girls. I mean, Remus is a gentleman, whereas you are--"

"Not?" Sirius finished, raising his eyebrows. "I can be a gentleman, you just ever let me!" he complained.

"This is not about you, Sirius," Val pleaded. "Please, please, please don't say a word, okay?"

Sirius glanced at Val, then at me, before the corner of his mouth twitched. "On one condition," he said, and I groaned, as I recognized the tone.

"What, Sirius?" I muttered.

"I want to see you two make out - just real quick!"

"Oh, gross!"

"Come on, Sirius!"

"UGH!" both Val and I said.

We glanced at each other, and I felt a shudder go through me.


"One little kiss, or I'll run right back in and tell Remus," Sirius said, wiggling his eyebrows.

"You are by far the most manipulative boyfriend ever," I said coolly. "Don't expect to get anything special for a while!"

"Susie," Val said, nudging me.

"What?" I snapped, turning to look at her.

"Remus can't find out," she said, and I saw the worry on her face.

I personally didn't see the big deal about this. I mean, sure, Remus wasn't Sirius, and probably wouldn't react like him, but still - it wasn't like she cheated on him, right?

"Right," I said, pursing my lips. "Just... real quick, yeah?"

"No offense," Val started, as I took a step closer. "But I'd rather kiss Remus than you."

I grinned, and shrugged. "Same."

I heard Sirius' gasp loudly, as I leaned closer to Val, closing my eyes tightly. I shut down my brain as our lips touched, and let my thoughts wander elsewhere, anywhere...

Sirius Black was so dead.

"Oh... my... God," Sirius whispered, and even with my eyes closed, I could tell he was bouncing with excitement.

I pulled slowly away from Val, opening my eyes as I did so. "Not as bad as last night," I said easily.

Val blushed, and looked away, probably totally mortified by the situation.

Huh. Who would've thought I'd be the one to corrupt Valerie Hudson?

"Not again!" I suddenly heard someone call out, and I spun around with wide eyes.

Peter Pettigrew was staring at the three of us with wide eyes, his entire face twisted in an amusing look of horror.

What was it with Peter Pettigrew and awkward situations like this?

But leave it to Sirius Black to make things even more awkward.

"Oh, Wormy, you know what? This is golden, man!"

~ (=^ . ^=) ~

A/N: AHHHH!!!! I'm SO sorry I didn't update! Sort of got held up in my honeymoon daze... I feel bad about that. Anyway, before you ask, yes, I had a golden time :D Missed my son, got excited over new story plots and ideas, seriously thought about running away with this pianist at a restaurant (OMG HE WAS SO HAWT LIKE JOHNNY DEPP AND EDWARD CULLEN HAD A BABY), AND shopped 'til I literally dropped. Yeah, I stumbled over my own shopping bags, and fell down some stairs - but French people (well, men) are so nice. My husband had to fight them away to get to me :D It was funny. I felt like a woman xD
- Lily xxx

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