You know what I miss the most about being a teenager? That feeling I got when I was with a new guy, and I knew he liked me, and I knew that something—whether it be a kiss, or just holding hands—was about to happen.
Well I got that feeling again when Hugo put his arm around me and brought me against his chest. It was like we were both aware that it wasn’t a usual position, but we were comfortable with it. That’s why I looked up at him, hoping that he—just like the teenage boys I used to date—would get the hint that we were supposed to kiss.
But he didn’t.
Instead he just smiled and asked me how the baby shower went. I sighed and told him about it. The whole time I couldn’t help thinking how hopeful I had been all weekend that when he got home, something would happen.
3 days before:
“So these are the centrepieces.” Lily says, lifting up a small vase with a beautiful arrangement in it. I smile.
“I like them.” I reply. Lily just gives me a look that says “I don’t really care if you like it or not, I’m still going to use it.”
“And then the favours are coming tomorrow, but they’re great.” Lily continues. She’s showing me everything for my baby shower—the day before. I’ve been wanting to ask her how it was going for about a month now, but she’s been so stressed with it and the wedding and work that I was a little afraid to.
Lily is an event planner. It’s the perfect job for her, seeing as she loves to party, and she’s good at budgeting and very creative.
“What are they?”
“They are little ceramic boxes, you know, the collectable ones, and they’re in the shape of little baby shoes.” Lily says. “They’re cute, Emily. Don’t be so judgemental.”
“Did I say—?” I ask confused but am interrupted by Lily.
“You gave me a look.” She snaps. I just roll my eyes. Lily’s been touchy lately.
“Well I didn’t mean anything.” I reply. She doesn’t relax as I expect her to, in fact, she looks much more frustrated than usually.
“Are you okay Lily?” I ask.
“Do I look upset?” She snaps again. Instead of answering honestly, I just don’t say anything. Lily hates opening up when she’s upset. She likes to hold it all in, and then she’ll just burst when it gets to be too much.
I try to think of what could be bothering her. She’s looking sweetly at one of my sonogram pictures that Hugo framed as a joke.
She’s pregnant. Why didn’t I think of it before?
Pregnancy will ruin her perfect wedding, it’s not like she can change the date at this point, and she’s going to be five months pregnant at the wedding so it’ll be obvious. And then she can’t wear her perfect dress, nor can she drink at the wedding—and Lily does love her drinks.
I have a feeling that she’s not going to tell me, so instead I offer her a drink.
“We’ve got everything,” I say. “water, butterbeer, even soda.”
“Soda?” she asks curiously.
“Yeah, its this muggle drink my brother introduced me to, its carbonated.”
“Does it have alcohol?” She asks, grabbing onto my bait.
“Er, no.” I say.
“I need something with alcohol, something strong. Do you have firewhiskey?” She says, he tone still angry. I nod and grab a bottle from the bar. Maybe she’s trying to kill the baby, without getting an abortion.
I still pour her the glass and look carefully at her.
“Lily,” I say, handing the drink to her. “Are you pregnant?”
She’s so shocked that she nearly spits the fire whiskey out of her mouth.
“Do I look pregnant?!” she screams.
“No!” I respond quickly. The last thing that needs to happen is for her to obsess over her weight.
“Well then why would you think I’m pregnant?!” she screeches. “I’m drinking a fire whiskey for Merlin’s sake!”
“I know, I just thought—“ There’s no point in telling her my abortion theory. “You just haven’t been acting yourself, and I remember I was irritable when I first found out—“
“I’m irritable!?!” She repeats. Shit, this isn’t the way I wanted it to go.
“Lily that’s not what I meant!” I try to explain. “I’m sorry.”
“What do you mean then?”
I sigh. “Lily, I know something is wrong. I know that you hate to open up, but I want to help you. I thought you were pregnant and you were upset about it, but clearly that’s not right.”
Lily looks at me distantly out the window. “I’m having second thoughts, about getting married.”
This was not what I was expecting.
“Why?!” I ask.
Lily keeps her eyes focused on anything but me, but I can tell she’s ready to cry.
“What if I’m just settling? I mean, yeah I’ve dated other blokes, but I never really gave them a chance because I was convinced I was in love with Frank. What if I’m not actually in love with him at all?”
“That’s ridiculous,” I say, and put my hand out for her to hold. She grabs onto it and the tears start falling. “Lily, your first instincts are always right, and that’s why you never gave up on him. You knew you were meant to be and because you loved him so much, that you didn’t mind waiting. even if it meant he dated other girls or you dated other guys. When have you ever fought, other than small bickering? Has there ever been a time where you didn’t trust him? No. You two the epitome of what a couple should be.”
Lily just sniffles and then giggles. “Well you and Hugo are a pretty perfect couple, too.”
“Hugo and I aren’t going out.” I reply, a little too quickly.
“Emily, your first instincts are always right,” she quotes. “That’s why you aren’t giving up on him. You know that you are meant to be, and because you love him so much—“
“I get the point your trying to make, but it’s not true.” I respond. “Because we aren’t meant to be, we’re both happy just being friends, because it’s much better than fighting like we did when we were teenagers.”
“There is a very fine line between friends and more than friends, especially for two people who share a child.” Lily says. “And Frank told me that Hugo told him what happened on New Years.”
“It was no big deal. He was drunk.” I respond sourly.
“I thought he got drunk because you were upset that he kissed you?”
“Well yes, but when he said—“ I stop mid sentence, I have a feeling that Hugo didn’t tell Frank that part.
“Nothing.” I respond quickly.
“No he definitely said something, what did he say?”
“Its not a big deal, don’t worry about it.” I say quietly.
“Emily, you better tell me—!”
“Hesaidhelovedme.” I interrupt. Lily just smiles.
“He said he loved you?” she repeats. I nod.
“Frank is going to die when he hears that!” is her only response.
“Great, glad to know I could provide some juicy gossip.” I say sarcastically.
“Well you hear stuff about our sex life; he gets to hear gossip about you and Sam.” Lily shrugs. “Anyway, what did he say in the morning?”
“That he was sorry that he was smashed.” I reply. “He didn’t even remember the ‘I love you’”. I try to hide the resentment in my voice but Lily hears it.
“Don’t worry, he’ll say it one day when he’s sober. Just remember: drunken words are sober thoughts.”
I laugh. When we were 15, Sam, Lily and I got very, very drunk. We didn’t know our limit at the time, and it resulted in a lot of confessions. The next morning, Sam and I kept mentioning to Lily that she admitted to liking Frank, and when she would deny it we would say, ‘drunken words are sober thoughts.’
“The real question is,” Lily continues. “How do you feel?”
I think about it for a few seconds. Should I tell her the truth?
“That this baby is a blessing.” I finally respond.
The next day, Hugo leaves with Frank and the rest of the boys to Majorca for Frank’s stag night. I had told Lily that we could have a hen night and go out, but she said that wouldn’t really be fair for me since I’m pregnant and I wouldn’t be able to have any fun. She said instead we asked if we could do a girls spa night in my flat.
Rose, Sam, Kennley, Caroline, and Natalie had been invited. I had found some books that I bought when I was 14 that had spells such as letting the paint paints your nails. I had set up different stations for each of us, and they included facials, manicures and pedicures, as well as a massage section (again another spell). Then I bought silk bathrobes for everyone and a pair of slippers.
There is a knock at the door around 7:00 and I open it to find Rose, my first guest.
“Hello Rose!” I say sweetly. “The party doesn’t start until 8:00 but—“
“I needed to come early.” She says sternly and walks straight through the door. “I have a secret to tell you, and you can’t tell anyone. I haven’t even told my parents.”
I nod and she pulls a bottle of grape juice from her purse. I look at it, trying to figure out her secret but she tells me within seconds.
“That’s wonderful!” I say happily. “Wow, your parents are going to be so happy,”
“I don’t want anyone to know for the time being, so I’ll be drinking this grape juice masked as red wine tonight, understood?” she says ignoring my comment. I nod and smile.
“Congratulations Rose! Is Scorpius excited?”
“We’re both pretty nervous to be honest.” She responds. “I mean, I never wanted kids, and Scorpius knew that when we got married, so I think it’s a real shock.”
“Why didn’t you want kids?” I ask.
“I dunno,” she says. “I’ve always loved my job, and I thought of it as my baby. I was happy just being with Scorpius, but now I’m seeing Kennley with kids, and it just makes me want one of my own.
“And you really made me change my mind. You had to quit your job, and you don’t have a husband, and you’re just so strong. I figured I could do it, too.”
“You can!” I say happily, disregarding her comment about the ‘no husband’. I don’t need a husband thank you very much.
“Well now that I’m actually pregnant, I’m not sure if I can do it. Today I was trying to calculate the cost of childcare, and I was trying to see if it’s worth it to go back to work. And then what am I going to do when I have to go to the bathroom, or shower?”
“Rose,” I say calmly. “There’s no point in freaking out. You have nine months to prepare. Now you’re freaking me out, because I only have three months until my due date and I can’t exactly handle stress now. Its not good for you either.”
“But there is so much to think about! I’m not ready to be a mother Emily, I’m just not ready!”
“And you think I am?” I snap back. That shuts her up and I continue more calmly. “Listen Rose, it could be much worse. You could have gotten pregnant at sixteen when your family still hated the Malfoys. Instead, your parents fell in love with Scorpius, then you got married, and then you got pregnant. You have money, you have a dotting family, you have nothing to worry about.”
“You’re right.” She replies. “How did Hugo get so lucky with you?”
“He doesn’t seem to see it like that.” I mutter without thinking.
“Emily, my brother is so in love with you its upsetting.”
I just laugh. “Your brother is just really excited about the baby. So he loves that I’m carrying it, but he’s in love with our child, not me.”
“You are sadly mistaken, Ms. Osbourne. My brother adores the ground you walk on.”
“You can tell yourself it’s because of the baby. But he’s scared shitless for it. The only reason why he hasn’t really broken down though is because he has you.”
“Has he told you this?” I ask.
“He doesn’t have to tell me that, Emily. I can just tell.” Rose replies.
Our conversation is interrupted by Lily bursting through the door. Her bright red hair was in a tangled mess, as if she had just woken up. Perched on the top of her head is a little tiara. She’s in a pair of loose jeans with a long sleeved white blouse—the most casual I’ve seen her in a long time. She’s laughing hysterically and behind her I see a frustrated Sam.
While Lily tramples in the room, Sam just follows her in and comes to me and Rose.
“She’s totally wasted,” She whispers to us.
“What did you do to her?” Rose jokes.
“Nothing!” Sam argues. “I went to her flat half an hour ago and she said she wanted to ‘pre-game’ like what we used to do before Quidditch matches.”
“We never pre-gamed.” I say. “Lily couldn’tpre-game because she was on the team. What is she even talking about?”
“She had already had a few drinks when I got there. She’s—“
“Emily!” Lily shouts. “Where is the champagne? I want champagne?!”
“Should I let her have it?” I ask Rose and Sam. Sam shakes her head at the same time Rose nods.
“Let’s have a laugh,” Rose shrugs, taking a sip of her “red wine”. Sam looks at her drink enviously.
“Do you want a drink?” I ask.
Sam nods. “The strongest thing you have.”
Within the next fifteen minutes, Caroline, Kennley, and Natalie come. After they get their drinks, we all change into the robes and sit down, each of us placing a spell on the foot bath in order to start our pedicures.
Next to me I have Lily on my left and Rose on my right. Sam, Natalie, Caroline, and Kennley sit facing us so we can all talk.
“So how far along are you?” Kennley asks me as we relax in our seats.
“I have 13 weeks left,” I tell her.
“That was the best part of the pregnancy for me,” She says. “Al was so worried that I was going to go into labour any minute so he just kept pampering me. He would fluff my pillows, give me massages, even paint my toes.”
I laugh. “Hugo’s not like that at all. I don’t think it’s really hit him yet that we’re going to have a baby.” I say, knowing that I sound vaguely like his wife.
“Do you know the sex?” Caroline asks.
“No,” I say. “But I’m pretty sure it’s a boy.”
“I had that feeling too,” Caroline. “I knew every single one of my girls was going to be a girl.”
“Where are my beautiful nieces tonight?” Lily shouts from across the room.
“With your father,” Caroline says.
“You should have brought them!” Lily whines. “It would have been fun.”
Caroline mutters something under her breath. “Well I figured since it was a hen night, it might be more fun to pretend that I’m not married with three kids.”
“No, no.” Lily mumbles, before focusing her attention on something else.
I look over and see Natalie giggle. She is tipsy as well. She and Sam are deep in conversation and I only hear small snippets.
“Well when I was in Australia, I did anything for money,” Natalie is saying.
“Merlin, Natalie.” I say a little embarrassed by my sister’s actions. She’s always been the crazy one of our family, always free spirited and open to everything.
“Don’t you ever get frustrated?” Rose asks me. “Everyone else is drunk but you, don’t you get annoyed.”
I laugh. “You get used to it. It usually isn’t so much of a problem.”
“It is when your part of the Weasley clan.” She responds. “But I’m sure you realize that now. We do like our drinks.”
“Well then I’ll fit right in once I can drink again.” I joke.
Rose gives me a maternal look, “You already do.” She says.
“Emily,” Lily groans after everyone says their goodbyes. “Can I sleep over?” I look over at her lying on my sofa. She had a glass of champagne in one hand and a whip in the other. On top of her is an excessive pile of lingerie, in all different colours. The tiara has fallen from her head and is on the floor, and she looks exhausted.
She shouldn’t have to go home to an empty house, especially after so many drinks, so I tell her that she can stay.
She stands up, letting everything fall on the floor and stretches her arms out. She clumsily trips over the clothes and walks crookedly into my room, stripping as she goes.
“Thanks for the wonderful party, Em!” she calls out from my room, as I stay in the kitchen and clean up the mess everyone has left.
“Your Welcome, Lily.” I call back. Once I’m done I go back into my room where she is lying on my bed, with a big shirt of mine and nothing else.
“You and Hugo should get married,” she says dreamily while she stares up at the ceiling.
“We aren’t even dating, Lily.” I tell her, while getting into my own big t-shirt.
“Yeah right,” she snorts. “You’re pregnant with his kid.”
“That was a mistake though,” I say. At that point she tries to sit up.
“You keep saying that, but I think it was the best thing to happen to you.” She mutters.
“Yeah, back cramps, swollen feet, disgusting cravings, it’s the time of my life,” I joke, lying down on the bed.
Lily however, has already fallen asleep.
I wake up to the sound of throwing up. I get up slowly and walk over to the kitchen, where I know Hugo keeps hangover potion. I grab it and then bring it to Lily, who is on her knees next to the toilet. She accepts it with a smile and takes a quick sip.
“That’s disgusting,” she says and after a few seconds her expression changes. “It definitely works though. What time is it?”
I look down at my watch. “9:03”
Lily gets up and smiles. “That was a great party last night.”
I snort. “Do you even remember it?” I ask.
A few hours later I’m sitting Ginny Potter’s sofa with my feet up while I open gifts. The most recent one was a receiving blanket from Ginger, a friend of mine from work.
“All of the celebrities are using it!” she screams. Kennley snorts. She was actually photographed for a tabloid using this exact blanket with one of her boys and the tabloid put where customers could buy it. There is no doubt Ginger saw it.
“Its beautiful, thanks Ging.” I say and put it in the pile next to Sam, who is writing everything down. “What’s next?”
“I’ll get it!” Lily says, jumping up and running into the kitchen. “Drum-roll please!” She shouts back. We all obey and then she walks out with a gorgeous stroller—the bug-a-boo.
“It’s the one I wanted!” I shout happily.
A few weeks ago, I was shopping with Lily and Sam in muggle London when we saw it at a baby store. I told them that I wanted it, but it was very expensive, so its shocking that either of them would get it.
I look at them both accusingly, trying to tell them that I couldn’t believe they would spend so much money on me, but Lily just pushes it closer so I can see that there is a not in it.
I lift the envelope and open it while everyone watches me.
To my wonderful daughter. I know you’ll be a terrific mother. I’m sorry for everything.
If I wasn’t seven months pregnant I probably would have scoffed at the note and said she was trying to bribe me. But because I am seven months pregnant, I burst out in tears.
Hermione, who is sitting next to me, puts her arm around me and I fold into her embrace. She rubs my back maternally and makes a soft “shh” noise into my ear.
After a few minutes of everyone looking at me crying without knowing about what, I get up from Hermione’s arms and smile.
“Thank you,” I tell her. She smiles back and we continue opening presents as if nothing happens.
Once all the guests are gone, I sit on the sofa while Ginny, Lily, Hermione and Rose clean up the mess we’ve made.
Hermione comes to pick up the wrapping paper.
“Did you enjoy yourself?”She asks. She’s been such an influence during this entire pregnancy. I smile and nod.
“I have to go,” I mutter though. Hermione seems to understand.
“I’ll tell everyone, you just go do what you need to do.” She says.
I go to the fireplace and grab some floo powder. I get in and shout my home address.
I look around the room, it feels like I haven’t been here forever, even though its just been a month. I walk slowly into the kitchen, and there my mum is. She looks up from the soup she’s making and I stop and just stare at her.
“Did you get your gift?” She asks coldly.
“I came to say thank you” I respond with the same coldness. She just raises her eyebrows. “And that I’m sorry.” I continue, while my eyes get teary. She notices and rushes over to me.
She wraps me in a hug and start stroking my hair.
“I should be the one apologizing,” she says. “I was so awful to you. I am so sorry.” By this point I’m bawling.
“I want you to be in the baby’s life,” I sob into her shoulder.
“I do, too.”
“And I need you to accept that Hugo’s the father.” I finally look at her. “I’m not looking for anyone right now, so please don’t try setting me up.”
“Hugo and I are living together.” I tell her. “We aren’t going out, but we are roommates.”
“I know.” She says. “Natalie and I didn’t actually get into a fight; I just wanted you to have someone with you from the family. She told me you moved out to live with him.”
“Are you okay with that?” I ask. She examines me for a few seconds.
“You really like him, don’t you?” she says.
I’m reading a maternity book when he comes home.
“How was the weekend?” I ask, as he sits on the sofa. “How were the girls?” I say, trying to sound as casual as possible, even though I’m dying for him to say no.
He laughs a little and smile, “There were no girls, and the weekend was good. But right now, I just want to spend time with you.” I smile back, and inside my heart starts pounding faster than usual.
He puts his arm around me, and I could swear we were going to kiss, so I move closer to him.
But nothing happens.
A/N: I know its like, the worst chapter ever. But still please review! Even if its to say it was the worst chapter ever.