Lily dragged her feet as she made her way down the corridor. Her head had been so mussed up lately; she didn’t know what to think half the time. One minute she was crying over the end of her and Sirius. The next she was fucking Lucius Malfoy in a spare classroom in the middle of the night. On top of it all, she was lying to the people she loved the most. Tears welled up in her green eyes as she remembered it all.
“I just cant deal with this…” she silently cried to herself. Lily dried her eyes on the back of her sleeve as she continued walking. She could just see the entrance to the library at the end of the hall. She immediately averted her gaze to the ground when she heard someone traveling towards her. Better not let anyone see her crying, the last thing she needed was more humiliation. She had almost made it to her sanctuary when the familiar voice of Sirius Black called her name.
“Lily, we need to talk…now.” He stated bluntly and angrily.
She glanced up at him and noticed the fury in his gaze. ‘He must have heard everyone talking.’ She thought to herself. But why should it bother him? After all, was he not the one who just yesterday broke up with her without a proper excuse?
“What about Black?” She inquired with as much venom as she could pack into the short sentence.
“Oh, lets see…maybe the fact that you went off and fucked Malfoy last night!” He paused and glared at her to gauge her reaction, when none came he continued. “Well?! Are you even going to bother explaining yourself?” he exclaimed exasperated.
With that Lily made eye contact with her ex for the first time since he had broken her heart. She could see the pain in his eyes, and that only made it that much more difficult for her. Why was this bothering him so much? What didn’t this prat understand about the fact that he broke up with her? She focused every emotion she had felt in the last twenty-four hours into what she said next.
“Who I do or do not sleep with is no concern of yours Black. You left me, I don’t know why, but that’s what happened.” She waited a moment to regain her composure before continuing. “I don’t know where you get off questioning me…but you’d do well to mind your own business.”
“Lily…you don’t understand-,” Sirius tried to speak but she cut him off.
“Your right, I don’t understand. Nor do I want to.” A single tear rolled down her cheek as she said this. “Sirius, stay away from me. I don’t want to see you anymore.”
“Lily! You have to talk to me, this isn’t fair!” He pleaded with her as she turned her back and continued walking towards the library.
“You should have thought of that Black,” was all she said before closing the large wooden doors of the library behind her.
Sirius Black collapsed in a heap in the middle of the corridor, crying silently to himself. His heart ached. He had never meant for any of this to happen. He never wanted to leave her. The boy had hoped to explain to her why they couldn’t be together for the time being. He had never expected his sweet Lily to be so cold to him.
Once settled at a small table in the far back corner of the library, Lily rested her head on her folded arms on the table. Never in a million years would she have dreamed of speaking to Sirius the way she had. She loved him so dearly, but he had hurt her so much. Revenge was not her intention, but it seemed to ease the emptiness she felt. She straightened up in her chair and looked around the deserted library, no wonder she chose this place for her haven. She slowly walked to the nearest shelf and grabbed a large book with small writing. This should occupy her while she mulled over her other problems. She had nearly forgotten her invitation to meet Lucius tonight. Why couldn’t things be less complicated?
She did enjoy herself with him. He was in every way an exceptional lover. Her body craved for his sensual touch again. But was it worth losing her self respect? Her dignity? Surely none of her friends would approve of her meeting a slytherin for casual shag now and again. But did she really care? What would they all say when they found out how she had treated Sirius? Stop. Right. There.
“This is about me,” Lily whispered to herself firmly, “no one can tell me what is right for me.” Just as she’d come to her decision, she heard the voices of her two closest friends calling out to her.
“Lily!” both Skye and Kara exclaimed at once. The two girls rush to the table and sat on either side of their friend. They each took turns hugging her and fussing about her disappearing without letting anyone know where she was.
“How did you know where I was?” Lily asked calmly.
Skye and Kara exchanged a look before Kara said, “Well, Sirius ran up to his dormitory in tears, so naturally James followed.”
“Then when James came back down to the common room, he told us about your encounter with him and where we could find you,” Skye finished sounding as depressed as Lily should have felt.
“James and Remus wanted to come with us to check on you,” Kara interjected quickly, “but we convinced them to stay and comfort Sirius.”
This opened a new thought to Lily. What would James say? He was Sirius’ best mate, surely he would take his side in this. Seeming to read the thought right off Lily’s face Skye informed her, “James wasn’t upset with you…he was more worried than anything to be honest. We all were.”
This calmed Lily. So at least her spat with Sirius wouldn’t get in the way of her relationship with her friends. But what about that last decision she had to make. After convincing her friends that she was in a right state of mind and thanking them for checking on her, Lily had come to her conclusion. Upon looking at the clock and seeing that it was going on half past nine, she rose from her seat and hugged both the girls before striding pointedly toward the door.
“Where are you going honey?” Skye called out to her while Kara’s face mirrored the question.
A small smile crept across Lily’s face as she tossed her hair over her shoulder and said, “I have an engagement that I have to see to.” With that, she left the two girls dumbfounded in the library as she exited the library and headed toward the dungeons.
AN: So I know this story seemed to have been abandoned, but due to recent traumatic events in my life, I've decided to take writing back up. I know it was unfair to anyone who used to loyally read this story, and I would just like to say I am sorry. I intend on at least finishing this story and if all goes well I'll work on Transition next. I reread this story and decided to write this chapter all in the same night. If its not perfect...bear with me. It's now 2:30 in the morning. I wanted to get this bit up for now, but I have every intention of writing the next chapter over the next few days while this one is waiting to be validated. As always, I would like to thank anyone who reads this. If you choose to review, criticism is welcomed as long as it is constructive.
much love
-olivia
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