Chapter 5 : Sadness and Sleepovers
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Our family suffered a loss on July 12. Mum lost the baby at 13 weeks. The healer told us that it had been a little girl. Before she was buried, Mum and Dad named her Eileen Katherine Snape.
Mum became depressed and Dad didn't talk much at all. Mum is still trying to get over it. In total, it has been 13 days since she miscarried.
I've been so bored.Dad now makes food for the family. Mum just sits around. Dad told Harry and I that she'll get over it. Mum had lost another baby before me. They didn't know if they could ever have another child, and then I came along.
Lucy called me on July 25 and asked me to come over to have a sleepover. I asked Dad and he said yes. I called her back (we had a phone, plus other Muggle objects, because Mum was a Muggleborn) and told her that I could come.
I went over to Lucy's at five o'clock at night. Dad insisted on walking me over to her house just to "make sure I was alright." I'm guessing that he didn't want another child of his killed or something.
Lucy and I ate dinner at seven. We had pizza, breadsticks, and ice cream. We got extremely hyper and then we watched a movie.
Lucy's parents went to bed at eleven-thirty. They told us to be quiet so that we would wake up the whole house and neighborhood.
We sat up and talked until two. We swapped secrets. I told her about my crush and she told me that she liked one of her older brother's best friend. We got bored and decided to watch a movie. We finally fell asleep at four-thirty, when the end credits for the movie were still rolling.
I awoke to my dad shaking my shoulder. I rolled over and looked at him sleepily. He gave me a small smile.
"What time is it?" I yawned.
"Seven-thirty," he answered. He started gathering up my stuff. Lucy's dad was trying to wake her up on the other couch.
"It's to early," I whined. I flopped back onto the couch and stared as my dad finished gathering up my stuff.
"Come on, we have to go," he said gruffly.
"I'm tired," I whined again.
"Stop whining and get up," he said and I stubbornly stayed where I was.
"I'm not going to carry you. Come on," he repeated. He was starting to get angry.
We arrived home after Dad threatened to ground me if I didn't go home with him. He thanked Lucy's parents for putting up with me (I glared at him for that) and feeding me.
I sat down at the table. I was still in my pajamas. Dad started making breakfast. Harry stumbled down the stairs a few minutes later.
"You know, if you're going to be so tired when you come home for sleepovers, you shouldn't go to them," Dad said.
"So?" I said and Dad gave a look.
"What time did you go to bed?" Harry asked.
"Around four-thirty. We watched a movie," I replied.
"Why didn't you go to bed at a normal hour?" Dad asked.
"Because it was a sleepover and you don''t got to bed at a normal hour during one," I snapped. I was getting angry because I wanted to go sleep.
"Don't you use that tone of voice with me, Emma Marie," Dad warned, turning around to glare at me. I stood up and started walking upstairs.
"Where are you going?" Dad asked.
"To bed. I'm extremely tired," I snapped.
"No, sit down. You can suffer the consequences of not sleeping," he said.
"No!" I yelled angrily. Dad spun around, glaring. I flinched.
"Emma, don't you dare wake your mother," he practically hissed. "She needs her sleep, and you know that."
"Like I care," I muttered.
"What did you just say?" Dad asked. He came to stand in front of me.
"I said, 'like I care,' " I repeated defiantly.
"Oh really?" Dad asked in a soft whisper. I saw him struggling to control his temper.
"Yeah, and you know what? I'm so sick and tired of you guys not caring about anything anymore. I'm so tired of Mum just sitting around, doing nothing!" I screamed, not even bothering to keep my voice from waking Mum.
There was a shocked silence. Harry sat there, watching us like some weird ping-pong match.
"Emma Marie Snape, your mother lost a baby," Dad said, anger thick in his voice. I could detect a hint of sadness.
"Yeah? Still, I'm so sick of everyone walking on pins and needles!" I yelled. Dad's face turned thunderous.
"No more sleepovers for a month. If your going to be so sick of everything, then you can be punished," he said. "Your mother lost a baby. Shouldn't you care? Aren't you at least sad that you lost a little sister?"
"Yeah, but that doesn't give her a reason to be so
upset!" I screamed.
"You're just a monster, to not care about your own mother," Dad said.
"Oh really? Your father beat you and your mum, and you never did anything! Didn't you care about your mother?" I screamed, trying not to cry. The comment from him had struck a nerve. It was harsh coming from him.
"My father was a drunk, a lowlife. He had no reason to beat us. I couldn't stand up for my mother, she would have been killed. He always followed through with his threats," Dad hissed.
"I'm not the monster!" I yelled, my voice hoarse. "You are! You could have stood up for her, she was your mum. I hate you! You're father isn't the monster, it's you. She died because you couldn't save her!"
I was over his knee so fast that I didn't have time to react. I felt a stinging smack on my bottom. Five more smacks later, it was over. He stood me up in front of him. I looked at him, eyes filled with tears, shocked.
"Go to your room," he spit out. "Now, before I do something I'll regret later."
I hurried upstairs. I heard Dad slamming around the kitchen. Harry came upstairs and went into his bedroom.
I ran into Mum on my way to my room. She looked tired and she was still in her pajamas. She gave me a disappointed look.
"You never should have said those things," she said softly.
"Like I don't know that," I snapped. She looked even sadder and I felt guilty.
"Did he spank you?" she asked.
"Yes." I said, rubbing my bottom. "Can you talk to him about spanking us?"
"You deserved it, Emma.What you said was completely unacceptable," she said disapprovingly. "Yes, he shouldn't of spanked you when he was so angry, but you still deserved it. Now, go to your room."
I stalked into my room and slammed the door. I went over to my closet and yanked open the door. I grabbed the duffel bag that was lying on the floor.
I started throwing clothes into the bag. I grabbed some things that mattered to me. I didn't notice when the door opened. Harry walked in, shut the door, and sat on my bed.
"What are you doing?" he asked calmly.
"Running away. What does it look like?" I sneered. I zipped the duffel bag shut and started looking for something I might need.
"Don't go," he begged softly.
"Why shouldn't I? I don't deserve to live here. I never do anything right. I always make Dad angry and Mum sad," I said as I sat down on my bed next to him.
"You're wrong. They wouldn't want you to go," he stated.
"Oh really? Mum just basically implied that I was a disappointment!" I said angrily.
"No, she didn't. She said was that she didn't approve of what you said to Dad," he corrected. I got up and started pacing around the room. Harry watched me.
"Give me one reason I shouldn't go," I said suddenly. Harry looked at me and thought for a while.
"Because they love you," he said finally. I stopped and looked at him. I snorted.
"They don't love me," I said. "I'm just a disappointment. Dad called me a monster."
"Yes, they do. They'd be so worried if you just disappeared. Think, if something happened to you, Mum would be so sad. Don't do this to her," he begged. "Please."
"No," I said. "I'm going to leave as soon as it's dark. Don't you dare tell anyone."
"They love you, Em," Harry said. "They never would of had you if they didn't love you."
"People have had kids and didn't want them. Or, they just don't care what happens to their kid," I told him.
"Mum and Dad do love you. They wouldn't want you to go just because you got into a big row with Dad," Harry said. "They'd be heartbroken. Don't make them lose another child."
His words made me think for a while. If I left and something happened to me, they'd lose another child. I wouldn't want something like that to happen.
Harry stood up. He looked at me for a while. He gave me a hug.
"Don't go," he whispered in my ear. He walked out of the room and closed the door softly. I walked to my bed and threw the duffel bag back into the closet. I would unpack it later.
I laid down on my bed and cried myself to sleep. It had been an emotional roller-coaster ride so far and it wasn't even noon yet. My life was insane sometimes but I'd just have to deal.
That was probably the longest chapter I've written so far. Snapegirl is amazing because she is my inspiration and advice-giver. You should go check out her stories, they're amazing.
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