Chapter 11 : Epolouge-Limitations
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impose if you feel the need to clean out her desk; take down her artwork from therefrigerator; turn over a portrait as you pass-if only because it cuts you fresh again to see it.
That’s it is okay to measure the time she has been gone, the way we once measured her birthday.
“ It’s been six months tomorrow.” Hermione said.
“ I know.” Ron snapped, “ I don’t need reminding.”
“ Just saying.” Hermione murmured, she was stupid to have mentioned it, nobody in the Weasley home talked about Harry or Ginny much the past six months, normally bringing them up just brought on a fresh wave of tears from Mrs. Weasley, or Mr. Weasley suddenly needing to leave the room. Ron and his brothers weren’t to keen on the subject either; they normally hastily changed the subject. Hermione heard Ron cry in the middle of the night just like Harry used to do, she didn’t dare mention this to him, she just turned over and tried to get back to sleep. It didn’t help that when Harry and Ginny died the family was still just getting over Fred’s death.
“ I’m sorry, Mione,” Ron said, rapping his arms around her, “ I shouldn’t have snapped, but it’s been hard, you know.”
“ I know.” Hermione whispered. “ Do you realize nobody has set foot in either of their rooms since they died?”
“ I thought about that.” Admitted Ron, “ It wouldn’t feel right, you know, being in their rooms without them.”
“ We really should clean them out,” Hermione said.
“ No.” Ron said harshly.
“ Why not?” Hermione asked slightly indignantly.
“ Its…they’re…we don’t belong in there.” He told her. “ It wouldn’t be right, we don’t need to clean them out, they don’t need to be cleaned out, it wouldn’t be…it’d be like…”
“ Like accepting that they’re not coming back?” Hermione finished, “ Accepting, that they’d dead?”
“ It’d just feel wrong going up there, almost like the rooms were having affairs.” Ron said, “ Plus by cleaning them out, getting rid of their stuff, it’s be like dishonoring their memories, I couldn’t go up to Ginny’s room and chuck out her stuff, or go up to Harry’s and make it look like he never lived there.”
“ They aren’t coming back,” Hermione said gently, “ we might as well get over that, and keeping their rooms exactly the way they left them won’t change that.”
“ But…” Ron started.
“ Listen, if it’s to much for you to handle, I can do it by myself, or have Angelina or Aurbry or Luna help me, but it might be good for you, therapeutic even.”
Ron scoffed; tears flooded his eyes, though Hermione knew he was trying to hide them from her. “ What’s therapeutic about chucking out my dead sister’s and best friend’s stuff out?”
“ We’re not chucking it out!” Hermione insisted, “ but we should at least move it out of the way.”
“ Call it whatever you want but you’re still mocking them by doing it.”
“ Excuse me?” Hermione said angrily. “ You think I’m mocking them? You think I don’t feel guilty everyday for what happened? You think I forget for just one second that it’s my fault Ginny died? Or that I should have done a better job protecting her? Do you think I miss Harry any less just because he killed himself? No! I feel every bit of remorse that you do! I go over those nights in my head again and again, trying to find away I could have prevented it, but know even if I find a way it’s to late.” She was crying now, trying to shield her face from Ron’s sight but he walked over and put his arm around her.
“ I’m sorry, Mione, I didn’t mean to upset you.” He said, “ I was tactless.”
“ Yes you were!” Hermione snapped, wiping her eyes with her jumper.
“ It’s just, the last conversation I had with Harry was an argument, and I can’t even remember what was the last thing I said to Ginny.”
“ But hiding from the fact they’re dead won’t bring them back,” Hermione pointed out, “ and don’t…don’t put to much thought on the fact the last time you and Harry talked was a fight, he wouldn’t have held that against you.”
“ But what if I pushed him,” Ron sighed, “ I told him he had to come home, maybe that was the final straw.”
“ No.” Hermione said, “ Ron, listen to me, there was so much more to it then just him avoiding coming home, you can’t blame yourself.”
“ Then you can’t blame yourself for Ginny dying.” Ron countered.
“ Fine.” Hermione said. “ But we really should clean out the upstairs.”
“ I don’t think I can face that alone.” Ron murmured.
“ You don’t have to.” Whispered Hermione, “ You’ll have me, we can face it together.”
“ Alright.” Ron sighed, taking Hermione’s hand, together they walked up the stairs first to Harry’s room, then Ginny’s. They spent all day not only cleaning and packing up, but going through the stuff in there, looking through books and photos, remembering what they did, at one point Hermione found a picture in Ginny’s room of Harry when Lockheart vanished all the bones in Harry’s arm their second year. Both Ron and Hermione had a good laugh at that, in fact a lot of the things they found made them laugh, or smile remembering the days, happier days. Hermione felt guilty at first, laughing at memories when Harry and Ginny will never be able to again, but then she thought that Harry and Ginny would want her to be happy, her and Ron, because that’s just the kind of people they were.
“ Look at this,” Ron said with a snort of laugher. He handed Hermione a picture of Ginny in her Gryffindor Quidditch robes, on her broomstick, apparently doing an impersonation of somebody getting hit on the head and falling of their broom. “ That was after McLaggen knocked Harry off his broom, Ginny thought it was hilarious.”
“ Leave it to Ginny.” Hermione said smiling.
By the time they finished packing up the stuff they stacked the boxes neatly in a corner of Ginny’s room.
Hermione looked around the clean empty room, it looked lonely now, Hermione tried to open a window but it stubbornly stuck in place. “ It’s almost like the room itself is missing them, too.”
“ Yeah.” Ron said, “ It looks so strange now.”
“ Tell me about it.” Said Hermione, “ Ron can I ask you something?”
“ Do you think things will ever go back to normal?”
Ron looked off apparently deep in thought then he turned back to Hermione and looked her straight in the eyes, “ No, no I know it never will, but a time comes when you have to give up your definition of normal and make a new one, you just have to adjust to a new kind of normal and learn to cope with it.” Hermione nodded taking in what he said, she didn’t like the new normal, the normal without Ginny and Harry, but she figured he was right, she could cope, and she would, she knew that with Ron at her side she could and would keep fighting. That’s what Harry would’ve wanted, that’s what Ginny would’ve wanted, and that’s what she was expected to do. She would keep her friends in her heart forever, but she would fight for a world better then the one they left, a normal that nobody had to live in fear. Though Harry and Ginny where taken away through a cruel twist of fate Hermione and Ron would live on, carry their memories.
“ Will you be with me? No matter what?” Hermione asked a tear tracing the well-worn path down her cheek.
“ No matter what.” Ron promised.
Hermione closed her eyes and took a breath; she whispered to herself, barely auditable, a single word, “ Hallelujah.”
Authors note. First of all the opening quote belongs to Jodi Picoult author of My Sister’s Keeper I take no credit for it, I’m just a fan (though they should’ve put that in the movie, but they couldn’t cause they totally changed the ending, ug, so mad!). I’m not all together satisfied with this chapter, it defiantly not how I intended to end the story, I may still change it, the idea just kind of came to me 0.o tell me what you think, I hope you liked the story and please leave your thoughts, I know a lot of people are still mad about the last chapter, but again I just read Romeo and Juilet so give me a break, I hope this chapter gave you some more closure, and remember this is au so if you don’t like it just erase it from your mind and read something with rainbows and butterflies, that’s what I do, after I right or read a sad hp au I go back and read the epolouge of the dh and read ‘all was well’ then I get happy. Anyways apart from my ramble please review even if you didn’t like it, tell me what you thought. I don't think I got Ron's personality right, Hermione was easier, I don't know, you tell me
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