Crazily, not wanting to know about my parents’ sex life, (which runs daily in the kitchen over breakfast at six-thirty each morning with snogging and groping included) made me sort of think dad doesn'twanttoknow. It's like, one of them things – if a tree falls in the woods does it really happen if no one sees it?
Translation: If I had sex does it really happen if no one knew about it?
I got some potion that is called something-orphin. It tasted gross but at least I won’t get awful debilitating cramps any more.
Dad and I had come to some kind of unspoken truce. I got the potion as long as its purpose was disguised. So I was happy to agree with the awful debilitating cramps.
Since I was still grounded and had absolutely meant what I said - I was not cleaning up any more - I was bored. I had done all my homework and now was left with the last precious week of my dismally dull summer. Thanks dad. Dad seemed to take it upon himself to entertain me because apparently my brooding annoyedhim. This was somewhat ironic since his attempts to enthrall me, annoyedme. I also took to reminding him that if he just dissolved my grounding then I wouldn't need his company. This point got me no where.
So to try to keep me occupied we played exploding snap, chess, go-fish, borrowed Aunt Hermione's Monopoly board game (neither of us really knew how to play it so we gave up, and we both wanted to be the thimble because of its complete randomness – it caused a minor argument) and he attempted to try to get me to repaint the garden bench. I refused. I found these activities more frustrating than doing nothing. But I tried to play nice.
When he gave up and started leaving me alone, I realised that maybe, just perhaps, the childish games had helped to pass time. So I went looking. Oddly, he wasn't in his study, instead he was in the garden shed.
“What are you doing?”
He was covered in black slimy stuff – grease. Him and that bloodybike. I decided to help.
I'd been watching him try to put this thingy into another whatsit for about two minutes. Now I had no idea what either of the thingies were called or what they were for but I had been reading the instructions out to him from the book and had also, quite specifically, instructed him to put it in the other way.
“It won’t go in!” He exclaimed.
“It's upside down dad. I told you but you didn't listen.”
He flipped the thingy upside down and it slid into the other whatsit easily.
“Ahhh.” he said in amazement.
“You know dad you’re turning into Grandpa Weasley. Except instead of plugs it's this bike. Is it ever going to be finished?”
He laughed at me and started reading the book over my shoulder while mumbling the instructions to himself.
“It works thank you very much. I'm just modifying it. Don't tell your mother.” He added to the end quickly. He rubbed the back of his hand over his forehead. I didn't see it necessary to point out he'd just smudged grease all over his face. “And I'll have you know that you’re turning out to be just like your mother but hey, each to their own.”
“Ah I resent that.” I joked.
“We'll its true. You’re too much like her.” He said absent mindedly.
I wiggled my eyebrows at him.
I shook my head. He rose as grease smudged brow at me. “Mum said you thought that. She'd be happy to know she was right.”
“Ahh” He said again. “Then you know you're too stubborn, talk too much and are too popular for your own good?”
“I'm sure mum would want to know that too. All of it. Including the 'talk to much' bit. I bet she'd be thrilled.”
“Ahh, don't tell her I said that.”
I couldn't help but laugh at dad. He was famous for digging himself holes...
The bike did work. Who'd have guessed? James had always said “It was Sirius' bike and as my middle name is Sirius, I have greater rights over it than you. So don't touch.” Albus had then purposely touched it with his index finger to just to annoy James and said something like “What are you going to do about it?” James broke Albus' nose and consequently none of us had been allowed near it after that. So when dad asked me if I wanted to go for a ride I jumped at the opportunity. One, to get out of the house and two, to tell James I had been on it. He'd hate that. Neither of the boys had gone on it. Envy!!!!
And when I say jumped at the opportunity I really meant, I was shit scared of it.
“Dad. I'm not going to die on this am I?”
That was probably a bad idea to express that I was so freaking out. Dad decided to go a bit faster and turn the corners even sharper. I kept thinking that any decent father would have slowed down and ridden in a safer fashion. Through my helmet I could hear him laughing. Maniac. So I just held on tighter and buried the face of my helmet into his back a bit more. I didn't care if it dug in and hurt him. What an arse.
When we got home I got off that bike so fast and pointed my finger at him accusingly. I didn't look very intimidating since I had been on the bike for a while and the vibrations had made my legs a bit weak and I think I was swaying.
“You're. Crazy... Never. Again.” I spurted.
“Aw common. I wouldn't let you die a virgin would I?”
He started laughing himself stupid. If looks could kill... Harry Potter would have died right then and there.
After tossing the helmet somewhere, not really sure on the direction, I stormed off towards the house. How did my invisible non-existent love life go from taboo to a joke exactly? When I got inside mum tried to stop me from storming passed her.
“What's wrong Lily?” but before I could reply dad walked in behind me and mum looked up at him. “What did you do?”
BIG FAT LIAR. I spun and glared at him.
“Really?” Clearly mum did not believe him. Good. “Lily?” She turned and looked at me.
“He rode like a maniac, even when I asked him to slow down. And then... then he made fun of me and said he wouldn't let me die a virgin like it's a big joke. Well its not. It's not funny!!” I narrowed my eyes on my dad. He was glaring at me in return. What did he think that I'd find it funny? “And!! He said you’re stubborn and you talk too much.”
Mum wheeled around on the spot to face my dad. I couldn't see him now because she was in the way. So I turned to leave. Being a daughter meant that parents word is law. You couldn't fight fairly with them because the balance in the relationship between parent and child didn't work like that. Children couldn't just say 'because I said so' and that be it. So when you can't fight fair, you employ someone who can and who better to crush dad, than mum? Mum could be vicious. Just ask James, he's always in shit...
Overall I think perhaps, just maybe, I regret dobbing dad in. Just a tad. I'd created the shittiest home environment to live in for the last days of the summer. Albus had been particularly displeased at it.
“In three days, you get to go to school and I'm stuck here in temple-o-tense that you've created here.”
Of course I told him to get snotted. Even though dad was in trouble I was pretty much confined to my room due to the principle 'guilty by association' ...and it wasn't like Al had ever been grounded. I pointed out he could come and go as he pleased so could he ever so kindly fuck off?
To which he replied something along the lines of 'yeah ok. I'll go to Dana's... And have sex har har har.' Obviously, he'd inherited his sense of humor from dad.
Temple-o-Tense might have been one of Albus' best jokes, even if it wasn't funny, but he was pretty spot on. He actually would probably take more pride in being right instead of being funny. You know, because he's lame like that. I had always kind of bragged that my parents were cool. I guess I had forgotten that the last few weeks since for the first time I could remember they weren't being as cool as they usually were. It wasn't lost on me that I possibly was to blame. Partially. I think realistically it was a joint effort by dad and me. Grounding had sucked. It still sucked. But I kind of only had me to blame for its longevity. I think if I had a daughter who snuck out, three-ish weeks of grounding could be reasoned.
It seemed as though like Al had inherited dad's terrible sense of humor, I'd inherited his ability to dig myself an even bigger hole than I already had. Also, I was stubborn so I couldn't just say sorry. I hadn't forgotten that all I had done was ask mum for a potion. Maybe not your everyday potion but still, it was simple. How else are you supposed to act when your father threatens to lock you in a tower and cut your hair short? You freak out. I freaked out. He freaked out and now the whole freaking thing was stupid. It was out of freaking hand.
When at dinner that night mum dropped dad's plate onto the table in front of him and he flinched, I was overwhelmed with guilt.
“Sorry am I being too stubborn for you?” She asked him sarcastically. At least dad seemed to be able to control himself. He just sat there quietly. Al and James glared at me.
On the last night before I went back to school I ate my freaking words.
“Mum. I made it up.”
I skipped dinner. It was not my choice. Well kind of anyway. I got told to go to bed early by mum but I did choose to lie completely through my teeth. Turns out I was daddy's little girl through and through...
“Here,” Dad offered me a plate. I eyed it. We weren't allowed to eat in our rooms. Not since mum found some of her finest china moulding in James' room. (I'm starting to think James is accountable for a lot of things we Potter kids aren't allowed to do.)
“You didn't have to do that. You shouldn't have,” He said quietly.
I shrugged. Even if I wanted to it wasn't like I could take it back. Could I? No. So I'd just have to eat my dinner in my bedroom.
“I just want to say that I only made the joke to lighten the mood ok? I don't like you being angry with me. I hate it in fact. I just can't get used to this whole thing.” He sighed as he took a seat at my desk. “I can't. I tried. I just can't but I am sorry. Really.”
“I'm sorry too.
The ride to Kings Cross was quiet. Too quiet honestly. James pinched me a few times and when I shouted ouch at him mum just glared at us. You'd seriously think that he was nine and not nineteen. I didn't see why mum had forced him to stay over the night before and come to the train station. When we got to the station mum and dad were talking near the front of the car about something and I was trying desperately to tug my trunk out of the boot but it wouldn't come. I didn't even know how they got it in there in the first place. And of course, James and Al stood and watched me on account that I had been so horrible that Tweedledee and Tweedledum (they seriously looked way too much alike) decided not to help. I suddenly wished that I had left the Tweedles to live in Temple-o-Tense. Prats.
Eventually dad tugged it out in one move and put it on a trolley. Without realising it I linked my arm around my dad's arm and walked off with him with my nose in the air. I reverted to my five year old self. Great!!
Having been grounded for so long, and trust me three weeks felt like eternity, platform nine and three-quarters looked like heaven. All the talking and people moving around was so exciting. It took about, I dunno, three seconds maybe, for me to realise that I'd get to see Jack today. Before I even realised, let along control myself, I was craning my neck looking for him. I'd totally forgotten I was still linked with dad and had made it oh. so. obvious. that I was looking for him. I tried to remind myself of the awful debilitating cramps I'm supposed to have. It almost worked until I caught sight of him.
I almost did a right angle turn and started towards him. I'm pretty sure dad knew but he just kept going his own, non-Jackson way.
I tried. I really did. I don't however, have control over Jack. No I don't. I'm sorry. So when he came over to me I mentally tried to shoo him away but it didn't work. Nor did me trying to shoo him with my eyes. You know when you open them wide and dart them in the direction they should be going. It just makes you look like you've taken something. He looked at me confused.
“Ah... What are you doing?” He asked.
“Nothing,” I sighed.
He pulled a face like he didn't believe me. I wouldn't have if I were him either. Damn my slack mental shooing abilities.
“Riiight. Well we have a compartment over here...” He pointed over his shoulder slowly.
“With?” It was James. I rolled my eyes. I had a bad feeling that not only did my awful debilitating cramps apply to dad, but also my brothers.
“Ah Lorcan and Lysander. I think Hugo. Oh um and Carla put her shit... I mean trunk in there.”
I heard mum stiffen a giggle behind me at his swearing correction. I'm pretty sure mum swears enough for us all frankly. I mean, she says fuck a lot when she stumps her toe and things. No one in the Potter family could really chastise him for swearing. It was somewhat cute to watch him stutter.
“Is that okay with everyone or should I go and get an empty compartment?” There was a mumble from the family. I had more taste than to lose my virginity in a bloody compartment on the train. “Good!”
My glaring at my family made Jackson a little uncomfortable. He was usually pretty quiet which didn't work seeing as my family could be pretty intimidating. Like now for instance when they are all glaring at him with beady accusatory eyes.
“I'll just go and up... Trunk. Compartment. I'll put it in. Put the trunk in I mean. Shit. Shit! Sorry. Ah. See you on the train. Ah. Bye.” He took the trolley with my trunk and headed for the train really fast. I was kind of surprised he didn't run over anyone's ankles or toes.
“You guys suck.” I pointed out as I followed him to help him.
I'm pretty sure I heard Al yell out something like 'keep your hands where we can see them'. Prat!
When I came back out to say goodbye to the family I told Jack quickly that he should probably steer clear and I'd explain everything on the journey.
The goodbyes were standard. Mum got a little emotional, but not overly like other mothers. This was a definite positive. James hugged me; it was compulsory, ruffled my hair and called me squirt. Al, in true Al fashion, told me to study hard. Plus his compulsory hug. He also whispered Rapunzell in my ear. And people think he's the nice one. Honestly, they are both as bad as each other only, Al is just more discrete. Dad was... weird. I mean he usually is but today, even more so.
My compulsory hug was way way to tight and I could barely breathe. “I'm coming back dad. Sheeze.”
“Yeah I know,” he said setting me right.
A few more quick goodbyes and I was on my way back onto the train. I shouldn't have done it, I always tell myself that, but I turned back around for one last wave. It's always the death of me. I shuffled back for one last hug from mum. James made fake crying noises behind her – 'ohh boo hoo' – but I ignored him. Then I was back to dad. I felt stupid but I had this compulsion to talk, maybe because like mum I talk too much. I whispered.
“I only asked for the potion just incase. I haven't made a final decision on it. And I love you dad.”
“Ah... I love you too.”
I knew what he was thinking. “I'd have told you that earlier, but you never asked.” I smiled. This time on my way back to the train I didn't look back. I wasn't that cruel to myself.
I sat in my compartment feeling equally miserable as happy. If it were at all possible. Then Hugo had to open his big mouth and tip the balance to more miserable than happy.
“Summer ended well, huh?”
I hated when people asked questions they already knew the answer for and my cousin was like, the king of them. So I told him to shut up.
“All I'm saying is you have how many older female cousins? Couldn't you have asked one of them to get the potion for you??”
I groaned. It was a sad sad day when Hugo Weasley was smarter than you.