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Chapter 23 : Damn Books Are An Obsession
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“Damn, I’m almost out of ink,” Emilie hissed as she swirled the remaining contents of her ink bottle around. “Add that to the list will you, Pip?”
Pippa added a line on their already extensive list of items to get from Hogsmeade and looked up expectantly at Emilie.
“I can’t think of anything else, can you?” Emilie glanced over at me. I was supposed to be reading about healing potions for our essay but instead I was doodling on my parchment and listening to my friends plan out their Hogsmeade trip.
“We could start looking for dress robes for the Snow Angels Ball. The ones I wore last year are too small now,” I suggested.
“Excellent!” Pippa beamed, taking extra care to write “dress robes” twice as large as the other items of the list, circling it, and drawing little stars all around it. I could only guess where we’d spend most of our Saturday afternoon.
“Where on earth is Marley?” Emilie griped, crossing her arms and settling herself back into the squishy red couch. She glanced around the common room out of habit even though she knew Marley wasn’t even in the Gryffindor tower.
“Maybe she’s studying in the library,” I offered. “I mean, I’m getting no work done here…”
As if on cue, Marley burst through the portrait hole and flung herself onto the couch next to Emilie, landing partially on top of her.
“Oh. My. God. Oh my god. Ohmygodohmygodohmygod,” Marley sputtered excitedly, waving her hands around frantically.
“Calm down, woman!” Pippa grabbed Marley’s arms and pinned them to her side. “Tell us slowly and calmly what you’re flailing about.”
Marley sucked in a big breath, paused for a second, then let out her breath in a rush of words. “OhmygodLiamjustaskedmetoHogsmeadwithhimforsaturdayandIsaidyes.”
“Huh?” Emilie furrowed her eyebrows and looked at Pippa and I. “Did you guys catch any of that?” We both shook out heads and turned back to Marley.
“Liam. He just asked me. Hogsmeade!!! With him. I’m going!” Marley gasped, her tiny hands flailing at her side.
“Are you even speaking English? In full sentences please, and slowly,” Pippa growled.
“Ok,” Marley let out a deep breath, her arms still waving helplessly at her side. “I was in the library studying and I went to find a book about the Healing potions but it was too high on the shelf, so I had to jump to reach it, but when I finally got it, it fell. I went to pick it up but a hand reached out and grabbed it first and when I stood up, Liam was there, looking like a freaking god. So he gave me back the book and I said thanks and then he said that he’d been meaning to talk to me, so of course I nearly died. Anyways, he went on to say that he’d noticed me around lately and wanted to know if I’d go to Hogsmeade with him on Saturday. And I said yes!” Marley squealed and buried her face in her hands. “I can’t believe he asked me! This is like a dream come true!”
“That’s amazing!” Emilie squealed as well and Pippa and I had to laugh at how ridiculous the two of them looked, holding each others hands and squealing like ten year old girls.
“Oh Merlin, I need to go plan what I’m going to wear,” Marley gasped suddenly.
She jumped off the couch and ran up the stairs with Emilie close behind calling “but it’s not for another two days!” after her.
Pippa turned back to me, chuckling lightly and shaking her head.
“Pip, did anyone ask you to Hogsmeade?” I asked, turning back to my essay.
“Of course. Some starry-eyed sixth years, a few goony fifth years, one brave third year, and then the usual following in our grade. I turned them all down. I would go with Adrian but he has quidditch practice that day,” Pippa said casually. I loved the way she could just toss off the fact that half the school had just asked her to Hogsmeade.
“But you guys have only been out once. You aren’t like, seriously dating are you? I don’t think he’d be mad if you went with someone else,” I raised my eyebrows at her and she huffed.
“What’s with the twenty questions, Lily? I don’t see you going to Hogsmeade with anyone. Why is it a big deal that I go stag?” Pippa barked at me.
“It’s not a big deal. And someone did ask me…” I said carefully. “Chris asked me a few days ago.”
“He what?” Pippa dropped the parchment and quill she was holding.
“I said no,” I stuttered, startled by her violent reaction.
“But you guys are totally over. He knows that right? What was he thinking?” Pippa scoffed and when I didn’t confirm she looked at me incredulously.
“You’ve got to be kidding me, Lily. You broke up with him for a reason remember? Have you completely forgotten that?” Pippa scooted around the coffee table we were sitting at so that she was directly across from me.
“I know we broke up,” I hissed, glancing around to make sure no one was listening to our conversation. “But Potter’s a lost cause. And I do still have feelings for Chris. Would it be so crazy?”
“Yes,” Pippa said without hesitating. “Lily, I always thought you were smart and had common sense. Can’t you see how ludicrous this would be? What happened to that whole ‘it’s not right’ feeling?”
“I don’t know,” I said defensively. “Maybe I was wrong. It was just a thought, Pip. Ease up.”
“I’m sorry,” Pippa said, her voice still urgent. “I just don’t think it’s a good idea.”
“Fine,” I spat. “Point taken.”
We stared at each other in silence for a minute before I began to gather up my things.
“Where are you going? You haven’t finished your essay,” Pippa said quietly.
“Back to my room. I’m not getting anything done here,” I snapped, throwing my bag over my shoulder and marching out of the portrait hole without looking back.
I stomped down the empty corridors towards the Heads Dorm. Why did Pippa care so much if I dated Chris again? Not that I had actually seriously considered it. But it would have been nice to have gotten a little support either way.
“Where’s the fire, Evans?” I heard a smooth, deep voice call from behind me. I turned to see Sirius trotting behind me to catch up and I stopped to wait for him.
“In a hurry somewhere?” He asked, slowing his pace when he reached me.
“No, just going back to my room,” I said roughly, picking up my pace again.
“Whoa, you’re mad. Any particular person this is directed at?” Sirius chuckled.
“Stupid fight with Pippa. Its not even worth talking about,” I said, letting out a deep sigh. “What’s new with you? Any dates for Hogsmeade? I can’t imagine you would ever go solo.”
“As a matter of fact, I am going alone this time,” Sirius grumbled, running an irritated hand through his shaggy black hair.
“No one said yes?” I smirked and he rolled his eyes at me.
“No. I didn’t ask anyone. Holly wanted me to double date with Prongs so I told her I wasn’t going with anyone. It was the only way to get out of it. Except now I can’t go with anyone in case they see,” Sirius explained. “And Remus is getting sick so he’s not going and Peter mumbled something about studying.”
“Are you a Marauder or not?” I scoffed. “Find a way around it. You’ve never been opposed to sneaking around before.”
“Maybe I’ll conveniently arrange to ‘run into’ someone there,” he chuckled as we walked through the portrait hole to the Heads dorm. “Or we could go together.”
“Sirius Black, are you asking me out?” I laughed and looked over at Sirius but he was looking straight ahead at something with a guilty expression on his face. I followed his gaze but only caught a glimpse of the tail of Potter’s robes whipping out of site as he slammed his bedroom door.
“Oops,” I said quietly, looking back to Sirius.
“Um, I’m going to go talk to James. It’s what I came here for anyways,” Sirius mumbled, starting for his door.
“We can still go to Hogsmeade together. I’m supposed to hang out with Pippa and Emilie. You can tag along, too. I promise we won’t look at dress robes all day,” I gave him a small smile.
“Deal,” he smiled back before knocking quietly on Potter’s door. Not wanting to get caught in the middle of anything I slipped quickly into my bedroom and closed the door. I settled myself in at my desk and got to work finishing my essay.
* * * *
One more paragraph…. Just one. And then I can look at the book. My eyes moved unwillingly towards my bookshelf where my two black books were stored. I could just look for a few minutes… No! Must. Finish. Essay.
I quickly wrote what was possibly the worst conclusion to a potions essay that I’d ever written and jumped off my chair, practically launching myself into my bookshelf. Damn book’s like an obsession. In my haste to get the confessional I knocked the Clique’s book off the shelf and it fell to the floor. I reached down to pick it up and I noticed that the page that it was opened to had just one line of text.
Lily? You there?
I stared at it for a second before recognizing it as Pippa’s handwriting. I had no idea when she’d written this, but I grabbed a quill off my desk and lay back on my bed writing her a reply.
I’m here, Pip. What’s up?
Sorry about earlier.
No worries. You don’t want me with Chris again. I get it.
No, it’s not that at all. I actually don’t mind Chris. Do whatever makes you happy.
Thanks… I think? Is that all?
You’re really good friends with Black.
Not a question, Pip. Does that bother you?
No…. well, yes? I mean, not that you’re friends. I just wish I were that close to him, too.
Well, I can help. I invited him to come to Hogsmeade with us.
You did? You are beyond amazing. And… you know, you and Chris are pretty cute together…
Thanks, Pip. You know… If you like Black so much, maybe you should tell him.
I could say the same to you about Potter.
Touché. What about Adrian, though?
It’s not a crime to have a little fun on the sides is it? I’ll see you at dinner?
I closed the book and tucked it back on my shelf before grabbing my other little black book and laying on my stomach on my bed. I propped the book open and flipped through the pages to the newest confessions that I hadn’t read. I still couldn’t believe how well this worked out. More and more people were writing confessions now and still no one was using names. I knew we made that rule for a reason but deep down I had this burning desire to know who wrote them and who they were about.
132. I still blame my mother for the horrible things that happened to my family
133. I like to leave love letters in library books and pretend that you find one so you’ll finally know how I feel.
134. My favorite flowers are forget-me-nots because they are your favorite.
135. I lied to you so you would not get hurt.
136. I’m ready to come home
137. I only feel beautiful when I’m hungry
138. I sit in the library and pretend to read, but I’m really eavesdropping on your conversations
I paused, staring at confession #134: “My favorite flowers are forget-me-nots because they are your favorite”. I took a deep breath and glanced up at my forget-me-not vase on my nightstand.
It couldn’t be— but I can’t be the only person at Hogwarts who’s favorite flower is forget-me-nots. And either way, only the Clique knows its my favorite flower, and—but no. I couldn’t let myself believe that.
I closed the book quickly so I wouldn’t dwell on what I just read and jumped off my bed. I had to forget that I ever read that. There’s no way I could get over Potter if I kept thinking things like this. If only I could know who wrote that! Then I could know for sure that it was someone else and had nothing to do with me.
I grabbed my Transfiguration book off my desk to work in the common room. There were too many distractions in my room. If I stayed here, I’d be too tempted to look at the book again.
I walked into the common room just as Sirius was closing the door to Potter’s room.
“Hey,” I said, nodding in acknowledgement at Sirius. “What were you guys talking about?”
“Nothing, really. Just Marauder stuff,” Sirius shrugged, but for some reason I didn’t believe him. I narrowed my eyes at him. “Seriously, Evans. Guy stuff. I’ll see you later.”
“Are you still coming with us to Hogsmeade?” I called after him.
“Yeah,” He called from the portrait hole. “Can’t wait.”
A/N: Hey guys so here's a bit more. i'm furiously trying to write the rest of it before school starts back up again but that might not happen....SO in the mean time hope you liked! And just a warning, the next few chapters about about to get REAL dramatic. hope you can handle it ;)
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