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Beat Again by Jaded94
Chapter 1 : I need love CPR
Rating: 12+Chapter Reviews: 5

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Beat Again

Damn, The Doctor's just finished telling me there's no time
Losing you could be the end of me and that I
Should do the things that I wanna do how could I
Without you, without you, ooh, ooh

The dormitory was silent and empty save for the seventeen year old boy who lay on his bed facing up at the ceiling. His eyes were closed but his occasional blinking showed that he was conscious.

He didn’t show any sign of life other than opening one eye as the door burst open. Upon seeing who it was his eyes flicked closed again.

“Prongs?” Sirius asked nervously.

“We broke up” James’s voice was casual.

“Why?” Sirius was shocked James and Lily were the couple that everyone wanted to be. As both were gorgeous, clever and funny.

“She thinks that once we are out of school there wont be a point. We’ll be in training and have no time for each other.” His voice was level and his face showed no expression.

“And you just let her go?” Sirius wondered.

“Its her choice” James shrugged.

It had been a week since the break up and things were painfully normal. Graduation was a month away and they had finished their NEWTS. James had thrown himself into everything he attempted with more enthusiasm than he had done ever before and was sure he had managed a few Outstanding NEWTS. The Marauders had planned their end of year prank and this was one to put the last six years to shame.

Sirius and Remus were playing chess that evening, when Lily Evans sat down next to them. If they were shocked they didn’t show it.

“How is he?” Lily asked softly.

Sirius went to open his mouth when Remus cut across him. “No better than you”

Lily hung her head.

Sirius took Remus’s knight before looking Lily in the eye. “Lets be honest Red, He’s miserable! And he’s trying so hard it hurts to be around him. He’s like a brother to me I can tell he is hurting and every time he see’s you with Diggory he dies inside.”

“I’m not with Diggory!” Lily said her eyes wide. “Does he think I’m with Amos now?!”

Sirius shrugged “That’s what it looks like.”

“Well I’m not! Amos has tried it on a few times but I’ve told him no” Lily huffed folding her arms and leaning back in her seat making Sirius snigger.

Remus moved his rook before telling Lily, “How are you though Lily?”

“I’m coping.” She missed him more than she cared to admit.

Remus shook his head sadly.

Sirius however looked her in the eye she could see that he didn’t believe her.

His gaze not dropping her own he murmured “Checkmate”

Cos you're the only one I let in
Tell me how to stop this feeling spreading
I'm hoping somehow that you know, ooh, ooh

It was two minutes past one in the morning and James couldn’t sleep. Deciding to go visit Madame Pompfrey and persuade her to give him a dreamless sleep potion which would ensure that he slept soundly for the rest of the night, James rolled out of bed and pulling on a pair of grey baggy jogging bottoms over the boxers he slept in.

His bare feet grew cold as they hit the spiral stone steps that led down from the boy’s dormitories. He could tell by the orange glow the fire had yet to go out. Yawning James walked across the room in the direction of the portrait hole.

“James?” a shocked voice asked.

Only her voice would make him freeze.

“James? Where are you going?” Lily asked him.

He had not yet turned to face her as he answered rather stiffly “I’m going to the hospital wing”

“Why? Are you ill?” her voice was soft and concerned.

“No.” James finally span to face her and he almost smiled as her forehead scrunched up in confusion. “I cant sleep” he added.

“Me either” Lily sighed sitting down on the rug in front of the fire.

James just stood still staring at the girl he had called his until a week ago. Her hair was still the same shade of auburn and her eyes still the same emerald colour. Her cheeks were blushed from the heat of the fire.

Unsure of why he didn’t just carry on his way to the hospital wing James let his feet carry him to the armchair placed near the fire and just behind where Lily sat staring into the flames.

James cleared his throat quietly before summoning all his courage he admitted “I’ve missed you”

Let's just get back together
We should've never broke up
They're telling me

That my heart wont beat again
Lily’s eyes flicked to his face, He was being serious. She moaned into her hands. If James wasn’t so nervous he would have laughed.

“Lily I can’t stop thinking about you. I wish we never broke up. So what if we’re not going to be with each other like we are in school. We can see each other after work we can work it out”

Lily smiled slightly. “But James when we were going out we would be together all the time what if we cant handle being apart.”

“Well we’re not suffering too bad now are we? And we haven’t spoke in a week.”

“It hasn’t exactly been an easy week for me!” Lily said her eyes tearing up.

“Me either! But imagine though if we were together and talking it would be easy for us to be together.” James knew he was right. “I’ll even buy one of those tone things so we can talk”

“Tone?” Lily almost laughed “You mean phone right?”

“That’s the one” James chuckled.

“I don’t know” Lily sighed.

We should have stayed together
Cos when you left me it stopped
They're telling me
That my heart wont beat again

Won't beat again
Its killing me

“Lily I cannot live without you. And I don’t care how corny this is going to sound but when you left me my heart stopped beating. I think I’m having withdrawal symptoms. Sirius is right being away from you is killing me!”

“James...” Lily sighed.

“No Lils listen to me. You’re the only one who knows I had a teddy bear up until Hogwarts. The only one who knows that I dressed up as a girl on my seventh birthday. Sirius doesn’t even know that I cried under the invisibility cloak on my first night here cause I was homesick.”

“James I didn’t know about the second one” Lily laughed openly.

“Oh.” James blushed.

“So a girl huh? Any reason why you would dress up like a girl?”

“I was curious!” James tried to defend himself unsuccessfully as Lily rolled around in fits of her own laughter.

“It’s not that funny” James muttered under his breath as tears of laughter streamed from Lily’s eyes.

Lily took one look at his face before cracking up into another fit of giggles. James sighed aggravated “I’m trying to bare my soul to you here!”

“Sorry” Lily sobered up.

If I died,
Yeah would you come to my funeral would you cry
Would you feel some regret that we didn't try
Or would you fall apart the same as I, I, I, I

“We’re living in dark times and I don’t want to do anything without you. I have missed you so much. I care for you so much, how can I start a future that you aren’t in?”

“James, You know how I feel, you do.” Lily said desperately.

“Lily? What if I died?” James asked randomly.

“You wont die!” Lily protested, the idea of James not living on this planet was painful to her.

“How can you be so sure that I won’t die? How can anyone be sure at the moment?” James put his head in his hands.

“You’ve thought about this a lot haven’t you?” Lily asked softly she walked over to him and place a hand on his shoulder.

“Voldemort is not exactly getting weaker.” James mumbled into his hands.

“James if you died I wouldn’t no what to do with myself” Lily said quietly. “Probably become depressed before I shave off my hair until it looks like yours and then become a alcoholic” she continued in the same voice.

He looked up, “You’re so odd” James smiled.

“Thanks” she smiled back.

And would it always haunt you baby
That you missed your chance to save me
Cos you know its not too late

The burning fire was almost out now and the bright orange glow had dulled. Through the arched windows they could see a dark sky filled with tiny sparkling stars.

Lily’s hand slid to cup James’s cheek gently her pale hand appeared ghostly white against his tanned face.

“Its not too late for us is it?” James asked her.

“No I don’t think it is” Lily let her lips curve upwards as she spoke.

Let's just get back together
We should have never broke up
They're telling me
That my heart wont beat again

They didn’t speak a word to each other for a minute or so, just looked at each other.

Lily released his face but sat on the arm of James’s chair. She leant her head on the top of his, closing her eyes.

“Move in with me?” James said after five minutes.

Lily’s eyes popped open and she lifted her head quickly. “What?!”

“I have money” James said “We’ll get a flat in London near the ministry so we can get to work easily. We’ll see each other in mornings at night can have family over for dinner and everything.”

“You’re serious?” Lily asked a grin forming.


And Lily couldn’t help it she pressed her lips to his for the first time in what felt like ages.

“I’m taking that as a yes right?” James said once they had parted.

Lily hit him over the head lightly “You’re an idiot” she laughed.

We should have stayed together
Cos when you left me it stopped
They're telling me
That my heart wont beat again

Won't beat again
Its killing me

“Ahh but you love me for it.” James winked.

“You wish” Lily muttered.

James looked at her with raised eyebrows. “What was that?” he teased.

Lily smiled angelically before backing away from the mischievous look in James’s eyes.

“James?” she laughed nervously. He started to follow her so she ran. He easily caught her and picked her up dumping her on the sofa. She poked her tongue out at him so he began tickling her. “No James! James!” she almost shrieked with laughter and James covered her mouth with his hand. She was panting from lack of air.

“Sshh you’ll wake everyone up!” he laughed. She mock glared at him as he pulled his hand away. He winked before laying down next to her. He placed his arms around her and they fell into a comfortable silence. Their breathing was slow and rhythmic.

I need you back in my arms
I need love CPR
Cos it's getting so cold, ooh

The fire finally burnt out and the room was plunged into darkness. Lily placed her hand closer to James’s chest. Carefully he kissed her head.

“Night Lils”

She mumbled something sleepily snuggling closer and her chuckled before closing his eyes and drifting off to sleep.

I need you back again
Or else I'll never mend
And girl if I go, I go, I go, I go

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