Chapter 41 : Healing Harry
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Ginny looked up from Harry’s face and saw both Healers staring at her. “Yes, I – I’m fine.”
“We have been calling to you, but you weren’t responding,” stated Maris excitedly. She spoke so quickly that Ginny had a difficult time understanding her. “We need your help if we are going to save Harry. You need to help support his head, hold him down, and aspirate him.”
“What’s aspirate?” asked Ginny, but the two healers didn’t answer. Maris waved her wand over Harry making his restraints disappear. Darius was working on the hole in his back as blood poured out.
“Support his head,” ordered Maris, as she pushed on Harry’s right side rolling him towards Darius.
Ginny gently grasped Harry’s head. He was still alive, but barely. His breathing was very weak and it had a strange gurgling sound to it. “Don’t worry, Harry. I am right here. They will take care of you, love,” she whispered reassuringly in his ear. He was barely conscious, but, when she looked in his eyes, she saw fear. She had never seen him so afraid in her life. The man, who walked to his death for the safety of others, was now afraid to die.
“Ginny, move,” ordered Maris. She was holding a tube in her hand. She moved Ginny out of the way to access Harry’s mouth. She then commenced to shove the tube into his mouth and apparently down his throat. After getting it in place, she tapped the tube with her wand and whispered some spell. A sucking sound could be heard from the tube. “Ginny hold this in place. Make sure it doesn’t pull out even the slightest. It is important. The last piece of wood had penetrated Harry’s left lung, and now his lung has filled with blood. We must make sure that his other lung stays clear, or he will drown in his own blood. Do you understand this hose must remain working until we get the bleeding stopped?”
“Yes, I understand,” Ginny tried to say. It seemed like her mouth didn’t want to work, but she must have said something because Maris nodded and returned to the side of the table. Fear was consuming Ginny. The fear that Harry was dying in her arms made her eyes well up. She looked away from him. She couldn’t let him see her crying. Blinking back the tears, she took a deep breath to control her emotions. With the bravest face she could form, she looked at Harry again. The fear in his eyes almost made her break down and cry, but she didn’t. She couldn’t for his sake.
The tube was making a horrible sucking sound, like a straw at the bottom of one of Fortescue’s milkshakes. She looked up at the two healers and they were working frantically also trying to drain the blood out of Harry’s lungs, using the wound in his back. Harry was getting paler by the second. She could feel him gripping her arms as he laid there. It felt like he was holding on to her as though she was an anchor to keep him from drifting into the netherworld.
Ginny’s feeling of helplessness was growing every second. She could only watch as the two healers tried to save Harry. She had no idea how to comfort him and reassure him, because she wasn’t so sure of his recovery herself. Leaning down she kissed him gently on the forehead. When she first made contact with her lips, she became scared. Harry had slumped slightly in her arms. She pulled back and saw that he had relaxed from her kiss. She kissed him again, and whispered, “You are going to be fine, Harry.”
He started coughing. His entire body shook from the coughs. This brought glares from the healers, especially Darius. She couldn’t do anything to stop his coughing. Merlin only knows what it must feel like to have a tube stuck down your throat sucking blood out of your lungs. It can’t feel good. Ginny did all she could to hold and support him, until the coughing was finished. Maris checked the tube and nodded at her that it was still in good shape.
Healer Darius tapped one of the white cleansing Potions with his wand and then started to place his wand in the open wound.
“What are you doing,” hissed Maris. It sounded as if she was trying to whisper, but failed miserably.
“I am cleaning out the contaminants,” he growled at her.
“You should seal the wound.”
“If I do, he will die of an infection. I am the expert here, so leave me be,” he stated rather loudly. “Hold on tight to him Ginny.”
Darius shoved his wand inside of Harry’s wound. Ginny could see the Potion disappearing from the flask. She didn’t see any coming out of the wound though. After emptying the first flask of Potion, he tapped another one. By this time, Harry started to shake from the pain of the healing Potion. Ginny tightened her grip on the hose making sure it kept his lungs clean. As more of the potion entered the wound, Harry’s convulsions worsened. Suddenly Ginny grimaced in pain; Harry was biting down hard on her finger. She had been holding the tube in its proper place, by running her index finger along the tube in Harry’s mouth. She didn’t need or want to look down as she could feel his teeth cut through the flesh on her finger. She was also concentrating on holding him in place until the convulsions stopped.
“Don’t let that tube slide, Ginny. It is vitally important,” stated Maris.
“I don’t intend to,” replied Ginny through gritted teeth. She was concentrating on anything but the pain in her finger. As Harry shook on the table, she started to think that he might actually bite her finger off. Harry stopped convulsing and collapsed like a rag doll.
Healer Darius immediately started to siphon out the wound. He filled two flasks with horrid looking Potion. He looked up at Maris. “We don’t have any more, do we?”
“No, I am afraid not,” she sadly replied. “The rest we have on stock is being used in other operating rooms,” Maris informed him.
“I guess I should seal it up.”
Darius bent down and pushed his wand deep into the hole in Harry’s back. It seemed as though he had placed his entire wand into the opening. Ginny watched silently as the Healer went about sealing up Harry’s wound. She bent down and kissed his hair this time. “I told you that you would pull through.” She looked in his eyes and still saw fear. A fear so over whelming that she couldn’t comprehend why it was there.
“There he is all closed up,” stated Darius. His haughty voice from earlier was gone. He now sounded tired and slightly defeated. “Thank you Miss Weasley for helping, the two of us could never have done that properly. Maris let’s roll him back over.”
The two healers rolled Harry over, laying him face down. When he first went face down, his coughing came back. Ginny was getting large globules of blood coming through tube.
“Mr. Potter,” stated Healer Darius. “Your wounds have all been sealed. I want you to remain face down and still for another day. Healer Maris will be getting your Potions to drink. You will be staying in here for a week. I want to be sure that an infection doesn’t start up in you. Well, good day to you.” With that the healer walked past Ginny and left the room.
“You can take the tube out now, Ginny,” said Maris. Her tone of voice had also changed.
Ginny gently pulled the hose out of Harry’s mouth. She was having a hard time doing this because she was afraid of hurting him. When she finally extracted the entire length of hose, she held it up for the Healer. Maris gasped at the sight of Ginny’s hand. Blood was now running down the back on her hand and soaking into her robes.
“Ginny, why didn’t you say something?” asked a distraught Maris. “Here, I will have you fixed up in a jiffy.” She tapped her wand to Ginny’s bleeding index-finger. Immediately the cut healed and leaving only minor traces of pink to show where the it had been at. “Now, Mr. Potter, I am going to get some Potions for you to take. I hope you are hungry, because after you drink all of these you won’t be. The last one that I will give you will be a Dreamless Sleep Potion. It will help you sleep without tossing and turning. You won’t be waking up until this evening, and then a Healer will check you and give you another round of Potions. I will probably be here tomorrow morning when you awake again. All right, I need to see our Potion Master.” She stopped talking and walked out of the room.
Ginny rolled off her knees and sat down in front of Harry on the floor. She was looking at him trying to think what to say to him. Her mind was swirling with so many things now. “Did you intend on letting me see your memories of Azkaban?”
Harry looked at her shocked. “You were in my mind?” he wheezed out. His voice was barely audible and raspy, because of being aspirated.
“Yes, didn’t you know? I figured you did something to allow me access. I have never performed Legilimency before.”
He shook his head. “I didn’t try to do anything, but I am weak and my resistance is down. I haven’t stopped thinking about th – that.”
“Harry, you didn’t do anything wrong. You were trying to protect the public. Please don’t feel remorse for those vile people. How many people do you think they have killed without remorse,” Ginny was trying to keep her voice calm, but it was difficult, as the sight of Harry’s mental state was bothering her. “You are not a monster. You are not like Voldemort.” She shifted position again and was kneeling in front of him. She ran her fingers through his hair and kissed him softly on the forehead. “I love you Harry. I will not give up on you…,” She kissed him on the lips. “…because I believe that you are a good and loving person.”
Ginny tilted Harry’s head up a little, so she could look in those lost and pain-filled eyes again. “I will not tolerate anymore talk about me finding someone else,” she cheekily said to him. “I have invested too much time in you to let it all go to waste. Do you hear me, Mr. Potter?”
Seeing Harry smile, was worth all the mental anguish she went through earlier. She wanted to throw her arms around him and hug him, but she was afraid to hurt him. She sat back down on the floor and stared at him. There in front of her, his smile faded. All shades of happiness left his face to be replaced by sorrow and regret. It cut her up to see this happening all over again.
“I love you Ginny,” he whispered. “I really do, but I am so afraid. I am afraid of ending up like Voldemort.” He was almost crying now. The fear on his face was heart wrenching.
“No, you are not like him. You never have been,” she stressed, even more urgently.
He shook his head wearily back and forth, before speaking again, “Talk to Hermione and Ron. They will understand what I mean. Ginny, I am so scared of what I’ve done to myself.”
Ginny was left speechless with his last statement. She couldn’t understand what he meant by it. What was it he had done to himself? She didn’t care what he did. She will do whatever she can to make him feel better. She reached out and took his hand, trying to give him comfort while rubbing circles on the back of it with her thumb. That simple act seemed to help him, so she sat there holding his hand while running the scene from Azkaban through her mind over and over again.
Healer Maris walked through the door from the waiting area holding a tray with several large flasks on it. “Miss Weasley, let me get you a chair. There is no need to sit on the floor.”
“I’m all right, thank you,” replied Ginny. As she adjusted her sitting position, to keep her legs from going numb.
The Healer set the tray down and used her wand to create a low chair for Ginny. Turning back to the tray she picked up the smallest flask. It held a Potion that was no larger than a cup of tea. “Here Mr. Potter, drink this,” she ordered as she handed the flask to Ginny. “It will be easier if someone else holds it for him,” she told Ginny with a wink.
Ginny leaned forward and helped hold Harry’s head up so that he could more easily drink the Potion. He drank it without complaint. Ginny could smell vanilla and cinnamon from the Potion. After Harry finished it, she handed the flask back to Maris. “What was that one for?”
The Healer smiled at her. “That one was to cover the taste of the others. It had no other purpose. We have found it easier to get people to take their medicine of we can cover up the horrid taste of it.” She leaned in even closer to Ginny and whispered, “Especially the blood restoring Potion, it taste like raw liver, yecch.”
Ginny smiled at the Healer’s expression, as she took the next Potion from her. It was much larger, almost half a litre, and was a thick amber colour and the odour almost made her gag. She again helped Harry drink it. She couldn’t believe that he finished it completely, only stopping to catch his breath once. She repeated that for the next Potion. It was a deep scarlet red that smelled like raw liver. The appearance and smell made her nauseous, but Harry finished it without complaint.
When Maris handed her the last Potion, she hesitated. “If you want to say good night to him, you had better do it before giving this to him. It is a Dreamless Sleep Potion. He won’t last but a few seconds after finishing it.”
Ginny bent down in front of Harry. The entire time that Maris had been there he hadn’t said a word. She put her mouth next to her ear so that his was next to hers. “You are going to go to sleep. I will be here when you awake, love. I will take care of you. You need not be afraid of anything, all right.”
“Thank you,” he whispered in her ear. “I love you.”
His simple statement made her feel so much better. She kissed him gently on the lips. The taste of the last Potion nearly gagged her. After kissing him, she helped him drink the last Potion. Within seconds of finishing it, he was asleep.
“There are people in the waiting area that want to speak to you, Ginny,” said Maris. When Ginny gave her a puzzled look, she continued, “Your parents along with Ron and Hermione. Darius told them that Harry made it through the surgery and that you were in here with him. No one wanted to disturb you.”
Ginny looked down at Harry sleeping on the table. She wanted to talk to them, but she didn’t want to leave Harry alone. She promised to be here when he woke up.
“Go on, now. He will be asleep for twelve hours, and I also need to clean up in here. So get yourself out there and spend some time with them. They are practically mental with concern.”
Ginny looked at the room. There was blood everywhere, on Harry, the operating table/bed, the sheets, and the floor. The room was truly a mess, but she hadn’t cared before, because she was so focused on Harry. “All right, I guess if he will be asleep for awhile,” sighed Ginny.
She was almost afraid to talk to anyone. What will she say to them? Should she tell them about Harry’s mental state, how he thought he was just like Voldemort. Gathering up her courage Ginny walked towards the door leading to the waiting room. She stopped to look back at Harry. He was peacefully sleeping. She looked at the pink marks on his back where they extracted the pieces of wood. Taking a deep breath she walked through the door waiting for the interrogation on the other side.
As soon as she stepped through the door, her mother jumped up and ran to her. She was dressed in her old threadbare house robes, and her hair was a mess. Ginny almost put a hand up to stop her mother from hugging her. She didn’t feel like being comforted right now with Harry being in the state that he was. When her mother enveloped her in her arms, Ginny didn’t respond to the hug.
Her mother pulled away from her and stared at her. “What’s wrong dear? Harry is all right. Isn’t he?”
Ginny looked at her mother’s face. The concern for Harry was etched in the frown on her face and the wrinkles of worry around her eyes. She looked past her mother and noticed Ron, Hermione, and her father was also standing there watching her.
“He will recover physically, but it is his mental state that I am worried about.”
Her mother turned and ushered her towards one of the sofas in the room. Ginny didn’t resist. In many ways, it felt good for someone to comfort her right now: when her world seemed to be spinning out of control, when the love of her life said he’s a monster, when she was clueless as to what to do next. She felt herself sit down with her mother’s arm still around her. Her father sat on the other side of her. Ron and Hermione sat on the sofa facing them.
“Ginny, we are all here to help you and Harry,” assured her mother.
“Thank you, it is just that Harry…” she stopped talking and thought of what to say. “Harry seems to hate himself right now.” She looked across to Hermione and Ron staring at her. She wanted to ask them about what Harry said.
However, she noticed the woman who was in this room before she went into the operating room. Staring at her, Ginny asked, “Excuse me, but who are you?”
The stranger smiled warmly at her question. She didn’t seem to be put off by it at all. “My name is Wendy Robards. I am here as – well, to help.” She must have noticed Ginny’s confused expression, because she went on to explain. “Auror spouses have an understanding. We help each other through difficult times like what you are experiencing. Sometimes it helps to have someone who has gone through similar situations before.”
Ginny was impressed with the explanation. She appreciated the thoughtfulness of Mrs. Robards being there, but she needed to ask some private questions of Ron and Hermione. “I don’t mean to be rude, Mrs. Robards, but there are some private things that I would like to discuss with my family.”
“I can understand why you would want to keep things private, Ginny, but let me have a chance to talk first.” She waited for Ginny to respond to her request.
“All right, I’ll listen.”
“You are not alone,” Mrs. Robards started off. “I am pretty sure I know what is wrong with Harry’s mental state. He killed some of the prisoners. Am I correct?”
Ginny had to keep from jeering at the statement “some of the prisoners”. From what she saw, he killed them all. “Yes.”
“I have had the pleasure of talking with Harry on several occasions, when he was over at my house for dinner. Gawain had invited him over on several occasions to ensure he got a good meal.”
Ginny almost laughed when she could feel her mother stiffen with the comment about a good meal. “Yes, he wrote me about those dinners.”
“He reminds me of Gawain when he was training to be an Auror,” stated Mrs. Robards. “I was really quite amazed at The Famous Harry Potter being so humble and helpful. He had a love for life and thought it was precious. Gawain still thinks that way, even after he had to kill someone in the line of duty.
“Ginny,” her gaze intensified, as she repositioned herself on the chair. “That was the most troubling time we ever had together. We were always afraid of He-who-must-not-be-named, but it was different. We were there to support and watch over each other. When Gawain killed that wizard, it seemed to crush him. All his ideals were shattered with that act. The Ministry told him he had done what was right, but that didn’t help.
“Gawain became an Auror, because he thought using the Dark Arts was a crime against humanity. Yet, to save others from suffering caused by a Dark Arts. He used them. He killed someone. It made him question everything he believed in: his job, his sense of justice, and himself. It is a terrible paradox that people who want to rid the world of murderers must at times choose to kill. It crosses that line of knowing which side you are actually on. Are you really the one that is doing the right thing, or are you just another animal given the right to kill, by society, to protect society. What was once black and white suddenly became cloudy to him, and also me. I loved him for his sense of what was right and noble. I knew he wasn’t evil sanctioned by society, but a man who had to resort to an evil act for the right reasons.”
Mrs. Robards stopped talking and took a sip of tea. Ginny could feel her mother shifting uncomfortably beside her, and her father had reached across Ginny to comfort his wife. Ron and Hermione were sitting in a way that it looked as if they were joined at the hip, while holding hands. They weren’t making eye contact with anyone.
“We were informed that Harry had killed to stop the prison break,” stated Mrs. Robards. “Ginny that doesn’t make him a bad person or evil. What he did was within his rights as an Auror and a guard. He knows that, but that doesn’t mean that he likes himself.” She stopped talking and gave her an appraising look. “Ginny, dear, don’t be surprised if he wants to break up with you.”
“What, who told you,” exclaimed Ginny, shocked that she said that. The rest of the room sat up in shock at what Ginny had revealed.
Mrs. Robards smiled warmly at her. She almost looked as if she might start laughing. “I am sorry,” she chuckled. “I am not laughing about your reaction or the present situation. Looking back to Gawain and my troubles, it is difficult not to laugh. You see, Ginny, Gawain felt dirty. He felt he was no longer good enough for me. I could see Harry thinking the same thing about you. I can tell by the look in his eyes when he talked about you that he saw you as being special, better than everyone else in the world.
“Gawain just picked a very bad time to tell me. This all happened when our first child, Jason wasn’t more than six months old. Gawain had been given time off until an investigation could be preformed, and his mental stated improved. He was off work for about a month, until he was given clearance to go back.
“His first day back, I thought everything was fine. He was able to put everything behind him and move on with his life. What I didn’t know was he still thought of himself as a dark wizard, and felt I would be better off without him.
“Instead of going to work, he went to a barrister to file for a divorce from me. I was feeding our son, when he opened the kitchen door. I stood up and ran to the back door to see why he was home with our son still attached to my breast. There stood Gawain holding the papers to start the divorce proceedings. He told me what his plans were and I became enraged that he would even consider that at a time like that.
“I was so angry that I wanted to lash out at him. I was holding Jason and couldn’t put him down to grab my wand, so I kicked Gawain. Hard! Very Hard! He crumpled to the kitchen floor, and laid there for at least an hour.”
Mrs. Robards stopped talking and laughed at the scene playing before her eyes. Ron and Hermione were quietly sniggering to themselves, while her parents seemed to be slightly more subdued.
“Harry told me to find someone else,” stated Ginny. The laughter stopped in the room at her statement. “I wanted to curse him for saying such a thing. I was in too much of a panic about his physical condition and was able to manage my anger. He thinks he is just like Voldemort.” Ginny looked over at her brother and Hermione. She wanted to ask them about Voldemort, but decided against it. “I told him he wasn’t, and he didn’t need to feel any remorse for what he had done. He had the right to do anything he could to stop the prison break.”
“Ginny, you shouldn’t have said that!” shouted Hermione. Her sudden outburst made everyone jump. “He needs to feel sorry and remorseful. What he did was a terrible act, and…”
“He acted properly, Hermione,” retorted Mr. Weasley. Ginny had never seen her father so animated. “He performed his duty as an Auror, with full authority by the Ministry.”
“What he did was legal, Mr. Weasley. However, it wasn’t ethical and it could make him end up like Voldemort.”
“Harry! End up like Voldemort. Harry Potter a Dark Wizard,” scoffed Mr. Weasley.
“Yes and no, he might not become a dark wizard, but just as bad off, because he has killed someone.” Hermione was searching for a way of saying something, which she didn’t want Wendy Robards to hear.
“I cannot believe that you think that Harry could end up like Voldemort. That Molly could end up like Voldemort,” insisted Mr. Weasley.
The entire room went silent. Mr. Weasley scrubbed a hand across his face, while everyone else stared at Mrs. Weasley. Ginny had forgotten about her mother killing Bellatrix Lestrange. She started to recall after the battle, how her mother had been in a terrible state. She had always assumed it was because of Fred’s death. Maybe it wasn’t the only reason.
“Mum, what did you feel like after you stopped Bellatrix?” asked Ginny. She felt her father’s arm over her shoulder again trying to comfort her mother.
“Terrible, I could barely function to do my normal daily activities. Ginny, dear, I almost left the family, for many of the same reasons that Gawain wanted to leave his family. Your father gave me the courage and love to continue on. It wasn’t until after we had saved all those people down in Australia, that I started feeling alive again.”
“Does she look like Voldemort, Hermione,” stated Mr. Weasley.
“It isn’t on the outside, but the inside. Murder splits the soul of the murderer. The only way to prevent that or heal it is to feel remorse for the killings,” stated Hermione.
“She is right, Arthur,” Mrs. Weasley stated very simply. “I needed to realize that and allow myself to feel remorse for killing Bellatrix, before I could start to come around and act normally.” Mrs. Weasley grabbed Ginny’s hand and gently squeezed it. “I may regret killing Bellatrix, but I don’t regret why I did it. Even knowing the pain it would cause, I would do the same thing again in a heartbeat.”
Ginny put her arms around her mother and hugged her. She couldn’t think of anything else to do to thank her.
“How do you know that Hermione?” queried Mr. Weasley.
“It’s in a book that I have. I – I can’t talk right now,” Hermione said as she shot a side-ways glance at Wendy Robards.
Mrs. Robards noticed it. “If you are concerned about revealing anything top secret, I can assure you that I have clearance to top secret information. Hermione, if this information will be helpful in the future to Ministry officials who find themselves in Harry’s situation, I want to know it. There have been good people who couldn’t deal with what they did and fell apart: some committed suicide, others drank themselves to death, and others turned dark.”
Hermione looked at her and bite her bottom lip, while she was doing that, Ron spoke to her. “Hermione, they don’t need to know everything. Do they, love. Maybe if we tell them some of it, it will be enough.”
“Ginny, how much has Harry told you about our mission?” Hermione asked.
“Not much more than what he revealed to the Wizengamot, Hermione. I really don’t want him to relive that experience.” Ginny laughed a rather sad and forlorn laugh.
“All right, well, when we were trying to accomplish our mission, we learned a great deal about what happens when a person murders using magic. It appears that the soul is split or torn in two. The only way that it can be healed is for the person to feel remorse for killing someone.”
“What if that person doesn’t feel remorse?” asked Mrs. Robards. “What difference does it make?”
“It leaves your soul torn forever,” emphatically stated Hermione.
“You will need to explain more than that,” retorted Mrs. Robards. “I want to know how you came to these conclusions.”
“Stop it!” shouted Ron. He had stood up and was standing in front of Hermione, as though he was protecting her. “You people will need to trust us. We have been sworn to secrecy on these matters. Hermione has already told you what you need to know. If that isn’t good enough for you, then you all can sod off.”
“Ron,” exclaimed Hermione, shocked at him telling his parents to sod off.
“Ronald, don’t you speak to us that way,” growled Mrs. Weasley. “We raised you better than to talk like that.”
“Maybe you did, Mum, but I am tired of everyone wanting us to revel things that we promised to keep secret. Stop interrogating Hermione, she can’t tell you anymore. Don’t you think the two of us are just as worried about Harry as anyone else in this room?”
“Would you tell Minister Shacklebolt your secrets,” asked Mrs. Robards. “I can tell that you two don’t trust me. If I were to get Kingsley, would you explain it to him?”
Ron looked at Hermione and they seemed to nod to each other. “Yes we can do that,” replied Ron.
“Good! I’ll get him and be right back here.” She stood up and marched out of the room.
Everyone else sat there in silence. Ginny watched as Ron sat down and wrapped an arm around Hermione, comforting her. It hurt Ginny to see that. It wasn’t that she was actually jealous. She just wanted Harry to be there, so she could try to do that to him. It would make her feel better than she feels now. She felt useless. What she had done might have been the wrong thing to do, but she will try to correct it.
The hangings on the windows to the operating room suddenly opened. Healer Maris had opened them with a flick of her wand, before opening the door. “Everything is cleaned up in there. You may go back in if you wish, Miss Weasley. Remember that he will not be waking up for at least eleven more hours. Good day to you,” she finished addressing Ginny and left the room.
Ron and Hermione had walked over to one of the windows, while Maris was talking to Ginny. They stood there staring through the glass at Harry. Ginny stood up with her parents and joined her brother and best friend at the window.
“He looks so pale,” uttered Hermione. Her voice was so low that she might actually have been saying it to herself.
Ron tightened his grip around her waist to reassure her. “He will get better, Hermione. You don’t need to worry about that.” He kissed his girlfriend on the side of her head. “Ginny, what exactly had happened to him. Did anyone tell you?”
“He was hit with a broken board that left pieces of wood imbedded in his back. One piece had punctured his lung.”
“Blimey,” muttered Ron.
“Does anyone know anything about Legilimency?” she asked everyone in general.
“I know what it is, but why do you want to know?” replied her father.
“Can you perform it accidently?” she could feel everyone’s eyes shift towards her.
“No, I don’t think you can do that,” stated her father thoughtfully. “One must be trained to perform it with a wand, and there are even those few who can perform it wandless.”
“I just did it. I entered Harry’s mind and saw what happened at Azkaban thought his eyes and ears. He didn’t even know that I was in his mind.”
“How? When?” asked a shocked Hermione.
“When they were taking out the last piece of wood, he was in a great deal of pain. I was looking in his eyes telling him that I was there for him, when suddenly I was seeing what happened through his memories.”
After Ginny had stopped talking, everyone was quiet. She wasn’t sure why they were, but they were. Her mother had her arms around her shoulders. Her father was behind her slightly to the other side of her from her mother. He looked deep in thought and his eyes went from the sleeping form of Harry to her. Ron and Hermione were looking at her reflection in the window. They all seemed to be standing without speaking for an unnaturally long period of time. It was Ron who asked the question that seemed to be on everyone’s mind.
“Who did he kill – er – what happened,” he mumbled out.
“Dolohov and Greyback seemed to be leading the escape. They had many of the prisoners at the main gate, and were trying to get out. Harry was running up a hall to confront them, when he was attacked by several prisoners. One hit him with a board, lodging the pieces of wood in his back. While he was recovering from the attack, he heard Dolohov tell everyone that they shouldn’t go after Harry, but us. Greyback insisted on seeking revenge on Hermione and me.
“Harry went mental with anger. He partially healed his wounds and went on the attack. He wasn’t trying to kill them all, just trying to keep them from escaping. He did kill Dolohov with the Killing Curse and I am pretty sure that Greyback died of his injuries also. The rest died when he destroyed the main gates and the wall above them. They were all huddled by the gates. The prisoners only had six wands amongst them, and were using the other prisoners as shields. When the gates and wall collapsed, they couldn’t run fast enough to avoid being crushed.”
Ginny finished talking and leaned against the glass staring at him. She was lost as to how to heal him; how to take away his pain and make him whole again. Her mother started doing something strange. She started to braid Ginny’s hair.
“You know my dear that we are all here for you and Harry. You don’t need to do this alone.”
“I want to be the one to help him. I appreciate all your help and support, but I want to be there for him.”
“Ginny, dear, you will need help with this. You also have your Quidditch career to think about,” countered her mother, while working with her hair.
“I have already told Gwen that I might not be back for awhile. She said that she would keep a spot open on the team for me.”
“Well, if you are going to insist. I still think you should take Harry back to the Burrow and stay out of the public eye, until he is well enough. Merlin only knows what the public will think about what has happened. Some will probably congratulate him and others want him put into Azkaban. He will need some time alone to get his mind right again.
“I know that going to Australia was good for me. It gave me some time away from the insanity that was happening here. Having you four also helped, it made me feel good to see all of you finally falling in love.” She finished securing Ginny’s braid, and put a hand on each of her shoulders. “We will need to surround Harry with people who love him. Hopefully, that will help him, as he endures all the internal torment that comes with what he has done. It helped me, dear.”
Ginny reached up and placed a hand on her mother’s hand. It felt good to hear her mother talking like this. Knowing she had the support of her parents, Ron, and Hermione, gave her the encouragement to feel that she could actually do this. If they would have fought her, it would have made life much more difficult on her and Harry.
The door at the other end of the room opened. Minister Shacklebolt, Gawain Robards, and Wendy Robards entered the room. They all had serious expressions on their faces as they walked up to the Weasley’s at the window.
“Hermione, I understand that you have some important information that you won’t reveal, because of security reasons.”
“Yes, Minister, it relates to what we did when we stopped Voldemort.”
“It is related to making Horcruxes?”
“Yes, it is.” Hermione’s voice changed and started to sound like a professor lecturing a class. “To make a Horcrux, one must split their soul, by murdering someone with magic. That act splits the soul allowing the person to place their soul fragment into a vessel and that vessel becomes a Horcrux.
“The only way for an individual to release their soul fragment from the vessel and reconnect or heal their soul is to feel remorse for what they have done. I therefore assume that anytime that a person commits a magical murder than they split their soul and can’t repair it until they finally feel remorse for killing.”
“What if it’s self defense,” countered Gawain.
“I don’t know, but I would imagine that it makes no difference,” she stated.
“So you are saying that all someone has to say is ‘I’m sorry’ and they are healed,” Gawain tested her.
“I don’t think so. It is something so basic that it doesn’t matter what you say, but what you think.”
“What happens if someone doesn’t feel remorse for what they did?” asked the Minister.
“They will end up like Voldemort…” Hermione was interrupted by the muttering of the three. “Hold on, When I said end up like Voldemort, I didn’t necessarily mean a dark wizard. Harry crossed the veil, when Voldemort hit with the Killing Curse during the battle. He saw what Voldemort’s soul looked like in the afterlife.”Hermione stopped talking and shuttered a little. “It was a horrid thing as he described it. A mangled twisted replica of a human being, and it appeared to be wracked with pain. That is what awaits those who cannot feel remorse for killing, like Voldemort.”
Ginny was suddenly filled with dread and understanding. She now realized why Harry was so afraid, but she was also worried for her mother. Did her mother feel enough genuine remorse to heal her soul, could Harry. She doesn’t want to think about their deaths, but she doesn’t want either one to feel pain in anyway.
She reached out and grabbed her mother’s hand again. When Kingsley walked in, they had separated from each other and now stood side by side. She could feel her mother trembling. Her father already had an arm around her shoulders, so the only thing she could do is hold her hand for support.
“So if someone feels genuine remorse they will be saved from this eternal suffering,” questioned Kingsley. He almost sounded sardonic when he asked the question.
“Look Minister, we are telling you about things that no one else have any idea,” countered Ron. He looked to be angry, but kept his voice under control. “Very few people have ever made a Horcrux, and Harry is the only person that I have ever heard of dying and returning to life again.”
Kingsley held up his hand to quiet Ron. “I didn’t mean to say that I didn’t believe you. It just seems too easy to me to avoid this horrible fate. All a person has to do is to say ‘I’m sorry’ and they are automatically better.”
“It isn’t as simple as that,” state Hermione. “In the book that had information about Horcruxes, it described the rejoining of a person’s soul as terribly painful. I don’t think it is as simple as saying ‘Oops I didn’t mean that’. If one is truly sorry, it is internally painful to them. Voldemort felt no remorse. He felt no pain for killing others.
“I am sorry if I don’t have any more proof than what I can offer you now, but I am concerned about Harry. He has seen things that have him scared. He believes these things that I have told you. I am not trying to tell you that you are all wrong. I am just trying to tell you what we have learned. I am just trying to help my best friend. All right?”
“Hermione, I didn’t actually mean to belittle you or tell you that you are wrong. I am just trying to understand what you are saying, so this information can be used to help others. You are not the only ones in this room who are concerned about Harry. However, there are others who have gone through the same anguish that he is going through right now. I want to be able to help them also. As the Minister of Magic it is my responsibility to help all of the magical society.”
Minister, you can’t tell others about how we discovered this,” stressed Hermione.
“Not everyone, but we may have to tell some Healers so they can help others.”
Kingsley kept talking to Ron and Hermione, but Ginny tuned them out. She turned again to look at Harry sleeping on the bed. She was afraid for him. She didn’t want him to suffer, but if he must do that now to help him later, than she will support him and reassure him until he is better.
Without saying anything to the others, she opened the door and walked into Harry’s room. He was all she could focus on now. Sitting down on the chair that Healer Maris conjured, she gently stroked Harry’s hair. It was still dirty, but she didn’t care. She was trying to comfort him. He might not be able to feel her touch, but that didn’t deter her from touching him. Running her fingers over the contours of his face, she leaned forward and kissed him gently on the forehead.
“I am here for you, love,” she whispered to him. “I know you can’t hear me, but I want you to know that even though you may hate yourself right now, I still love you. I will always love you, and will be here for you even if you don’t want me. Hermione told me about Voldemort. I know you are worried, but I believe what she said about the need to feel remorse for killing. She said that you will feel pain because of it.” She stopped and kissed him again. “I want you to know that I will be here to help kiss away the pain. I won’t let you suffer alone, no matter how much you want to. You are not alone anymore, Harry. You have me now for the rest of your life, and beyond.”
Ginny moved her hands out over his shoulders to gently embrace him as she leaned forward to lay her head next to his. She let out a contented sigh to be near him again, when she heard the door shut behind her. Looking up she saw her father walking towards her.
“Harry is very lucky to have someone like you, pumpkin.”
Ginny was slightly taken back by her father’s praise. “I just love him, and only doing what anyone in love would do.”
“Not everyone would be able to take the troubles that seem to follow Harry. You are a very strong woman, and I couldn’t be prouder of you.” He pulled his wand out and conjured a chair to sit in. After he sat down beside her, he continued to talk. “I came in here to talk to you about Harry’s healing process. Let us help. By us, I am including your mother, Ron, Hermione, and even Andromeda and Teddy. Please don’t try to push us away and try to take care of Harry by yourself.
“If it hadn‘t been for the trip to Australia, I am not sure that your mother would have recovered so quickly. It was seeing everyone happy and together at Regi’s house that put your mother’s pain behind her.” He stopped again and looked at her then the windows, as if he was checking to see if anyone was listening. “I believe what Hermione said about the damage one does when they kill another person. If anyone had deserved to die for their crimes it was Bellatrix. I just know that your mother had had terrible nightmares because of what she did. Ginny, I think that she still has them at times. Don’t tell her that I know. She tries to keep them from me, but I can tell when she has had a restless night.
“The thing I wanted to tell you that this will be a long and tedious process. Please don’t lose heart if Harry doesn’t respond quickly. He will come around. With you by his side supporting him and letting him know he is deserving of your love, he will overcome this.”
She was surprised that her father would say that. He had always treated like a six year old. It had always bothered her, but now he just spoke to her as if she was a full grown adult, not someone to be protected and mollycoddled. “Thank you, Dad,” she barely said. Her throat was tight from emotion from her father’s praise.
He stood up and kissed her he gently on the head. “Sometimes I have a hard time remembering that you are a grown woman, Ginny, but you have become a very beautiful and mature woman. It kind of makes me feel old,” he laughed at his last statement.
Ginny also chuckled at his statement. It made her feel good to realize that he saw her that way. It had seemed that he would always look at her as some immature little girl with pigtails and missing teeth. She watched as her father left the room. He walked over to her mother and put and arm around her. He whispered something in her ear, before looking back at Ginny. Her mother walked away from her father and opened the door to the room. She walked over and sat down beside Ginny without saying anything. Both of them sat there in silence for awhile.
Ginny turned her attention back to Harry. She wanted to touch him and speak to him to let him know that she was there.
“I am thinking about having Christmas towards the end of the month, possibly combining it with New Years,” her mother said, suddenly breaking the silence in the room.
“What?” The mention of Christmas caught Ginny completely off guard.
“Bill and Fleur wanted to take Victoire to France for Christmas. They could do that and still have Christmas with us. That would also give Harry some time before we completely fill the house with people.” She smiled at Ginny. “Hopefully we will be able to have him in good spirits by then.”
“What Mrs. Robards said about others having turned dark, to drinking, or – or suicide bothers me. I won’t let that happen to Harry, Mum. I won’t. I can’t,” Ginny choked out the last words as tears threaten to fall. She stopped talking to control her emotions. She needed to be in control. She needed to be strong, if Harry is going to survive and fully recover.
“Ginny, you will not be able to do this alone. Didn’t your father speak to you about this?”
“Yes. He did, Mum. I’ve been away from Harry for so long that I ache to be near him. I don’t want to leave his side day or night. I don’t care what you and Dad thinks. I want to be with Harry. It isn’t like we will be doing anything, or that we have ever done anything. I just don’t want to be away from him. I know you two think that we have been shagging. Hell, Bill and everyone at Hogwarts thinks we did that night before the memorial service…”
“No! We didn’t. I was cut up about returning to the school. I couldn’t get the memories of the battle out of my head. I crawled into bed with Harry so he could comfort me. I just needed someone to hold me. He did that. He held me, kissed me, and told me he was there for me. He took away my pain that night. I can now remember the battle without breaking down because of what Harry did for me. Now it is my turn to heal him.”
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