Chapter 1 : Your homework is too big to summon?
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A/N: I WON THE LOTTERY!!
Okay... no I didn't. Wouldn't that kick butt though?
Still own NOTHING! Including all the characters and places you've heard of in the story below. You know, Harry, Snape... earth, the sun. Oh, also, I don't own Twilight, it's mentioned in here. All those places too... So, if you sue me, you'd get like... um, debt? Ha! Then YOU'D get all the annoying phone calls!
"What happened now?" Came the annoyed and somewhat amused scorn from Malfoy.
"Potter." Was Snape's only reply.
"He didn't do anything!" Ron and Hermione spoke up at the same time, jumping to Harry's defense.
"It was SNAPE!" Ron continued on.
"Professor Snape." Snape corrected.
"Psh," Ron continued. "We're dead, in case you haven't noticed, I don't have to call you professor anything anymore."
Although no one could see a thing, it was quite clear that they all were, in fact, quite dead (at least, for now). It was pitch black where ever it was they were, but they also all knew they were surrounded by their classmates.
"I'll tell you what happened." Harry growled, speaking up for the first time. "Someone gave the headmaster a muggle book."
As one, everyone groaned. The headmaster was dangerous reading a road sign, who would give the man a muggle book?
"HARRY?!" This time, Hermione leaned over and pushed at Harry's arm which his head was propped up on, finally gaining his attention in the crowded great hall.
"WHAT Hermione?!" Harry snapped back at her.
"Dumbledore is attempting to get your attention." She seethed back, annoyed that he was now annoyed with her.
Glancing at the teachers table, Harry saw that Dumbledore was indeed, attempting to get his attention. Just as he was about to stand and make his way to the table, Dumbledore made hand gestures for him to remain where he was. Continuing to watch the headmaster for another twenty minutes or so, as he was using a form of absurd sign language, Harry was finally able to understand that Dumbledore wanted to speak with him following breakfast, before his first lesson: potions.
"You want me to do what, Sir?" Harry was seated in Dumbledore's office, where he had just heard the headmasters latest idea for Harry to use on Snape in class. He was looking a bit sick at the daunting task awaiting him in potions.
"Get Snape outside. Shouldn't be too difficult, should it? That is your new potions homework assignment, not what Professor Snape assigned you. Got it? Wonderful!!!" With that, Dumbledore handed Harry a paperback book, the inspiration for his latest, and most insane idea to date. Harry took the book, and made his exit.
On his way to class, Harry kept glancing at the book in his hands. Twilight. If he ever found out who gave the headmaster a muggle book, he was going to hurt them. A lot.
"Homework out, everyone!" Snape called as soon as everyone was seated, and quickly began making his rounds, snatching parchment off the desks in a bit of a frenzy, seemingly wanting to get it done and over with.
All was fine. That is, of course, until he got to Harry's desk.
"Where is your homework now, Mr. Potter?" He asked, automatically. Then he quickly cringed as he realized what he had said and to whom. He looked up to the ceiling, with a look that he wished he could take his question back and continue on.
"Outside, Sir." Was Harry's reply.
Snape merely glared at him before speaking.
"And why did you not bother to bring your homework inside Mr. Potter?"
"It wouldn't fit."
"It wouldn't fit?"
"That's correct, Sir. It wouldn't fit."
"The homework was only a foot long essay! How can that not fit in the castle?!"
"It ended up being a lot bigger."
Harry began to panic. There was no way he could do that.
"I can't do that, Sir."
"It's too big!"
"You're homework is too big to summon?"
"No, Sir, honestly! It's too big to fit in the castle!"
"Well, if you wont do it, then I will!"
To Harry's horror, Snape pulled out his wand.
"Accio Potters homework!"
"Potter, what the heck did you just do?" Snape asked.
"I didn't do a dang thing, SIR," was Harry's icy reply. "YOU just ended life on earth!"
"Actually, Severus, that would be my fault." Dumbledore spoke up. "I asked young Harry here to get you outside into the sun. As his homework. I was reading this wonderful new book called Twilight where vampires glitter, and well, I was never quite sure if you were a vampire or not, and as I've never seen you outside before, I assigned Harry the task."
"Yea, so, sir," Harry put a lot of sarcasm into the word sir. "You summoned the sun, and killed us all. Thanks!"
A/N: Okay, okay. It's REALLY short, and not all that great, but... it was this or nothing, and I REALLY miss writing these things! I never thought it would be difficult to come up with MAGICAL reasons for not doing homework, you know?!
As always R&R please!
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