Chapter 1 : For A Pessimist I'm Pretty Optimistic
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"This is bloody ridiculous! You know damn well what people will say if they find out!"
"I can't believe you! How can you say all those things and not even mean them! You said yourself you were ready to tell people, ready to show them you’ve changed! And now you just want to take all that back?"
"Well why does it matter to you if I do? I can do what I damn well please. If I want to keep this under wraps, I can. So sorry if that gets in the way of your picture perfect world, Granger!"
The brown-haired woman grimaced. This was the third time this week the head boy and girl had had an intense argument following one of their nights in the common room together. Every dispute had been about the same topic: when they would let the world know that a Slytherin and Gryffindor were romantically involved.
"You are the most despicable boy I have ever met! You twist everything so it's to your benefit and let everyone else make the effort! I can't even look at you for another second without hurling!” And with that, Hermione Granger ran up to her room and slammed the door full force.
'And there she goes again. Why does she always have to run off and slam a door? She must think that’s the only way to get her point across.'
Draco ran a hand through his platinum locks, disheveling them in agitation, and took a seat on the couch by the fire that had just been lit an hour ago for the couple's enjoyment.
'So much for a romantic night by the fire. Why do we always end up fighting?'
He let out an irritated groan, 'We can't keep going on like this; I mean, it's hardly healthy!’ He was now standing up and pacing the common room, much as he had done the two nights before.
'Why does she always have to push and push and push? Maybe I just want it to stay private for a little while. Can't she understand that?'
'Well, you've already had this going for 3 months, any longer and it will be too late to get it out in the open, and you don't want her to have to deal with hiding this for forever, do you?'
'God, not you again. I swear if there was a surgery where I could get you removed, I would get it in a heartbeat.'
These fights often ended in the scenario that was playing out right now: Hermione running to her room leaving Draco to pace back and forth while thinking to himself and fighting with his conscience.
'Well, I'm not going anywhere, so get over it. Now, down to business. Why did she say all this too you... again?'
'She thinks I'm running away from all this. That has to be why she keeps bringing it up.'
'Then prove to her you're not running away.'
'How can I show her I want this to work if I don't even know if I do?’ With that as his last thought, Draco made his way to his room to turn in early.
Draco wasn't the only one having an internal battle. Hermione had been in her room for the past 10 minutes, her heart and mind combating it out.
'He'll come around; I know he will!'
'Wow, how much more are you going to trust him? He's already gone back on his word three times! Three strikes, you're out buddy!'
'Oh, just shut up. I don't want you involved in this.'
'Well, it's a little late for that. I'm your brain, and I'm here to stay. Now, down to business. Why did you say all that to him... again?'
'I don't know. It just tumbled out of my mouth before I even knew what I was saying. Like my tongue was conspiring against me. Wait a minute... that's your doing!'
'Took you long enough. And why do you think I make you say all those things repeatedly? I'm trying to show you something, you just don't want to look!'
'No, what you're trying to do is ruin everything!'
'Okay honey, am I going to have to spell it out for you? HE DOESN'T WANT THIS TO WORK. He only agreed at the beginning because he was having a bout of insanity much like you are now, talking to yourself.'
Hermione froze with the thought that entered her mind. Was it true? Had she really been blind to his indifference all along?
Hermione was brought out of her thoughts by her mirror, "Go to sleep dear. I think you need it tonight."
The next day brought sunshine into the heads' rooms, greatly contrasting the mood still left from the night before. Both woke before their alarms, dressed, and made their way to the common room. At the sight of the other, both immediately turned around and went back into their rooms. They remained that way for 10 minutes, until both exited from their rooms at the same time… again. This time, however, Draco looked as if he were going to say something and then, as if realizing what he was about to do, hurriedly made his way to the portrait hole and left before Hermione could even say good morning.
The rest of the day continued much to the same effect. Whenever the two passed in the halls, Draco would stop, as if about to make conversation, and then turn around and walk in the other direction. Hermione wasn't the only one noticing his weird behavior now. While the two had been keeping their relationship hush-hush, they had still maintained that they were enemies by throwing well-rehearsed insults at each other throughout the day. Now that he wasn't doing that, others began to notice the awkwardness between the two.
Of course, Ron and Harry remained oblivious to all this. On the other hand, Ginny had noticed from the start and insisted on talking to her, so Hermione had agreed to meet her in the library after dinner. The closer dinner got, the more Hermione looked forward to being able to share her qualms with someone; as she arrived in the library, she went immediately to a table in the back corner, hidden by various bookshelves and out of sight to most of the library. Ginny arrived not long after and began to interrogate her with questions.
“Okay spill. How long has something been going on between you two? Why is he acting so awkward around you? Why haven’t you told me any of this? Is he a good kisser?”
“Merlin’s pants, Ginny! Where did that come from?”
“Well, it’s legitimate question. That is a very important deciding factor in all this.”
Ginny grinned from ear to ear as Hermione began to explain everything, “Well, we’ve been on ‘friendly’ terms for three months now, and this week we decided we would spend some more time together. We had been hanging out in the common room together. I’ve been trying to convince him for the past three nights that we should tell people, but he keeps avoiding it, saying that everyone will have a cow or something along those lines. So last night when we had a row, I refused to deal with it and went to my room. He’s been avoiding me ever since.”
“Ok, you answered all of my questions except for one,” Ginny had a mischievous gleam in her eye.
“Who says I’m one to kiss and tell?” Hermione countered, sending Ginny into a fit of squeals.
“So you have kissed him!”
“Shhh, keep your voice down! I just got done saying we’re keeping this a secret.”
Unfortunately, her squeal had caught someone’s attention, a certain Slytherin who had been in the library to avoid a certain Gryffindor. Of course, now that he thought about, the library was a thick place to hide from the bookworm, seeing as she was always in there. Now that he was aware of their conversation, he moved a bit closer to their table.
‘Now I can do some serious prying.’
“Okay, so he doesn’t want anyone to know about you two. What a typical Slytherin, sneaking around every corner.”
“I know, and he thinks I’m going to go along with this forever. I’m not dim. Either he’s changing his mind or it’s over. We can’t compromise on this issue.”
“Well, I’m glad to see the Hermione I know is still there.”
“You know, it’s weird. A couple times today, it was almost as if he was about to apologize, but then he would stop at the last second. Why does he keep holding himself back?”
“I don’t know, but it sounds like he’s starting to get sick of hiding it. Either he’s close to telling everyone, or he’s close to ending it.”
“That’s what I like least about this. For once, I’m not in control of what happens. I have to wait for him to do something.”
“Wait a minute, no you don’t. You don’t have to wait for him to change his mind. You could change it for him. If you tell everyone, he’ll have no choice but to accept it.”
Hermione smiled at this stroke of genius, “Why hadn’t I thought of that?”
“You were probably too busy going head over heels for him.”
“Oh shut it!
Draco couldn’t believe what he had just heard. Hermione was going to tell everyone about them.
‘How can I prevent this? I could ask her not to tell, but then she would know I pried. Why would I care if she knows I overheard her conversation? It’s her fault she had it in such a public place.’
Draco continued to run ideas through his head while he retreated to the common room.
‘Well, one thing’s for sure, she noticed how much of a tosh pot I was today. I don’t even know why I kept stopping and staring at her, especially in the corridors in front of everyone. How dim can I get? Then again, I’m sure people noticed how wonky I was being today and they’re wondering why. Maybe… maybe I could tell everyone before she does. Do I really want people to know though?’
‘Well well well, sounds like you need my help again.’
‘Do you ever go away?’
‘Nope. So, you can’t decide whether to let her tell the world or let the cat out of the bag for her. Tough choice, tough choice.
‘I already knew it was tough or I wouldn’t have been contemplating it for so long. If you’re going to be here, at least be helpful.’
‘Okay, fine fine. Do you love her?’
“Whoa! Where did that word come from?’
‘Well, it’s not like I pulled it out of thin air. It was floating around in here. I think you’ve been trying to hide it.’
‘I have not been thinking that! I don’t think such things 3 months into.’
‘Sure…. I’m just telling you the truth.’
‘Well it must be a truth from another dimension, because that word has not been ANYWHERE near my head during the last 3 months.’
‘You’d be surprised how many times I’ve counted it in here.’
‘I’m in a dilemma here! If I tell everyone, my Slytherin status goes to the lavatory. If I don’t tell everyone, I’ll lose her or she’ll lose my status for me. Honestly, I’m taking pleasure in her company and would like for this to keep on a bit longer. So I guess that I’m going to let slip our closeness before she can.’
‘There! That wasn’t so hard.’
‘Oh shove off, you didn’t even assist me this time.’
Draco paused to mutter the password, and then attempted to pass through the entrance. Had he been paying attention, he would have seen someone exiting at the exact same time.
Both landed quite painfully right outside the portrait hole, stopping a great number of students in their tracks. They all hoped to witness yet another Draco/Hermione spat of spectacularness.
“Watch where you’re going, Malfoy. Does it take so much concentration for you to walk that you can’t pay attention to your surroundings?”
“Normally no, today however is a special circumstance.” This reply caught Hermione off guard, giving Draco a chance to begin spilling what had been on his mind all day. “Look Hermione, I realize you want to tell people about…”
“Are you sure you want to discuss this here?” Hermione questioned.
“Yes, I want to chat about it here and now. I realize you want to tell people about us, and that’s fine; I’ve accepted it. You’ll just have to let me add some zest to our announcement,” he responded, standing up and reaching a hand to Hermione in the process.
“And what kind of zest might that be?” She asked, taking Draco’s proffered hand and getting to her feet.
What followed wasn’t your ordinary kiss, this was a back bending, breath stealing, stars in front of your eyes kiss. And of course by breakfast the next morning, everyone knew.
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