Chapter 2 : Chapter 2
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The first time was with a girl called Jasmine of all things, and had happened in sixth year after we had been dating just over six months. I accidently walked in on them in the Quidditch changing rooms just after he had won the second match of the year. I can still see them even now, her hands buried in his famously messy hair whilst one of his hands caressed her thin dark thigh and the other had slipped under her shirt.
I had been so mad, but soooo incredibly in love that I’d stupidly taken him back after he had hounded me for the following three weeks, writing me stupid love notes and sending me bunches of flowers. I had been a sucker for the flowers.
The second time was Jenny Walters, who according to him had tricked him into sleeping with her whilst he was drunk during the celebrations when Gryffindor won the cup a few months later.
It took him a summer of letters housing so many promises and many more bunches of flowers (what can I say) to convince me that he had changed. And the truth was I so desperately wanted it to be true that I convinced myself that he was a changed man, and indeed when we were alone together he was the best boyfriend you could have wished for.
It was when we were in public that James Potter super TWAT emerged, he insisted that flirting with the other girls was just a part of his act, that it made him who he was, so I being the glutton for punishment that I am, I turned a blind eye, because at the end of the day it was me he always came back to, and he could just be James with me.
I even ignored the rumours, and had serious arguments with Rose that threatened our friendship in such a way that we made a pact to not talk about it.
And now here I am once again, desperately wishing I had heeded her sound advice and not wasted the last two years of my life on him.
I squeeze my eyes tight and press the palms of my hands into my eye sockets trying to stop the images flowing. By this time the dorm room was empty and so I decided to let myself have one good cry to flush him out of my system and then move on.
Oh if only it was that easy.
I let myself sob for a good twenty minutes but even then those horribly familiar feelings of betrayal hadn’t left me and I knew from experience that it would be a while before they went away.
A warm hot shower was the next thing on my list, so I strip off last night’s smelly clothes and wrap myself in a thick warm towel and pad into the bathroom where I precede to drown myself in the shower for the next thirty minutes, and as I step out I feel a bit more human, a broken, humiliated, beaten down human, but still human. I dress in my comfiest sweatpants and a baggy t-shirt that doesn’t belong to James and sit on my bed.
Right next thing to do, plait my hair, which I do quickly and efficiently this is in preparation for the next part of operation get over the super twat, which entails digging out all of his belongings that are in my possession. Just as I begin to attack my wardrobe after having first sorted through my trunk, Rose peeps her head round the door.
“Hey, is everything ok?” she asks eying my state of apparel and my slightly puffy looking eyes, “only James is asking for you and you missed lunch.”
I retreat from the insides of my wardrobe one of James’ Cannons’ t-shirts tucked under my arm.
“I expect he is.” Is my quiet reply, and then turning away from her I say to the window, ”I broke up with him last night.”
There’s silence and then Rose is at my side her arm around my shoulder.
“Oh, hun, I’m sorry.” She says as I lean my head onto her shoulder, “ So is this operation get-rid-of-all-his-stuff then?”
I nod awkwardly as my head is still on her shoulder.
“You know I do find these op’s utterly pointless, as you’ll have all this stuff back in a few weeks.” She says teasingly.
I pull my head off her shoulder and standing up I head towards the wardrobe once more. Just as I reach the open doors I turn back to her and staring her straight in the eye and state determinedly, in that dead sounding voice, “Not this time, I’m done. I’m tired of being humiliated, and completely sick of his games, so were done this time. His loss right.” I add hopefully.
“Right.” She says, although I sense the doubt as she joins me at the wardrobe, she thinks I’ll go back to him, that I’ll forgive him like he thinks I will.
But I won’t, not this time.
After having assembled all of James’ belongings, I still don’t feel up to facing everyone, I might as well leave it ‘til tomorrow, when I have no choice but to go to class. Like the good friend she is, Rose makes a trip down to the kitchens and returns laden with fat filled goodies and we proceed to have a good old girly chat as we lie spread-eagled on my bed. After a measured length of James-bashing our conversation turns to Scorpius; and Rose, blushing furiously, informs me all about her evening with him and how he sat with her at lunch today. Just as we begin discussing Lily’s new boyfriend the door to the room opens and in walks super slut herself Suzie Allen, her rather big boobs straining against the tight white material of her strap top and her dark hair hanging down her back.
Our conversation comes to an abrupt halt. She too seems to be frozen in place, as we both stare at her. Finally she manages to move her feet and crosses the room, our gazes boring into her.
I just don’t get it. Why her? Yes she has a rather impressive set of boobs but that’s it, surely. She’s not funny, she’s pretty much at the bottom of the class, so what is that he sees in her?
As I’m pondering the answer to this question, Suzie speaks up. She had obviously got what she came for and was just about to disappear out of the door when she stated, “Look I’m not sorry about last night, I wanted him, and by the look of things he was more than happy to have me. You’ve only got yourself to blame really, you obviously weren’t enough for him.” With that she slams the door and saunters of down the staircase.
“Bitch.” Shouted Rose after she had disappeared as she chucked my transfiguration book at the door and missed.
Turning to me she said comfortingly, “Just be grateful you didn’t sleep with him.”
“Yeah.” I mutter burying my face into my pillow to stop her from seeing my flushing cheeks, because you see the thing was I had slept with him, stupidly thinking that it might be what I was doing wrong, I had finally given in and slept with him. Merlin I’m such a fool.
After about an hour Rose leaves, and I’m left in the quiet sanctuary of the dormitory.
Just three more weeks I remind myself three more weeks and I’d be rid of him for good. I could go anywhere, do anything and never have to see him again because in three weeks time Hogwarts would be over and I’d have to make own way in the big wide world. Merlin I couldn’t wait. No-one out there would know that James Potter had broken my heart, it would be a fresh start.
But first I had to get through tomorrow.
I awoke early on Monday morning, my stomach churning, probably because in a matter of hours I would have to face them all. Gossip spread like wildfire in this dank castle and by now the majority of its inhabitants would know at the very least that something was going on between us.
Sighing deeply I roll over and shut my eyes but sleep is not forthcoming, instead I head into the bathroom in order to get an early start on making myself look beautiful for the day ahead. I decide to go for the sophistacated look, thus embodying everything that Suzie isn't. After showering and dressing I proceed to dry my hair, letting, I contemplate putting it up but instead decide to leave it down in t's natural waves. I use minimal make up but sweep a hefty lick of dark eyeliner around my eyes.
then proceed to leave the dormitory, brushing past Suzie on my way out. I meet Rose in the common room and we both head down to breakfast. We take our time over breakfast, probably beacause James isn´t there and then when we have eaten our fill we prepare to leave the hustle and bustle of the Great Hall, in a sophisticated manner of course.
But as if on cue as I open the doors and step through them I smack right into a solid chest and promptly wind up on my bum. So much for sophisticated.
So that wasn’t quite how I wanted to start my morning, I was meant to come swooping into the Great Hall stride determinedly up to her and then convince her to forgive me. I was not supposed to open the doors and then knock her down with my rather well built chest.
Anyhow, time to make the best of a bad situation.
I stick out my hand in order to help her out.
Looking up through that luscious light strawberry blonde hair, she scowls and ignoring my gracious arm she manages to scramble up to her feet and then she pushes past me.
It takes me a second to register that she’s completely brushed me off. I really am in deep trouble.
I turn instantly and taking a few steps almost bellow after her, “ABI, hey...Abi look I’m sorry alright.”
She continues to walk away from me her flat pumps slapping angrily upon the marbled hallway.
Well if she wasn’t going to stop then I’d just have to go to her.
I jog up behind her and grab a hold of her arm, forcing her to face me.
Her mouth is set into a stern line and her eyes flicker dangerously.
“I’m not doing this James.” She mutters wrenching her arm from my grip and turning once more away from me.
This time I run around her so once again she’s facing me and I grasp onto her upper arms so she can’t run away again.
“Look ...if you’d just let me...”
“I said I’m not doing this James...especially not here in front of them.” I turn my head slightly and I see that a rather large crowd has amassed in order to watch the showdown. I figure this could work to my advantage.
She tries to free herself from my grip, but I won’t let go.
“Look I can explain...” I begin.
“Explain? Go on then James, explain how you wound up in bed with Suzie Allen, I’m dying to hear how it happened.” She says loud enough for the crowd to hear.
There’s a shocked gasp, obviously that bit of news was new. To my credit my cheeks do flush a little, what can I say I am genuinely ashamed of what I did, but let’s face it not’s cool for them to know that.
“I’m waiting James.”
“It...we...I...it was just a mistake, one big stupid accident...”
“AN ACCIDENT.” She repeats, fuming now, maybe it would have been better if I had done this somewhere more private, regardless of my regrets she carries on, “Oh I get it now, your clothes accidently fell off and then shock horror so did hers and then you both accidently toppled into your bed and then you thought that since you were there you may as make the best of an unhappy accident and shag her, was that how it went?”
“I..um...uhhh...” I can’t really find any words to respond to that with, is there such an answer for that question.
“Yeah I thought not. Guess it wasn’t an accident after all.” she muttered and taking advantage of my moment of weakness she wrenches her arms out of my grip and starts pushing her way through the crowd that has formed on the stairs.
And it hits me, I’m losing her.
This is when something stupid happens, my heart takes over and the next thing I know I’m on one knee in the middle of the Entrance Hall and out of my mouth bursts forth a resounding declaration of, “ABI, I LOVE YOU.”
She hasn’t managed to get very far and as soon as it’s left my mouth she stops dead in her tracks.
My heart is pounding in my chest, because I know I’ve made the biggest idiot out of myself and I for one have never publicly declared my love for someone. The audience stares on in complete silence as she turns once again and makes her way towards me. I get up off my knee and wait hopefully for her.
She gets closer and closer and for a minute I think she’s going to kiss me and we’ll go back to how it was. But instead of brushing her lips against mine, she brings them to my ear and in a voice so low, I can barely hear she whispers, “You don’t know what love is.” As she pulls away I can see her desperately blinking back tears, because I know for a fact that she was completely in love with me. In a louder and thicker voice she states, “Yeah and I bet you were in love with other three girls as well, weren’t you.” There’s a moment’s pause and then “Just leave me alone James.”
She turns away for the final time, and yet again I reach out for her, but she’s expecting it and before I know it there’s and crack and whoosh I am hanging upside down in the middle of the entrance hall.
As soon as she’s disappeared off up the stairs the crowd disperses, and the Entrance Hall is once more filed with lively chatter as people discuss the scene they have just witnessed.
Momentarily I fall in a heap to the ground as someone has obviously muttered the counter curse to her jinx. I look up to find Albus standing over me, his jaw clenching and unclenching, obviously trying not to give me a piece of his mind. I don’t waste time on the floor, but instead scramble onto my feet and try to follow after her only to find a restraining hand on my chest, looking down I see that its Al’s hand stopping me from going where I want to.
“You need to let her go James.” He says evenly, even though I know he’s angry with me.
Rather annoyed at the fact that my little brother is giving me advice. I knock his arm out of the way and reply heatedly, “She’s my girlfriend I’ll do what I want.”
That’s when he says it, “She’s not your girlfriend anymore James, and she’s my friend so you’ll leave her alone.”
What can I say I see red, all that love I was feeling has now turned into anger and rage, directed mostly at myself however Al’s in the firing line which is why moments later, blood is spurting from his nose, and I think I may have broken my hand, Oh and to top it all of Longbottom just happened to leave the Great Hall at that moment and gave us both two weeks detention, before sending us up to the hospital wing, needless to say we didn’t walk there together.
And you know what the worst thing was, he was right, she wasn’t mine anymore.
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