Chapter 18 : Chapter Eighteen: Fault
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made by LittleMiss @ TDA
Chapter Eighteen: Fault
Rose was tucked securely into her hospital bed. Hiding beneath the bright white sheets, Rose felt safe for the time being. They were scratchy and, to Rose, felt as though they were protecting her. They were protecting her from the harsh reality she did not wish to enter anytime soon.
In her hospital bed world, she was all that existed. White surrounded her and there was a gentle breeze that she could feel upon her skin, though there was none; she had imagined it. With her eyes tightly shut, she could see no one and she believed that she was invisible to the real world. She imagined her itchy hospital gown was really a soft green cotton shift-dress. She had never felt more happy and contented in her life. She was at peace and for the briefest moment there wasn’t a single thing that could jolt her from this unreal life.
Her eyelids lifted slightly and the luminescent lights of the hospital room became a small reminder of where she really was. Rose began to feel them shining through her eyelids. It burned.
Trying as she did, there was no way to not open her eyes to her true reality. With the simple act of opening her eyes, Rose was thrust back into the cruel world in which she lived.
Her room was too bright, too white, too everything. There were too many people in the room. Too many machines. Too much light. She just wanted to be left alone.
She saw her mum and dad and Hugo; her parents looked worn and her brother stood beside them listlessly. Grandmum and Grandpa Weasley were also in the room, occupying the chairs by the window. They looked so old, older than Rose had ever seen them. Aunt Ginny and Uncle Harry were much further off than her parents and grandparents, standing near the door. Aunt Ginny’s hair was in disarray and she didn’t have any makeup on. Uncle Harry looked stoic as if he wished no one to know what he was really feeling for his goddaughter.
Al was also in the room, just to the left of Rose. She didn’t notice him at first because he was in her peripherals. Al’s face was settled in a deep frown. His brow was wrinkled and he looked as though he were a decade older than his eighteen years.
Rose didn’t say anything, focusing on not crying. In the hall she faintly heard a commotion. Then a pink-faced Cecelia entered the room in a rush.
“Oh Rose!” she cried, tears beginning to fall down her cheeks.
She threw her arms about Rose, crying. Rose didn’t even realise that she too was crying, sobbing uncontrollably, until Cecelia pulled away slightly to wipe her own eyes.
“I’m so sorry,” she whispered nearly inaudible.
“Where’s Scorpius? Can you find him for me?” Rose murmured. Speaking hurt desperately but she needed Scorpius. She needed him to know and she needed to cry with him. He was the only one she truly needed.
Brushing her lips against her best friend’s temple, Cecelia nodded. “Of course.”
Getting up from Rose’s hospital bed, Cecelia extended a hand to Albus.
Al placed a kiss on his cousin’s cheek. “I’ll find him.”
Silently, the two of them left.
As if a sign, the other inhabitants of the room began to get up and leave. Rose’s grandparents and aunt and uncle gave her wordless hugs and kisses before they left.
It was now only Rose, her parents and her brother.
“We’ll let you rest sweetheart,” Hermione told her softly, her lips barely moving. “If you need us, don’t hesitate to ask.”
Hermione tenderly kissed the top of her daughter’s head.
She moved to the doorway to allow Ron and Hugo say goodbye.
Ron, clearly confused and upset and very sad, couldn’t speak. Instead, he gave his only daughter a watery smile. He held her tear-stained face firmly in his hands and mouthed “I love you.” He released her to join his wife by the door.
“We will wait outside for you, Hugo,” Hermione said.
They disappeared and Hugo was left with his sister.
Hugo didn’t know what to say. Rose didn’t want to burst into yet another fit of tears. Neither of them wanted to accept or acknowledge what had happened. They didn’t want to believe.
Hugo looked at Rose intensely, as if he were in deep thought.
Then he spoke.
“I want,” he swallowed nervously, “I want you to know that I will always – always – be here for you. And I want you to know that I love you and that I know I don’t say it nearly as often as I should. You’re my only sister and I’m your only brother. We’ve only got each other and I want us to be there for each other whenever, for – for whatever. We’ll get through this, together. I’ll be here for you any time, any place.”
Rose couldn’t help but let out a sob.
Hugo, entirely aware of what he needed to do, securely wrapped his arms around his sister. She clung to him in desperation. Comforting her, Hugo ran his hand through her knotted mass of curls.
“Shh Rose. I’m here. We can get through this. Once Scorpius is here too, everything will fall into place. It’s alright.”
“Oh Hugo! I don’t know what to do. I don’t know what to think and I don’t know if I can go on!”
“But you must. You have the rest of your life ahead of you.”
Violently, Rose shook her head, still in Hugo’s embrace. “No. Everything has changed.”
Hugo pulled away and kissed his sister’s head. Heavily, he sighed.
“Maybe you won’t accept that your life will go on now, but you’ll eventually realise it. I’ll be available whenever you need me, but now you should sleep.”
“Hugo?” Rose whimpered as he reached the door.
He looked back at her expectantly.
“I love you.”
“I love you too Rose.”
Disappearing from her sight, Hugo couldn’t shake the feeling that this miscarriage was going to change Rose’s life for the worst.
Hours later after Rose got a dreamless, uncomfortable sleep, Hr. Johannes made an appearance. He was trailed by her parents.
“How are you feeling?” Hr. Johannes asked, worried for Rose’s well-being. Although he wasn’t her actual Healer, it was obvious he cared. It was never easy on a woman who miscarried and it was always harder on the younger patients who had altered their life drastically in order to fit this baby in their life.
Rose stared at Hr. Johannes emotionlessly.
He knew this was going to be a difficult transition.
“I’ve come to tell you and your parents about what happened.”
Ignoring him, Rose called to her mother.
“Have Al and Cecelia contacted Scorpius?” she asked weakly.
“Not yet sweetheart. They’re busy at it right now.”
Solemnly she nodded.
“As I said, I want you to know basically what happened. Please feel free to take a seat Mr. and Mrs. Weasley.
“As it can happen with the majority of miscarriages, there are health problems varying from abnormalities in the uterus or cervix, illness, chromosomal abnormalities, and sometimes there is no defined reason of it occurring. Yours happens to fall under that last category. Hr. Patil-Henderson’s check-ups did not warrant any worry nor did they signal any suspicions of possible difficulties with your pregnancy. Unfortunately, miscarriages are quite common and we have therapy groups available here if you are interested. Many women, especially younger women, find that it helps them cope but it is really up to you.
“I’ll let Hr. Patil-Henderson know that I came in. She’ll be here as soon as she can. And I’m terribly sorry for your loss.”
Hr. Johannes’s eyes were visibly sad and he gave Rose a sorrowful smile that clearly mirrored how he felt for her. Rose however did not feel anything but anger at him.
Promptly, she shut herself off, opting to turn her back to her parents and submit to the fetal position.
Quickly, Rose fell into a sleepless state of unconsciousness. It worried her parents to see her in this way.
Rose had always been the bounce-back kid. When she was much younger, in Muggle primary school, the other kids would poke fun at her mercilessly because she was always having accidents, tripping, spilling things, knocking into things. The moment anyone would begin to say anything, she would stand up taller and ignore them. She never cried when their mean comments stung her or when her accidents resulted in a scuffed knee or bloody chin. Although the current situation was somewhat similar, the magnitude proved too much for Rose to handle. So she resorted to other tactics that would be detrimental in the long-run.
Rose remained distant and reserved when Hr. Patil-Henderson showed up four hours after Hr. Johannes briefed her on what happened.
“Hello Rose,” Hr. Patil-Henderson murmured softly as she entered Rose’s room. “Hello Ron, Hermione. How are we all? Holding up alright?”
“As well as possible, Parvati,” Hermione said, her soul heavy.
“I can only imagine,” Parvati Patil-Henderson sighed. She decided she would remove her Healer mask for a few minutes to sit and be with her friends and their daughter, in whatever way they needed. “I’m terribly sorry Rose. This is certainly not an easy thing to go through. From personal experience, I know, as does your mum most likely. It’s different for every person and I’m sure you know that your parents and family are here for you.”
Rose did not acknowledge Hr. Patil-Henderson and somehow, she knew that it would take time, months even, for Rose to return to her normal emotional and psychological state.
Hermione sent Parvati a concerned look, silently questioning her daughter’s Healer how long she would be like this.
“I’m sorry Hermione and Ron. It’s truly up to Rose when she’ll be back to normal. We can help with therapy, but it is ultimately up to Rose to heal herself. These things take time. That is the only thing that can help Rose now.
“I’ll be back later to give you some information on therapy and other coping venues. We will want to keep Rose in St. Mungo’s for a while, just to assess what we can do to help her. She’ll be placed in a different ward, the short-term psychiatric ward most likely.
“Even if she doesn’t talk or make much of your presence, it is important that you stay with her to give her support and reassurance.”
Hr. Patil-Henderson left quickly.
Hermione reached for Ron’s hand while he pulled her close to his side.
“My poor Rosie. She doesn’t deserve this,” Ron whispered into Hermione’s hair.
“No one deserves this, Ron. No one. Especially our baby girl.”
From their seats by the window, they watched their only daughter, void of the life and exuberance she had once radiated. The girl that rested in that hospital bed was not their daughter, but Ron and Hermione hoped that when Scorpius appeared, a little spark of their daughter would reignite.
But when was the question.
Hugo, Al and Cecelia showed up later that afternoon. When they arrived, Ron and Hermione left momentarily to see if Rose would talk with her friends. Nothing of the sort happened.
Rose remained in her hospital bed and only asked if Al, Cecelia or Hugo had heard anything of Scorpius. When they replied with a negative, Rose returned to being silent.
Cecelia could only take so much of this Rose who had all but given up and yet she refused to leave her best friend. Al eventually dragged Cecelia out of Rose’s room, leaving Hugo alone with her.
Hugo sat with her, holding her limp hand in his own until his parents returned.
Shortly after they did, Hr. Patil-Henderson brought the papers with the options they could pursue to help Rose.
It was then time for any visitors to leave.
The moment her parents left and were far out of view or hearing, Rose burst into uncontrollable sobs.
She cried herself to sleep that night.
The next morning, the first person she saw was a nurse on the St. Mungo’s staff. She addressed herself at Emily.
“Good morning, Miss Weasley.”
“There’s nothing good about this morning,” Rose mumbled.
“Well, you’re alive.”
“But my baby’s not.”
“Your baby was obviously not ready for the world yet, or else you would have been able to carry it to term.”
Rose no longer felt like crying now, nor did she feel like wallowing anymore. Rather, she was quite angry, furious even. Furious at whatever greater power deemed her baby unworthy of life and furious at this person Emily who clearly did not have the right to speak to her in such ways as she was.
“Who the fuck are you to tell me whether or not my baby was ready for the world or not? Who are you?”
“I’m just your morning nurse Emily. I already told you that.”
“I didn’t know that nurses were given the privilege to speak to patients as you are, Emily.”
“Well, I’m a special nurse.”
Rose glared at Emily as she placed a tray on to Rose’s food cart.
“There’s your breakfast Miss Weasley. Enjoy.”
Emily was a pretty girl in her mid-twenties who looked quite angelic. Rose, however, knew that was merely a façade.
“Emily, what made you say what you did?” Rose asked her evenly as Emily was nearly out the door.
Emily turned around. Her face was passive and her eyes were clear.
“Things usually happen for a reason, Miss Weasley, and your miscarriage, as unfortunate as it may have been, must have happened for a reason. Maybe you weren’t ready for a baby and whatever power bestows life and death wanted to let you know this way. Maybe there is a relationship in your life that isn’t working and this is a way of letting you know to end it. Maybe it was to tell you have other things to accomplish before a baby. Maybe it just happened because it could. I really don’t know. I just felt as though you needed to know that.”
Without another word, Nurse Emily disappeared.
Rose stared into her pancakes and sausage.
Silently, she began eating and silently, she began stewing.
Scorpius should have been with her. Scorpius should have owled her back. Scorpius was at fault.
Later that day, after her parents had visited, Rose was moved into the psychiatric ward. Hr. Patil-Henderson introduced her to her new Healer, Hr. Diddams, a tall, skinny woman with peppering hair.
Hr. Diddams was alright, but Rose did not want to talk about her feelings. She didn’t want to divulge how her miscarriage affected her or why she had kept her pregnancy a secret from her parents for as long as she did. How Hr. Diddams knew this tidbit of information, Rose didn’t know. Nor did she care.
The next few days were the same. Rose woke up to Nurse Emily bringing breakfast and fuel for the fire Rose was silently building inside of her. Hr. Diddams would visit shortly after she finished breakfast every day, asking how she was feeling and every day, Rose did not answer the ridiculous questions. Her parents, one or the other but sometimes both, would arrive mid-morning and would stay through lunch. Rose would get another visit from Hr. Diddams and she repeated her routine of failing to answer her questions. After Hr. Diddams would leave, Rose would pace in her room for an hour or so. Then other family members or friends would come to visit. Sometimes, Al, Cecelia, and Hugo would stay for dinner. Rose would always ask if they heard from Scorpius, to which they would reply in the negative. They would leave by half seven at the latest. Then Rose would wander the corridors of the psych ward in which she was imprisoned. At ten, Rose would crawl into the bed in her hospital room and tuck herself in tightly. For hours, she would lie in the darkness, wondering where the bloody hell Scorpius was and why he hadn’t responded in the slightest way. She would wake up the next morning and start it all over again.
Soon enough, ten days had passed since Rose’s miscarriage. The days never varied but for the different visitors she had. Everything else was the same. The food, the conversation, the questions, the answers, the tasks, the walks. Everything.
That is, until July fifth.
It was a Saturday.
Rose had been out on the balcony in the patients’ common room with Hugo. He was detailing their father’s last practice in which he participated.
“And then Galvin did a Wronski Feint. Dorkins blew a fucking gasket. Dad and I were secretly applauding him, course, since it’s a bloody amazing move. Dorkins was going on about Galvin being too old and valuable to be doing a Wronski in a match, let alone in practice. He, Galvin, that is, just brushed Dorkins off. He even pulled me aside to say that he would help me with mine if I wanted.”
“You’re not a Seeker. You’re a Keeper like Dad.”
“So? Anyways, it was probably the best practice of Dad’s I’ve ever been in on. I mean, Gwenog Jones’ nephew, Emrys Coughlin, the new beater this season, wanted to see me in action and whacked a few Quaffles at me after stealing them from Elliot, just for fun. I almost got a concussion.”
“Hugo, that is ridiculous. Playing with professionals. Did you want to be killed?” Rose asked, leaning slightly over the balcony’s railing. “And which Elliot? The girl or the bloke?”
“No. I wasn’t going to be killed. Besides, it wasn’t like he was shooting Bludgers at me. As much as I wanted him too, Dad told him not to. And it was the bird Elliot. She’s the chaser.”
“Really? I thought the bloke Elliot was the chaser.”
“No. Elliot Perkins, the bird, is the chaser while Elliot Kavanagh, the bloke, is the other beater with Emrys.”
“Why don’t you call them by their surnames like every other Quidditch fanatic? It would keep the Elliots in line.”
“Because I’m not every other fanatic. I’m going to be on that team when I’m out of Hogwarts so I need to address them by their first names.”
“You gonna take Dad’s spot?”
“Well, yeah. He’s retiring with Galvin, you know. Not this coming season, but at the end of the season when I’ll graduate from Hogwarts. It works out perfectly, actually.”
“Do you know if you’re going to be Quidditch Captain yet?”
“Fuck no. I wish I did. I mean, Caro Kemply is gone now. James was before her. Fred’s not good enough of a leader. Nev wouldn’t make him Captain. It’s between me and Cal.”
“There’ll be a rivalry there, Hugh.”
Hugo glanced at his sister. This was the first real conversation he had with her since she got to St. Mungo’s. All the other ones just barely skirted the topics of miscarriage, Scorpius, and her various Healers. This was a great deviation from those topics.
“If he gets Head Boy, then Nev will give me Captain, definitely. Otherwise it’s a fucking tossup. But I really want to be Captain. And Cal has Prefect duties too.”
“Alright then Hugo. I hope you get Captain. You will be good at it, I know.”
Hugo was quiet for a while, listening to the noises around them. The balcony was actually peaceful.
“Do you come out to the balcony often?”
“Every day. It helps me think.”
“Everything, Hugo. Everything.”
Nodding in reply, Hugo didn’t want to push Rose to answer things she didn’t want to. After all, he had overheard his parents many times over the course of the past week that Rose wasn’t making any progress whatsoever. At least according to her psychiatrist Hr. Diddams. But this conversation was proving otherwise.
“Let’s take a walk back to my room, huh?”
Following obediently, the siblings made their way toward Rose’s room.
The corridors were quiet and they only passed two people out of the dozens of patients in this ward.
Stepping into her room, Rose stopped short.
In an eerily calm voice, she said, “What are you doing here?”
Hugo searched the room, quickly finding the being to whom Rose was speaking.
“Malfoy,” Hugo practically growled.
“Hugo, leave,” Rose demanded.
“Get out, Hugo.”
Angered, Hugo stalked out of the room leaving the two occupants of the room alone.
Neither moved. Rose stayed planted by the door and Scorpius stayed by the window.
They stared at each other in silence.
Scorpius had planned a whole monologue, but at this point, everything escaped him. Seeing her made him hate himself more than when he first found out.
Rose’s eyes were sharp, her face expressionless. Scorpius couldn’t tell if she wanted him to speak first or if she wanted to scream at him, carry on, stare at him endlessly, pull him into a hug, kill him.
He probably deserved the worst.
“I am so sorry Rose. I didn’t know. I found out only after I got back today, by Alison no less. I ran into her on Diagon Alley. She said it was in all the papers, all the tabloids. The Prophet supposedly had a field day. I went to your house; no one was there. I went to the Burrow, Al’s, Cecelia’s. No one was anywhere. Alison was the one to tell me you were at St. Mungo’s. I just found out hours ago. I’ve been trying to get into here since then. And now I’m here.”
Patiently, Scorpius waited for a response. He waited for something, anything.
“You promised me. You promised me you wouldn’t leave me. You promised you would stay by my side for however long I needed you but you didn’t keep your promise. You left me to fend for myself, to lose my baby all on my own with no support from you whatsoever. I couldn’t reach you by owl, by Floo, nothing. You weren’t there when I needed you most.
“My baby died and you are at fault. I want you to leave me alone. And I never want to see you again.”
The severity in her words cut through Scorpius’ heart.
“Rose, I didn’t know. I was –”
“I don’t want to hear anything more you have to say. You’re too late. Nothing you can say or do will make up for this tremendous betrayal. Now – get – out.”
Rose’s last three words were punctuated with hate and spite.
“You need to hear me out. There wasn’t anything I could do! I wasn’t allowed to owl; I was in a different country, a different fucking continent!” Scorpius cried, trying to make his point.
“Get the fuck out of my room. Leave me alone and don’t ever try to speak to me again.”
Rose’s face was still void of any emotion, but her voice was anything but. Her fury and revulsion was unmistakable.
“But I love you Rose! If I had known, I would have dropped out immed–”
Rose’s mask disappeared and her face mirrored her feelings and tone.
“But I don’t love you anymore! I hate you! I fucking hate you! Now get out of my room before I call the bloody Aurors to drag you out!”
Scorpius froze with those words. His blood turned cold and his heart shattered into billions of tiny pieces.
Without another word, Scorpius walked across the room and pushed his way out.
The corridor felt like it was thousands of kilometres long. It wasn’t until he had Apparated out of St. Mungo’s and into his brand new flat overlooking the Thames, recently purchased by owl the day before in hopes of Rose being able to move in soon, that he broke down.
Little did he know, Rose was in the same state in her hospital room.
The words had barely left her lips and she was fighting to keep back the tears.
She hadn’t truly meant it. She was extremely upset and was therefore directing all her anger and hatred and confusion upon a poor, unassuming Scorpius.
Of course, at the moment, she could barely keep her left from her right so knowing that she didn’t really meant it did not register.
Scorpius had only come back into Britain just that morning. After his unexpected Auror excursion, he wanted to get the key and Floo system for his new flat from Mumbo Wallbanger. Mumbo was more than willing to meet Scorpius first thing that morning. After all, a commission was always accepted.
As he arrived at the realtor office, Mumbo’s bubbly personality was slightly lacking.
“G’morning, Mr. Malfoy. Ready to seal the deal?”
“Of course,” Scorpius replied, extending a hand in a warm welcome which Mumbo took.
He followed Mumbo into his office and signed the last of the paperwork. Mumbo instantly handed him his key and the Floo membership.
“You are now the proud owner of a Docklands flat, complete with a balcony and a view of the Thames. Congratulations.”
“Thanks Mumbo. And thank you for all your assistance.”
Mumbo’s pinkish colouring only became more so under the praise. Shyly, he said, “Only doing my job.”
Scorpius left shortly after that and Apparated to his flat.
He hadn’t wanted to see his parents because they would have only asked him thousands of questions upon questions concerning his training. He only had to bring some of his possessions over from the Manor. But that would be for later.
From his flat, Scorpius Apparated into Rose’s neighbourhood and walked to her house. No one answered the door. He then went to Al’s where, again, no one answered. From Al’s, he went to Cecelia’s to realise that no one was there either. As a result, he made his way to the Burrow. There was not a soul around to let him in and it concerned him.
Making his way to Diagon Alley, he was hoping that one of the Weasleys would be at the joke shop but no one was there either. Walking about Diagon Alley, he bumped into Alison Montgomery and she told him the news.
So he ended up at St. Mungo’s and left with his heart broken.
But he was determined to have Rose hear him out. That was all that mattered to him. Rose. She was his world.
He went back to his flat and sat there in his empty living room for hours. He decided after countless hours to face his parents. No doubt they already knew about Rose thanks to The Prophet and various other venues. They would be furious.
The parlour was immaculate. Slytherin colours. Expensive furniture. A large portrait of Draco, Astoria, and Scorpius Malfoy adorned one of the walls. An enormous chandelier, lit with candles, by magic of course, hung from the cathedral ceiling. Astoria had had a field day decorating the parlour.
Scorpius’ footsteps echoed through the Manor. Someone would hear him soon enough.
Barely ten steps into the Manor, Astoria pounced on her son.
“Scorpius! Oh my god, you’re home!”
She held him to her tightly, as though she hadn’t seen him in ages.
“Mum, please, loosen your grip.”
Pulling back, Astoria apologised. “I’m sorry, dear. It’s just…”
Astoria abruptly stopped and pulled her son out of the hall, passed the parlour and into the formal living room.
“Sit sit. Scorpius, sit,” Astoria insisted, pushing her only son onto the green silk settee.
“What happened?” she prodded, sitting across from him in an ornate chair.
Scorpius hung his head and rubbed his face with both hands. He ran a distracted hand through his hair and let out a heavy sigh.
“Haven’t you read The Prophet?”
Looking at his mother, Scorpius saw her lips pursed and her somber face.
“I take that as you have.”
“Scorpius Hyperion Malfoy,” Astoria hissed in a terrifying, motherly voice, “how could you have kept something so enormous from me? Was I not worthy of knowing, or were you too afraid of what I would think? And instead of learning from you, I learned from The Prophet and countless other newspapers. How do you suppose that makes me feel?”
“Mum, I’m –”
“I don’t want your apologies. I want an explanation.”
Scorpius had never been as frightened of his mother in his life as he was at this moment. Her voice was so deathly quiet, her face so eerily serene.
“It wasn’t supposed to happen like this. Not anything like this.”
“And pray tell, how was it supposed to happen? Were you going to tell me that I was a grandmother after you baby was born? Or were you not going to tell me at all?”
“We – we wanted to wait. Just until she started showing. We were going to tell you. We never wanted to keep you completely in the dark. I mean, Dad had a hard time digesting –”
“How your father factors into this is none of my concern!” Astoria finally snapped. “It is about our relationship. I was lead to believe that you could tell me anything, anything at all. Obviously there were some miscommunications between us.”
“Mum, I don’t want to fight with you right now. I just wanted to tell you that I should have told you before. Maybe if I had told you things would be different. Maybe Rose wouldn’t have lost our baby; maybe I wouldn’t have been so eager to be in the Accelerate Auror Program had I know something bad would happen; then maybe I would have been there for her; maybe she wouldn’t have kicked me out of her room. And maybe, just maybe, I wouldn’t have been told that it was my fault for the miscarriage and that she never wanted to see me again. Maybe she wouldn’t have told me that she fucking hated me and therefore doesn’t love me at all.”
Dumbfounded, Astoria stared at her son. “What?” she whispered.
“Rose fucking hates me. I tried to explain. I tried to tell her that I was in fucking Australia, doing pointless Auror training. I tried, I really did, but she wrote me off. She didn’t even give me the chance to tell her I was bloody well kidnapped and taken to Australia for what my superiors called “Extensive Auror Boot Camp.” I didn’t have a choice in the matter. I had to up and leave without being able to send word to anyone. They only sent a note to you saying I was in training and safe. They didn’t care about anyone else other than letting parents know. They didn’t give a fuck about girlfriends, or best friends, or children.
“And was the training even worth it? Al is going to be learning the same things, but in a different time frame. Why did I have to do it? Why did Rose have to tell me that? Why?”
Scorpius wasn’t upset, but he sure as hell wasn’t complacent. He was absolutely furious.
“I – I don’t know. But never in a million years does a parent want to hear anything of the sort happen to their child. Did she really say those things?”
“I don’t think I could have ever imagined her saying any of those words to me. I love her Mum. I love her more than anything and I was going to love our baby unconditionally. What am I supposed to do when she tells me she never wants to see me again?”
Astoria looked at her son through teary eyes. For the first time in a long time, Scorpius looked vulnerable. The last time Astoria saw his eyes so empty and lost was the day he was left on the platform to the Hogwarts Express at eleven years old. When she saw him next, at the Christmas holidays, Astoria found no trace of any childlike defenselessness. In fact, from then on, she never saw her son in any state of weakness. As much as she always wished to be there for her son if his courage ever slipped, it was not under these circumstances.
She reached for his son’s hand. Delicately, she held it between her own, gently rubbing her thumb against his skin.
“I know you don’t want to hear this, but you need to give Rose some space. She may have wanted you to be there initially, but now, she’s confused as to why you didn’t show up before. She’s very irrational at this point; after all, she just lost her baby. You can’t expect her to accept you with open arms so easily. Let her cool down and in a few days, two at the earliest, go and see her to calmly tell her what happened. She has things to think over as do you.”
Astoria stood up slowly, trying to keep her body from shaking. She was overwrought with emotions but she needed to be strong for her son. Gently, she placed a kiss on Scorpius’ forehead.
“Time heals all wounds, sweetheart.”
Barely taking three strides, Scorpius called to his mother.
She stopped in her tracks and waited for the inevitable question.
“How much time?”
“You’ll find out for yourself.”
Astoria continued out of the living room, being sure to keep her steps even and not hurried. She made it to her office, shut the door and fell into desperate sobs.
Life was not supposed to pan out this way for eighteen year olds.
As his mother suggested, Scorpius waited a few days before going to see Rose again.
He told his mother the next morning after crashing in his childhood bedroom that night that he had a flat and would be moving into it soon. Astoria agreed, believing that would be best.
Draco, who happened to be there for breakfast, made no mention of Rose or St. Mungo’s or babies, but pretended as though life was absolutely normal. He supported Scorpius’ decision to move out and even told him he’d be willing to help pay for the first year, even though it wasn’t really necessary because of Scorpius’ trust fund from both sets of grandparents.
Draco, soon after offering to help pay for Scorpius’ flat, left his family and headed for the Ministry. Astoria had the house elves take care of the breakfast dishes and told them she would call them to talk about the menu for the weekly Malfoy-Greengrass dinner later. She then retreated to her office after kissing her son’s cheek.
“Perk up, love. Things will get better.”
The next few days were uneventful. Scorpius did, however, compose a formal letter to his Auror superiors.
In it, he plainly told them that he no longer wished to be in the Accelerated program and hoped there could be arrangements made to be put into the regular Auror program. He told them that this decision was based on a number of factors, one being the sudden “trips” and lack of correspondence during these trips. He mentioned his personal situation and explained that the Accelerated program wasn’t worth it if he ruined everything he had going for him in the process, despite the benefits of finishing training two and a half years in advance.
After sending it off, he felt somewhat better, but he couldn’t shake the memory of Rose telling him she hated him. It would be forever engrained in his mind.
Otherwise, Scorpius remained in his room, staring up at his ceiling.
When three days passed, Scorpius felt that it was time to visit Rose again. He hoped and prayed that she would admit him, but a deep tearing in his gut hinted otherwise. He didn’t know how time could heal this.
Scorpius made his way up to Rose’s ward. He took a deep breath as he walked down the hall to her room. The door was closed.
Hesitantly, Scorpius knocked. This wasn’t right. He shouldn’t have to be the one blamed; it was no one’s fault.
The door opened up, revealing a passive Cecelia.
“Sco – You shouldn’t be here,” she said in a rushed and quiet voice.
“And why not? I’ve come here to explain properly. I need Rose to hear me out.”
Cecelia slipped out and shut the door behind her.
“She doesn’t want to see you,” she told him forcefully.
“But I need her to understand that I didn’t do this intentionally. I never wanted her to have to deal with this alone. She needs me and I need her. I love her Cece, and she needs to remember that. Please let me in.”
Shaking her head, she muttered a no.
“She said explicitly not to let you in. She doesn’t want to see you and I need to obey her wishes as her best friend.”
“But I’m her boyfriend. We were going to raise our child together and be together. We’re in love.”
“Not anymore. You don’t have a child to take care of anymore and she doesn’t want you.”
Scorpius’ voice became low and desperate as he took a few steps closer to her.
“Cecelia, you have to let me in. I’m her friend too, and yours.”
She pushed him back forcefully, hands planted firmly on his chest.
“I’m sorry, but you can’t let you in.”
“But Cece…” he pleaded.
She shook her head violently, pulling her hands from his chest and clenching them into fists.
“I can’t do that. I just can’t.”
“Please Cecelia, I need to see her. I need to explain to her!” he cried.
Cecelia looked at him; she was incredibly pained and it was obvious because of her expression.
“Scorpius, don’t make me. Please don’t make me,” she whispered, her eyes filling with tears.
“Don’t make you do what!?” Scorpius cried out.
“Call the Aurors.”
Scorpius was in agony. How could this have happened? How could he not be allowed to see his girlfriend while she was laid up in St. Mungo’s? How could his girlfriend's best friend be threatening him?
Scorpius’ saddened eyes immediately hardened. “Fine. I'll leave. But please tell Rose that she means more to me than anything else. Tell her that I love her. Tell her that I need to explain myself and I will wait as long as I have to.”
Cecelia bit her lip nervously. She swallowed, lifted her head up high and spoke to him. “I'll tell her; she’ll listen, but she won’t hear.”
“And tell her I’m sorry,” Scorpius said, turning around and walking down the hall, disappearing down another hall.
Cecelia heard him breathe a heavy sigh as she escaped back into Rose’s room.
“Who was it, Cece?”
“Scorpius,” she replied in a meek voice.
“Oh. What did he want?” Rose asked callously.
“To talk to you. He wanted me to tell you that he loves you and that if he has to wait, he’ll wait for however long it takes for you to talk to him.”
Cecelia looked to her best friend and saw her nod brusquely.
“Can you leave me for a few moments?” came Rose’s watery voice.
Cecelia left once again, closing the door behind her.
As her best friend disappeared, the tears began to fall.
“Why Scorpius? Why do you make it so hard for me to hate you?”
AN: R & R, lovelies!
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