Chapter 32 : Full Circle
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I was a nice girl, right? I didn’t have a temper, like Lily or Marissa; I didn’t swear, curse (unless the situation was dire); I took care of my appearance, made sure I didn’t walk around like the Squid’s date or anything. In fact, in light of the Hogsmeade trip today, I’d donned on a lovely pink skirt which clashed spectacularly with my dark hair and showed off my legs—without looking like I was going to a Gentleman’s Club.
Really, it was quite lovely—and I knew I looked good, because a few of the boys I’d passed in the halls told me so. In quite a lewd manner, admittedly, and with no small amount of whistling. But anyway.
So, my question is, why Remus Lupin acted like a blooming priest whenever I came near him.
It wasn’t as if I hadn’t seen him date girls—he was a bleeding Marauder, of course he’d been with other girls. But why didn’t he want to be with me?
Oh, sod it! (Excuse my language.) I knew perfectly well why; because our bleeding lycanthropy and his fear that it would make things complicated. I have no idea why he thought it would, because to me it made it even more perfect for us to be together because of that horrible disease!
Gah. It was rubbish, complete rubbish.
Remus was rubbish, this date was rubbish and sodding werewolves were rubbish. Rubbish, rubbish, rubbish.
Keeping that mantra in my head as I approached Remus—who was waiting patiently in the Entrance Hall with Sirius—I steeled myself for disappointment and plastered a smile on my face.
Marissa squeezed my arm and Lily leaned in to whisper in my ear. “You’ll be fine, Ella, he’ll come around!” she said softly as we approached.
Well, I had to concede to Lily. At least the bloke I fancied wanted to talk to me. But after our conversation last night—which lasted well into the wee hours of the morning—I knew Lily would be all right. After all she was determined, and possibly the tiniest bit crazy—coupled with the fact James was still madly in love with her, despite the fact he may say otherwise; it was quite obvious they belonged together.
“I’ll see you guys later, then?” I said as we approached. Marissa nodded, taking the arm of her recently announced boyfriend and leading him away, while Lily skillfully blended into the crowd, using her quite brilliant stalking skills to hunt down James, as planned.
Well, she would have blended in, if not for her bright red hair. But that was beside the point.
“Ella,” Remus said, staring blatantly at my legs. “You look lovely.”
I blushed, my cursed skin giving me away. I grunted and began walking out into the sunny grounds, already regretting the stupid decision to wear the stupid short skirt.
My legs were freezing. I knew from the moment I saw Remus that wearing the damn skirt was an idiotic idea, but I really hadn’t considered the weather in my decision. So there I was standing outside the Shrieking Shack, the home of many new distressing memories, freezing my arse off in a my stupid skirt—luckily I had had the sense to bring a jacket, so I wasn’t completely frozen.
I had just lost all sense of feeling in my legs.
“…and that’s the room where we stay,” Remus was saying. He was showing me the key areas around the Shrieking Shack, places he thought I’d need to know for our transformation.
Too bad I already had transformed twice in his presence, therefore didn’t need this stupid geography lesson.
“Remus, please, can’t we just go somewhere warm?” I asked pleadingly, my teeth chattering. “I already know all these places, I’m not daft—!”
Remus gaped. “Only in darkness! What happens if—”
“Well, I’ll deal with the ‘what if’s when they come to!” I glared. “I’m going to the Three Broomsticks, Remus, I’m bloody cold.”
Just as I was about to turn, however, I felt a warm hand grasp itself around my wrist. “Ella, please,” Remus said quietly. It was dead quiet around us, the snow glittering in the light of day. “I know what’s upsetting you, but please, don’t do this.”
That sparked the frustration inside me and I felt angry tears well up in my eyes. “Don’t do what, Remus? Act like this isn’t affecting me? Act like what I feel for you—and what you feel for me, don’t deny it—means nothing?”
He cringed at my words. “Ella, please—”
I wanted to slap him. I wanted to kick and scream and make him give me what I wanted; his love, which I knew he felt, however much he tried to contain it. But I didn’t; I kissed him instead.
The moment out lips touched, I knew I wasn’t going to give him up.
“Please,” I whispered, “please, Remus, give us the chance to be happy.”
He groaned, and I felt my heart catch in panic. He was going to say no.
But all that doubt dissipated, when he reached down and kissed me hard. I grinned into the kiss as he crushed me against him.
That wasn’t so hard, was it?
“…and then Ella’s off to win Remus’ heart while Lily is off to find James—”
“Marissa!” Sirius barked, looking tired. It was loud in the Three Broomsticks, but the noise was somewhat blocked off from our booth in the back corner.
“Yes?” I asked politely, looking up at my gorgeous boyfriend. Why was he glaring at me?
“Shut up about your friends, please,” he said, pinching the bridge of his with the hand not wrapped around my shoulder. “Or mine, for that matter. Those have more drama that a bleeding soap opera. I could think of hundreds things that would put your mouth to better use.”
I gaped at him. “Most of their troubles came about because of you and your bloody addiction to firewhiskey—speaking of which, you still haven’t apologized to Lily, you stupid sod! You said you would—!”
“I bloody well did!” he said, dropping his arm from around me. “I told her what happened and I distinctly remember saying the words ‘I’m sorry’ to—”
For the past three months I had been with Sirius Black, I don’t think a day had gone by where we hadn’t argued like cat and dog. But honestly, I loved it. The way his forehead crinkled, the way his eyes would turn that shade darker when he got angry, the tone of his sexy voice when
God, I sound like a twit. So, instead of dwelling on the way his lips moved, I blurted, “I touched James Potter’s underwear.”
“--what?” His eyes narrowed. “That git!”
I wanted to slap myself. “No, no, no!” I got out, while Sirius struggled to remove himself from our table—presumably to go and rip James a new one. “It was in my dorm—after that whole fiasco the other night.”
Sirius calmed down and stopped struggling. “Oh, well in that case,” he said casually, as if he didn’t just look like he was going to get himself landed in Azkaban. “Poor ‘Rissa,” he cooed using that ridiculous nickname he’d given me. Apparently, it was Spanish for laughter, but I didn’t care—laugh at something else, sod. “You’ll be fine.”
He gave me a light kiss on the forehead, and I melted into him again. Silence enveloped us as we sat contently listening to the sounds around us.
“So, anyway,” I said casually, leaning into his chest. “I wonder how James and Lily are going?”
Sirius groaned and I smiled.
His back stiffened and I saw his grip on Jane tighten, but he didn’t acknowledge me. Jane struggled to turn around but, after a few whispered words from James, stopped trying to turn and picked up the pace.
Stupid tosser had been avoiding me for hours; we both knew it.
Ha. As if that would stop me. I was determined to make this right, even if it meant running all day. I loved James—loved him more than I probably even knew myself—and he said he loved me. He’d told me a hundred times in the past that he’d never stop loving me, and I was determined to prove him right. While Jane was nice—a lovely person, I’ll give her that—he didn’t belong with her.
Not in my books anyway.
I was still running, however, determined to catch up. “James, I need to speak with you!”
Still no response, but it didn’t matter – I had caught up with them both, panting as I scrambled in front of them. James’ face was torn between an expression of guilt and horror while Jane arched a delicate eyebrow, her face a mask of disgust.
“James, please,” I panted, clutching the stitch in my side. I needed to exercise more. “Please don’t do this.”
“Lily, just go,” James sighed, brushing past me. God, this couldn’t be happening. “I really mean it—”
“—I love you,” I said, my desperation getting the better of me. “I know that now, James, please give me a chance. I’m willing to tell everyone; shout it in the middle of the Great Hall—”
James looked torn. “Lily, I did that for six years. What’s the difference in you saying it?”
Jane made a strangled noise, but we ignored her.
I felt tears well up behind my eyes. “You changed me, James,” I said softly. “By falling in love with you, I changed myself. In a good way—”
Jane finally found her voice. “Come on, James, we should go,” she said, tugging his shirt. But he was rooted to the spot, his dark eyes fixed on me. “James, come on.”
Still he didn’t move. I took it as my cue to continue. “Please, James, can’t you see it?” I pleaded. “I’m a better person because of it, for Merlin’s sake! I fight with people less, I’ve deflated my fat head—please James, give me a chance.” I took his hand. “I love who I am when I’m around you—partly because you do and because you make me like myself. Please, James, I didn’t mean to do what I did to you—Merlin, if I knew what would have happened, I would have done something about it after the night we spent together.”
Jane stopped struggling to narrow her eyes at me. “Wait—night you spent together?” she repeated. “James, what happened? It better be a good explanation!”
James groaned, but I ignored her. As far as I was concerned, Jane was on Jupiter. “Please, James,” I said softly. I must have sounded like a broken record. “I’ve done worse, I know I’ve been a complete bitch—”
This wasn’t working. So, I did what any normal girl would do; I grabbed him by the neck and brought him down, so his lips met mine. The first touch was electric and before I knew it, the world melted away and all I could feel was his lips moving against mine.
It was a moment before he pulled away, but a smile was on his lips. “You drive a hard bargain, Evans,” he said, his hands resting on my hips.
A flicker of hope sparked in my chest. “And I’ve got the trump card, too: I will steal your underwear,” I said in a playful voice.
A grin grew on his face and he slung his hands fully around my waist, pulling me in close. “Oh yeah, and how will you do that?”
Reaching into my pocket, I drew out the boxers I’d found in my dorm and he laughed. “Well,” I said, a light smile forming, “I’ve already started it seems.”
He raised an eyebrow. “Oh? And what are your demands?”
I fluttered my eyelashes coyly. “I think you know.”
“Yeah, I think I do.” And he kissed me blissfully, once more.
However, it appeared neither of us suspected the hex conjured by Jane, which gave our tongues a moss-green scaly texture.
It was quite a clever jinx… if we were not snogging at the time.
We were lying in the Hospital Wing, as Madame Pomfrey bustled about in the back, trying . We were sharing a bed—despite explicit orders not to go near each other—with my head resting comfortably on his chest. His hands skimmed up and down my arms, sending a tingling sensation down my spine.
“I love you, Lily,” James said, struggling around his mutated tongue, his words sending vibrations through his chest. “I always have.”
Okay, so that was the icing on the cake. I felt my heart soar at his words, but I had to ask the dreaded question, no small amount of hesitation in my voice (despite it being hard to talk, what with a mossy tongue); “What about Jane?”
James sighed, looking slightly regretful, but there was a determined look in his eyes. “Jane…Jane could never make me feel like you do. No one can.” He let out a small chuckle and my heart was about to burst. “Jane will find her own way—sure, she’ll hate us, but I had a feeling she liked making you jealous.”
I raised an eyebrow, lifting my head off his chest to stare at his gorgeous face. “Really? Because I think I like doing the same to her.” Smiling at my own joke like a fool, I lifted my head and made for a kiss—but then a couple of things happened at once.
First, the Hospital Wing doors burst open revealing my two frazzled-looking best friends leading Sirius and Remus into the white lights. However, as soon as they approached, their worried faces turned horrified as they looked down on us.
Then, the draperies around the other side of our bed were flung open. “What are you two doing!?” screeched Madame Pomfrey, making her presence known in probably the most horrible way possible. “Miss Evans, control yourself! Going around fraternizing is NOT advised in your condition!”
The girls started up. “Lily, what happened?”
“You look disgusting!”
Well, thank you, Marissa, I really need to know that.
“We just saw Ceedor ranting and raving about Hogsmeade, something about a kiss and sending you to the Hospital Wing—”
“Sweet Circe, what happened to your tongue! You two were going to snog like that?! That’s disgusting!”
Okay, so maybe my life would never be perfect. I would never be the one with the storybook romance, or the perfect friends.
But I knew I had some chance of happiness, with James by my side and my best friends behind me to catch me when I fell.
…or when people stole my underwear, just to make me see what was right in front of me.
A/N: And we’re done. It took me four years, but we got here. I hope it didn't dissapoint.
Lots of snogging and lots of action for the finale! It’s been a blast writing this story, I really hope you guys enjoyed the final chapter! Yes, this is the last—I thought about an epilogue, but considering I didn’t mention Voldy once in this story, it would be kind of jarring. (And sad. Very sad. You don’t want to know what I was thinking out doing to my beloved OCs. It’s rather shocking, actually.)
Thank you everyone who had read/reviewed/favorited this story! You don’t understand how much I appreciate them; honestly, they mean the world! And if you haven’t left me a review, but you’ve been reading, it’s you final chance to let me know what you thought! I really would appreciate it.
Again, thank you everyone who has followed this! I’m a horrible person for dragging this out as long as I did, but seriously, I appreciate it so much!
Thank you everyone *hugs* I'm sad to see this finish (seriously, I have tears in my eyes) because this story has been a big part of my life. A real growing exercise for me as a writer and as a person (cliche alert!). But really, I'm not even kidding. Thank you so much for the time anyone has spent reading this, it really means the world. Thank you :D
Please let me know what you thought about the story as a whole/just this chapter/ANYTHING! in a review! And if you haven't, and are interested, check out my other stories! There is lots of Lily/James action there for the taking :)
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