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Shakespeare, Magic, and Me by heyITSme
Chapter 4 : "Thy head is as full of quarrels as an egg is full of meat..." Mercutio (3.1.23-24)
Rating: MatureChapter Reviews: 8

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[Disclaimer: I don't own a thing] 

C H A P T E R F O U R: "Thy head is as full of quarrels as an egg is full of meat..." Mercutio (3.1.23-24)

[Previously: James rolled his eyes and looked at Marlene, "Sorry, Marls, but Sirius is a wee bit on the whiney side today, he didn't get a lot of sleep."

Marlene also rolled her eyes, "Yeah whatever. I'll see you at practice later tonight?"

Ja-Potter smiled, "Yeah, see you."

Marlene turned to us and smiled, "Sorry guy--"

"FLAT CHEST!" Black screamed to Marlene.

...And then she tackled him. ]

I sighed as I moved the pack of ice across Marlene's back. "Hun, you should have expected him to fight back."

"He didn't fight you!" she whined.

"That," Alice said in her most I-know-all voice, "Is because Potter would have killed Black if he touched a single hair of Lily's head."

I laughed, "Yeah, Potter's weird stalker-ish tendencies do come in handy at times."

Alice glanced at the clock fearfully, "'s 6:47. You've only got thirteen minutes to get down to the Pitch, or James will skin you alive."

Marlene groaned, "I don't want to! My back is killing me," she gestured wildly to her blueish-bruised back, which looked really odd seeing as she was lying on her stomach, "My head is pounding, I am on some MAJOR PMS right now and I'm bloody starving!"

"Oh, I know, Marls!" I sighed as I ran my fingers through her hair comfortingly, "I'm sorry Black's such an arse."

Marlene huffed. "I know. And I do not have a flat chest!"

Alice and I were silent for a moment before we burst into laughter.

"Oh shut up you guys!"

The truth is, Marls really does have a small chest, but it suits her. She's like, 5'10 5'11-ish and has the exact figure of a model. Tall, skinny, and flat. Modeling agencies in France have actually asked her to come by their studios before.

I looked at Marls again, really looked, and noted the bags under her eyes, and her tired state with disdain. "Marls?" I asked.

"Yeah, Lillers?"

"Do you really not want to go to practice?"

"Ughh! No. Black'll be a pain in the arse and James is like Hitler on the Pitch." 

I'm not doing this, I'm not doing this; I'm not doing this.
I sighed again. "Ok. I'll...I'll tell Potter."

Silence rang throughout our dorm.

"You'll...You'll willingly confront James...for me?"

I smiled sheepishly, "Well yeah, Marls,"

After a very hormonal thank you and goodbye, I was out of our dorm. And dear God what a hormonal goodbye it was! Seriously, Marls is like another species when she's on PMS. She's like the eighth bloody wonder of the world.

By the time I reached the Front Door, I realized I was in my pajamas: my big baggie dark grey sweatpants with my older cousin's boxers sticking out (yes, boxers are the most comfortble thing in the world...until they give you a wedgie) and a small tie-dyed hoodie with my wet hair up in a messy bun. Yes, world, this is Lily Evans at her best!

I really should have dressed up more seeing as I'm going to be practically on my hands and knees begging Potter to forgive Marlene. If Marlene had actually thought about it, I'd probably be down here in booty shorts and the world's lowest shirt.

As I approached the Quidditch Pitch, I could make out little flying fgures against the sunset. As I slowly counted them, I realized that there was only five in the air, moving about...Potter was probably-ah! Yep, there he is, just sittin' on his broom, floatin' in the air, critiquing everyone.

"Oy! Potter!" I called up to him from the ground.

Aaaanddd....nothing. I'm being ignored.




Ok, this is ridiculous. The whole team has stopped, and is starring at me. But Potter is stubbornly starring off into the distance. At nothing. Merlin, I'm gunna skin him alive. I mean, seriously, if you're going to pretend that you're ignoring me; atleast look at something other than the bloody wind.


"Whaaaat's my nameeee?" Potter called.

Oh he is such a pain in the BLOODY ARSE!


Potter flew down, quite leisurley actually, and stopped in front of me, a foot off the ground.

"Actually, Evans, my ass is not really all that scrawny. None of me is, actually; if you catch my drift."

"Yeah yeah, drift caught. Look, Marlene is not feeling all that well tonight, and she needs to skip. I'm telling you so that you won't go all 'crazy Hitler' on her ass or anything." I said, using air quotes for 'crazy Hitler'.

Potter...laughed? What the fuck?

"Yeah, no worries, Evans. I know she's sick."

...Something's off. I haven't even gotten on my knees yet to beg, and he's already forgiven her. Ok, well, not forgiven, but he excused her absence. Weird.

"Oh, really?" I asked mockingly.

"Duh. I've known Marls since...forever. She's always chill until the last week of the month. I kinda know when she's gunna get bitchy."

"Ahh...ew. Ok, thanks Potter. This wastn't a weird conversation at all."

Potter knows Marlene's monthlies? What the hell? That's umm, gross.

Potter laughed again. That deep throaty one. The really sexy on-

Ok...Uh...Moving on...

"C'mon, don't deny it." 

What? The lackage of a sexy voice or Marlene's supreme bitchiness? I'll go for the Bitchlies, "Yeah," I chuckled a bit, "She can be a little bitchy."

"Yep." He said, nodding, "And she shamelessly eats all the chocolate."

"Yeah!" I cried, "She's sucha chocolate whore! She ate, like, a galleon's worth of chocolate yesterday! And it was my chocolate, too!"

Potter laughed again. A totally normal, not at all attractive laugh, "I remember this one time, my mom baked this great big chocolate cake for my little cousin. Had chocolate icing, and chocolate chips and everything. And the whole family was over...and we walked into the kitchen to see Marlene eating the cake! The chocolate icing was all over her face and her fingers were sticky with chocolate and everything."

I burst into laughter. What? I can't help it. Don't deny you're laughing to.

"Merlin, Marls would do that." I said, imagining a lanky Marlene bending over a big over-done cake with a pissed off little kid wacking her in the shins.

Before Potter could say anything else, Hannah Baker called down to James and I, "You coming, Jamesie?"

Potter cringed a bit before replying, "Yeah, coming!"

"What is it with blondes and nicknames for you Marauders?"

"Ugh, I dunno, it's ridiculous though."

I laughed, "See you around...James."

Did I really just have a civil conversation with James Potter? And about Marlene's time of the month, too! ...Did I call him James? Does this mean I'll always call him James? Do--

"Oh, and Lily!" he called from the sky, "I'll see you tomorrow for our first Head's meeting in the Common--after your detention!" He began to laugh, "I'm sure it'll be a blast!"

Nope. He's still Potter. 

A/N: ok, so I meant to update my last chapter forever and a day ago but validations didn't like my vocabulary. apparently lily's real word for sirius was to vulgar for this website..whoops. lol. 
anyways, please review because it'll make my day :)
p.s. if anyone can make a'd be really cool if you'd make me one

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