Chapter 1 : Yes... They're Insane.
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Draco Malfoy took a deep, calming breath as he watched her walk across the courtyard. This isn’t creepy, he convinced himself, I could have just been sitting here and noticed her walking by. No one would know the difference.
Now, this reasoning on Draco’s part may have been believable, except for the fact that he watched her walk across this particular courtyard every single day. Every single day he watched her gorgeous copper hair slowly swish back and forth as she headed to her third class, Charms, where she sat at the second seat of the third desk of the first row. Each day, he yearned more and more to get closer.
I wonder if she smells good... Oh, Merlin, who am I kidding? Of COURSE she smells good, she’s a girl! Girls smell good all the time; it’s like some sort of enchantment they’re all born with. Draco watched as she disappeared through the doors across the courtyard and sighed wistfully, gazing up at the sky and closing his eyes to begin his fantasy, imagining pulling her close and burying his fingers into her gorgeous hair and...
“Oi, Malfoy!” Draco’s eyes popped open and saw the stone ground rushing towards him at a dangerous pace. He had begun to slide off the ledge he’d been sitting on and soon smacked against the ground with a loud “Oof!” He laid there for a few seconds, blushing like a fool and wondering just how many people had seen.
“Very graceful, mate.” Blaise Zabini leaned down to look at Draco, amusement in his eyes and a grin on his face. Draco narrowed his eyes at him and got up to dust himself off, puffing out his chest and acting like nothing had happened.
Pockets of laughter around the courtyard confirmed his fears that more people than just Blaise had seen his not-so-graceful tumble. His chest deflated and he stuffed his hands in his robes self-consciously. “What do you want?” he hissed, looking nervously at a group of pretty Slytherin girls pointing at him and giggling.
“Just wanted to say hello, mate! And boy, am I glad I did! Got my dose of laughter before I even got the chance to corner that sorry Gryffindor Colin Creevey!” Blaise put his arm around Draco and squeezed him, his grin so large and taunting that it looked as if his face might tear apart.
“Oh, piss off!” Draco muttered, shoving Blaise’s arm off of him and stalking across the courtyard and away from all of the laughter and whispered comments.
Oh, Granger, look what you’ve done to me! Thinking about you caused me to fall off a bloody wall! Damn you, Granger! Damn your pretty hair and endless eyes!
Draco absently reached up to wipe his mouth with his sleeve and his eyes bulged as he saw something glittering on the black fabric. GOOD GOD! I’m drooling! I’m honest-to-Merlin drooling! I thought that only happened in stupid things like books!
Audience: *UNCONTROLLABLE laughter*
He hurriedly rubbed his sleeve across his mouth, ridding his face of any unsightly substances as he rushed through the outdoor corridor to his next class.
This has to end. And there’s only one solution... to court Miss Hermione Granger.
Due to his unfortunate fall off the wall and drooling disaster, Draco was of course late to Charms class. Professor Flitwick had recently come up with the fabulous idea to magically lock the doors to prevent any late-comers, so poor Draco Malfoy was forced to sit outside of the class and wait until it was over in order to go inside and explain his absence.
And that’s when fate stepped in.
The door opened much earlier than expected and Draco looked up in surprise, knowing full well the class wasn’t over and wondering who was leaving early. His eyes looked up to find a beautiful, slender brunette slipping out the door; his heart skipped a beat and his hands trembled as he stared up at Hermione Granger.
Audience: *holds breath*
One of Draco’s legs was sprawled out along the floor and Hermione, who seemed in quite the rush, didn’t see it and tripped, causing her books to fall with a series of thuds to the ground. Parchment exploded all along the hallway and Hermione hit the ground with a surprised “Oh!”
Draco was at her side in a second, concern filling his eyes as he helped her up. “Whoa! Sorry, are you okay?” Hermione looked up to see who was helping her and froze as she saw Draco staring back at her, his hand holding her wrist and eyes ablaze with anxiety.
Her eyebrows furrowed together and for a moment she couldn’t speak. Draco swore he saw something like genuine appreciation flash in her eyes, but if he had it hadn’t stuck around. She gently took her wrist back and murmured, “It’s fine,” as she bent down to pick up her fallen books.
“Here, let me help you,” Draco offered, bending down to retrieve her fallen books and parchment. He could feel Hermione’s stunned and suspicious eyes boring holes through his very skin, but he continued to pick up the papers as if he noticed nothing.
“Okay, what’s the joke? What are you up to?” Hermione finally demanded, looking straight at Draco through squinted eyes.
Okay, here’s my chance...
“Ah, Granger...” He leaned closer, channeling the essence of his sexy blue eyes and projecting it on her, “Why do you assume I’m always playing jokes on you?”
When he saw the utterly taken-aback expression on her face, he smiled in satisfaction and handed her the fallen books and parchment he had picked up without breaking eye contact.
“So, where are you headed?” he asked, casting her his best sexy, soothing grin.
“L-Library,” she stammered stupidly, unable to break his intense eye contact.
“I’ll escort you,” Draco offered smoothly, gently grabbing her arm and helping her up. She couldn’t seem to stop staring at him in utter disbelief; frankly, Draco was enjoying every second of it.
The two walked in silence, with Draco swaggering confidently along with his hands stuffed in his pockets as Hermione clutched her books until her knuckles turned white. They arrived at the library much too soon, and Draco wanted to scream with delight when Hermione sat down at a table and glanced quickly at the seat beside her, and then opened a book as if she had done nothing of the sort.
He slid silkily into the chair beside her as she pretended to read her book while really peering at him through her peripheral vision. He grinned, staring at her in amusement until she finally cracked and looked up to meet his gaze.
“What are you staring at?” she demanded in frustration.
“You,” Draco stated bluntly, placing his elbow on the table and resting his face on his hand.
Hermione’s mouth gaped emptily, searching for words but coming up with nothing. “Wh-Why?” she sputtered.
Draco shrugged and replied, “You’re nice to look at,” before he could stop himself.
“Merlin, Draco, I have to know what joke you’re playing here!” Hermione shouted in exasperation, warranting a disapproving glare from Madame Pince. Hermione lowered her voice to an angry whisper and continued, “You have always called me Mudblood. You have taunted me and teased me for years and suddenly you’re being a perfect gentleman. Explain this joke to me, because I really don’t understand it in the least.”
“See, Granger, the thing you don’t get is that people can change. Even I, dashing Draco Malfoy of Malfoy Manor, can turn around.”
“You’re a Pureblood. You don’t associate with people like me,” Hermione argued in defiance.
“Who says?” Draco asked coolly, just to annoy her.
“You do! All the time!” Hermione hissed, lingering on the brink of absolute hysterics.
“Do I?” Draco asked, leaning towards her until their faces were less than two inches apart. He breathed in deeply and as the scent of warm vanilla hit his nose, he concluded that Hermione Granger did indeed smell very, very good.
Hermione bit her lip nervously as she stared into Draco’s deep blue eyes, but she didn’t move. He reluctantly leaned a little bit farther to softly plant one small kiss on her lips. When he pulled away, she took in a sharp intake of breath and her face turned crimson.
Audience: *cat calls*
He smiled, resisting the urge to hop on top of the table and do a few chorus line kicks, and instead got up from his chair. She sat still as stone, stunned speechless. He leaned down and whispered in her ear, “Until we meet again, ‘Mione.”
And then, like a refreshing summer wind, he breezed out of the library, leaving a shocked and still slightly pink Hermione in his wake.
The second he was gone Hermione gathered up her books and ran out of the library and up to the Common Room. Bursting through the portrait hole, she tossed her books on the floor and grabbed a pillow from the couch, screaming into it with every ounce of strength she had.
Draco Malfoy just kissed me! He kissed me! And worst of all, I liked it! I fancy Draco Malfoy! MERLIN, how did this happen?!
Two voices in Hermione’s head began to battle:
He does have stunning eyes... Full of hatred!
He does have gorgeous hair... Full of hair gel!
Maybe he was telling the truth... Maybe he's really changed for the better....
... But prats like him CAN’T change for the better! It isn’t possible!
Hermione groaned in exasperation and collapsed onto the couch, draping her arm dramatically over her eyes.
I have fallen... for a ferret.
* * * *
By the next morning, Hermione had convinced herself that what happened yesterday had been nothing but a dream. An awful, horrible, terrible, sexy, delicious, amazing dream.
That is, until she climbed through the portrait hole of the Common Room to see a bouquet of white roses on a table nearby, with her name printed clearly on the card.
Her breath caught in her throat and her heart pumped wildly as she reached for the card and opened it.
Oh, dearest ‘Mione, I’ve loved you ever since we’ve suddenly started talking.
I’ll be thinking of you.
How about another kiss?
Had she entered the Twilight Zone? Maybe a coconut had fallen from the sky and knocked her on the head! Or maybe Draco was on some sort of drug! All would be much more reasonable explanations than the one staring her right in the face.
“Hey, Hermione. Whatcha got there?” Hermione’s stomach turned cold as she turned around to see Ron standing behind her, his eyebrows furrowed as he tried to read the note she clutched in her hands. Before she could even say anything, he had plucked the note out of her fingers and begun to read it.
His eyes grew as wide as frying pans and when he was done reading, the note slipped out of his fingers and onto the floor.
“Bloody hell, Hermione! Is that really from Malfoy?” he asked in bewilderment, staring at the paper on the floor as if it may explode.
How do you expect me to answer that, Ron?!
“Yes, it’s from Malfoy. We’re in love and we’re going to get married and buy a farm and raise goats! Isn’t that wonderful? Well, isn’t it, Ronald?”
Hermione didn't exactly relish the idea of joking with Ron about Draco and goats, so she compromised and instead fled from the Common Room so fast that she was sure her departure left behind a large gust of wind.
But fate wouldn’t let Hermione off the hook so easily. Instead of making a clean escape, she smacked into someone and was knocked to the floor. She propped herself up on her elbows to look into the eyes of none other than Draco Malfoy!
“It seems we keep bumping into each other,” Draco commented, smiling at his own joke as he helped her up.
And, right on cue, Ron clambered through the portrait hole and stopped dead in his tracks as he saw Draco holding Hermione’s hand.
“Bloody hell! So it is true! Have you two gone mad?” Ron sputtered, climbing out of the portrait hole and facing the two. Hermione let go of Draco’s hand and looked down at the ground as Ron continued to babble. “Hermione! How can you be with this twit? How? He’s foul and awful and completely obsessed with himself!”
Draco smiled in amusement and shrugged slightly, knowing everything Ron was saying was true and also being completely okay with that.
Ron’s face was turning purple and Hermione’s eyes were wide. “I can’t believe you could fancy a guy like him! Are you sick? Did he slip you something?” Ron asked incredulously. Hermione didn’t say a word.
Ron sighed in exasperation, growing tired of not getting the answers he wanted. “He doesn’t deserve you in the least, Hermione!” was his grand finale.
She was silent for a few moments, looking at the floor and scuffing it with her shoe. Then she raised her eyes to cast a smoldering glare at Ron. “And who does, Ron? You?”
And suddenly, Ron had nothing left to say. Hermione’s eyes blazed with anger. “You shouldn’t be talking! You can be an even bigger prat than Malfoy! You are a complete imbecile sometimes, and you never, ever told me you loved me even though you should have! So excuse me for not believing a thing you say, because you don’t have the best bloody track record!”
Ron’s eyes widened in shock and hurt instantly filled his eyes. And when Hermione saw this, something inside of her snapped. Actually, a few things instead of her snapped.
She began to laugh hysterically, bending over and clutching her stomach as tears welled up in her eyes. The laughter wouldn't stop. It poured out from her mouth like an unstoppable waterfall, slowly ncreasing in intensity and pitch.
Draco and Ron stared at her as she fell to the floor in laughter, identical looks of confusion on their faces.
Ron looked up. “Draco... what in Merlin’s name did you do to her?”
Draco looked up also. “Honestly... I have no idea.”
Audience: *standing ovation*
* * * *
A/N Author's Note: Wow. So I was browsing through the forums trying to figure out if a post I had replied to had any more new replies, and I ended up on the Challenging Challenge page. So I crossed my fingers and signed up and was assigned cliché, comedic Dramione. And it was a blast! Thank you to FragileWords, for giving me the guts to do something completely new as an author!