Chapter 3 : Conversation in the Library
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For the millionth time I told James to leave me alone, he had been bugging be since I woke up, luckily he had been smart enough to leave me alone the day before.
He was being his normal self, a real pain in the ass. My head snapped up annoyed as a pillow hit it and I sent a furious glare at my younger brother.
“James made me,” he said quickly and looked nervously up at James who gave Hugo a 'gee, thanks a lot' kind of look before he turned to face me.
“Will you tell me what happened in the Great Hall, or should I make Hugo throw more pillows at you?”
“I have a suggestion to what you can do,” I said, pretending to be as serious as I could. He waited for the rest eagerly, “It's spelled mind your own freaking business.” With that I threw the pillow back, hitting James right in the face, making him groan.
The common room was empty, except for the three of us, Lucas was no where to be seen but I knew that he had woken up and left, because Hugo told me. Still, neither of them thought that we had broken up. I was trying hard to come up with the best way to tell them, but it seemed as if there weren't any good way. I wasn't sure if I was ready for the whole school to know, and I didn't want either of my cousins to hurt Lucas; not that I knew that they would, but it was likely.
But I couldn't play along as I had told Lucas I would yesterday, it just hurt to damn much. I couldn't tell anyone that we had broken up because I wasn't ready for it.
Telling someone, out loud, would make it real. It isn't that I'm stupid, I just didn't want it to be real, I didn't like the reality as it had turned in to, but what could I do? I looked around and noticed that James had left, oh great. Now he was probably upset with me, I swear sometimes he was worse than a girl with PMS with his mood swings.
“Where did James go?” I said to Hugo who stared at me as if I had gone completely mental.
“He just left...? Didn't you see him storm off?” he was giving me an odd look, and I stared right back at him as I shook my head. “Sis, look. I've noticed that something isn't right -”
“Stop,” I held my hand up and he stopped talking, “Please, Hugo, don't do this right now. I really don't want to talk about it, so please, just let it be.”
For a younger brother, he was acting very grown up as he nodded and looked at me concerned.
His brown hair, which he had gotten from mum, was framing his face as his intense, brown eyes looked at me, as if trying to figure me out.
“Okay, but... Could you try to not make a scene today? For a younger brother, that stuff is kind of embarrassing...”
“As if it was in any way my fault,” I muttered and looked away from him as he got of his chair and moved over to the couch I was sitting on, “I'm sorry for embarrassing you, okay? It's just that-”
“You and Lucas are going through a tough time right now, I get it. But, you're Lucas and Rose, you'll work it out, you know?”
He was trying really hard to cheer me up but it wasn't working, at all.
“I wouldn't get my hopes up if I were you, Hugh...” it came out as a mumble but he understood what I said and put his hand on my shoulder, a brotherly gesture which made all the fences that I had built up come tumbling down and I took a deep breath as I felt myself get tears in my eyes. I hadn't cried in front of another person in forever, I didn't want to let them see me weak.
Well, I had cried in the Great Hall the day before, but that didn't count. That wasn't as personal as it was crying in front of one person and one person alone.
“Rose...” Hugo sounded as if he was in pain from seeing me in the state I was in, he tried to comfort me but he didn't know what to do or what to say. “Hey, it'll be okay, even if you two break up; you'll survive. He's just another guy, he isn't worth crying over, Sis...”
I think I may have to start giving Hugo a little more credit, he sure does know what to say when he want to. I let him embrace me for a while, as I sat in silence and let the tears softly roll down my cheeks, then I slowly sat up again and looked at him.
“I swear, if you tell anyone about this – you're as good as dead.” I wiped away the tears as I listened to his amused chuckle.
“Unbelievable, Rosie. That after you've been crying for about five minutes in my arms, you're still capable of making threats. Good ones, might I add,” his voice made me smile, he sounded almost amazed by the fact. “Your make up is a mess, just so you know. You look kinda awful.”
“Thanks for pointing that out, I'll go get myself cleaned up. Thanks for... well, you know,” I said awkwardly, we both knew that I wasn't any good when it came down to talking about things like this. I shrugged as I stood up, “See you later?”
“Uh, yeah,” Hugo smiled a bit before he picked up his wand and started to practise different spells, I hoped for all Gryffindors sake that he knew what he was doing.
A few hours later, I walked in to the library to find that my table was empty and I couldn't help but to look around in hopes of seeing Malfoy somewhere, but he wasn't there.
There was a strange disappointment that came with that but I shrugged it off and sat down, why would I even care if he was there?
I opened the book and before I started to read, I ran my fingers through my hair and seated myself more comfortably.
The book was about six hundred pages long, and I was on page two hundred something, so I had quite a bit to read. Under normal circumstances, I would have finished the book by now, but with everything that had happened lately, it just seemed impossible to sit down and relax. I had so much on my mind all the time and the fact that the library seemed to have become Melinda Changs new favourite spot in the castle wasn't exactly making things any easier.
She was there, sitting at the table furthest away from me and she was smiling happily as if there was nothing in the world that was bothering her. I wondered if she had told any of her friends what she and Lucas had done, but I doubted it. The way those girls gossiped; the whole school would have known by now.
My eyes were torn away from Melinda as a familiar face stepped through the doors to the library and Malfoy walked in and started to make his way over towards me.
“You've taken my seat now,” he spoke softly and rather friendly.
“I've simply taken my seat back,” was my reply and he shrugged and a smile played on his lips as he pulled out a chair and sat down next to me. My eyes widened as I realized what he had just done, it seemed so natural for him to sit there, so I decided to not say anything. He could sit there all he wanted, I didn't mind as long as he didn't annoy me.
“So, if you don't mind me asking, why are you looking at Chang as if you wanna rip her apart and burn the pieces?”
“Hmm..?” I looked up as his words sunk in, “Oh.. I don't really wanna talk about it,” I kept looking at him and he raised an eyebrow before he picked up his book and started to read. I bit my lower lip as I looked at him. He wasn't annoying me with that question, and I wondered if it was the way he didn't force me to tell him that made me want to tell him?
“Is it really that obvious?” I asked in a low voice and he nodded, even though he didn't take his eyes off the book. “I thought I was hiding it well.”
Malfoy half-smiled and shook his head. “You're not even close to hiding it well,” he said.
I glanced over at Melinda and she was looking right at me, with a strange expression on her face, a mixture of shock and satisfaction. She glanced between Malfoy and me and smiled sweetly. My eyed widened as I realized how it could look; we were sitting rather close to each other and we were talking and he was even smiling. Something that he was rarely seen doing. It might have looked as if we were actually friends and I knew that if she started to tell people about us, then she could make it sound as if we were sitting here snogging. She always did exaggerate everything.
“Well, she deserves to be glared at,” I told him and it was probably more my tone than my words that made him look up from his book.
“Does it have anything to do with your argument with your boyfriend yesterday?”
How was it that he seemed to know everything? I bit my lower lip and gave a short nod as I closed my eyes, then I opened them and grabbed my book again. I hoped that he would take the hint and not speak again.
He kept quiet and read his book, but now and then he would glance up and look at me, how did I know that? Because I would do the same.
Minutes passes, maybe even hours, I didn't know and I didn't care. It was Melinda's laughter that made me look up after I had been reading for a while, I saw how she flipped her long, black hair over her shoulders in a soft, feminine way which made me furrow my eyebrows, there was two girls at her table and one boy, and the boy looked at her longingly as if she was the sweetest candy, slowly I reached up to touch my own hair, which wasn't as long as hers or as shiny as hers and I knew that I would go around flipping my hair to look cute then I would just end up looking ridiculous.
One of the girls, the blonde one who's name I had forgotten, leaned in and whispered something in Melinda's ear. She turned around with a smile on her lips, her hair falling perfectly down her back, and she looked at me.
My hand dropped down from touching my hair to fall down on the table, but I wasn't going to break eye contact. Not even as she smiled wider and waved, instead I swallowed hard and waved back. Then she turned away and whispered something back to the people around her and they all laughed. Did they... know?
“Malfoy,” I said slowly and tore my eyes away from her to look at him, “H-”
“Scorpius,” he said, cutting me off mid sentence, “My name is Scorpius,” He looked up as he spoke and I stared right back at him and gave him a look of annoyance.
“Fine, Scorpius,” his name sounded so foreign on my lips, but I rather liked it, “How exactly am I hiding behind books?”
He made a dog ear on the page of his book before he closed it and I found that terribly annoying, instead of making a dog ear, I closed my book but kept my right hand on the page I was on so that it wouldn't close completely.
“Well, you're hiding in the sense that you're always running away from things when it gets to be too much for you, like yesterday in the Great Hall, or one of the times where someone has said something offensive to you, you always go off to read, to hide away. You walk with your books pressed tightly to your chest as if they'll protect you. You cut yourself off from everyone else when you're in this room and lately you've been spending more time here.”
I stared at him wide eyed, I had to give him credit for being observant, that was for sure. He was also so very right, in every sentence he had said.
“But...” I began and he raised his eyebrows, “That's not hiding! So, I happen to like books, I don't see what's wrong about that.”
He took a deep sigh and leaned his arms on the table but he didn't break eye contact. “Okay, let's say that you were having a big fight with me, and-”
“Why would I fight with you?” I asked and furrowed my eyebrows.
“Hypothetically, Weasley!” he groaned, “Hypothetically you had a big fight with me, in the Great Hall. What would you do, and why?”
“I would...” I saw then what he was getting at, “I would run off to the library and open a book, any book.”
“And why would you do that?”
“Because I would want to escape reality, and by doing that I would be hiding from you, behind my books,” I said sadly and nodded, “I see what you mean.”
I glanced over at Melinda, to who's table another person had joined, another boy who's name I believed to be Adam, he wasn't paying much attention to Melinda though. She seemed rather upset by the fact but then again she seemed pleased that her blonde friend got some attention, was her name Cassandra? It didn't matter, I knew that neither Melinda or... Cassandra were hiding behind books, that was only me. Was that what it would say on my gravestone when that time came? In loving memory of Rose Weasley, who were always hiding behind books.
Was that really how I wanted people to remember me? Not that I planned to die any time soon, but still.
“So, what do I do to stop hiding?” I asked him suddenly, eagerly but I still held my distance from him.
“You could start by doing something for fun, and reading doesn't count,” he added with a small smirk.
“What's considered as fun, then?” I asked with a grimace and Scorpius sighed deeply.
“Go to the Three Broomsticks with your boyfriend and have a firewhiskey or two, I don't know. Hang out with people. There'll be a few people I know there next weekend, you and that Wilson guy could come along, I'm sure they would be fine with it,” he finished with a shrug.
“Lucas wouldn't be joining,” I said sourly and looked away from him before I confessed it all in one breath, “We're not together anymore.”
“Oh,” he said but he didn't seem all that surprised, “Why not?”
“It's none of your business!” I snapped at him and he flinched back and held his hands up, “Sorry.”
He shrugged it off and then I saw how he slowly looked over at Melinda and a sudden realization seemed to hit him before he turned back to face me.
“Well, you could start by telling your friends that you and Wilson broke up, I assume that no one know? You've been here more than usual, so I guess you're hiding either from your friends or from Wilson,”
“Yeah...” I admitted, knowing that he was right, “Why do you care anyway? What is it to you if I'm hiding or not?”
“Up until recently, I thought you were like the rest of the people here at Hogwarts, but then you told me that I wasn't my father, remember? It changed my view of you and I just don't think it's fair that someone like you should be treated like that. You know, talked about behind your back, laughed at from time to time, being called names and such. Most times you don't seem to care, but every now and then I can see a flicker of hurt in your eyes and I don't think that you deserve that."
He took a deep breath and then he continued.
"What is it to me? Well, it would certainly shut people up, and hopefully they would stop being so judging if they saw how wrong they could be. I just think that if you came out from your hiding place, then you could really shut them up. I'd like to see that happen. We're not who they say we are, you know? I'm not the same cold hearted bastard who thinks less of the people around me because of their blood status as my father was when he went to this school, and I know – I think- that you're not what they say you are,”
He took a small pause in his speech, I sensed that there was something that he wasn't telling me, he gave me a long look before he continued.
“Correct me if I'm wrong, but I believe that one of the reasons to why you're hiding is because you're afraid that they won't like who you really are?”
“Let's assume that you're right,” I said, shocked that he was right in so many ways and stunned that he had been paying to much attention to me, “What if I don't want to change?”
“We both know you do, or else you wouldn't have brought it up.”
“Fine,” I said with a deep sigh, “You're right.”
“I know,” he grinned before he glanced down at his watch, “Well, I really should get going, Nott will kill me if I don't meet her when I said I would, we'll finish this conversation some other time,”
He got up and he took my book and closed it, so that I wouldn't know which page I was on, “Stop hiding, Weasley,” and with that, he just left.
I stared at his back as he made his way out of the library, leaving me there to think over what he had told me.
He's right, though, why don't I show them how wrong they are? I asked myself as I made my way up to the Gryffindor common room, the many portraits followed me with their eyes, whispering things which I couldn't make out all while I tried to come up with how I would tell my brother and Al and James about Lucas. As I reached the Fat Lady, I mumbled the password and froze momentarily as I remembered the meaning of the password, 'Mehmet Credo' meant 'I believe in myself' and that was just what I needed to do. I needed to believe in myself just a little bit more. I took a deep breath and swallowed all my fears as I walked in to the common room, which was filled with people, and they all looked up when they saw me. I guessed I was back way earlier than I normally were.
Nervously I looked around until I found the messy, brown, short hair that belonged to my brother and made my way over to him.
“Hey,” I said as I stood awkwardly by his side, “Where's James and Al? I have something I want to talk to you guys about.”
“Uh... I think they're outside, their Quidditch practise just ended, I think. Should we search them up, or can it wait?”
“It can w-” I was so close to saying that it could wait, but then I saw the sandy dark blonde hair that entered the room, “It really can't wait any longer, let's go.”
Hugo gave me an odd stare, like he almost always did, but shrugged and walked ahead of me out of there, Lucas looked at me as if trying to figure out where I was going, but I ignored him completely and I believe that it annoyed him to no end.
I could feel not only his eyes on me, it was as if everyone's head turned to look at us as we walked out of there. I rolled my eyes when they couldn't see and then pushed it out of my mind. What I was about to do required all my attention. I couldn't just blurt it out, could I? No, definitely not.
I wondered about what time it was, since it had darkened outside; although, it was in the middle of January, so it would darken fast.
“How long until dinner is served?” I asked casually as I tried my hardest to keep up with Hugo, who walked a lot faster than me.
“Uhm, about an hour, I think,” was his reply, “I'm already starving, so I hope it's sooner.”
“Gods, you're always hungry, Hugh.”
He turned to me and raised his eyebrow as if asking me what I meant with that, but turned away from me as we both heard the roaring laugh that belonged to James, behind him followed Albus, who looked like he had fallen of his broom.
“Hey guys, Rose wants to talk to us!” shouted Hugo and they seemed to hurry up, Hugo motioned for us to follow him.
We stopped outside a closed door that led to a classroom which weren't being used, Hugo glanced over his shoulder before he muttered a simple Alohomora and motioned for us to follow him inside. I looked behind me nervously and expected to see a teacher standing right behind us watching, but there was no one there. In silence we all stepped inside and I closed the door behind us.
I turned around to see them all stand with their arms crossed over their chests and they waited. I realized that they waited for me to speak, so I cleared my voice. Just as I was about to chicken out and make a run for it, Scorpius voice echoed in my head, well, you could start by telling your friends that you and Wilson broke up...
“So... I've been acting a bit weird lately, I mean, more weird than usual. I s'pose you've noticed?” They all nodded but none of them spoke up, “It's because, well, you see...” It all happened so fast and even though I had told myself not to do it, I still just blurted it out, “Lucas and I broke up.”
The silence that followed my words grew louder, and louder... and louder.
“Isn't anyone going to say anything?” I mumbled after a while.
“Why did you break up?”
“Who broke up with who?”
“When did you break up?”
They asked their questions at the same time and I swallowed before answering them, one at the time. Starting with my brothers question.
“We broke up just a few days ago, about an hour after we returned from the holidays, I broke up with him,” I looked at them for a long moment before I finished the sentence, “Because he cheated on me,” I said in a low voice and then I waited for their reaction.
Albus cursed out loud while Hugo took a deep breath. But I focused on James, who stood completely still and I couldn't even tell if he was breathing or not. His mouth was a thin line and his eyes hard, I glanced down to see that his fists were clenched and as Al and Hugh started to say comforting things, he just looked even more furious and I knew what was about to happen before it had even happened. It was in moment like these that I wished that he wasn't so overprotective of me.
“James, don't!” I said and moved to stand in his way, “It's not worth it.”
Something that sounded awfully a lot like a growl came from the back of his throat and he moved forward and then he kindly moved me out of his way before he literally threw the door open and ran back up to the common room to find Lucas.
“James Sirius Potter, do not do it!” I shouted after him as I set out after him, but I knew it was useless, James was about to get himself yet another detention.
[There you have it! Chapter 3. I hope you like it, and I hope you'll review. Just want to say that I am not planning on having this story turn out like: BOM! they're in love all of the sudden. It's something that'll take some time. I hope you'll like that, that they'll take their time with their feelings.
So, what do you think of her finally telling her cousins? How was the chapter? The interaction between Rose and Scorpius? :) Thanks for reading!- Cathyyy-]
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