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What's That Word? by Groundswell
Chapter 8 : They Call It Nothing
 
Rating: MatureChapter Reviews: 20


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8 – They Call It Nothing

Usually I loved Monday mornings. Not today. I had half of my classes with the one and only James Potter, who I had shagged the previously day. James Potter, who I had a hate/hate relationship to. James Potter, who I once more didn’t know how to act towards. Kill me now, please.

I’d spend a little extra time in front of the mirror. Not really applying more mascara (the only thing I ever used) than usual, but making sure that my appearance was no less than perfect. It might have been a girl thing, but I wanted to make sure I looked perfect. I wasn’t exactly sure why I did it, but I did know it had something to do with him and the fact that he could be looking at me. It was a girl thing.

Again I decided to let him choose in which way we were playing this game. I sat in the back of the class next to Megan when he came strolling into the class alongside Sirius. They sat down next to ours.

He quickly looked towards our table, and our eyes met briefly. He barely acknowledged me before looking at Sirius, starting a conversation.

The game, apparently, was called Nothing.

I followed up and looked away, paying attention to class. But just then the weird feeling rushed over me. I knew at once, that he was looking. I kept my eyes on the paper a few seconds, taking a few breaths. Then, ever so slowly, I turned my head a bit, meeting his eyes.

I was surprised to find his gaze hostile and cold. I blinked and looked away at once. What? What exactly was that about? Was he mad at me?

I let my hand run through my hair; no it did lie flat as I’d made sure off. Then what was wrong?
The feather in my hand snapped and ink splattered all over my parchment.

“Frig,” I muttered. I grabbed for my wand and tried cleaning it, but it was ruined.

I could hear James snicker and sent him a death glare. He sent one back. I sighed and decided in that second that I needed to solve this stupid thing with James. I’d wanted to yesterday, but that had gone horribly, horribly wrong, today it wouldn’t.

I was out of class as one of the first ones. I knew Megan had to go straight to Care of Magical Creatures which I did not have and therefore wouldn’t miss. As I hid in the nearest empty classroom, I silently wondered how exactly I was going to get James on one hand. He was always followed by at least one of his friends, so I could see no other option than to kidnap him. But how to do it unnoticed?

It turned out I was lucky. James, Sirius, Remus, and Peter had just passed my classroom when I heard James.

“Oh, I’ve forgotten my book. Don’t wait for me guys, I’ll catch up with you.”

They all agreed and continued. James turned, ran back to the classroom to get his book and then past the classroom I was in again. With a flick I silenced him and then dragged him back with an invisible rope. When he first entered the classroom he was panicking (he probably thought someone was really going to kidnap him), but as his eyes landed on me he stopped moving and I lifted the silencing charm.

“Oh,” he muttered, brushing his robes and getting up, “it’s just you.”

Talking about hostile tone and glances. What was with him?!

I narrowed my eyes. “Of, course it’s just me. Who else?”

He shrugged. “I’m very popular. Maybe another fan girl, wanting my attention.”

“I’m not your fan girl,” I bit harshly. He opened his mouth to say something, but I cut him off. “Shut, up okay? I’m here in an official matter.”

He slouched against the wall, looking at me. “Figured. You’re a thinker, Evans. You think way too much over things.”

“Sometimes it’s necessary,” I said. “So!” I made an outcome with my hands.

“So what?”

“I hate it when you say that.”

“Yeah,” he sighed. “What are you going to do about it?”

I glanced at him. “I think we need to talk.”

He groaned. “Not again. Come on, Evans! Is that really necessary?”

“Um, yes!”

“You should stop always wanting to talk about things, and just let them be the way they are. It’s not healthy to over think every single little thing, you know?”

“I think this is pretty important.” I crossed my arms and studied his relaxed position.

“Okay,” he muttered. “What is it this time?”

As if he didn’t know. I moved my weight to the other leg, wondering just exactly I was to attack this problem.

“Yesterday,” I finally said.

His eyebrows rose. “Yes… Go on.”

“Well,” I said, looking away. “What… What was all that about?”

He suddenly smirked. I’m pretty sure he could see all of my insecurity and just found it funny. Found it funny that I had such a hard time just saying it out loud. He was waiting for me to do it, just like he’d been waiting for me to say it yesterday. He tormented me.

“What do you think it was about?”

I sighed. “Did you tell Sirius about it?”

He shook his head.

“Remus? Peter?”

He crossed his arms shortly and shook his head. “Nope and nope.”

“Good,” I muttered. “So, why were you mean to me today?”

“Because that’s how we are,” he said as if I was stupid. “You and I can’t seem to get along, so why try? You obviously have a very bad temper and I obviously know where to push to make that temper boil over. That’s the way we are.”

“And yesterday?”

“Was two persons shagging,” he said without batting an eyelid, sending me a glance which clearly said ‘how stupid are you really?’

“So that’s what it was?” I asked. “A one night stand between two people who hate each other. Okay, I see.” Oh, the sarcasm.

He smiled. A real smile, not his usual scornful smile he always gave me. It was a genuine smile which reached his eyes.

“You have to widen out your look at this, Evans,” he said and slowly pushed away from the wall, sauntering closer. “You see, there’re two sides of the human being. The physical side and mental side. Body and mind. The last one obviously doesn’t work for the two of us…”

He was getting really close to me, almost within reach. I slowly backed, making him grin. I locked my eyes with his, trying to read them, but it was impossible. He slowly reached out and touched my cheek, letting his whole hand cup it. I stopped backing up that second, letting him get all close. I wasn’t sure if I really wanted him to get close, but it was too late to back off now. He was only centimetres away.

“… but the last one… wow.” He smiled.

The urge to kiss him suddenly rushed over me, but somehow it seemed wrong at the same time. I looked away.

“So basically you hate me, but I’m a good shag?” It was actually more of a statement than a question.

He grinned. “Exactly, Lily.” The word seemed wrong in his mouth, mocking almost. Of course that was his intention too. He pattered my cheek once with his hand. “I got to go. I’ll see you later.” He turned and walked towards the door.

“Wait,” I whispered, but he heard me. He looked back at me, hand on the door. “So,” I started, my voice back to normal. “What is this? What have we done? What is it?”

His smile was back. “Nothing… really. But you can call it whatever you feel like. Sex, is a word too.”

“What? That sounds like loads of bullshit.”

He grinned. “Think about it.” He winked and then was out and I was left alone with my thoughts.

*

So maybe this whole thing actually was a good idea. I wasn’t ready to be confronted with my feelings towards James because I had no idea what they were. I had to agree with him, the sex had been unbelievable, but it was impossible to get us to get along.

But I still wasn’t sure what was happening between us. He’d been so cryptic and had only said things which created more questions in my mind and I couldn’t help wondering if that was his intention with it all.

I might have been thinking too much, but really what should I do? He was still treating me like shit, coming with his usual comments and being derisive. Not very nice in general. But his words still stuck with me, even after several days. How exactly did he want me to act and why couldn’t he just have said so instead of being so cryptic?

“Lily?”

I looked up, meeting Megan’s brown eyes. “You’re back,” I stated.

She looked at me, slightly concerned. “Been for a few minutes, Lily. You haven’t noticed.” She moved from my side to her own chair.

I sighed. “Sorry, Megan. My head’s kind of filled. How did it go?”

“Good.” She nodded. “David is so sweet and I really feel I’m learning something.”

Megan’s study sessions were going great. I could already see an improvement in most classes. I had to give her credit. Megan had never been a girl to fight, not even for what she wanted. She liked enjoying life and her life didn’t include school. Now she was actually fighting. Because of a boy, but she was doing it.

“So what were you thinking?”

I looked at her. Megan deserved to know. She really did. That’s what best friends are for, correct? And she’d understand. Maybe.

I slowly opened my mouth. “Megan, I need-”

Someone yelled behind me and the next second a person landed on my lap, making me scream shortly.

“Sirius!” I yelled, trying to push him away, but he didn’t move. “What are you doing?”

I wasn’t going to speak while he was there. I looked at Megan, but she didn’t seem sad she’d just missed out on the best story of the year. I wondered... Maybe I shouldn’t tell her. Sirius interrupting was definitely a sign, and it was better to know nothing than knowing something which could give her a heart attack.

“Missed you, Evans,” he said and smiled sweetly. “Haven’t you missed me?”

I couldn’t tell her. Maybe when I knew what had been going on. Maybe another day.

“No,” I rolled my eyes, grinning. “Will you please get off`? You’re making me all flat.”

“I certainly hope not,” he said, his eyes drifting. “That’d be a shame.”

“Pervert,” I muttered. “What are you doing down here?”

He yawned putting his hands behind his head. “Dunno. Was bored.”

“Oh, yeah. Then just come here and annoy Lily and Megan. They don’t have other things to do anyways.”

He smirked. “I know.”

Softly, I placed my two elbows on his stomach and then supported my head in the palms of my hands, looking down at him.

“Where are the other boys?” Megan asked.

“Dorm,” Sirius said and closed his eyes.

“You’re planning trouble, right?” I asked.

He shrugged slightly. “And even if we were I wouldn’t tell you as the first one, Evans. You’d just spoil it.”

“Oh.”

His eyes shot open. “So what happened between you and James?”

I stiffened. Did Sirius know? How? Had James told him?

“Err,” I muttered after five long seconds. “What do you mean?”

He shrugged slightly. “You haven’t fought for three whole days. Or… well, you’ve been nasty towards each other, but no fighting…”

I breathed out of relief. “Oh, I don’t know.” I looked away. “We’re saving up.”

“Really?” he asked. “You’ve not stopped.”

“Don’t sound so hopeful,” I smirked.

He groaned. “You know what I would love?”

“That James was a girl so you could date openly?” Megan asked. I snorted.

“No,” Sirius said and rolled his eyes. “That the two of them learned how to get along. My greatest wish of course is that they’d get together, but I’ve stopped believing in impossible miracles.”

I hit his stomach, making him gasp. “Stop it, will you?”

“Yeah, yeah.” He closed his eyes again. “And stop with the hitting, please? Ladies aren’t supposed to hit other people.”

I smiled softly.

“Padfoot?”

And my smile faded. I didn’t want to deal with James, not now.

He stopped as his eyes found Sirius and I. The grin he was wearing slowly faded and he scowled. “Oh, so that’s where you’re hiding,” he muttered. He looked at Megan. “Megster,” he greeted.

Sirius sighed. “Yes, with the lovely Miss Evans –”

James rolled his eyes. “See, that’s a word I’d never use about her.”

“– and the just as lovely Miss Swayne,” Sirius said as if he hadn’t noticed James’ interruption. James looked away, sulking. “So what brings you down here?”

“Moony and Wormtail are planning a not so good prank. I said I’d go get you because you’d probably have a few ideas.” He studied his fingernails while speaking. “But I think it’s a waste of time. It was doomed from the beginning.”

Sirius stretched and yawned. “Oh, it’s been too long since we last pulled a prank. Why are we even waiting?”

With my lips pulled hard together I placed a balled fist deeply in his stomach. “Sirius Black!”

He groaned and curled a bit. “Evans!”

I blushed. “Sorry, but really!”

I saw James’ gaze, he was pressing his lips hardly together, scowling. His gaze was not even at me, but at some point beside me. He noticed I was looking, and his scowl was now sent to me. I looked at Sirius instead.

“You okay, Black?”

“Yep,” he groaned. “Just glad it wasn’t fifteen centimetres further down.”

I smiled. “Sorry.”

“What’s the prank about?” Megan asked James.

“The Slytherins,” James said casually. “The usual.”

I made an unsatisfied soft snort, making James look at me. He was once again scowling. Nothing new there. I looked away at the same time as he. Things were starting to get awkward. Without thinking I got up. Sirius tumbled to the floor with a thud and groan.

“Hey!”

I looked down. “Sorry,” I said stiffly. I quickly helped him up.

He brushed some dust off of him, looking at me. “What was that about?”

“Nothing,” I said, shaking my head. “But I’ve got stuff to take care off. See you later.” I nodded at Megan and Sirius before I took off.

I was on the way up the stairs to the girls’ dorm when I heard a person behind me. I turned at once, finding Megan had followed me. She looked sour.

“What?” I asked a bit too sharply.

“Lily, what now?” she sighed.

“I could just feel a fight or something coming,” I muttered.

I rubbed my head. Something was off. Me or James. Either way, this whole situation felt wrong.

“I’m sorry, what?” She frowned.

I shook my head. “It doesn’t take much to piss me off today, and I can feel James is only waiting for an opportunity to do so.”

She studied me with raised eyebrows and had a sceptical expression on her face. “Lily, you’re acting strange. I’m sorry to say so, but since when did you start running away from such things?”

“Megan, just drop it,” I mumbled. “I’m not in the mood to discuss.”

“Then come.”

I knew I wasn’t going to win and followed her with a grim expression. Everyone sat exactly where they had when I’d left. Sirius still lay across the couch and James was sitting with his chin in his hands, muttering something to Sirius. They both looked up when I came. My eyes locked with James’ eyes for a second, and then Sirius. I slowly sat down where I’d sat before and Sirius slowly put his legs over mine again. James was scowling again. I ignored it and turned to Megan.

“Can’t we go down for dinner?”

“Lily,” she warned.

I rolled my eyes and turned away. Sirius snickered.

“Cheer up, Evans,” he said. “Weekend’s about to come.”

I glared at him, making him smirk.

“Why such face?” he asked. “Hey, let me cheer you up.”

“And how would you manage that?” I asked, arching an eyebrow.

“We could go out, you know,” he smirked. “Just as friends, of course.”

James snorted. “Forget it, Padfoot. She’d probably just bite your head off anyhow.”

“How’d you know?” I bit. “You’ve never had that pleasure to take me on a date.”

He clenched his teeth and glared at me. “Was I talking to you?”

“Talking about me, idiot.”

With a mutter Sirius rolled off me and onto the floor, crawling away towards the boys’ dorm. Megan got up, following. James and I were left alone to scowl at each other.

“Nice,” I snarled.

“You started it.” Very grown-up, yes.

“Didn’t.” Way to go, let’s all be childish.

“Did.”

I glared at him who glared back. After several long seconds I got up.

“Good day,” I said and walked towards the portrait hole. Dinner was waiting.

He said nothing in return, and to be honest I didn’t really care.

A/N: I just realise that I haven't made an A/N since I started this story... Anyways... Thanks for reading so far. I'm not happy with this chapter, but I can't quite put my finger on it though. I might come back to re-write it, though I usually forget about such things. Today I planned out the rest of this story, wrote a little bit, and finished the last chapter. There will be around 19 I think... So... That's actually it. Review and I'll love you forever :D Now betaed by the amazing Jessica!


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