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Chapter 1 : Confessions
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Well I heard there was a secret cord,
That David played and it pleased the Lord,
But you don’t really care for music, do you?
Two otherwise un extraordinary teenagers were dancing in the middle of an abandon street, faint music was coming from a local pub, but they were way off beat. The girl who most people would call breathtakingly beautiful leaned heavily on the boy’s chest, not because she was weak, but simply because is was comfortable like that. Her long red hair fell right below the middle of her back. She was wearing a quite plain cotton dress, and her milk chocolaty brown eyes reflected the stars above her.
The boy, who was about 5inches taller then the girl, held on to here like she was the most important person in the world. He was skinny, but muscular, he had extremely messy black hair, his skin was light other then the relicts of old injuries. His green eyes were intent on the girl.
She stifled a deep yawn. “ Are you tired, Gin?” The boy asked, “ you’ve been though a lot lately, I can take you home.”
“ You worry to much.” She said, “ I’m fine.” But she was betrayed by another yawn.
“ You’re far to stubborn.” He laughed.
“ You’re far to worried.” Ginny retorted.
“ Come on, I’ll bring you home.”
“ I’ll never surrender!” she joked sleepily. He looked at her for a few seconds before he quite easily lifted her up, “ Hey! Har-ry” She retorted kicking her legs and laughing. He smiled at her and cradled her carefully. He walked briskly up the hill of Saint Ottery Catchpole to a large unorthodox house hidden away behind the biggest hill.
Harry opened the door and pushed his way in, Ginny still in his arm, but she stopped struggling now.
“ Oh my God, is she ok?” Someone yelled, Harry looked up to see his best friend Ron Weasley running towards him, “ Were you attacked, what happened?”
“ I’m fine, Ronald.” Ginny said tiredly. “ Harry just refuses to realize I’ve got two legs.” Harry set her down on her feet and she straitened herself indignantly.
“ She got a bit tired and it’s a steep climb back up here, I didn’t want her to fall.” Harry said in self-defense.
“ Uh-huh.” Ginny scoffed. “ You just wanted an excuse to carry me.”
“ Well that’s a small detail.” Harry admitted.
“ Hands off my baby sister.” Ron said half-playfully half-serious.
“ I’m going to bed,” Ginny announced, “ I’m allowed to walk up the stairs by myself?”
“ I suppose,” Harry smiled; he kissed her, before she skipped off up the stair.
“ I hate it when you do that.” Ron scowled.
“ What?” Harry asked slightly dazed, “ kiss?”
“ Yeah, snog, and hug, and act all mushy,” Ron said, “ Remember she’s my sister.”
“ You snog Hermione, and she’s as good as my sister.” Harry retorted.
“ That’s totally different.”
“ It totally isn’t.” Harry said, they weren’t arguing, just discussing, “ You said yourself that you’d rather have her with me then somebody else.”
“ Yeah, but, that was before we left.” Ron admitted. “ I don’t want her to get hurt again.”
“ Ron, you know why I broke up with her before, and you know it won’t happen again. Voldemort is dead. She’s not in danger anymore.”
“ I’m…I’m not talking about that.” Ron murmured, his ears pink, his eye’s pained.
“ Then what are you talking about?” Harry asked.
“ I’m talking about last spring.” Ron looked up his eyes were over flowing with fear and sadness, but they were also pleading for forgiveness. “ When…when we all thought you were dead.”
“ Oh.” Harry said simply not knowing what else to say, what ever he was expecting, it wasn’t this.
“ I know it wasn’t your fault, mate,” Ron went on, “ but, I mean…well, just, it scared all of us, but Ginny most of all, she…well Bill had to hold her back to stop her from breaking through the barrier.” Ron flinch, Harry was guessing he was recalling her screams of anguish, Harry remembered to well, too. “ She…I…You… Well, I don’t want her to go through anything remotely close to that again…”
“ I’m sorry,” Harry said, “ But that’s not going to happen again, I’m not going anywhere this time. I promise. I’m going to protect her, no matter what. I never want her to hurt.”
Ron looked uncomfortable, but his eyes were still unsure, Harry suspected that there was more to it, but Ron wasn’t going to say. “ Sorry, mate. I shouldn’t have…”
“ Forget it.” Harry muttered. “ Just forget it, I understand. I…I’m going to go to bed. I…I’ll see you in the morning.” He got half way up the stairs before Ron called him again.
“ Harry.” Ron said, Harry turn to face him, “ Just, well, be careful, alright? You’re my friend too, and I don’t want to lose you either.” Harry pursed his lips and nodded before replying.
“ Thanks, Ron.” He said, because he didn’t know what else to say, “ Goodnight.”
“ Hey, Harry,” Hermione greeted passing Harry on the stairs. “ You okay? You look peaky.”
“ Fine,” he lied, “ I’m just on my way to bed.”
“ Sleep tight.” She said before bounding down the steps into the kitchen. Harry went into Bill’s old room, with Mrs. Weasley cleaned up and converted into Harry’s room, Teddy was in Percy’s old room, and Hermione had Charlie’s. Secretly Harry suspected that Mrs. Weasley was just anxious to have a full house again and wanted to make it as comfortable as possible for the guests so they wouldn’t leave. Of course Harry didn’t mind, it beat being alone with Teddy in Grimace Place, and it was too crowd for him to sleep in Ron’s room anymore.
Harry changed into his pajama bottoms, flopped down on the bed and closed his eyes, but he had no intention of going to sleep. He sighed and thought about what Ron said. Ginny most of all, she…well Bill had to hold her back to stop her from breaking through the barrier. He didn’t want to think about what would’ve happened if Bill wouldn’t have been there, the thought made him sick to his stomach. Then the memory flooded into his mind, laying limply in Hagrid’s arms, and Ginny’s heart wrenching screams, “ Harry! HARRY!” He covered his ears even though it didn’t help one bit; in fact it was a very stupid and childish thing to do. Since he knew as well as anybody that you couldn’t block out the sounds of memories.
But he tried his hardest; he tried every day to forget the sound of Ginny’s sobs, to erase every thought of that day. He never wanted to think about the pain he put his friends through. He was almost resentful to Ron for bringing it up. But, Harry reasoned with himself, it wasn’t Ron’s fault, he was just protecting his little sister. But it’s not my fault either! I never did anything more then try to protect the ones I love!
“ Urrg!” Harry groaned pulling his pillow over his face, he didn’t know what to do, he couldn’t sleep, he was to frustrated and guilty but he couldn’t do anything else either.
Why couldn’t he just know for sure what the right thing to do was? Was it to stay here, even though Fred wasn’t here because of him? Or was it to leave, and prevent the family he loved from any more danger? It would be easier if he knew for a fact that every single Death Eater, or Dark Arts supporter was in Azkaban, but he couldn’t be sure. He knew there were still a lot of people out there that wanted him dead. How could he still be with Ginny knowing that? He was just getting her more attached when he knew he could have to leave or even be killed at any moment. But the thought of not being with her was unbearable. Why couldn’t he just be normal? It would be so much easier then. He could be alone with Ginny guilt free, just him and her, together forever.
But no, he was Harry Potter, and nothing could ever be easy for him, he was damned at the age of one to live a difficult life. And his whole life, he accepted his destiny without complaining, he never fought against it. So just this once, couldn’t fate give him a break and let him be happy? No, he knew he would never be truly happy until he knew his Ginny was safe, he would never sit quietly while Death Eaters still roamed free.
Harry reached into his pocket and pulled out a small velvet box. He turned it over in his hands a few times then opened it, inside was a white-gold and diamond ring, it belonged to Lily Potter, Sirius had given it to Harry four years ago. He sighed and looked at the small ring; he planned to give it to Ginny one day, but not for a long time, at least four or five years. But should he even consider it? After all that would mean Ginny would carry all the weight that came with being a Potter. Should he really subject her to that?
And then he thought of something worse then anything else; worse then Ginny’s cries of agony, worse then the thought of Death Eaters, even worse then the thought of leaving Ginny again. He thought of Ginny dead, her milk chocolate eyes pleading as Voldemort held his wand to her, a flash of green light and the same eyes blank and glazed. Voldemort laughing his cold, clear laugh.
“ No!” Harry told himself out loud, “ That will never happen, he’s dead; I killed him and he’s dead. He’ll never hurt anyone again.” He was dead, Harry kept thinking, all eight horocruxes are destroyed; the locket, the snake, the cup, the ring, the diadem, the diary, the scar, and the body were all destroyed. If there were more Dumbledore would’ve known. But what if he made another one after he figured out the diary was gone? No, Harry thought again, I would have felt it. If it was when my scar still was a horocrux, which it would have been, I would’ve felt it.
There was a knock at the door, which pulled Harry out of his internal struggle. “ C-come in.” He said. Ginny opened the door, dressed in an over sized tee shirt and green and blue pajama pants, her hair was in a long thick braid.
“ Hi.” She said.
“ Hi,” he answered, “ I thought you went to bed?”
“ I was down to brush my teeth and I heard you saying something, you sounded…what’s the right word? Maybe a mix between worried, hurt, and frustrated.”
Harry gave her a half-hearted smile. “ You always know how everyone is feeling, don’t you?”
“ I’m not as good as Luna.” Ginny admitted, “ but I do know when you’re stressed…most of the time.”
“ Come here.” Harry invited, patting the bed beside him. Ginny walked over and sat down resting her head on his chest right next to his left shoulder. She smelt like flowers, even though her perfume must have worn off hours ago; her hair still held the sweet floral scent that Harry loved so much. She was tracing little circles on his bare chest with her index finger, she came to the bruise from the killing curse, of course, despite the fact four months had past since he acquired it, and it was still an angry shade of black, blue, brown, and green.
“ Does that still hurt terribly?” Ginny asked, her eyes concerned.
“ Not so much anymore.” Harry said, “ But I guess this means I can’t get a tattoo there, huh?” He half smiled at her; she smiled back.
“ Damn.” She said, jokingly “ I really thought a Hungarian Horntail would look nice there.”
“ What? No script?”
“ Oh, yes.” She teased, “ the words ‘ come get me’ in big flaming letters, right underneath so it looks like the dragon is breathing them out.”
Harry smiled, “ Well, maybe if that heals…then…nope, it will still never happen.” Ginny laughed. Then her face turned more serious.
“ Are you going to tell me what’s wrong now, or am I going to have to guess?”
“ What are your guesses?”
“ Hmmm… you forgot how to do the cheering charm?” Ginny said, nonseriously.
“ Damn, right on.” Harry joked. Ginny gave him a look. “ To be honest? I had a chat with Ron.”
“ Oh no!” Ginny sighed, “ What did he say?”
“ Nothing…that bad. He brought up some good points but they were kind other, what muggles would say, below the belt.”
“ What did he say?” Ginny repeated.
“ He just brought up last spring…” Harry looked into her brown eyes, “ You know, when you thought I was dead.”
“ Oh.” Ginny said, she looked thoughtful for a moment. “ That…that wasn’t good, that wasn’t a good time.”
“ No,” Harry sighed, “ No, it wasn’t.”
“ What did Ron say about it?”
“ He just said that it wasn’t fair for me to hurt you like that.”
“ Harry…” Ginny said emotion filling her eyes, “ That wasn’t your choice, and it’s over, try not to think about it.”
“ I can’t help it, I just keep thinking about how I felt when I heard you crying, and…” He shivered.
“ To be honest, I was mad at first…not necessarily at you, just…upset…that you let me think that you were dead, but I know it was part of your plan.”
“ Not really,” Harry admitted. “ I had no idea what I was doing.”
“ You never do.”
“ I know,” Harry sighed squeezing Ginny. “ I love you.”
“ I know.” She smiled, “ I love you too.”
“ I know.”
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